Creativity wounds: the slings and arrows of outrageous criticism.
by Anne R. Allen.
A couple of weeks ago, Grant Faulkner, executive director of NaNoWriMo, wrote a short piece for Jane Friedman’s blog about what he calls “creativity wounds.”
The post resonated with me. Oh, yeah, I know about creativity wounds!
I have to admit that I personally have never participated in NaNoWriMo. At this point in my career, I’m a marathoner, not a sprinter. Plus I have way too many different projects going on to work on one book for a whole month.
But there was a time when I think NaNo might have helped me. That was back when I wrote in secret—and hardly ever finished anything. And if I got to the point where I could write “the end” on a piece, I’d bury it in a drawer.
I was incapable of writing a whole novel. I always stopped after the first 40 pages or so. That went on for decades. The only things I finished were a few plays. That was because directors and actors were waiting for them, so I had deadlines.
I felt unworthy of calling myself a “real writer.” (BWT, if you write and you’re not a wooden puppet carved by an old Italian guy named Gepetto, you’re a real writer. 🙂 )
By the time NaNoWriMo came along, I had finally launched a successful writing career, and I’d overcome that feeling of unworthiness.
But if I’d tried something like NaNo back in my 20s or 30s, I might have had a book finished (and published) sooner.
Creativity Wounds
So where did my feeling of unworthiness come from? I’m pretty sure they came from those “creativity wounds” Grant Faulkner wrote about.
My parents were both highly critical academics. I remember showing one of my early stories to my Yale professor father. I was in elementary school—probably third or fourth grade. My story was a fantasy tale about digging a hole to China and meeting a Chinese boy who was dealing with the same issues with his family as the protagonist. A bit derivative and heavy-handed with the moralizing, but hey, I was nine.
My father’s response to my pitch was, “You don’t know any Chinese boys. You have to write what you know.” He handed it back, unread.
I tore up my story and never showed him another word I wrote.
My mom was more encouraging, but she was a compulsive grammarian. If I showed her one of my stories, she’d return it bleeding with corrections and notes in the margin telling me to avoid overuse of ellipsis and beware a wandering point of view.
For my parents, praise was for authors published in The New Yorker, not an unskilled child.
Usually I’d get A’s on my creative writing assignments in school, but that wasn’t enough to offset my parents’ indifference.
So yeah, I had creativity wounds. Not one huge one like the one Grant Faulkner writes about, but lots of little cuts.
No matter what the source, these criticisms can make you feel “untalented.” But it’s important to remember that “talent” is not the most important quality a professional writer needs. There are many that are more important, which I discuss in my post 8 Qualities that are More Important than Talent for Writing Success.
Beware of Passing on Your Creativity Wounds
I often recommend critique groups for new writers. They’re a great way to learn the ropes of the publishing industry and get feedback from your peers. Beta readers can provide valuable feedback too.
But beware! Sometimes people pass their creativity wounds on to you. They’ll try to inflict the same wounds they suffered on other creatives.
I have seen plenty of skilled writers devastated by a cruel critique or review. Often the criticism comes out of the blue and can seem unrelated to the work. It’s important to realize that people in these situations—even professionals like agents and teachers—can push personal agendas that have nothing to do with your writing and everything to do with their own psychological issues.
I once witnessed a sadistic critique of a young man’s story at a writer’s conference. He ran out of the room to hide his rage and grief. I had to pray he wasn’t susceptible to depression, because the group had engaged in a kind of dog-pile attack that could have damaged him for life.
I realized later the workshop leader had probably been savaged that way himself. He had been writing for years, but never had a novel published and his work appeared in only a few obscure literary journals. I’m sure all that rejection wounded him terribly.
But his cruel critiques weren’t helping new writers grow. They were simply passing along his own creativity wounds.
People can’t learn from something that feels like an attack. They’ll just shut down. They may even shut down their creative life permanently.
That night I wrote a story about a young man at a writers’ conference who appears to have committed suicide after a toxic critique. It later became the inciting incident in my mystery Ghostwriters in the Sky.
If you’re in a workshop or critique group where you witness this, don’t join in. No matter how clueless the newbie is, there’s always something to like. Deliver your criticism with empathy, or it will do nothing to help the writer, and it may inflict permanent creativity wounds.
Small Successes can Help Overcome Creativity Wounds
Obviously I kept writing in spite of my family’s indifference. My drive to create was powerful. But I wouldn’t have kept going if I hadn’t had some small successes.
My first small success came when I had a poem published in my prep school literary magazine.
Calling it a magazine was a stretch. It was a stack of stapled mimeographed pages, which had the pretentious name, “Finnegan’s Awakening.” I still have some yellowed copies, with the faded purple ink barely readable.
The editor was a tough kid from Brooklyn—the foster child of the minister of a local church in our little Maine town. His name was Michael Ventura.
Yes, that Michael Ventura. He became a fiery journalist and film critic who co-founded L.A. Weekly. One of his most popular pieces is his essay on writing called The Talent of the Room.
Even in high school, we knew he was destined for big things. To me, he was James Dean and Kerouac and Buzz from Route 66 all rolled into one brilliant, tragic fifteen-year old.
I was an eighth-grader with a big tween-age crush. It took all the courage I had to submit a poem to his magazine.
But he liked it.
He said “Hey kid, you can write.”
So I became a published writer. In spite of my creativity wounds. Yes, it was only a mimeographed booklet put out by high school kids, but that small success kept me going.
I kept writing poems. Most of them were terrible, but you have to turn out a lot of terrible to get to good.
And that’s where NaNoWriMo comes in.
What is NaNoWriMo?
For the uninitiated, NaNoWriMo stands for “National Novel Writing Month.” The “nation” of the title was originally the USA, but NaNo is now a worldwide event with over 600 regions on six continents.
NaNoWriMo was started in 1999 by a young San Franciscan named Chris Baty—and 21 of his verbally ambitious friends. It challenges you to write a complete novel in a month. That month is November.
And it’s why so many of your online writer friends often disappear around November 1st.
Anybody who finishes 50,000 words by midnight November 30th is a winner. There’s no prize but a badge for your blog. Completion of your novel is its own reward.
“Winning” NaNoWriMo doesn’t help you get an agent or publisher. In fact, when you send out a novel that started in NaNoWriMo, don’t mention it in your query. Agents see so many unedited, sucky-first-draft NaNo novels in their slush piles every December, the name can be the kiss of death.
However, hundreds of NaNoWriMo novels actually have been successfully published after they’ve been edited and polished. Sara Gruen’s Water for Elephants, Erin Morgenstern’s The Night Circus, Hugh Howey’s Wool, and Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl all started as NaNo projects.
To enter, people needed to register at NaNoWriMo’s site before November 1st in order to have their word count verified at the end of the month. It doesn’t cost a thing.
How NaNoWriMo Can Help Overcome Creativity Wounds.
NaNoWriMo can give writers the kind of “small success” I got from getting my poem into the school literary magazine.
It’s the push that can propel you ahead on your writing path, in spite of obstacles and wounds. Finishing a whole novel can be as exhilarating as your first publication.
NaNo forces you to keep putting the words down. It makes you ignore all those negative voices in your head saying “write what you know-keep in a single point of view-slaughter the adverbs-show don’t tell” and all the other half-truths that can keep you feeling paralyzed. Silencing them can make for real breakthroughs for a lot of writers.
If in the end you’ve written a whole novel, you are indeed a winner. 97% of people who try to write novels never finish them. You’re in the 3%!
It’s a personal success that can keep you going in spite of those wounds.
But NaNo Doesn’t Work for Everybody…and Can Even be Dangerous
But it’s important to know that NaNo can have the opposite effect on some writers. It can make them feel like failures.
SciFi author Fonda Lee, author of Jade City talked about this a couple of years ago on Chuck Wendig’s blog.
She said: “I have what feels like a dirty secret: I write slowly. You know how some writers do word sprints where they shoot for a thousand words an hour, or aim for twenty thousand words in a weekend? I’m not that person.”
Studies show there’s a physiological explanation for the fact some people can’t engage in intense cerebral activity for long periods of time.
Researchers Paul W. Andrews, and J. Anderson Thomson Jr. showed there’s a link between the kind of deep thought needed to think through something complex, like plotting a novel, and the “rumination” that is a classic symptom of depression.
It’s as if a person gets stuck in a dark part of the brain and can’t get out.
So if you have tendency to depression or anxiety, and you are feeling your mood sinking during NaNoWriMo, take a breather.
How to Keep Critiques from Wounding You
I always say that critique groups and beta readers are great for feedback, but you can usually ignore their advice. See my post on 6 Ways a Critique Group Can Hurt Your Writing and 6 Ways They Can Help.
Instead, pay attention to what people react to and what doesn’t work for them. Their suggestions on how to fix the problems are usually wrong, but the important thing is they point out what parts need work.
And always remember that cruel or bullying remarks say more about the speaker than the victim. Don’t let the speaker’s wounds get passed on to you. Get more feedback from a different source. Even though that speaker never overcame their creativity wounds, you can.
If you think NaNoWriMo will help do that, go for it!
Humor helps keep this stuff in perspective. Tomorrow I have a post going up at the Insecure Writers’ Support Group blog that lists ten types of less-than-helpful critique groups. Check it out if you need a laugh.
by Anne R. Allen (@annerallen) October 21, 2018
What about you, scriveners? Do you have creativity wounds? Has NaNoWriMo helped overcome them? Have you been battered by a critique group or beta reader who decided to make the critique about their rage instead of your work? What’s the worst thing anybody’s said in reaction to your work?
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Hi Anne — Thanks. Something I really appreciate in this post is its kindness. Should writers challenge themselves and be exacting and picky and demanding? Yes — otherwise their work won’t ever get out of the drawer you mention. But with all that exacting/picky/demandingness we need to be kind to ourselves and one another. Thanks.
CS–You’re right. This post really is about kindness. For other creatives (and I think everybody is a creative in some area) and for yourself. Thanks for the clarifying word, Mr. WordMonger!
Anne—You wrote a post explaining why talent is not enough for a successful writing career. Instead, you mention eight other qualities even more important—among them, patience, persistence and passion. Those three by themselves will go along way in helping a young writer deal with the rejection and indifference that are part of every writer’s path. Here’s the link: https://annerallen.com/2018/01/8-qualities-more-important-than-writing-talent/
Ruth–Thanks so much for the reminder. I’ll put this link in the post!
My first and last NaNoWriMo left me feeling like a failure.
However, the camaraderie and constant support from fellow writers cheering on you was motivating.
I am not doing NaNoWriMo this year or next. If all I can write is 500 or 600 words a day, so be it.
Grea article, Anne. I agree in not passing our creative wounds into others.
We should spread kindness and support instead.
Ingmar–I’m a slow writer, too. NaNo would probably make me feel awful right now. But for a lot of writers it works to break through those blocks. You’re right that kindness is what we need.
Where cam I start? I’ve gotten crucified with my writing over the years, but during that same time period, I’d also received my fair share of good critique from fellow bloggers who happened to be very good writers as well. My ultimate response to those naysayers was a small succinct dig in the acknowledgement section of my one and only traditionally published book that read: To all of those naysayers that said I couldn’t string two words together to make a sentence. Guess what, I was able to string two words together to make a sentence.
In regards to that NaNu-Na-Nu thingy, I think it’s much ado about absolutely nothing. If you’re gonna write, needing a “special” month that puts unwanted and unneeded stress on your semi-fragile self-esteem is not gonna help write that novel. Short story, maybe. Novel, no.
GB–Congrats on being able to string two words together to make a sentence. Haha. Congratulations on overcoming those creativity wounds!
NaNo works for some. Not for me, but I know people who have had huge breakthroughs by pushing themselves to grind out those 50,000 words. I think some of it has to do with giving them an excuse to skip those awful Thanksgiving dinners with all the relatives. 🙂
Mine’s more of a hidden block. It’s always been there, but as I pushed more towards writing more and trying to make a living off my writing, then it really showed up. Earlier this year, I got in StoryBundle and made more money than I’ve ever made with my writing. And the writing dried up. I wrote every day and just didn’t produce much of anything. It was very frustrating. Joanna Penn mentioned the book The Big Leap, so I got it and realized that I’ve gone through about five “ULPs” in the last few years. (It’s hitting a level that’s too good to be true and doing something to feel worse.)
For my writing, I grew up in a house where I was encouraged to write. Mostly. I had a relative in the pulp who was never able to write enough to live off (because he only wrote children’s fiction), so the common phrase I heard was “You’ll never make money writing.” My father, the son of a minister who didn’t want to be one, always had side hustles going on. Nothing has ever been successful, and one has been ongoing forty-plus years. He did have opportunities where he could have really made a lot of money and “something happened” so that the opportunities went away. The message I got was “You can have a labor of love, but you’ll always work it on the side and never make money.” So making a lot of money really went against this.
I’m working on a mystery, and t’s been a struggle at times in itself. Even though I read mysteries, wrote mystery short stories as a child, I was afraid to try. I think this is because when I was a young adult, my mother blurted out one day something about “That horrible Sharon McCall character.” That was the series character I’d done, like Nancy Drew. My mother read all over those stories. I don’t remember, but I’m wondering how much I picked up on from her reactions.
Linda–sorry I put my response in the wrong window. It’s below. 🙂
Linda–Congrats on working on a mystery after that creative wound. At least it sounds to me as if your mother’s reaction to your “Nancy Drew” might have been responsible for that “hidden block.” All your father’s failures must have given you some negative messages too.
But you’ve done it. You’ve overcome those wounds (I’m not saying they can heal, but you can overcome them) You’re making a living and got yourself back on a creative path. That’s a huge achievement!
Thanks for the recommendation of The Big Leap. I’ll check it out.
My parents were the opposite, reminding me constantly that I would make a million…and keep them as they planned to be kept. They encouraged me to write for that reason and my first paid work was published at age 14. I dutifully took care of them to my own detriment, only realised later in life. But I’ve only ever wanted to write for a living and am blessed to have achieved this. Creative wounds can be overcome, as you say Anne, but beware of them working on in the background. Drag them out into the light.
Valerie–That’s the problem isn’t it–when you don’t know you have those wounds. They need light!
It was a shame that your parents couldn’t give you the support you needed and deserved. But, parents are human also, no matter how much we wish otherwise.
I congratulate you on your success and overcoming those blocks. We all have blocks of one kind or another. They can only be removed with concerted effort and self-honesty.
BTW, such a marvelous post! Thank you for giving permission to not tackle the challenge if you feel like it won’t work for you. Every writer has the same need to write, every writer has a different means to achieve that end.
Mark–My parents had received the same kind of wounds so I’m sure they didn’t know any better.
This should be embroidered on a pillow or something. “Every writer has the same need to write, every writer has a different means to achieve that end.” NaNo definitely isn’t for everybody. Thanks!
Fabulous Anne, I’m sure this will help a lot of writers besides myself for the reasons already highlighted.
I’ve been very fortunate in the existence of my beta-group, but when I saw these words:
“Sometimes people pass their creativity wounds on to you. ”
I simply howled with acknowledgement, because I am COMPLETELY sure that is true. What a world, with writers in it- who SHOULD understand everything there is to know about point of view and empathy- but still walk around like fire hydrants of vitriol dumping on others without an ounce of irony. Lord preserve me from such “recognition”!!
Will–There always seems to be one of those “fire hydrants of vitriol” in every writing group. I talk about them in my post at the IWSG tomorrow. I agree that what’s most surprising about these folks is their inability to see the irony.
I’ve asked the writers in the feedback group I run to stop giving feedback where they’re imposing the constraints of THEIR genre on other writers in different genres! And I’m doing NaNo again for the impetus. We’ll see how I do…
Icy–That’s one of my pet peeves too! If you wrote a romance to the specifications of literary writers, you’d never sell a copy. And if you wrote a thriller following romance guidelines you’d infuriate your audience.
I remember a “helpful” critiquer who once told me my heroine wasn’t “in danger” because a guy was only threatening to rape her, not kill her. Grrr.
Excellent post, Anne. Egos by their nature are fragile (even that guy in DC who covers it with bombast and attack). When I went to NYC right after graduation from tiny Oglethorpe University in GA, I took a short story class at The New School for Social Research. The “teacher” was one of those who discourage rather than encourage, his reasoning being to “toughen the skin” of newbie writers. I didn’t give fiction another try for 25 years. Substituted newspaper and non-fiction writing, but finally I’m back to story-telling and never been happier.
Sk–Especially that guy! Haha. The people who are most likely to dish out toxic criticism are the ones who can’t take the slightest whiff of not-praise.
I know other writers who were “toughened up” at the New School in the 1960s and never wrote again. I had no idea that happened to you! No wonder you turned to journalism. I’m so glad you’re back to writing fiction!
Hi Anne, I had two amazing wonderful aunts who were in the publishing business. They looked askance at my short story attempts, yet I kept at it. Years later, when my children were raised and I then had three novels, all unpublished!, I didn’t share my progress. I think they would have been proud of my published book of stories, but aside from my older brother who encourages me cause he reads my stuff and a younger brother who encourages me but does not read my stuff–I keep at it. In the end, a writer must believe in herself. I’ve had lots of positive and negative critiques from writers groups. Now I choose to go my own way, though I do take online workshops occasionally. Sometimes you see brilliance in others. Sometimes you see it in yourself. Thanks.
Elizabeth–Sometimes having parents or mentors who know too much about the business can have a negative effect, unfortunately.
I think one of the biggest benefits of critique groups and workshops is seeing what another writer’s weaknesses are and working out what will help them. Plus the support of a good group is invaluable.
The critiques that wound the most are the ones that include personal attacks and the ones that show cold indifference, I think.
Great to have people who support you even if they don’t read you. We tend to forget their support alone is worth a lot.
NaNo is not for everyone. I beat it the first year I tried and while I will be taking most of November off to write, I don’t think I’ll pressure my creativity with NaNo.
Alex–I like your plan. Your own private NaNo. No pressure. 🙂
First, I think you did have a pretty huge creativity wound as a child with your father’s comment, but you didn’t let it stop you despite the pain it must have caused. Second, when you talked about personal agendas of critters, it struck a chord with me.
I wrote a case report and submitted it to a top-tier journal in my professional field. Two reviewers basically said “publish with minor changes”. The third reviewer savaged my manuscript and said “reject”. But his critiques centered on a minor technique that was only included for completeness and had nothing really to do with the overall report. His review was politically motivated (he opposed internists performing laser surgeries and had a beef with my mentor…it was easy enough to figure out who the reviewer was). On the plus side, he stimulated my creativity, especially after my mentor told me I couldn’t flat out call him an “ignorant a$$*&#e” in my response. I ‘toned down’ my response, but still managed to tell him what I thought of him…and didn’t make a single change in my manuscript based on his review. My mentor almost told me to told it down more, then said, “nah, send it.”
Second round of reviews: Reviewers 1 & 3: “Why am I seeing this again? It needs to be published.” Reviewer 2: Rehash of original critique almost word for word along with “reject, not fit for publication”. Editor: “Just cut & paste your first response and send it back to me so that I have documentation. I’m accepting your manuscript for publication”. My editor was clearly fed up with Reviewer 2.
For a newbie, it would have been a devastating, career-threatening laceration. At that point, however, I had enough publications (all in top-tier journals) under my belt to turn my skin into a thick leather hide so the cut didn’t penetrate very deep. But it did open my eyes to how vicious the politics in the Ivory Tower are.
TL;DR
Even with thick skin and experience, the first time you experience that deep-cutting critique, that huge creativity wound, it still feels like a blow to the nads with a sledgehammer. And it will happen at some point. All you can do is get up, get pissed, and prove that critter wrong. Although you still probably shouldn’t call a peer-reviewer an “ignorant a$$*&#e” even if the title is deserved.
And…Howdy Anne! Loved this blog post.
Ron–It’s amazing how many ignorant @$$#*&%$ there are delivering critiques and reviews, isn’t it? And I guess it makes sense. People complain a lot more than they praise. It’s human nature. But it sounds as if you ran into somebody who simply had a personal grudge that had nothing to do with you or your work. I’m so glad to hear he didn’t succeed.
A story circulated at Bryn Mawr College when I was an undergrad: they said that PhD candidates in one department didn’t get their degrees for nearly a decade. Two professors who hated each other rejected each others’ students year after year. It sounds as if you almost fell into a black hole like that.
You’re absolutely right that it’s all in the timing. If you get a scathing critique when you’re a tender newbie, it can scar you for life. But as we progress, we thicken our skin and learn that confidence has to come from within.
I emphasize with your creativity wounds. My elementary and high school teachers were not supportive. My parents never. My first wife and her family ridiculed what I wrote. I struggle with these rejections even today.
I never considered NaNoWriMo, but maybe I might try this time. Thanks for the post.
Stanley–Trying NaNoWriMo may help. Even if you don’t “win,” you’ll find lots of kindred spirits. I think that’s the most powerful part of the whole thing.
Sorry to hear you’ve faced so much discouragement. Most creatives don’t make much money these days, but we do get to fulfill our spirits. .
I’ve finished 3 book drafts thanks to NaNoWriMo. One of which is now polished and in the querying process.
For me? It’s a way to get used to writing every day. And NaNo’s pretty welcoming for ‘Rebels’. I’ve used NaNo for editing before. For finishing works-in-progress. I plan my writing schedule around it — launching new drafts in November, and finishing them after the new year.
Camp NaNo — in April and June — allow you to set your own word targets.
I’m DEFINITELY not a sprinter, but my writing-pace during non-nano is probably closer to 15-25,000 words a month — when I’m actually writing and not editing/revising/etc.
1,667 words a day is just under 7 pages for the industry average of ‘250-words-count-as-a-page’.
For me, it’s usually 275 words per page, so 6 pages a day. I don’t always write on my novel directly — I’ve been known to right vignettes about the secondary characters, myths about the world, and an excessive number of meals that usually get edited out in my 2nd round of revisions.
Morgan–When people are trying to finish a whole novel in a month, they usually don’t take the time to write those vignettes and character studies (and menus 🙂 ) for their characters, but wow–those are such great tools to plow through writer’s block and take your writing to the next level. Those suggestions are golden! Thanks.
Great post, Anne! I am already getting requests to edit/review NaNo manuscripts in December. I try to do assessments on 4 or 5 that month. These are quickie read-throughs, meant to capture very broad issues, like missing material, transitions, under-developed characters, etc. I only look at language aspects in terms of habitual bits — but not when it’s clear the author was trying to get past a point in the story that wasn’t fully developed. Sometimes we have to just blab for a bit to get to the next point…
I’m glad you give full permission to not feel pressured to do this enormous sprint, as I’ve been faced with several authors who suffered their perceived ‘failure’ in this endeavor.
As a ‘percolator’ writer, I tend to throw ingredients into the brain-pot and let them simmer, and at some point they boil over and I may write for hours and hours without a break. [giant mind zit emptied] And if I push or get too anxious to write, the broth/brew either tastes awful or burns.
Your points about creative wounds are part of my guiding ‘rules’ when editing. Whatever I point out about an author’s manuscript must follow certain rules. I must identify the issue, explain clearly why it’s an issue, present alternative solutions or examples. If I feel part of my reaction to their material is hindered or affected by personal preferences, I always mention that, with the disclaimer that my view could also represent the view of other potential readers.
I hope many writers see this post and give pause to consider their reasons for participating in NaNoWriMo this year and go into this event with strong confidence in those reasons.
Thanks for your positive sharing, as always, Anne.
Maria D’Marco
TigerXGlobal
Maria–I think a professional editor like you has probably learned how to deliver criticism with plenty of empathy, so wounds like the ones I’m talking about won’t happen with most pros. I know that editing can be a tightrope walk. Especially when you’re dealing with people just coming off NaNo, who may not be used to getting a real edit.
NaNo is great for people who do have the time to devote and have the right temperament. Feeling like a failure is not going to help anybody.
I can imagine that some of those December manuscripts will have a lot of “back the drawing board” bits. Good luck!
This was a beautiful post. Now I’m thinking I should participate in NaNoWriMo this year. I was previously on the fence about it….
Lydia–If you have blocks that may be from creative wounds, NaNo might be just the thing to break through and overcome them! Best of luck!