Rejections hurt. And all writers get them. But you can reduce the number.
by Anne R. Allen
I’ve been perusing some agent sites recently to see if their advice has changed since I was on the query-go-round a couple of decades ago.
But things seem to have remained much the same.
The top reasons for rejections of the query letter itself are perennial:
- Mass querying. (Those auto-reject, whether you’re querying agents, reviewers, or bloggers.)
- Writing to “To Whom it May Concern” or getting the agent’s name or gender wrong.
- Querying by a third party. This can mean either a query service (total waste of money!) or a spouse, child, or parent.
- Querying more than one book. (I used to do that. That was like writing my own rejections.)
- Talking about yourself instead of the book.
- Querying agents who don’t rep your genre.
Or the agent is having a bad day. Or the intern is on vacation. Whatever. We expect our queries to get a few rejections.
But when you’ve passed the first query test and they ask for a partial or even a full manuscript of your novel, our hopes go through the roof. Only to be dashed when the rejections come—often with no explanation except that the book is “not right for us at this time.”
What “not right for us at this time” often means is that your book has one or more of the following problems.
Readers notice these problems too, all you indie authors. Indies have to pay attention to this stuff, too.
1) Inauthentic Voice
Agents say they see a lot of manuscripts with an inappropriate voice for the genre or time period.
This is especially true in YA and MG books. A believable teen/tween voice can be tough to do if you don’t have a handy teen/tween to listen to every day.
But voice can also hit a false note in adult fiction. A pretentious voice turns people off. And an overly chatty one can make your character sound like a dingbat.
Faux-folksy can be off the mark too. Beware dialects and accents, even if they’re your own. They can seem stagey. They’re also hard to read. A lot of agents give a pass to anything written in dialect.
2) Too Many or Too Few Scenes.
Many newbie novels have the wrong balance of scenes to narrative. If you have too few, you have the old telling vs. showing problem. If the author tells the reader about what happened rather than taking us into the scene and letting us feel and hear what’s going on, it’s not a novel. It’s storytelling. A fine art, but not what you want in your manuscript.
On the other hand, some new writers tend to write everything in scenes, like a screenplay (this is what I did when I started.) If most of your story happens in dialogue, you need to do a little more telling and a little less showing.
For more on this, check out my post on “Do Your Characters Talk too Much?”
3) Too Many Characters
This has always been my problem. I love a cast of thousands. I want to give a backstory to every walk-on character from the meter maid to the pizza delivery guy. Probably because of my years in the theater, where we always heard, “There are no small parts. Only small actors.”
Unfortunately, big actors aside, readers don’t want to get emotionally involved with a character they’re never going to see again. I’ve learned that I need to do radical pruning before I let anybody see the manuscript. If the story is too crowded to follow, readers won’t finish and won’t be back.
4) Unsympathetic or Underdeveloped Characters.
“Unsympathetic” is a relative term, I know. A lot of things can make a perfectly “nice” character unsympathetic. In fact perfection often makes readers hate a character. (See my post on “Mary Sue”.) Other things that make a character unsympathetic are whining, passivity, lack of empathy, and self-destructiveness.
But in the era of Gone Girl and The Girl on the Train, we’ve stretched the definition of “sympathetic.” I’m planning a whole blogpost about this for later in the year.
And no matter how great your plot, wooden, stereotyped, or underdeveloped characters can ruin your story. So if your characters don’t feel like real flesh and blood people to you, write them a bio or interview them. Give them some backstory only you have to know about. But you need to give them motivation to do the things you make them do.
5) Inappropriate Language.
Language needs to be appropriate to the genre, period, and age group. One of the main peeves agents talk about about is characters in YA who speak like adults. Or use slang of a generation or two ago in a contemporary setting. And worst of all, historical novels where young people say “whatever” and “like, totally.”
And be very careful with dialects and accents, as I mentioned above. Change spelling as little as possible. And always get a beta-read from somebody who actually speaks that language or dialect. I will always be grateful to Irish humorist Tara Sparling for “weeding out the shamrocks” from the dialogue of reluctant Irish gigolo Conor McDara in the Queen of Staves. (It’s on sale! See below.)
As for swearing and vulgarities–they’re fine in some genres and a no-no in others. Cozies generally have squeaky clean language. Sweet romances, too. But no book should have gratuitous foul language. Make sure the language is appropriate to the character and the setting. Just throwing in stuff for shock value only turns off the reader.
I know it was a popular TV series, but I could never get into the show Deadwood because every single character from the bad hombres to the schoolmarm used an “F” bomb in every sentence. Bombs are powerful. Save them for the right person and situation.
6) Clumsy World-Building
Too much world-building can feel like studying a history book. Yes, I know Tolkien got away with it, but that was 80 years ago. You don’t have to spend all that time telling us why the cities of the green elves are so different from those of the pink elves as your hero passes through them on the road to Mount Gloom. Just give us the highlights.
On the other hand, lack of world-building leaves your reader completely in the dark.
For a great post on how to get your world building right, see fantasy author Will Hahn’s excellent world-building post.
7) Pacing Issues
This is probably the hardest thing for a new novelist to get right. If you’ve got an outline, make sure it adheres to the three-act structure.
If you’re a pantser, your first job in editing should be to map out the book and make sure it fits into that structure. Some authors find it helps to use index cards laid out on a board. I understand Scrivener has a tool that does this for you.
The old saw is that in Act 1, you get a guy up a tree, in Act 2, you throw rocks at him, and in Act 3, you bring him down again.
What happens in a lot of newbie novels is we spend way too much time getting the guy up the tree, and not enough time getting him down again. But if you divide the ms. into three parts, you can see where you need to speed up or slow down.
Introspection is a great way to put on the brakes. So is attention to detail.
If you’re in the middle of a battle scene, you don’t want your characters waxing poetic about the color of the periwinkles in the meadow, or having a flashback to that time she and her family had a picnic in a spot very like this…
On the other hand, when you want to slow down and savor the moment, do give us the welcome details about how her lover’s eyes are the color of periwinkles and how she wants to picnic with him in that idyllic spot because, family picnic…
8) And the Most Common Cause of Rejections of a Full Novel Ms: Plot Issues
These happen when the reader is ambling along with your nice village cozy, and suddenly aliens land on the roof of the quaint B & B. Maybe accompanied by Bonnie Prince Charlie and Amelia Earhart. Don’t try this stuff unless you’re writing satire. And/or you’re the reincarnation of Douglas Adams.
Sometimes the author loses the plot entirely. Literally. They might have lots of great characters and settings, but tension? Totally AWOL. Scene after scene leads nowhere. Remember every scene needs to move the story forward. Have a great scene that doesn’t do that? Save it. Maybe you can expand it into a short story you can use as a freebie to promote the book.
Remember that even though you are in love with all the fun banter, cute character quirks and gorgeous descriptions, the reader is there for the story. Once you drop the ball on story, your reader is gone, girl.
And then there are plot holes. Never-explained solutions to problems. The subplot that got dropped in chapter 15. The character that disappeared after that first date. Ruth Harris wrote a great post on how to fix those plot holes.
Of course, your manuscript may be getting rejections for a lot of reasons that are totally out of your control. Rejections may have nothing to do with your manuscript or you. For an inside look at why a publishing house may be sending out rejections, here’s Ruth’s insider’s look at 10 REAL Reasons Your Book was Rejected.
***
by Anne R. Allen (@annerallen) July 21, 2019
What about you, scriveners? Does your WIP have issues in any of these categories? Which category is your own biggest challenge when writing fiction?
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Actually you missed one. If you a form rejection, the editor very likely did not get past the first page, or possibly even the first sentence. I learned this once I started getting personal rejections. The editors will be very specific about where they stopped in your story. It’s not about having shock value of a eye popping sentence (guilty) or a body on the ground, but starting with a character and the setting and a problem. An editor can tell if this works in just a few sentences…just like a reader opens the book in the bookstore, flips to the first page and then passes on the book.
Linda–That’s very true. The first page makes or breaks a book. I wrote this especially for writers who get requests for a full manuscript which subsequently gets rejected. Usually the agent will have read a sample and liked it, but they reject the ms. when they take a further look.
Fabulous! Thanks Anne. These points about language reminded me of an old TV show called Justified. Set in Appalachia, modern day but the hero never swears, and the bad guys are practically spouting Shakespeare! I could not believe my ears but the writing was so good it worked brilliantly.
What’s the message there? Search me but I loved it, totally immersed.
Will–Justified is one of my favorite TV shows ever. It was based on an Elmore Leonard story and Leonard often did this with his westerns. The language is amazing. Real cowboys and meth cookers probably mostly just grunt and swear, but Leonard created worlds where all this gorgeous dialogue worked beautifully. But I would advise newbie writers not to try this at home…:-)
Once again, an excellent blog for my students to read! If I could add one more: new writers who don’t know how to use viewpoint. They walk into EVERYbody’s head (head-hopping, we call it) such that the reader is confused and also not sure who they should be cheering for. My advice is always to take a good novel writing class before you attempt to shop that first novel.
Melodie–Head hopping is probably the main reason I’ll give a book a pass after checking the “look inside” on Amazon. I’m sure agents do too. It’s usually the first red flag that tells the reader this is amateur writing.
Anne—Terrific post! Under “pacing,” I would add that the skillful use of cliffhangers seems to be a lost art. Want readers to turn the page? Want them to say they “can’t put the book down?” Cliffhangers strategically employed keep readers “glued to the page.” Makes me think I should do a post on cliffhangers.
Ruth–Ooooh. Yes. We need a post on cliffhangers! Chapter endings are just as important as beginnings, Maybe more.
Oh yes!! Please??!!
Thank you for this, Anne. Very helpful list.
Leanne–Thanks!
Great piece, Anne. Just throwing in my 2-cents about profanity. I write mostly true crime and crime fiction. I guess it’s a case of writing what you know and I’ve spent a lifetime around crooks and cops. Pretty much all the crime-world characters I know swear (good & bad guys) and some of the female officers have bigger potty-mouths than the males.
You’re so right about suiting foul language to the genre. I think crime stories would be weakened without some realistic dialogue and that means F-bombing it when required. But, it’s like you say – all in moderation and F-bombs are pretty common in today’s speak. I will say that a writer has to draw the line with the C-word. That is really offensive to many and it ranks up there with the N-word.
I did have an occasion once where I had to C-bomb. My character was a full-patch Hells Angel and based on a real person who, unfortunately, I know all to well. In the scene, there was no other word that character would use – nothing else would be realistic. In staying true to the character, it’s the only time a wrote C and it stayed in through editing. But I crossed my fingers and hoped my mother would never read the book.
Garry–The language needs to fit the genre. In a gritty police procedural, that kind of language would be expected.
Funny story re: Mom reading your bad language. When my mom was writing her mystery, she had me beta read and she’d given one character some seriously salty language. I told her it wasn’t going to work in a cozy. We had quite a debate about it. She finally took out everything but the “goddams”. But she still got two reviews that objected to the “bad language.’ She was in her 80s at the time. 🙂
Ahoy Anne — Another fine post. I believe I mostly fall into the categories of #7 & #8, though it’s likely I’ve invented a dozen other reasons for agents to pass on my work. It’s a nutty industry. Thanks again for giving us a helpful glimpse into its machinations.
CS–Pacing and Plot issues are the biggies as far as most writers, I think. And I’ve read some novels by well known authors that fall down in those categories. Once they get going with a series, I’m not sure publishers give a book much of an edit.
I’ve always found a happy medium with the English language when it came/comes to select adjectives. I try to keep the F-bombs (along with A-bombs and S-bombs) not necessarily to the bare minimum but to a reasonable degree of usefulness. I also found that using non-selective adjectives/nouns/adverbs/verbs to be far more satisfying that to simply drop those various bombs in my story.
Your last sentence intrigues me, GB. What do you mean by “non-selective adjectives/nouns/adverbs/verbs”? My question, of course is about ‘non-selective.’
Tricia, I think GB is referring to non-profane (or vulgar) but colorful language. Which can be great fun.
Correct. I often find an endless amount of better ways to get a point across without using “selective” (i.e. swear words) adjectives. “Non-selective” simply means using regular words to show either emotion or to insult someone.
As you’ve said, it’s great fun. Forces you to use a dictionary and/or a thesaurus.
This is an awesome post. Thanks, Anne
Beth–Thanks for stopping by!
I’ve been rejected because the publisher was targeting specific topics. They felt they already had voices on the topic in that genre (in non-fiction). I was also once rejected (after being invited to submit) because my subtitle implied the book was outside their niche.
The more recent change is looking for your audience. They want subscribers, hits and related numbers to see your existing audience, and I think if you’re already good at self-marketing.
David–Nonfiction is a whole ‘nuther thing. It’s all about platform, platform, platform. And often if you have that big a platform, you don’t need no stinkin’ publishers. 🙂
Another insightful post, Anne, on an important topic. These are all issues authors can control. once they know the problems. But as you say some rejections are outside our conntrol, the editor having something on a similar topic, for instance. And my own agent’s pet peeve, a book with little commercial potential. It helps to read around your market and see what’s out there, what the standards are such as language levels and author voices. As a contest judge I’m seeing a lot of first person, present tense lately, and tell the entrant that it can be a tough sell. Indie publishing gives writers more latitude but they still need to know their potential market and reader expectations.
Valerie– Agents can usually tell by the query whether a novel has commercial potential or they have something similar on their calendar. But the rejections of a full manuscript can be devastating if the author doesn’t know why.
I think first person present tense is really common in YA, and it may be that writers who have grown up with it may not realize it’s not much used in adult fiction.
I’m another reader who loathes headhopping. I especially loathe headhopping when the author tries to pretend they’re not headhopping by adding *** everywhere to indicate the change in POV character. To my mind, *** is a scene break, and if you’ve got six *** on one page, you’re headhopping.
Some books are written in omniscient POV, and I honestly have trouble with that as well. Or maybe that’s because it’s not omniscient. It’s just headhopping in disguise.
Iola–Head-hopping is a deal-breaker for me too. It’s sloppy writing. Omniscient is something different, and it needs to be done well with a storyteller’s voice. An omniscient narrator gets into NOBODY’S head and the narrator is a kind of separate character.
Luckily, you can usually spot head-hopping problems in the first two pages. This post is about why a full manuscript is rejected. In a query with pages, an agent can usually tell if there’s head-hopping, so they won’t request the full.
Great post, Anne. I’m guilty of several of these in my books so thank goodness for developmental editors! I just finished writing my first YA novel and this post is right on! Very helpful!
Patricia–Congrats on finishing your YA novel! May it go on to fame and fortune!
THANK YOU
Anne, I’m delighted I had something positive to add to one of the points on this list, because I certainly am guilty of quite a number of others…!
Tara–Many thanks for making my bumbling Irish gigolo less shamrocky. 🙂 I will be forever grateful. I’ve collected a full set of these mistakes myself.
Loving your books and your blog. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us!
Vince–Thanks so much! That’s good to hear.
You missed another on – don’t imply you expect feedback.
Lindsey–Haha. I don’t think an agent would reject a great book for that reason alone, but it does show the author is a newbie. Thanks!