by Ruth Harris
Fake it until you make it. It’s old advice, and for some people it works.
Sometimes.
But what if you’ve made it?
You’ve finished your book (or books), you’ve been published or you self-published. You’ve sold copies, you’ve received checks from your agent, your publisher or from Amazon and iBooks, you’ve been invited to speak at your local bookstore, other writers in your crit group ask you for advice — and you still feel like a faker?
You’re sure someone will spot your con, and expose you for the phony you really are.
- You worry that those one-star reviews are right.
- You’re convinced that the 5-star reviews are a mistake or were really meant for another author or another book.
- You fret that someone — your editor, your roommate, your ex — will reveal you as the fraud you deep down think you are?
- You’re stressed out by the thought that you won’t live up to those five-star reviews.
- Or that more — worse, and even more vicious — one-stars are on the way.
- You’re convinced that the talk you’ve planned for the bookstore is so boring that you turn down the invitation.
- That bestseller list you’re on? You downplay it is as nothing but dumb luck. Or you tell yourself — and your friends — there weren’t that many new books published that week.
- Or even that the position on the bestseller list is a one-time fluke that will never happen again.
- You’ve priced your book at 0.99 but you’re afraid to raise the price because you’re certain no one will spend a penny more for your book.
Something’s wrong, but what is it?
You’re published or self-published, many people would say you’re successful, but why don’t you feel that way? Why the gnawing anxiety that you’ll be exposed at any moment? Why do you feel like a fraud even though there’s external proof of your success?
Why, instead of feeling at ease with your accomplishments, do you attribute your them to random accident, dumb luck or even the outcome of the Phillies game?
Psychologists have identified this irrational response as Impostor Syndrome, which they define as a pervasive feeling of self-doubt, insecurity, or fraudulence despite credible evidence to the contrary.
They’ve defined three tip-offs.
1) I’m a fake and pretty soon everyone will find out.
You worry that you’re not a “real writer” and you’re afraid you will not live up to expectations or the standards you have set for yourself. You fear that your next book won’t be as good as readers expect, and that they will be disappointed and will trash your title, your MC, your plot in a sh*t storm of rotten reviews.
2) I got lucky.
You tell yourself — and others — that your so-called “success” was just a fluke, a one-time, one-in-a-million moon shot that will never happen again. You can’t believe that what you did is real and that when “they” find out, they will take back their praise, that award, that spot on the bestseller list — and your money.
3) “This old thing?”
You can’t take a compliment.
“I loved your book!” your reader says. You think (or reply) “It was nothing.” Or you shrug off the praise, “Anyone could have written it.”
Dr. Carol Dweck, Professor of Psychology at Stanford, traces this syndrome to a common parenting mistake. Well-meaning parents often praise kids with comments like “You’re so smart!” or “You’re so pretty!”
These labels, while intended to be complimentary, can backfire. “You’re smart” implies that “smart” is a you’ve-got-it-or-you-don’t characteristic, an accident of birth.
As a consequence, whenever “the smart one” makes a mistake, gets a B instead of an A, the overpraised child questions her/himself.
If I got a B on this tough history exam, then maybe I’m not so smart. Mom and Dad must be wrong.”
Which means that their “praise” is wrong — thus establishing the basis for Impostor Syndrome in later life.
It’s not just you.
Accomplished and famous people can fall prey to self-doubt. Screenwriter Chuck Lorre, best-selling writer Neil Gaiman, best-selling writer John Green, U.S. Supreme Court justice Sonia Sotomayor, and actress Emma Watson have all reportedly fallen prey to Impostor Syndrome.
Best selling novelist Maya Angelou:
I have written 11 books but each time I think ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’”
Cheryl Strayed:
Writing is always full of self-doubt, but the first book Torch is really full of self-doubt, and it was much more of a struggle to keep the faith. By the time I wrote Wild, I was familiar with that feeling of doubt and self-loathing, so I just thought, ‘Okay, this is how it feels to write a book.’”
Sheryl Sandberg, author of the bestseller, Lean In:
Every time I was called on in class, I was sure that I was about to embarrass myself. Every time I took a test, I was sure that it had gone badly. And every time I didn’t embarrass myself—or even excelled—I believed that I had fooled everyone yet again. One day soon, the jig would be up … “
Film actor, Tom Hanks:
No matter what we’ve done, there comes a point where you think, ‘How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?’”
7 negative real-life consequences of Impostor Syndrome.
In its most basic form, imposter syndrome results in your doubting yourself and finding yourself trapped in a constant, exhausting internal struggle between your desire for achievement and your efforts not to be “found out.”
The consequence is that you can get stuck in a cruel cycle of self-sabotage.
1) In its most acute form, Impostor Syndrome can result in a complete refusal to engage creatively. You feel blocked and unable to write.
2) In another variation, impostor syndrome may cause you to get stuck in an endless, destructive up-and-down mood swing in which self-confidence is replaced by self-doubt and so on. You feel exhausted, burned out and feel trapped, unable to move on.
3) Every book, every good review, every word of praise can bouy your ego — or cause you to dread that others will discover the “real truth” about your abilities.
4) Every bad review causes you to feel as if your con has been discovered and you fear public humiliation.
5) Your insecurity and fear of being “exposed” causes you to strive for perfection. You edit perfectly good work over and over. And over again because it’s never “good enough.”
6) You trudge from beta readers to your crit group to your editor. Each makes different — and conflicting — comments. The result is that you don’t know who — or what — to believe. You no longer know what to do or where to begin, and your confusion ends in inhibition that prevents from you finishing (or starting) your novel or story.
7) You miss opportunities because you feel you won’t measure up. You’re invited to speak at a writers’ conference but turn down the invitation, thus missing the chance to meet other writers you admire — or who might admire you.
7 constructive ways to deal with Impostor Syndrome.
Impostor Syndrome doesn’t just afflict writers. It lurks everywhere from fancy executive suites to honor roll students to the 100 most successful lists. It’s rarely discussed because each “winner,” fearing discovery, feels s/he is keeping a shameful and embarrassing secret.
You might feel alone and isolated but don’t forget that feeling like an impostor doesn’t necessarily have much to do with what you have or haven’t done. It has to do with how you feel.
Feelings are usually fleeting and there are ways to help yourself escape the clutches of dreaded Impostor Syndrome.
1) Fess up.
Admit your doubts to a trusted friend, spouse or roommate. Someone with an outside perspective can very often offer a bracing jolt of balance and reality.
2) Read your 5-star reviews.
You’ve written the book/short story/novella.
People have read it and (quite a few of them) love it and understand exactly what you were trying to say.
They “get” you and their praise can help soothe the raw edges of self-doubt.
3) Read your 1-star reviews.
The one-star reviews offer a bracing counter-narrative that can help you keep it real. Sometimes, someone who didn’t like your book, will even offer helpful comments.
If their comments resonate with something you yourself have been wondering about, use their words to improve.
4) Get help from another writer.
Struggling with the learning curve?
Don’t know what you’re doing?
Feel like a dope?
A loser?
Ask another writer. They might have struggled with some of the same issues that are undermining you and can provide helpful perspective.
5) Help another writer.
You’ll be surprised by how much you know. When you reach out to help another writer who might complain of being blocked or stuck or unsure, you gain perspective and can even realize how far you’ve come.
6) Give yourself permission to stink it up.
Don’t forget that if you don’t write it, you can’t fix it.
The author Anne Lamott titles every new work “Sh*tty First Draft.”
Ernest Hemingway said “All first drafts are shit.”
And you think you’re better than they are? C’mon. Get real.
7) If you are seriously struggling with Impostor Syndrome—
If your self-doubt lasts over a lengthy period of time, or if it is crippling your energy or creativity, sessions with a therapist/counsellor/coach can make a significant difference.
It’s your career. It’s worth the investment.
The Up Side of Impostor Syndrome.
What? There’s an upside?
Yes.
A sane, healthy mid-point exists between being stalled out by Impostor Syndrome and obnoxious, raging egomania. Authentic modesty keeps you real — and productive.
A certain degree of Impostor Syndrome can be the necessary spur that motivates you to work harder and get better.
It can give you the energy to try again — even if you’re on the umpteenth effin draft of the damn chapter and you still can’t get it right. (Until you do.)
Impostor Syndrome — call it discontent — can propel you toward trying harder or trying again — persistent effort that might reveal ability even you didn’t know you had.
Or as writer Molly Fischer puts it, “Impostor Syndrome gets a bad rap. It’s the flame that burns beneath my ass, the constant low hum of anxiety forcing me to do stuff before anyone notices all the stuff I have not done and feel pretty certain I can’t do.”
What about you, Scriveners? Have you ever experienced Impostor Syndrome? Did you ever sabotage yourself because of its influence? What did you do to right-size Impostor Syndrome?
“Bestsellers like *Decades,*
*Husbands And Lovers*
and
*Love And Money*
have established Ruth Harris as one of the frankest, most stylish, and most compelling voices in contemporary fiction.” —Chicago Sun-Times
Thank you for sharing this. It resonates with how I feel a lot of times…most of the time in fact????
Smitha—Thank you for taking the time to comment. Anne and I appreciate our readers!
I hope my post will help you find some ways to deal creatively with the undermining aspects of Impostor Syndrome.
Thank you for this helpful article, Ruth.
When I declared I wanted to become an author, I suffered from Impostor Syndrome–how dare I even think that. Me? I’m not worthy. I finally kicked that thought to the curb and wrote and published my first book. No more Impostor Syndrome…
Nope. There it is again. And again. And again. For years it has followed me.
I’m beginning to think that it may have something to do with being fearful of growth, of wanting to stay in my comfortable nest.
Thankfully, along with this lengthy relationship with Impostor Syndrome I’ve also developed ways to cope. Thank you for including ways to deal with Impostor Syndrome in this article.
Leanne—I’m happy to hear you’ve developed ways to deal with Impostor Syndrome. It’s so destructive—and unfortunately—so prevalent!
Great post Ruth! I suspect I’ve spent most of my time on that egomaniac side of the divide, and you point out it could be responsible for a lack of production in my writing. I DON’T feel the optimum little kick of pressure. Something to think about.
OTOH, I’ve been a ham/amateur actor for years so I think I had some previous exposure to the notion of “the real me” and all that. So I’m in the odd position of not having much fame from my writing but I’m all over the library talks-end of the business!
All the best to Anne if you hear from her. We’re hoping for good news soon.
Will—Interesting to hear that there’s a downside to the egomaniac edge that results in a lack of productivity. Makes me think — again! — of how difficult writing is. Even for egomaniacs! Aaaargh!
Anne is on her way home and working on recovery. We’re all waiting for her return to health. And to the blog. 🙂
Very insightful piece, Ruth. Thanks for sharing this. I think Imposter Syndrome affects a lot of writers – so much so that many don’t have the confidence to start a project let alone finish it and go on to the next.
I’m going to name drop here. Adam Croft is one of the world’s top indie authors in the crime thriller genre. He openly admits he suffers from chronic Imposter Syndrome and lives in constant fear that he’s going to be “found out”. Adam goes into the subject quite deeply in his Indie Author Mindset book.
Garry—Thanks. Adam Croft? Wow! Thanks for pointing this out. 🙂
Impostor Syndrome seems as omnipresent in writers as…acne in teenagers, poison ivy in summer and down jackets in winter!
Yes, use the low-star reviews to make the next book better.
I worried I got lucky with the first book. But each one I’ve written has gotten better, so I know I’m not a fluke.
Alex—Thanks for sharing such a sane and sensible reaction to low-star reviews. And, no, you’re definitely not a fluke!
I could relate to this post, Ruth. At the beginning of every book I’m convinced that I’ve lost my mojo and I’ll never be able to outdo my previous work. During this time, my husband pays no attention to my constant complaints, and says, “Talk to me about it after you get farther along in the story.” By the middle of the WIP, I fluctuate between “I suck” and “hey, this isn’t bad.” When I near the three-quarter mark, I finally convince myself that maybe I can hold my own. Every damn book, same process, and it never gets any easier. *sigh*
Please give Anne my best! I hope she’s on the road to recovery. <3
Anne is on her way home and working on recovery. We’re all waiting for her return to health. And to the blog. 🙂
Sue—LOL
Besides, whoever said living with a writer is easy? Oh? No one. Not once in recorded history. 😉
Great stuff, Ruth.
These are all such salient points, but I’d like to take a minute to bow to #5)
Help another writer.
You don’t even need to have succeeded to do this. And it doesn’t even have to involve writing. One of the most fulfilling things I find when it comes to writing conferences is helping out as a volunteer. I get to hang with interesting people, often doing menial things like stuffing folders or envelopes, hanging signs, delivering water bottles, introducing speakers, helping with contests — all things that need doing. And the sheer joy in helping a frenzied conference attendee find the bathroom? Unparalleled. When we help other folks, it’s a better world for everyone.
CS—Thanks. And thanks especially for pointing out that doing the menial stuff can be extremely rewarding. Plus, let’s hear it for the joy of finding a bathroom. We’ve all been there and the person who helps is the rescuer/savior/divinity at times of dire need!
Excellent post, Ruth! Esp. #5.
I found once I quit muddling around inside my own head and reached out to help others, impostor syndrome faded into the background.
You realize you really do know a LOT more than you think you do. You stop worrying about your insecurities b/c you’re busy finding the best way to share with someone who needs YOUR help.
It’s also a great way to honor the writers who’ve taken the time to help me. You and Anne count among my mentors!
Hugs and best wishes to Anne!
Debbie—Thanks! Anne and I have been-there-done-that thru all the writer stages, setbacks, triumphs and struggles. As we like to say, We made the mistakes so you don’t have to.
A great example is your own post on Write Tight. For those who haven’t read it yet, here’s the link— https://annerallen.com/2020/08/12-tips-to-write-tight/
Aw, thanks, Ruth! It was my privilege to be your guest.
Wonderful post, Ruth — and your neutral position makes it easier to read and accept and learn.
I had a tailor-made IS suit as a kid and it’s not left me. But after my first published story as a teen, I decided that, though it was a part of my self-view, it was a bunch of hogwash. The tough part is that it seems to take 5 attagirls to negate 1 you.r.crapploa… :o)
I really enjoy your posts — so balanced, tough without judgement…
Hope Anne is sleeping in her own bed soon — virtual party time when she gets back!
Maria—Thanks so much for the very kind words. Anne and I try to keep it real and down to earth. There is such a miasma of BS around the world of writers and writing making a difficult endeavor even more difficult.
Yeah. Sounds about right—”5 attagirls to negate 1 you.r.crapploa.” Excellent!
Thanks for another thought-provoking post, Ruth. Mentoring emerging writers. I learned long ago that it generally afflicts the most talented, who can take comfort from the knowledge. I feel we write to find out IF we can do it, regardless of how many books we’ve written or accolades received.
valerieparv—Thanks for the comment and the excellent point. I suspect that IS afflicts the most talented because the most talented have the highest expectations for themselves and their books. Problem is built into the reality that no matter how good the book is, it’s never *as good as* the standards they set for themselves.
This is great, Ruth. When one book is finished I am absolutely sure I will not be able to write another one. Totally sure. Then I write the next book and I love it and am so proud of myself. And when I read a great review I think “this person obviously hasn’t read famous author X if she thinks MY book is so great”. And yeah, if I ever “make it” which I hope to some day, I know I’m going to feel it’s a one-off and the next book will fail horribly. I love the suggestions for helping ourselves deal with Imposter Syndrome. Thank you.
Patricia—Thanks. Hope some of the suggestions help. BTW, you’re not the only one! 😉 See Sue Coletta’s comment above.
What timing! I’ve been throwing myself into helping others to fend off imposter syndrome, and wondering why it felt like it was bankrupting me…any unbalance can be draining, and I guess that’s what I’m running into. Quarantine brain and restlessness and powerlessness aren’t helping, for sure! But I’m making baby steps with a WIP and if I just keep my eye on that, my confidence is bound to rebound. 🙂
margaretpinard—Thanks for taking the time to comment. Your confidence about the return of confidence as you continue work on your WiP is impressive and reassuring. Baby steps are steps. Good for you!
For more on writing during Covid, note Anne’s tips about writing during a time of collective grief.
https://annerallen.com/2020/04/write-collective-grief/
Valuable post, Ruth! Imposter Syndrome is one of the reasons why it took me 35 years to get the first of my “grand saga” written. Well, that and life kept getting in the way! Anyway, thank you for shedding some light on the topic. If only I’d known about this in my younger days…
writerjackm—Only 35 years? Congratulations! Seriously. Written is written no matter how or how long.
Good luck with your saga. Now that the first is finished, you’ve proved to yourself that you can do it again.
It took my DH, Michael, 50 years to write about his traumatic experiences during the US H-bomb testing. He explains why here—
https://annerallen.com/?s=Michael+Harris
First, regarding, “Fake it until you make it. It’s old advice, and for some people it works.”
As Brendon Burchard of Experts Academy says, “You can’t fake it until you make it, Besides, if you fake it and make it – you’re still a fake!”
Insofar as impostor syndrome, no problem for me, given that my books have sold over 1,000,000 copies worldwide and continue to sell well. I live by these words:
“Many people have complimented me and I always feel so embarrassed – because they never say enough!”
– Oscar Wilde:
Ernie Zelinski—Congratulations! Thanks for taking the time to comment and for another delightful Oscar Wilde quote.
Yes, I’m waiting to be found out. When I was teaching, I had the same feeling. Why did kids want to be in my class? Was it because they thought they wouldn’t have to work as hard? Since giving up teaching, an ex-pupil said it was because the kids didn’t mess around as much and they learned more.
Now, with 8 books under my belt, I’m still waiting to be found out. Even though the last one came back ‘clean’ from the publisher’s edit, one translated into French and Spanish, another into Portugese and 5 either out as audiobooks or soon to be. And being in the top 50 in their categories. (I told myself there might not be many books in those catagories.)
I think it’s a very human thing to doubt yourself. That’s what pushes us to improve.
V.M.Sang—Thanks for your comment—and sharing your sane, sensible perspective. Self-doubt is part of the human condition and can be destructive and inhibiting. Or, as you say, can be used as a spur to improvement.
With 8 books, it sounds like you’re using your pangs of self-doubt constructively. Yay!
A couple years ago, I was watching a documentary about Lindsey Sterling and at one point she was talking about impostor syndrome and how it hits her every now and that. That really stuck with me because it made me feel less alone knowing that successful people get it too.
Patricia Josephine—Thanks for making an excellent point. Apparently no one is exempt from IS—including Tom Hanks—except maybe raging egomaniacs. And *they* have other, much worse, problems. So we can count ourselves lucky! 😉
My greatest fear is the writers I admire most, you and Anne, will find out the truth about me. That is what keeps me up at nights. 🙂
Kenneth—What!??? You *really* think Anne and I don’t already know? 😉
It’s such a relief to put a name to that debilitating gnawing worry that crawls around and tries to stop the words from flowing. I can only tame that worry by focusing on the next step. Looking around at the big picture means I grind to a halt. Thanks for the tips – they’ll definitely help!
Jemi Fraser—Thanks for your comment. So glad to hear the post helped. It does make a difference to be able to give something a name. When you do, it helps define it and bring it down to size.
Narrowing your focus to the immediate next step is an excellent way to cut IS down to size.
Ruth, great explanation for what I go through as an artist (pencil, oil paint, murals) – always wondering when I will be exposed as a Fake Artist.
I’m also a Typo Psycho – Under “7 negative. . .” on 3) you might want to correct “bouy” to “buoy” (and delete this part of my comment so it doesn’t make you feel embarrassed!)
cabinart — Thanks! Glad to hear the explanation was helpful. According to my research, IS can—and does—pop up almost anywhere so don’t feel it’s just you.
Typos. Meh. Thanks for the correx. 🙂
I’ve always dealt with Impostor Syndrome. I’ve been writing since childhood, have always had a job centered around writing and yet…
I can so identify with the internal struggle and self-sabotage. *cringe* It’s a painful way to live. I help other writers, so have that one down. But I can’t seem to “stink it up” with that shitty first draft. Great list and fab post, as always. 🙂
Sarah—Thanks for the kind words. Except, of course, for the word “cringe” which is so so accurate when it comes to IS. Even when you *know* what you’ve accomplished, it is horribly undermining.
Sorry you’re dealing with this. IS is vicious. Perpetual resistance is called for!
Here’s to Perpetual Resistance!