by Ruth Harris
My encounters with reader mail go back a long way. My first job as a very young editor at Bantam included slogging through the slush pile and answering reader mail. No internet or email those days. Everything was done the old fashioned way — by hand.
I’ve written before about my adventures in the slush pile.
Reader mail was an entirely different learning curve. Generic mail received a polite form letter thanking the sender for his/her interest. Letters from readers wanting to contact writers were forwarded to the writer’s agent who would take it from there.
We received quite a bit of mail from prisoners whose return address included the name of the prison and the prisoner number. Without omnipresent TV and certainly no WIFI, reading was their main source of diversion. I responded via the usual form letter thanking them for their interest, and, when possible, answering specific questions.
There was occasionally a giddy side to reader mail.
Mrs. Myers Opines.
At a certain point a genre we’ll refer to as Plantation Gothic was popular. Set on plantations (obviously) in the deep south, complete with Spanish moss, imposing manor houses, spoiled aristocrats, devoted, wise maids, and handsome, sinewy field hands, these stories focused on ominous goings on and, for those days, a bit of spicy sex.
Plantation Gothics were a reliable way for beginning writers to learn the craft and the business, and for mid-list writers to make a living. Authors who could write them quickly did well. That genre and its authors developed their fans — a certain Mrs. Myers most definitely not among them.
She expressed her displeasure in a hand-written screed accusing the author (everyone used pen names) of single-handedly destroying the moral fiber of the nation. She blamed him for short skirts, teen-age pregnancy, and the appalling spread of profanity.
Also, she objected to his disgusting language — citing examples, of course — and the lewd behavior of those snooty, immoral aristocrats and the field hands who could not control their base impulses the way decent, god-fearing people did. She accused him of doing Satan’s work and informed him that, as a consequence, he would surely be condemned to burn in the hottest regions of hell for all eternity.
The author, enchanted by Mrs. Myers’ feverish words, Xeroxed the letter and repurposed her epic into party invitations. We enjoyed an annual “Mrs. Myers party” for several years — or, most likely, until Plantation Gothic cooled down and went the way of the vintage nurse romances. [“Will beautiful nurse Nancy marry rich, handsome Doctor Elliott?”]
Uhhhh. What?
My revived interest in reader mail came about due to a recent communication from a dissatisfied reader who accused me of logical lapses in Park Avenue Blondes in a semi-coherent, oddly punctuated email. Fair enough, I guess.
Except that she was wrong about every alleged “lapse.”
I answered politely pointing out her errors, and wondered if she would launch another attack but, so far, silence.
I wonder: what caused her to feel the need to inform me of mistakes I hadn’t made? Was she confusing me with some other writer or Park Avenue Blondes with some other book? Was she off her meds? Maybe Covid lockdown was getting to her? Did she have Alzheimer’s? A fight with her husband/kid/best friend and needed to unleash her anger at someone, anyone? Or was she hitting the booze, and was she drunk?
I don’t know and never will, but I’m not the only writer on the receiving end of a reader’s discontent. According to a friend who writes trad-pubbed historical romance, authors on her private FB group have been getting really nasty comments on their Facebook ad posts. Heavier drinking during Covid times was among the possible reasons cited.
Fabulous Food and Fake Passports.
Khaled Taleb author of bestselling spy thrillers, tells me: “Sometimes, I post pictures of food I cooked or cakes I’ve baked with my readers and they reciprocate by sharing their recipes with me.
“I’ve asked them for advice about many things from learning how to play a guitar to the idea of keeping a beard. I was surprised how many people share their thoughts with me.
“However, I did get a strange message from someone in Singapore who asked if I had contacts with fake passport makers since I was in this “line of business.”
“Apparently if you write spy thrillers, you are expected to be in the know.
“I replied that my knowledge of the world of espionage lies strictly in the realm of fiction.”
Comments from the Peanut Gallery.
A prominent romance writer recently received this gem:
“I have read a number of your books over the years and just finished Bestselling Romance Title. I just thought I’d mention that a few of your books, off and on, have annoyed me greatly. Your latest book, for example centered on Percival’s need to protect Amanda. However, his opposition to her activities was so overdone, one felt like dropping him over the side of a cliff throughout much of the story. In my opinion, fewer arguments and more storyline would have made the book far more enjoyable to read.”
This author was not enchanted.
Rotten Reviews and Drive-by Shootings.
There’s the “fan” who sends you a link to a negative review on some obscure website.
Oh, yes! Thank you very much. Not.
Or “readers” who contact you with a sob story and ask for a free book.
Or money.
Because, of course, writers are rich and are always looking for something worthwhile to do with their overflowing bank accounts.
Sue Coletta contributed this doozy:
“In October a reader messaged me on Facebook. She’s bought every book I’ve ever written, so of course I assumed this would be a pleasant conversation. Instead, she says, “I’m cleaning out my bookshelves and, as you know, I’ve bought all your books at signings over the years. So, I was wondering if you’d like to buy them back for half price. After all, they are YOUR books. And with the extra money I could buy your new one.”
After the initial shock, I thought maybe she was having financial difficulty due to Covid, so I offered to give her Pretty Evil New England as a gift.
“Oh, no,” she says. “You misunderstood. We’re getting ready to head south to our Florida home and I’m just trying to reduce our clutter. Would you mind if I sold them on Facebook?”
I told her not to tag me. She wasn’t getting the message, so I finally said, “Look. I am running a business. We are talking about my work, my products, my blood, sweat, and tears. If you want to sell the paperbacks I signed for you, go for it, but I am not going to help you do it.”
I had to refrain from adding, “I would love to own a summer house and winter house, you spoiled bitch.”
“But I refrained…barely.” 
️️️.
On the other hand, Debbie Burke tells a heartwarming reader email story:
It’s about an email from a regular reader of The Kill Zone who emailed her after she wrote about designing a cover for an upcoming book. He wrote (paraphrasing): “I love your posts and have learned so much from them. So I hope you won’t take offense but your new cover looks amateurish. I’d like to give you the attached cover I designed to say thanks for all you’ve taught me.”
“His cover was stunning and I thanked him profusely. I figured he must design covers professionally and asked him for his prices b/c I wanted to redo the rest of my covers. Next thing I know, he sent me beautiful covers for all four books and refused to accept payment. He finally agreed to send me his novel to edit when he finishes it.”
Such is the generosity of the writing fellowship I’m fortunate to be part of.
They Hate the Ending.
Anne told me that one reader of The Best Revenge let her know she was furious Camilla ended up marrying the rakish Jonathan instead of her best friend Plantagenet. The fact Plantagenet was gay didn’t seem an impediment to her idea of marital bliss.
The ever-worldly French have a word(s) for it: mariage blanc, but the reader didn’t mention this. So, whatevs.
And then, Anne continues, there are the people who give her medical advice. They’ve found some miraculous cure like standing on your head for 10 minutes a day that will solve all her medical issues. All very kind of course, but not terribly helpful.
They Hate the Beginning.
An author of mysteries with a paranormal touch emailed me to say that one reader wrote to complain that the opening chapter didn’t “feel the same” as the rest of the book, and that the tone was different.
“The reader loved the rest of the book, but said I should “trust myself more next time” when writing the first chapter, and then gave me some tips on how to do that. (As far as I know the reader wasn’t a writer or editor.)
“BUT here’s the kicker: it wasn’t really a first chapter. It was more of a prologue—and the point was to make the tone different from the rest of the book.
It’s made clear in the opening chapter that an evil force momentarily takes over the protagonist. So I guess the reader’s email was proof I’d achieved what I wanted to!”
What Book did they Read?
Someone once said that the book the writer writes isn’t the book the reader reads.
Really?
Yep.
We’ve got mail to prove it. 🙂
by Ruth Harris (@RuthHarrisBooks) January 31, 2021
***
Of course we love to hear from readers. Even the offbeat stuff. It’s great that email and social media allow us to communicate easily with fans. But this is the moment for writers to vent! Authors, do you get head-scratching emails from readers? Had any fun communications lately? What was the most outrageous comment you got from a reader? Or the nicest?
BOOK OF THE WEEK
Park Avenue Blondes
For fans of Nora Ephron—Women’s Fiction Meets Cozy Mystery in the Big Apple.
Available at Amazon, Kobo, GooglePlay, iBooks, and Nook
From a snooty charity gala to a blizzard at a Russian army barracks, fashion editor Blake Weston, and NYPD cop, Ralph Marino, her handsome, sexy husband, must work together to solve the murder of a Wall Street Midas.
But who did it?
Renay Porter, a Park Avenue Blonde with Walmart roots, says she wants a divorce from her super-rich husband, but wouldn’t murder be easier — and more profitable?
Muffy Astor, a Park Avenue Blonde with a North Shore pedigree knows — and tells — everything about everyone. Or does she?
Cynthia Blair, a Park Avenue Blonde with oodles of money, knew her husband was a fortune hunter when she married him, but now she’s stuck with him — and a Vuitton bag containing a blood-soaked shirt.
Can Blake’s snark, brains, and pepper spray catch the killer? Or will she be the next victim? And what will Ralph say when she plays sleuth?
“A refreshing escape to the 1980s with two fun, smart and savvy globe-trotting women sleuths. Perfect entertainment!” —Anne R. Allen, author of the bestselling Camilla Randall Mysteries.
“This cozy mystery is a wry and witty romp through the NYC world of socialites, financiers, fashionistas, the publishing industry, and even a literary drug smuggler. A fun read!” —Debbie Burke, award-winning author of the Tawny Lindholm Thrillers with a Heart.
***
Ha!
I suppose everyone’s entitled to their opinion. Or perhaps these days, everyone’s just entitled.
CS—LOL
Yes indeed. “The age of entitlement.” Have you ever considered a career as a philosopher?
Terrific, Ruth! I really enjoyed the full spectrum of responses you pulled together- had to keep reminding myself that they did not all happen to you!
But the good with the bad, the funny and strange, was very heart-warming, nice read!
Will—Thank you for the complimentary words! The authors gave me such fabulous material, it was a fun post to write. 😉
Holy moly! People are nuts. Not sure Ms. Burke got a deal on those book covers, if she ended up having to edit the creator’s book… LOL
Oh, DD, how *can* you be so cynical? lol
And, yes, “nuts” is the word. Just ask anyone who ever worked retail or waited tables. 😉
Good Sunday morning, Ruth and Anne. Yeah, you never know what shows up in a writer’s mailbox. My WIP is a series based on true crime stories. A recent release is about a body found beside a rural road with a bullet in him. Turns out (Spoiler Alert) the guy was accidentally shot and died and the bunch of goons he was with took him out and dumped him. It was an amazing investigation process to figure out who he was and what truly happened – that’s what the story was about.
Well, I got this snooty e-letter from a reader telling me how disappointed she was in the ending. She expected the victim to be murdered, and how she felt totally ripped-off when it was all an unfortunate accident compounded by bad judgment. She ended by telling me to change the ending (of a true story) to a murder or pull the book. At least that’s not as bad as the nut-job who used to send me emailed death threats.
Garry—This is another gem to go under “They hate the ending.” Thanks! Nothing a writer loves more than being told how to do the job/write the story. Seriously, what *are* they thinking?
But I suppose it *is* better than death threats. Aaaargh.
I think Sue’s story still tops them all. 🙂
OMG… to describe a writer’s signed copies as clutter is so painful. ???? I don’t ever want to hear that about my book, please.
I felt hurt, a few days ago, when I was unfollowed by someone on Twitter with whom I had chatted SO much, as she’d reasoned it with: I was culling a few people I followed.
I took it personal. And I’d take it personal about my book, too.
The Florida woman sounds truly awful! She doesn’t deserve your new book, nor any signed one. Or maybe you’ll sign the new one: “To the spoiled bitch”.
Katja—Sorry you experienced this. Of course it hurt, you were rejected and she sounds especially clueless. Perhaps in retrospect, you won’t consider it such a great loss.
Love your idea for an inscription! It’s the least she deserves.
This was such a terrific post. Thoroughly enjoyable. Some of that mail really was amazing. How wonderful the reader who decided to design four covers for Debbie Bourke. And how awful the reader who wanted to sell Sue Coletta’s books for half-price on the Internet. Well, it truly does take all kinds . .
Thanks, Elizabeth. Happy to hear you enjoyed the post. 🙂
Yes, indeed, it *does* take all kinds. Unfortunately, writers can and will hear from them! At the least, it gives us fodder for even more and delicious ideas for our villains and baddies! And for the good guys and gals, too!
Buy back the autographed copies? Sometimes you have to wonder what goes through people’s minds.
I’ve gotten ones with people pointing out a typo. And one asking for a free book. (Which I did not give.)
Alex—I *did* say it was a “doozy.” Or as we also say here in the Big Apple, chutzpah.
I actually like them to point on typos in emails. Much better than blasting you with a one-star review for a single typo. (Don’t ask me if that ever happens. LOL)
Yeah, sure a free book. Please! Good for you.
Hi, Ruth,
This had me laughing. One must wonder why Mrs. Myers read the books in the first place if she hated them so!
A friend my writing group reported seeing a book where the reviewer complained that there were ghosts in the book. The title had the word ghost. There was a ghost in the cover. It mentioned ghosts in the blurb. Dude, what didn’t you understand about that?
Hi Linda—LOL Literally! I guess some how, some way the concept of ghosts just passed that reviewer by. Incredible! But not at all. Not really.
I wonder what people who work in call centers hear? There must be a great story there about dealing with the confused, clueless public. (Of whom I admit I am sometimes one, esp when it comes to dealing with tech.) 🙁
This reminds me of the cartoon where the old woman is telling her friend about the obscene phone call she received: “And for over fifteen minutes this man recited the most disgusting and horrible things…”
Fred— Thanks and LOL. Reminds me of the classic Joan Rivers bit: She gets an obscene phone call. Says: “Hang on while I get a cigarette.”
Hi Ruth,
Thanks for including my cover art experience. I share that story whenever I give a workshop and it still chokes me up. With a few notable exceptions, the people I’ve met in the writing community are generous, encouraging folks.
I’ve also been extraordinarily lucky with reader feedback–the nutcases haven’t found me yet!
But, since I left FB, I kinda miss all those dreamy-looking military doctor widowers who wanted so desperately to be my friends. But c’est la vie.
D.D. Syrdal, I’ve edited some truly stinko books in the past so I know what you mean. I’m glad to say, the excerpts I’ve read so far from my cover artist are well worth the effort and definitely won’t be heavy lifting!
Debbie—How could I NOT share your fabulous story! It’s just terrific and you tell it so well!
Yeah, about those dreamy-looking military doctor widowers, you think any of them might be a bit on the nutty side? Maybe you dodged a bullet and didn’t even know it! 😉
Gosh, Ruth, I was sure they were all 100% legit…until you burst my bubble. 😉
Debbie–Funny you should mention those surgeondoctor generals who are always romancing us on Facebook. 🙂 I had four charming catfish request my friendship just this morning. All with the typical two first names. Henry Jack, Nigel Gareth, George Sam, and David Pat. They all used photos of white middle aged guys in the military. Widowed, of course. 🙂 Their language skills are always strangely like ESL for people who say they were born in the US. I’m writing a novel right now about a woman who is scammed by a FB catfish named “Brown David Jack.”
Anne, can’t wait to read about your catfish. Knowing your sense of humor, it will have me rolling on the floor.
I love the reader who wanted you to buy back your books for 1/2 price. But since the past four years, I am convinced that there are real true crazy people walking about. Hope you are well, Beth
Beth—Thanks for stopping by to comment. Sue Coletta—neither Anne nor I—was the lucky author who received that fab offer!
For sure we’re living in crazy-town. Covid definitely doesn’t help, either!
I love this…but I’m not sharing it out as I normally would because readers take offense and respond in droves every time a writer mentions odd or awful reader behavior. Sorry Anne! This is one battle we’ll never win.
Hi Anne, Ruth here. 🙂 Thanks for the kind words!
I totally understand your reluctance to share. Reminds me of the old saying: “Don’t kick a sleeping dog.” lol
The best reader email I ever had was also repeated as a review on Amazon in the early days. The book was Rowena through the Wall, and the reader told me (and everyone) that it was SMUT! It was smut in the beginning, and smut through and through to the very end. I was devastated, until someone pointed out that “this reader had actually read the book until the very end, and so it must have been damned good smut. Plus, watch your sales.” Sure enough, after that indictment, my sales went up!!
Melodie—Yep. That’s how we learn what sells books. High quality SMUT + outraged readers. lol
Sort of remind me of Mrs. Meyers. 😉
Melodie–Isn’t it amazing how a bad review can boost sales? Especially one that complains about bad language and smut. I got swarmed by some GR bullies about 5 years ago, and my book jumped into the Amazon top 20. Thank you, bullies! BTW, I LOVE your Rowena books. I’m amazed at how many people are unable to get the concept of satire.
Last week a colleague was sent “improved” cover art for a long-published book she indie published. It was so much improved, the would-be artist spelled my friend’s name wrong. A great advert for their skills! My books set in my kingdom of Carramer draw a lot of mail incuding from a French person who objected to me “dirtying” his name by using it in a book.I referred him to the “any resemblance is coincidental” disclaimer and heard no more. . .
valerieparv—Great story! Thanks. But what do you wanna bet that at some time in the annals of publishing, an author’s name was misspelled on the cover and went out to bookstores anyway? Comes under Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong, *will* go wrong.
Your response to the offended rando French person was perfect! Congratulations!
This post was funny in a dark humor type of way. Sadly, this was not fiction but real mail from real people. Still enjoyable to read, Ruth.
Conversely, I am sure you also get lots of positive fan mail.
Ingmar—Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it. I live in NYC. Dark humor is our MO. 😉
Also an excellent point of departure for authors who tend to be on the receiving end of misunderstanding / hostility / outrage when all we want to do is write good books and find readers who appreciate us.
Many, many thanks for this grouping of letters and author responses. I didn’t start with a pseudonym and that has burned me a few times. I have had the random hate mail, as well as some nice fan fail, and worse, I had a crazy guy at a book signing tell me I would die in a very specific way during the apocalypse because I wrote a Christian Fantasy trilogy, which apparently was a work of evil in his mind. Yeah. I write under my name AND a pen name now, with plans to move over more and more to the pen name…
Tyrean—thanks for the kind words. Lots of crazies out there for sure. Crazy—but also scary. Hope he wasn’t *too* nutty. No wonder you’re moving toward a pen name!
Stunning, hilarious and and scary, nerve and mentality of some people. But quite an enjoyable read, lol. Thanks Ruth 🙂
Thanks, dg. Amazing isn’t it? Truth is definitely stranger than fiction—and who would know that better than fiction writers? Lol
Lol truth! 🙂
Wow. Some crazies there.
tracikenworth—Wow is right! Lotsa whack jobs out there—and we’ve got mail to prove it! Also lotsa nice folks and we hear from them, too. Encourages us to keep on keeping on. 🙂
I appreciated this column as it struck a chord. I write a modern mystery series with local settings in South Kingstown, RI. My very first “review” on Amazon was from a woman named Jackie: “I didn’t like this book. Travelogue of North Kingstown.” Wrong genre, wrong town. I guessed correctly that it was my husband’s ex-sister-in-law, Jackie, an avid Amazon shopper, who just wanted to be mean. But it cost her $15.00 for a book she obviously didn’t bother to read. Five books later and the review is still there. Gotta love Amazon’s idea of a valid book review!
Claremary P. Sweeney—Aaaargh! Cant tell up from down, north from south but still feels the need to add their $.02? Jeeeez. Sorry you have to deal with this, but thanks for stopping by and adding your story. Other writers will definitely empathize. 🙂
Great post, Ruth! I can add one more doozy that I received two weeks ago. This one really concerned me. If she murdered someone using my murder methods meant for writers, I’d have a hard time living with that.
Check it out (unedited):
Hello Sue,
I’ve read your murder ideas you posted like 6 years ago. You are so talented!!! Actually I don’t want to murder anybody right at the moment, but I’m really curious to know some natural ways, who knows, I might need them in my future. But I want it to be natural cause, because it’s way difficult to be tracked.
I’m only 17 and I have such a dark mind, this because I’ve watched a lot of crime movies. I’m afraid when I think about my future. It looks right but it doesn’t feel like it. Also, there were times when I felt suicidial. Can you help me with this?
I would be so grateful if you email me “60 Ways To Murder Your Fictional Characters”
I couldn’t find it.
I have this last question:”Can blood be detected with luminol after it has been used clorox bleach?
***
Obviously, I didn’t send her the book or reply, but I did forward her email to the authorities. Hopefully, she’ll get the help she needs.
Sue—Thanks for stopping by but what an awful story. Her email is so sad and also scary. I agree with you and hope this young woman will get the help and support she so obviously needs.
She found me on Twitter a few days later and sent even more concerning private messages, all revolving around murder. Different name, different age (her photo looks like she’s in her 30’s, if it’s real), but identical phrases and similar wording. I finally had to block her. She worries me.
Sue—Sounds like dangerous territory. Hope your block is effective and that you never hear from her again. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this.
How can you highlight a “Book of the Week” that has logical lapses?! 😉 This is great fun. Well, for me as a reader. The subject, presented well, not so funny. Though I do love the cover story. (See what I did there?) Thanks, Ruth. Cheers!
Thanks, Sarah!—Glad you enjoyed the “fun” part and Debbie’s wonderful cover story. As to the rest—sat to say—comes with the territory. 🙁
I haven’t sold a lot of books. But unknown to me a FB friend (we “met” through a mutual interest in a sports team), a teacher, bought one of my books. He posted a review on my FB page:
“I read between 10-20 books each year, and if this non-fiction/history/biography guy reads fiction at all, it’s usually from the “classics” or “literature” list in my head. Until now!
Finished Just Lucky and totally dug it! A great read, Fred! Well done! I look forward to catching Bk 2 this summer.
And I’ll keep them displayed prominently around the house so I can point them out to visitors and crow, “You want an entertaining read? Try these! Great characters exercising traditional themes with lots of action…yeah, I know the author, too. Great guy! And a Bronco fan!””
It made my day…my month, really. I forwarded that to my publisher and it made hers, too.
Sadly, my friend died unexpectedly about six months later. Also sadly, my small indy publisher was forced to close up shop due to the pandemic. Now I’m struggling to self-publish those two novels. I’m whatever the opposite of “tech savvy” is.
One last note: I asked Anne for advise on using lyric quotes for chapter openings on these, and she advised against it and told me why. I took her advice. So, Anne, thanks again.
Fred—Sorry to hear about your friend—and your indy press. Happy, though, about your fabulous review. A great review can make all the difference to a book—and especially to its author!
Anne’s advice is rock solid. Smart of you to pay attention. 🙂
Fred–I’m glad I could help you avoid that hassle. And congrats on your great review. Reviews like that can keep us going for months. It’s so sad your reviewer died so soon. In a weird coincidence, my most enthusiastic reviewer died about 6 months after writing fantastic reviews of several of my books. I do hope writing great reviews isn’t hazardous to one’s health. 🙂
Haha! Who knew the mail could be so entertaining? The nerve of the lady trying to sell your books back to you at half price takes the cake.
By the way, I’ve been blogging for almost two years now but decided to recently pick up The Author Blog to confirm I was on the right track. Great ideas, many of which I was pleasantly surprised to be doing already. I left you a review on Amazon and Goodreads. Thanks for the helpful suggestions.
petespringerauthor—Ruth here…Thanks for the kind words about entertaining readers mail. Tho, not always, as you point, out so entertaining for the author on the receiving end. 🙁
The Author Blog is by my illustrious blog partner, Anne R. Allen. She knows what she’s talking about, and is always well worth listening to. She appreciates your Amazon and GR reviews. Thanks so much!
Fascinating post. Bet those were fascinating days for you!
Rae—Thanks! Glad you found the post interesting. 🙂
I was just a beginner in publishing. Slogging thru reader emails taught me you can’t please everyone, but that some will be delighted and grateful for your efforts. It’s a lesson in perspective that has stayed with me over the years. Grunt work turns out to be *very* educational!