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June 24, 2018 By Anne R. Allen 35 Comments

Writers and the “F” Word: Coping With Failure

Writers and the “F” Word: Coping With Failure

by Ruth Harris

I’ve been published for decades. Random House and Simon & Schuster paid me well to publish my books in hard cover and paperback. My books have sold millions of copies, been translated into 19 languages, and appeared on Amazon and NYTimes bestseller lists.

  • Shouldn’t I know by now wtf I’m doing?
  • Shouldn’t I know all the tricks?
  • Shouldn’t I be able to figure out what I did wrong and how to fix it?
  • Shouldn’t I know how to shut down my harsh inner critic?
  • Shouldn’t I just be able to get on with it?

Apparently not.

Because my WIP has been kicking me in the butt.

My recent free fall caused me to think about the fact—the fact, not the possibility—that failure is an integral part of the writer’s life and career. To help myself get through this rough patch, I turned to other writers for help and perspective.

Writers have had a lot to say about failure because we’re experts.

We fail every day because failure is part of our job description.

From Margaret Atwood to Samuel Beckett to JK Rowling.

Margaret Atwood put it like this: “A ratio of failures is built into the process of writing. The wastebasket has evolved for a reason.”

  • We fail to write as well as we want to.
  • Our book, the one we thought our best ever, isn’t, not really. Not when we reread it a year or a decade later.
  • The book, the one we thought agents, publishers and readers would love for sure, languishes unread, unwanted and unloved.
  • We fail at marketing, covers, blurbs, key words and SEO.
  • We fail because of bad timing, because the genre we shine at is no longer popular.

By failure, I’m not even counting rejections which aren’t actually failures. We often interpret rejection as failure because, most of the time (not always) the rejection that stings has nothing to do with us or our book. I explained this in my post on the reasons books get rejected.

Of course it was a writer, Samuel Beckett, who said “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”

JK Rowling, said that she had “failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless…Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

How One Writer Turned Rejection And Failure Into Billions

Brian Koppelman “is miserable when he doesn’t write. And he didn’t write until he was 30’s and finally faced this thing that scared the shit out of me.” After many rejections, his movie, Runner, Runner was a flop. After that, Martin Scorsese fired him from an HBO showrunner’s job.

Then he and his writing partner co-created the Showtime hit series, Billions. They are now scripting the fourth season but in the run up years before Billions, he became fascinated with the inevitably of failure experienced by writers and other creative people.

He launched “The Moment,” a podcast in which he invites people who create things—actors, musicians, writers, chefs—to talk about their career paths. His guests range from John Grisham, who recounted the initial commercial failure of “A Time to Kill,” to screenwriter Eric Heisserer, who survived years of rejections en route to an Oscar nomination for “Arrival.”

How Louise Penny Met The Agent Of Her Dreams

Popular Canadian mystery-writer Louise Penny was 46 when her first novel was released after being rejected or ignored by 50 publishers. She was on the verge of giving up when she was awarded second place in a British crime-writing contest. Hoping to find a literary agent, she attended the award ceremony in London, but none of the agents she dreamed of meeting turned up.

To cheer herself up, she went to a fund-raising sale, where she found a “beautiful blue pashmina scarf.”

“I went to pick it up it, and soon found myself in a violent tug of war with a British woman who had her claws in it,” Ms. Penny recalled.

“Who are you?” she asked indignantly.

“And who are you?” the woman barked back.

When the other woman uttered her name—Teresa Chris, an influential agent for writers of crime fiction—Ms. Penny said she let go of the scarf. “I think I may have even bought it for her,” she added. Ms. Chris became her agent and found her a publisher.

“You Can’t Fail At Writing Unless You Quit Writing”

Dean Wesley Smith acknowledges the reality of failure in a recent post and points out that failure “is always self-inflicted.” He reminds us that most career writers have had professional flame outs but, one way or another, found a way to persist by identifying what went wrong and fixing the problem(s).

“Over the 44 years since I sold my first short story, I hit bottom and quit four times,” Dean writes and goes on to say that rediscovering the fun and enjoyment in the process of writing made the difference between failure, a dead dream, and a long career.

The Unforced Error, Or How Not To Shoot Yourself In The Foot

A stat used in scoring tennis, the unforced error is not caused by the opponent but is the responsibility of the player him/herself. The unforced error is also relevant to books and authors.

The unforced error is what we do to ourselves.

Anne’s post on self-sabotage lists 10 ways for us to get out of our own way.

Here’s another on releasing a book before it’s ready.

I took a deep dive into the difference between rejection and failure.

Don’t let a fall into a plot hole cause you to contemplate failure.

The Failure Matrix

Failure is such a predictable part of an author’s career that the fourth part of David Gaughran’s bestselling marketing guide, Strangers To Superfans, the part he wrote first, is titled Failure Matrix. David’s point, made with specific examples, is that if you can identify the point of failure, you can then move on to solve it.

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” ― Thomas Edison

I’m not saying that we need to feel good about failure because we won’t.

I am saying that we have to get real about failure.

Failure comes with the territory.

Failure is temporary and, put in perspective, is not the end but an opportunity  to create a new beginning.

I (finally!) figured out what was stopping me. It took a while and, even now that I’m loving my book again, I know that getting stuck and feeling tempted to chuck it all will happen again.

After all, a discouraged Stephen King threw away the Carrie manuscript. Lucky for him, wasn’t it, that his wife had faith when he didn’t and retrieved it from the trash?

by Ruth Harris (@ RuthHarrisBooks) June 24, 2018

What about you, scriveners? Have you ever felt like a failure as a writer? Have you ever felt like Stephen King and tossed a manuscript in the trash? Has rejection or writer’s block threatened to end your writing career? What got you back on your writing feet? 

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OPPORTUNITY ALERTS

Owl Canyon Press Short Story Hackathon. FREE! Writers are invited to submit a short story consisting of 50 paragraphs. The contest provides the first and last paragraph. Prizes: $1000, 500, and $250. Twenty-four Finalists will be included in an anthology. Deadline: June 30, 2018.

Nowhere Magazine’s Spring Contest.  The literary travel magazine is looking for stories with a powerful sense of place. $20 fee. Fiction or nonfiction. 800-5000 words. Previously published work is okay. $1000 prize plus publication. Deadline July 1st.

ARTS AND LETTERS UNCLASSIFIABLES CONTEST Have a piece that doesn’t fit in a genre? Or it’s not quite poetry OR prose? Then this the contest for you! $8 ENTRY FEE.  This contest is for unclassifiable works: works that blur, bend, blend, erase, or obliterate genre and other labels. And works of up to 5,000 words considered. $500 prize. Deadline July 31, 2018. 

ORISON BOOKS ANTHOLOGY $15 ENTRY FEE. They’re looking for spiritual/literary poetry, fiction and essays for their next anthology.  $500 cash prize as well as publication in The Orison Anthology. Submit up to three poems, one work of fiction or nonfiction up to 8,000 words. Deadline August 1, 2018

Stories That Need to be Told Contest from Tulip Tree press. $20 entry fee.. $1,000 prize for a poem, a short story, or an essay that “tells a story.” Also publication in the anthology, Stories That Need to Be Told. Up to 10,000 words. Categories: Passion, Depth, Humor, Love. Deadline August 26.

Glimmer Train Fiction Open. $3000 prize for a short story. Second prize $1000. Entry fee $21. Any subject or theme. From 3000 to 20,000 words Deadline August 31

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Filed Under: The Writing Life, Writing Craft Tagged With: How to deal with failure, Love and Money, Ruth Harris, Writing Failure

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About Anne R. Allen

Anne writes funny mysteries and how-to-books for writers. She also writes poetry and short stories on occasion. Oh, yes, and she blogs. She's a contributor to Writer's Digest and the Novel and Short Story Writer's Market.

Her bestselling Camilla Randall Mystery RomCom Series features perennially down-on-her-luck former socialite Camilla Randall—who is a magnet for murder, mayhem and Mr. Wrong, but always solves the mystery in her quirky, but oh-so-polite way.

Anne lives on the Central Coast of California, near San Luis Obispo, the town Oprah called "The Happiest City in America."

Comments

  1. alexjcavanaugh says

    June 24, 2018 at 10:24 am

    I felt like a failure before I even began – fun way to start, huh?
    I could say I feel like failure now since I haven’t written another book – only a few articles and pieces for anthologies. It’s been three years. That’s eternity in this business. However, I am working on another full length story now.
    Arrival was a brilliant movie – Eric captured the book and more with his screenplay.

    Reply
  2. Alex J. Cavanaugh (@AlexJCavanaugh) says

    June 24, 2018 at 10:35 am

    I’m at the failure point now since I’ve written nothing more than articles and short stories for anthologies for years. But I am finally working on another book.
    Arrival was brilliant. Eric created a screenplay from the book that was incredible.

    Reply
    • Ruth Harris says

      June 24, 2018 at 11:04 am

      Alex—Why do you consider yourself at the failure point? Articles and short stories are valuable especially now that “short” is popular. Perhaps you’re really talking about a way for you to regroup in advance of working on a new book?

      Reply
  3. Tara Sparling says

    June 24, 2018 at 11:11 am

    Super post, Ruth. I’m all for failure. We learn so much from it, whereas we learn little or nothing from success.

    Happily, as an Irish woman, I’m well used to failure. However, we’re taught early that we must be careful not to be so good at it that it could be considered a triumph. 😉

    Reply
    • Ruth Harris says

      June 24, 2018 at 11:28 am

      Tara—You are soooo right. No one ever learned anything from success. Failure, tho? A tough, effective teacher. I’m not Irish, but luckily for me, I’m from an old-fashioned WASP family: don’t even *think* about getting too big for your boots cuz they’ll shoot you down faster that you can say “I”or “me.”

      Reply
  4. Lexington Alexander (@thocolat) says

    June 24, 2018 at 11:27 am

    I have a little bit of a different problem — something that I was afraid would happen and so of course it finally did. Last month, my sales for the first time really flew through the roof. I write under a few pseudonyms and everything seemed to come together just right for one of my pseudonyms at the same time. Right book, waiting fan base, grit, plus momentum = SALES!

    So, it’s time to write the next book, right? I’ve planned out two books already and have given up in the middle of both. I’ve written until I’ve hated it. Just opening the word document freezes my brain right behind my eyes. So, I waited two months. Nope — not long enough.

    So, I’ve switched over to non-fiction and that’s going very quickly for some reason. But, people always quit right before things take off and I’ve joined the zombie cult of wrung out writers.

    Reply
    • Ruth Harris says

      June 24, 2018 at 12:22 pm

      Lexington—Congratulations on your SALES! Sorry about the brain freeze. Like the old Frank Sinatra song: “Riding high in April, shot down in May…” Smart move to switch to nonfic and Zombie Pride!

      Reply
  5. csperryess says

    June 24, 2018 at 12:15 pm

    I love your subtitle — You Can’t Fail At Writing Unless You Quit Writing. Ain’t that the truth? And what can revive me after I’ve fallen into a writerly hole I’ve dug myself? The writing itself. When an unexpected character walks onto the blank page, when the perfect moment presents itself, when the possibilities bloom — that’s what keeps me writing.

    Thanks for another fine post.

    Reply
    • Ruth Harris says

      June 24, 2018 at 12:26 pm

      CS—You Can’t Fail At Writing Unless You Quit Writing isn’t mine. It’s 100% Dean Wesley Smith, a man who knows what he’s talking about! “When the possibilities bloom” is brilliant way to express what keeps us writing (even when we’re falling flat on our faces and redefining failure).

      Reply
  6. writerchick says

    June 24, 2018 at 1:17 pm

    Hey Ruth,
    You’re so right, failure is a natural part of writing and pretty much any endeavor wherein you wish to succeed. There really are no overnight successes, just stubborn cusses who refused to give up. And that’s probably one of the most important qualities a writer must possess. Especially in this instant publishing world that is now the norm.

    And it’s the ease with which people can publish that makes the failures doubly likely and in some ways harder to take. Any Tom, Dick, or Harry can publish any old thing they want. A list of hot girls even. If they have enough of a street team and hype they might even become a bestseller too. I actually find that type of scenario a lot more disheartening than failing at a writing project. Perhaps because I know I will likely come up with another story idea (albeit not instantly) but clearing the field of the scammers and shysters seems an impossible task.

    Not long ago, I watched a ‘training’ video from a ‘best-selling’ author in which he was giving the tips on how to succeed as an author. And in it, he actually said, “The writing doesn’t matter – not really…” I haven’t read anymore of his posts since then and probably won’t. But that attitude, I’m sorry to say, is not rare.

    Anyway…that is probably a topic for another day.

    Yes, failure…it’s okay. It sucks while it’s happening but it’s a mighty fine teacher once you can get past the hurt of it and move onto the next WIP.

    Thanks for this.

    Annie

    Reply
    • Ruth Harris says

      June 24, 2018 at 2:01 pm

      Annie—I hear you! Unfortunately, scammers and shysters have always been/will always be among us. Only difference is they’ve now gone digital—and sounds like the “training video” is right up there to fool the gullible and uninformed..
      Luckily for us, Anne is always riding herd on them and keeping us safe.

      Reply
    • Fred Waiss says

      June 24, 2018 at 3:35 pm

      Unfortunately, that author had a point. The popularity of “Fifty shades of Grey” shows that, at least sometimes, the quality of writing does not matter if the theme or subject happens to strike a nerve. The writing in “Fifty Shades” is amateurish at best. I even wrote a review of it on my website’s blog (https://www.fgwaiss.com/freds-blog — 6th down from the top) To give some credit to E.L. James, her writing improved through the next books and the writing in her fourth book, “Grey”, is actually pretty good. She improved her writing through writing. Sounds familiar…

      Reply
  7. rona simmons says

    June 24, 2018 at 1:31 pm

    Fabulous post. And just the right message to land in my inbox — another day another rejection. No matter what, I love my book. And, I am writing it for the twenty five ninety-plus-year-old veterans whose stories I’m telling. It will see the light of day even if I am the one to shine the spotlight on it!
    Thanks.

    Reply
    • Ruth Harris says

      June 24, 2018 at 2:05 pm

      Rona—Thanks! Your book about veterans sounds invaluable. Non-fiction is much easier to sell than fiction. We learned that because my DH’s military memoir about his experiences during the H-bomb tests in the South Pacific, THE ATOMIC TIMES, continues to find its audience and sell well. Sounds like you’ve got a winner!

      Reply
  8. Carmen Amato (@CarmenConnects) says

    June 24, 2018 at 2:08 pm

    Ruth, your examples of authors who moved past “failure” are spot on. I put the word in quotes because none of them failed at producing interesting stories but stepped away from their goals. In today’s chaotic publishing world, success for many of us means writing quality content, reaching readers directly, and defining our own wins. Before sticking the failure label on anything, a writer today should take a minute to see if their notion of success is theirs or a leftover from a different publishing landscape. Own your goals, walk your path, embrace each little success along the way.

    Reply
    • Ruth Harris says

      June 24, 2018 at 2:16 pm

      Carmen—Thanks for putting the whole notion of “failure” into sane perspective! Your well-chosen words will help every writer.

      Reply
  9. Susan Gourley says

    June 24, 2018 at 2:43 pm

    An inspirational post to help get through the day. Writing is work but I love it. Promotion is torture, but we must do it. Posts like yours remind us we’re not alone.

    Reply
    • Ruth Harris says

      June 24, 2018 at 3:12 pm

      Susan—glad to hear the post helped at least a little. Definitely a plus to remind ourselves that we have each other!

      Reply
  10. Melodie Campbell says

    June 24, 2018 at 3:02 pm

    Failure. Oh man, does it haunt us even decades after we establish a writing career. Because…maybe I’ll never write anything as good as that last book? Maybe that was the apex? Linwood Barclay and I were doing a panel together and were asked the question: does it get harder or easier, with each book? Linwood said, Harder. Definitely. I said, Ditto. The stakes are higher. The expectations are greater. Excuse me now, because I may have to throw up.
    (grin – great post, Ruth)

    Reply
    • Ruth Harris says

      June 24, 2018 at 3:18 pm

      Melodie—another reason it gets harder is you know more so your standards keep getting higher. A moving target is hard to hit. Have some ginger ale. Settles the stomach. 😉

      Reply
  11. Fred Waiss says

    June 24, 2018 at 3:50 pm

    Most people, even the “new” generation, are aware that there was a great television series titled “MASH.” Fewer are aware that the series was adapted from a very successful movie of the same title. Most of the last two generations (maybe the last three) are unaware that the movie was adapted from a book of the same title by Richard Hooker. The novel, which he worked on for eleven years, was rejected by over twenty publishers before it finally found a home. He never failed because he never gave up.

    Reply
    • Ruth says

      June 24, 2018 at 5:04 pm

      Fred—yes! Never failed. Never gave up!

      Reply
  12. Kessie says

    June 24, 2018 at 4:02 pm

    I have trouble defining “failure” when it comes to writing, aside from not writing. I write because I love it. I write stories I love. If I throw them online and other people love them, great, and if not, no skin off my nose. Dean Wesley Smith remarked that authors don’t start getting discovered until you have about thirty books out. I find that quite comforting, because I see all these other authors throwing in the towel after one or three or five books “aren’t selling”. One I just saw published a new book, got a handful of sales and reviews, then took the book down “because it wasn’t selling”. I just scratch my head in confusion. What did they expect? They hadn’t even done any marketing. The first I’d heard of their book was their takedown post.

    Reply
    • Ruth Harris says

      June 24, 2018 at 5:06 pm

      Kessie—you make an excellent point and do it very well indeed! Thanks!

      Reply
  13. Sue Coletta says

    June 25, 2018 at 9:47 am

    You really nailed it, Ruth. Some days I feel like I’m failing more than I’m winning, then I remind myself that it goes with the gig. A little trick I’ve used for years is to celebrate the small victories, even if the goal is to finish one chapter. Small victories keep us focused and moving forward. Self-doubt and self-sabotage will always be there. Success, no matter our definition, takes a lot more work. Do any writers consider themselves successful? I wonder what the world looks like behind rose-colored glasses.

    Reply
    • Ruth Harris says

      June 25, 2018 at 10:39 am

      Sue—Love your tip. Small victories are a big help! Thanks for sharing.
      As to writers who consider themselves successful? Not if they’re being honest. 😉

      Reply
  14. Patricia Yager Delagrange says

    June 25, 2018 at 11:10 am

    Oh, boy. Well, I’ve felt like a failure hundreds of times – each time I got ANOTHER rejection letter from an agent. But I’m a determined SOB and would not quit writing. How could I improve my writing if I quit, right? I believe in myself and my writing and also found someone who, though not an agent, is now my publicist, and she truly believes in me. So onward and upward, hopefully.

    Reply
    • Ruth Harris says

      June 25, 2018 at 11:30 am

      Patricia—A rejection letter from an agent is a get out of jail card from a 15% FOREVER trap. Reply with a thank you note. 🙂 Then carry on with the support of your publicist!

      Reply
  15. Katharine says

    June 25, 2018 at 9:35 pm

    Very close to writing a book for 18 years. Sad.
    Do we every just plain run out of words? Get tired? Bored with our subject? Lose inspiration? I can write on assignment, just fine, but my books! Oh, they have become so very bad, due to my writing becoming very bad, that I hesitate to edit, knowing I’m making the book worse, not better. So frustrating. I’ve charmed and made people laugh and/or cry, I’ve inspired, I’ve angered. Now it seems I’ve stopped. Even when I think of a really great blog post, even when I have an outline, even when I know exactly what to say, nothing works. It’s like I dreamed it and then it evaporated as dreams do.

    Reply
  16. Ruth Harris says

    June 26, 2018 at 8:31 am

    Katherine—Welcome to the club! Sounds like you’re a writer. Very often fallow, uninspired periods are following by productive rushes of creativity. Hang in!

    Reply
  17. Claude Forthomme (@claudeforthomme) says

    June 26, 2018 at 10:24 am

    Such a helpful post, Ruth, thank you. I felt it addressed me directly: I certainly belong to the “failed club” with 6 titles out (in a short period, between 2011 and 2014) and none selling today. Which goes to show that books on digital shelves (in my case Amazon) don’t have necessarily a long life and certainly don’t exhibit any “long tail”. Perhaps because they were fiction? I don’t know.

    But I do know that I used a pen name that NOW, years later, I deeply regret (it was Nougat, in case you’re curious). The pen name was born out of a joke from my adolescence, at first it kinda made sense. Then, one day I realized the connotations of the pen name (nougat is a gooey sweet). That didn’t fit one bit the content and style of my books! It was plain stupid.

    Also, no doubt, the failure to sell was caused by other factors. Probably amateurish writing and most definitely an inability to promote (I hate marketing and pushing myself!). Plus the fact that Amazon is built in such a way that for self-published authors, there’s only one sure way to sell: Hit the top 100. Because reviews, interviews in the mainstream media and participation in literary prizes that count are not accessible if you don’t have a big publisher backing you. Throw in the fact that the competition from established authors became intense in the digital market after 2011, effectively elbowing out all (but a few lucky) self-published authors, and you’ve got a “perfect storm” for self-published authors!

    A storm that left me on the beach (along with many others, I’m sure). What next? I figured I’d jump into the non-fiction segment of publishing. And I joined an online magazine as Senior Editor (it’s Impakter, in case you’re curious about that too!).

    I have to say I really enjoy it, writing a lot of article these days…But a book? I don’t know, I’e got one sitting in a drawer (about the UN where I worked for 25 Years) but I don’t know why, I’m in no rush. Waiting to see what happens. In Trumpian times, writing about the UN (and with a new perspective on it) may not be the best idea – or maybe it is. I don’t know. We’ll see. But I’m deep into another kind of writing (i.e. non fiction/journalism) and it certainly saved me from that gnawing sense of failure.

    So, for me, the recipe was to write something in a totally different genre/direction/content. I suspect that works for a lot of other people too…

    Reply
    • Ruth Harris says

      June 26, 2018 at 12:50 pm

      Claude—It sounds like you’ve made a smart decision. IME it’s much easier to sell non-fiction because you can target the most likely readers with a subject of interest to them. Once you get the word out, they’ll be the automatically responsive audience. Good luck!

      Reply
      • Claude Forthomme says

        July 6, 2018 at 9:53 am

        Not sure about “automatically responsive” audience, but yes, I hope it will all work out in the end. Thanks for the encouraging words!

  18. Debra Rieger says

    July 2, 2018 at 9:59 am

    Excellent post! I recently finished reading Black Box Thinking by Matthew Syed. Although the book isn’t specifically about writing, I can recommend it to all who want to learn from failure instead of giving up. It’s interesting to me that this post popped up as soon as I finished the book. I guess I needed this message!

    Reply
    • Ruth says

      July 2, 2018 at 10:41 am

      Thanks! Thanks, too, for mentioning Black Box Thinking, a deep dive into the way learning from failure paves the way to success. Failure is an essential part of the creative process. If we aren’t failing, we aren’t learning and we aren’t improving.

      Reply

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Anne R. AllenAnne R. Allen writes funny mysteries and how-to-books for writers. She also writes poetry and short stories on occasion. She’s a contributor to Writer’s Digest and the Novel and Short Story Writer’s Market.

Her bestselling Camilla Randall Mystery Series features perennially down-on-her-luck former socialite Camilla Randall—who is a magnet for murder, mayhem and Mr. Wrong, but always solves the mystery in her quirky, but oh-so-polite way.

Ruth Harris NYT best selling authorRuth is a million-copy New York Times bestselling author, Romantic Times award winner, former Big 5 editor, publisher, and news junkie.

Her emotional, entertaining women’s fiction and critically praised novels have sold millions of copies in hard cover, paperback and ebook editions, been translated into 19 languages, sold in 30 countries, and were prominent selections of leading book clubs including the Literary Guild and the Book Of The Month Club.

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