by Anne R. Allen
“Show-Don’t-Tell” is one of the most sacred commandments in the writerly bible.
As Susan Defreitas wrote at LitReactor, “If writing advice were classic rock, this would be ‘Stairway to Heaven’.”
“Show, Don’t Tell” is sound advice—up to a point. Nobody wants to read a novel that’s a dry recitation of incidents. That can sound like a four-year-old recapping his day. “I had Cheerios and then Dad took me to preschool and I played with blocks and ate a bologna sandwich and then I went to the bathroom and…” You want to show us the action in a series of scenes not tell us what happened.
And we know a “telling” sentence like “Lula-Mae was beautiful,” is bland. We want to say something more like “Lula-Mae’s flowing auburn hair and voluptuous figure had a powerful effect on Bubba and Jim-Bob.” That way we can show what she looks like and let the reader in on the emotional reactions of the other characters.
But a whole lot of writers, especially newbies (and the dreaded “writing rules police“) take the Show-Don’t-Tell thing way too far and turn it into an unbreakable rule. That can make for some murky, slow, and downright boring fiction.
Joshua Henkin wrote a great piece for Writer’s Digest calling Show-Don’t-Tell, “The Great Lie of Writing Workshops.” He says Show-Don’t-Tell makes his students “adjective-happy” and lazy about confronting the emotional core of a story.
Here are some ways that following the Show-Don’t-Tell rule can interfere with good storytelling.
1) “Camera’s Eye” writing skimps on information.
As book coach Jennie Nash said in her recent post at the Book Designer, these people “write as if they are a camera recording the physical events of the story – ‘She sighed’, ‘He smiled’, ‘He took her hand.’ These writers forget that the reader has absolutely no idea what the sigh, smile or handholding means. They refuse to tell us because they are convinced this would violate Show-Don’t-Tell.”
Most modern writers have been brought up on screenplays. We have the conventions of the screenplay hardwired to our brains, because we saw TV shows before we could read. But what we see on the screen isn’t a screenplay. It’s the interpretation of the script by actors, directors, cinematographers, composers, and a whole host of other creative people.
When a screenwriter says a character clenches his fist, this clench will be interpreted by an actor to show a whole spectrum of emotion. Lighting and music and camera angle will enhance them.
But when a novelist tells us a character clenches his fist, he is not letting us in on much.
Is the character angry and about to punch somebody? Trying to keep from crying? Suffering from a painful intestinal ailment? We’ll never know if the author won’t tell us.
You’re not a camera. You’re a novelist. And it’s your job to give us as much information as possible to tell your story.
2) Withholding information annoys the reader.
Withholding information is not plotting. I’ve read a lot of amateur fiction (especially literary fiction) where the plot seems to be a secret the author is withholding from the reader. A character moves inexplicably through a bizarre landscape having cryptic conversations with random people. These writers may use the phrase “story question” to explain this game of “that’s for me to know and you to find out.”
But readers aren’t there to play games. We are there to enjoy a story. A “story question” should not be, “WTF is this story about?”
Withholding information is not a smart way to create tension. One story question should be answered before another one is asked. Piling on the confusion is only going to annoy your reader.
Let us know where we are, who the protagonist is and what he wants, or you’ve lost your reader before chapter two. If you have to tell rather than show to keep the reader from leaving, go ahead and do it. Seriously. It’s okay.
3) Exclusively “showing” puts distance between the reader and the character.
An author’s job is to create a connection between the reader and the character. Readers want to get inside the character’s head.
But when we meet that guy with the clenched fist, we are just looking at him from the outside. We’re shut out of the story.
When you say, “Lula-Mae bit her fingernail,” we don’t have access to her feelings. She may be apprehensive, but she may simply have an annoying hangnail or be desperate for a cigarette.
“Lula-Mae was so terrified of meeting the man from the FBI, she’d chomped off three fingernails and was working on a fourth,” gives us a much better idea of her internal state even though the author is—gasp—telling us Lula-Mae is terrified.
4) Too much showing slows the pace.
If you spend ten pages describing the shabby apartment of the murder witness, and we hear the screaming children and the blaring TV and smell the unemptied cat litter box and overflowing garbage can, your story is not going forward.
A writer should only dwell on the key scenes where important action is occurring. It’s perfectly okay to say your detective can tell the witness is a harried single mom who is barely able to cope so her testimony may be useless. Then he can move on with the investigation and your reader can get on with the story.
Some newbie writers confuse descriptions of violence with conflict. If you describe every blow and scream of pain in a fight scene, your story is not moving forward. The story stops until we know how the characters react to what’s going on and how the fight alters the trajectory of the plot. The carnage has to do something to the characters and move the plot forward, or it’s no more interesting than a description of the sofa cushions.
5) It’s hard to say anything original about body language.
How many times have you hit the thesaurus looking for a new way to say your character is afraid or angry or elated?
Beginning writers are likely to stray into purple prose territory while trying to avoid telling us this stuff outright.
- “The contents of his stomach had turned into rabid ferrets.”
- “Her angora-mittened hands clenched into fuzzy pink balls of rage.”
- “Her heart felt as if it had taken wing and landed in Narnia—but not the winter Narnia with that awful queen—Narnia on a summer day when Peter was High King and the talking animals were all getting along.”
Writers want to be original. We want to Show-Don’t-Tell. But we need to be careful it doesn’t involve stepping out of the story and taking our readers with us.
6) Too much “showing” can be a sign of over-workshopping
Last month Kris Rusch warned us about the bland “serious writer” voice that comes from following too many “writing rules” instead of developing our own voice.
I’m a fan of workshops and critique groups because they can be a free and helpful way for a new writer to learn basic writing skills. But I also warn about the dangers. See my post on Why You Should Ignore Most Advice from your Critique Group.
There’s such a thing as over-workshopping. I know writers who have workshopped the same novel for decades in everything from college classes to writers’ conferences to online critique groups. They often try to follow the advice of every person who gives feedback.
What they’re doing is giving away creative control of their own book. They are letting their book be written by committee. They’re also following a recipe for bland, boring writing. Don’t do it. If a book isn’t working, or it’s had hundreds of rejections and you don’t know what to do to fix it, put it in a drawer.
Then go read at least five popular contemporary books in that genre by five different authors. Do these authors break the “rules”?
How often do they tell, rather than show?
Right.
Learning to write compelling prose takes time. It does take feedback, but it also takes a lot of READING. Your time might be better spent learning from the pros. Workshops have their place, but nothing can substitute for knowing your genre inside and out.
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What about you, scriveners? Are you annoyed by the Show-Don’t-Tell rule? Have you tried to follow it to the letter? Have you run into an over-workshopped manuscript? Do you have examples where Show-Don’t-Tell drives you nuts?
By Anne R. Allen (@annerallen) March 6, 2016
Anne R. Allen is the author of ten books, including the bestselling CAMILLA RANDALL MYSTERIES and HOW TO BE A WRITER IN THE E-AGE, co-written with NYT bestseller Catherine Ryan Hyde. She also blogs at The Camilla Randall Mysteries.
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BOOK OF THE WEEK
The Lady of the Lakewood Diner is available at all the Amazons, iTunes, Kobo, and Nook.
Who shot rock diva Morgan Le Fay? Only her childhood friend Dodie, owner of a seedy small-town diner, can find the culprit before the would-be assassin comes back to finish the job
Boomers, this one’s for you. And for younger people if you want to know what your parents and grandparents were really up to in the days of Woodstock and that old fashioned rock and roll. Plus there’s a little Grail mythology for the literary fiction fans.
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“I borrowed this book free with my Amazon Prime membership, but I enjoyed it so much that I don’t want to give it up. I’m buying a copy to keep.“…Linda A. Lange
“In The Lady of the Lakewood Diner, nothing is sacred, nothing is profane. And yet, in the end, love does conquer all. If you’re of an age to remember Woodstock and the Moonwalk, don’t miss it. If you’re not, well, you won’t find a better introduction.” …Deborah Eve of the Later Bloomer
“With rare perception and insight, the author lays bare the souls of the two women as they take their own unique paths though life, through fumbling first attempts at sex, to lopsided relationships, to the triumph of ambition and the agony of missed chances. It’s an epic coming-of-age story filled with passion, struggles, mistakes, and redemption. The main characters were extremely deep and realistic, along with vivid supporting characters. If you love literary fiction set against a fascinating cultural backdrop, you’ll love this book. Highly recommended”.…Laura 6
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Anne—Such an important post! Rules kill…good fiction. Slavishly following the “rules” of the moment has nothing to do with writing compelling fiction. If there’s any formula for good fiction it would go something like this: A good story + credible characters (good guys and bad guys) + a quest or a goal + a setting well described + dialogue that actually sounds like the way people talk + well-wrought narrative to knit the whole thing together. And that’s leaving out the most important thing of all: the author’s skill in wielding his or her craft + taste.
Ruth–It’s taken me two blogposts but you said it all right here. “Rules kill…good fiction.” Thanks!
I’m slowly learning this too. Especially those artiles that say must, have to, and always. Growl hiss! Those shoved me down the rabbit hole on my pov of choice.
Jessica–I’m going to be writing about this again in early September. People keep needing a reminder. These things are guidelines and suggestions, not rules!
Anne, thank you for replying! I’ve tried to be a part of the conversations in many book blogs/articles and I’m usually ignored.
Good, I have to keep reminding myself that not all advise is good for my book.
What bugs me is when I get a good helpful critique and then the cridic gives examples in their own writing style and saying Il should write it their way. *Sigh*
I’m polite and say thank you but now skim over anything thats like that. Mostly I see it as a flag waving on that paragraph needs to be more clear.
Jessica–Stop by the blog next Sunday. I’ll be writing a post just for you. 🙂 Well, for everybody who has been in a critique group with a person with an “agenda”.
Oh cool, I’ll go look for it. 😀
As always, you two ladies nail it!
Love your comments about hiding the plot, Anne! So many times, I encounter this in new writing students in my Crafting a Novel college course. They don’t want to give anything away in the first chapter- they are ‘saving’ it in a hopeful attempt to create more tension later (and also to proudly display their firm understanding of the term ‘show not tell’ by showing *everything*.) And thus the reader doesn’t know why the protagonist is doing what he is doing, what he cares about, what’s at *stake*.
I tell them: “Don’t try to be clever. Please. Just tell a damn good story.”
Definitely pointing my Wed. class to this post, Anne!
Melodie–As a writing teacher, you must be driven up a wall by this kind of stuff. “Don’t try to be clever” is a better “writing rule” than show-don’t-tell.
Mind if I jump in here? Maybe I a bit weird, but the first year of writing I started searching google, when the cridics couldn’t stand all the grsmmer, pov, and other jarring errors.
After that stuff was improved they pointed out that the first chapter was confusing.
So ran back to google and read every article on how to write a first chapter. Some I ignored but most gave an “Oh! or ah ha!” moment.
Now I think readers know that she’s trying doing something important, but everything goes wrong. Am hoping that that’s enough because she’s been lied to. It’s hard to explain. :p
I don’t have much confidence in my writing yet but am trying hard to add hints and such.
I will never be accused of over-showing.
Rabid ferrets was funny, but the Narnia one wins it.
There are some really good ways to show and not use words like was and had. And then sometimes, those words just fit best. Relax and move on!
Alex–I’m glad you liked by purple prose. 🙂 Narnia had me giggling as I wrote it.
Agree with Alex, that Narnia comparison was hilarious and too close for comfort for me, the self-proclaimed oracle of purple prose.
I have a series on my blog where I start with the commandment “Because in the end, you have to show, not tell”. And I fill it with photos, of lead figurines that represent characters in my world. I was cheeky enough to suspect the rule’s worth, but I could never lay it out like you just did. Maybe I should link to this column in future versions!
Will–I have fun writing purple. 🙂 I’ll have to check out your show don’t tell series. As I say, it’s a good rule as long as people don’t take it too far. I’d love it if you linked to this post!
Hi Anne! You’ve said exactly what needs to be said. The more I learn of this fiction game, the more I believe Stephen King’s advice on the S vs T thing. He says “Just tell the goddam story.” Mind you, the guy’s a master storyteller but he didn’t get there just by following all the rules. I think too many fiction writers get way too hung up on this and it kills their voice. I think good storytelling is about continually keeping the reader in it, regardless of what rules you do or don’t follow 🙂
Garry–We can’t all be Stephen King, but he found his voice by ignoring some rules and I think his advice is excellent!
Love! Thank you. I love telling. The good kind. The kind that isn’t lazy but actually harder than showing because what carries the narrative is voice. 🙂 And I totally agree with Krish Rusch’s article too.
Laura–I’m glad you agree. Sometimes the “telling” can be very entertaining, like a stand-up comic’s routine. Kris’s article was great!
I like telling sometimes. Why show every boring step that the povs do as they travel? Blea!
It’s way quicker ro just say “That next day …” Or “Several hours later ..” Occasionally I make it more descriptive and pretty (lol) if the main pov is seeing things that way. I really think with all the “rules” out there that the whole point of telling a story gets lost.
Hi, Anne, I love what you said about developing your OWN voice. Too much rule following and juggling of all those “writer rules” on POV, tense, setting, narrative, dialogue, etc. can be more of a hindrance than a help. When I started to write for fun–after leaving academe behind and learning to write fiction and nonfiction via short shorts and short stories–I was totally overwhelmed by all the rules. I’m not saying they’re not important. They are. But like everything else in life, a little bit goes a long way. Paul
Paul—You’re so right. Keeping the fun in it is what keeps your writing fresh and entertaining. Wen we start trying to be writing robots, it’s no fun for anybody.
Yes. 😀 It needds to stay fun. My neest chapter I tosd the comma rules out tge window when the main pov has had it. Her dialoge has none in it, am hoping it comes off as ticked off woman who’s talking so fast she isn’t taking a breath with the insults.
Ahoy Anne,
This is so true. One of my favorite writing gurus, the brilliant Patti Lee Gauch, tackles your first topic (the skimping camera’s eye) by explaining that the reader appreciates an occasional “signpost” — a simple statement of emotional fact. Though many of us have been trained not to do so by well-meaning Show-Don’t-Tell advocates, it’s actually a good thing to write “Armand was in love,” or “Petunia couldn’t take it any more,” or “The Charlotte County Library was Selma’s favorite place on the planet.”
Thanks for another fine post.
CS Perryess>>”Petunia couldn’t take it any more.” Perfect. I get “Petunia.” I know she’s about to crack. Maybe even kill someone. Or disappear.
After a while, this ‘petunia’ gets mighty sick of ‘show don’t tell.’ Sure, I break the rule, but I admit I was too timid to challenge it publicly–an odd place to be for a bonafide rule breaker! Thanks, Anne, for bringing this up.
CS and TT–Love the Petunia comments! Getting to the heart of the emotion is what’s important, whether we show it or tell it.
I swear, this is one of the best “show don’t tell” posts I’ve ever read. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I am in the middle of editing my sixth book and I’ve written in third person POV before but I keep getting comments saying, “your’e too much in her head” from my editor and “show don’t tell” comments as well. My mind is reeling. I am not a total newbie but I am not you or my editor either. There’s such a fine line when dealing with these rules. You want to make your book interesting and let your reader have a feel for the character’s internal workings and personality but you don’t want to “tell” the reader about the MC, you want to “show” the reader. Have I written too many of her thoughts? Have I not used enough dialogue to show what she’s like as a person? AACK! It’s a hard road. Your post makes me feel better about all of the rules.
Patricia–I’m so glad this post helps. You’re right that we have to walk a fine line. Writing is so much harder than people know!
True, Anne, I loathe that ‘show don’t tell’ rule. It leads to the inanity of Elmore Leonard and plots as thin as a cornflake. ‘He hit the man. The man Said “Blah!” Blood spurted. And the reader fell asleep…’
But why did he hit the man? What did he feel as he did that? Where’s the backstory? For that you need ‘tell’. Was Tess raped in Tess of the D’Urbervilles or did she – perish the thought – consent? Hardy couldn’t show us that graphic scene, of course – his readers would have swooned into their smelling salts – so he told us about it, distancing us from the event. So the mystery remained. And that was the central plot of Tess of the D’Urbervilles…
John–Very insightful about Tess of the D’Urbervilles. There is no rape or seduction scene, so we don’t know. We look forward to your visit here next week!
I had to fix a couple of chapters that were way to graffic. Humm people don’t need or want to know that a knife is gratting aganst bone … (hides face in hands.)
Deep pov does that to me, it’s hard to know when to pull back sometimes.
We have to learn how to show but know when to use it. Great post I am still giggling at the ferrets. *chortle*
Ellen–That’s a good way to put it. You gotta know when to show ’em and know when to tell ’em Apologies to Kenny Rogers.
FABulous as always, Anne! Once again, you’ve saved me from staring slack-jawed at the screen of yet another edit…and then to hit the Narnia bit! Hilarious and the laugh has allowed me to come up for air, maybe make a sandwich, maybe stare at my puppy for a bit to relocate to planet earth…
Every workshop or class I ever attended had an instructor or group or know-it-all who carried a large show-don’t-tell stick — and I always had a headache from getting bonked.
Thanks for the great post! Libertas!
Tiger–That show don’t tell stick has ruined a lot of perfectly good stories. I’m glad you didn’t give in. I hope you enjoyed your sandwich. 🙂
I love your wit while making a point. This is such great advice. I was lucky in some respects because I lived too far away from workshops to take advantage of them, so I read A LOT. When I found something that moved me, I’d highlight it and make notes of what the author did to illicit that reaction. It became such a natural thing for me to do, I can’t stop. Every e-book and paperback I own has copious notes and highlights. But it was how I trained myself, and it still helps sharpen what I’ve learned. I just can never loan anyone a book. Not necessarily a bad thing. LOL
Sue–What great advice: highlight great sentences as you read. That’s probably one of the best ways to learn to write!
“Her angora-mittened hands clenched into fuzzy pink balls of rage” — 🙂 !!!
A great post, as always.
Stay safe, Anne, hope there’s no power outage.
Sasha–We had quite a storm, but no trees fell on the power lines. My only damage was a bronze heron in my yard who fell over and bent his butt feathers. 🙂 And then the sun came out and I went wine tasting. Glorious day!
But readers aren’t there to play games. We are there to enjoy a story. A “story question” should not be, “WTF is this story about?”
Bhahahaahaha. This made me laugh out loud. Hilarious! Thank you for this. It’s a great discussion point for sure. We’ve had folks in my crit group that show us mundane everyday living stuff and go one about making tea, and then TELL the more exciting stuff. Although I may be guilty of the fight scene scenario, but in my case dance scene.
It’s part of the journey and struggle of figuring out what to tell, what to show and finding the right balance.
Thanks again Anne. 🙂
Tam–You’re right that we have to find balance and it’s not always easy. I have read so much beginners’ work that has 10 pages of weeding the garden or washing dishes (showing) while reminiscing about backstory (telling). It’s a pattern new writers fall into a lot.
I save my purply prose for my blog. And as for hiding the plot, shoot, I had times where I was hiding the plot of a story from myself. Now that takes originality. Or obliviousness. Whichever makes more sense.
Seriously though, the one thing I do pride myself on is my descriptive scene writing. But, and this is a key but, I know when to say when, because even I can’t deal with a ton o’ description and no sustenance. And if I can’t deal with it, why should I inflict it on others?
GB–It’s all about knowing when to say when isn’t it. And as for hiding your plot from yourself. I’m doing that right now in my WIP. My initial idea for a subplot fizzled and the new one has not yet materialized.
Yet again your common-sense advice comes with a generous helping of wit. Thank you for another entertaining post. I’ve always thought that knowing style rules/guidelines/good practice is one thing, using them intelligently is another.
Wendy–Rules are like anything else–we need to know our limits. Use judiciously.
Great post, Anne. The inmates are now running the asylum and the proliferation of advice is enough to make your head spin or make you reach for a strong drink. And yes, I’ve been letting a few folks tell me what’s what. STOP THAT NOW. Okay and thanks, Beth
Beth–You make an important point. I think social media and writing forums have made this kind of thing a much bigger problem than it used to be. Tips turn into dogma with too much repetition, and the Dunning Kruger effect takes over. The least qualified people are the ones who insist everybody follow the “dogma.”
I think shortly after learning about the rule show, don’t tell, I also heard the rule “rules are made to be broken. Learn them so you can break them.” I have talked with other writers too about how telling can be useful at times and it’s more important to learn to balance telling with showing.
Patricia–That’s the best rule to remember! I spent a lot of my early writing years trying not to tell anything. My stories all read like bad one-act plays.
Perhaps a posting about looking carefully for scenes that can be cut out and swaped with telling to speed up the pace and why it’s important.
Very informative article, Anne. I do believe that writers need to understand the reasoning behind show don’t tell in order to break the rule. There should be a good balance. Telling is easy. Good telling is sometimes easier said and done.
Brita–You’re right. Good telling is like good stand-up comedy. It may look easy, but it’s one of the toughest things to do well.
EXCELLENT points. There’s no question that too much showing exists, even in published writing by big names. Sometimes I want to say “spit it out” already!
Nina–You’re right that a lot of published work has these problems. Unfortunately editors may buy into the “rules” and forget the primary rule of “don’t waste your reader’s time.”
I heart you so much for this post.
K. Scott–Thanks! <3 🙂
Nicely done. Though I am still one of the morons who think that writing what we really want to write, plus doing some basic formatting and proofreading, IS better than academic perfection with the, nowadays standard, boring, plagiarized, and predictable sermon cooked-up by uncaring professionals.
Since Quatermain, Indiana Jones, and Lara Croft that part of the market IS satiated. Still we have thousands of copycats who celebrate themselves as authentic authors, which they are not. Especially with authors knowing about rules of publishing and choice of targeted customers.
Andre–Perfectionism is the enemy of art. And marketers know nothing about what speaks to the human heart. Con men may win for a short time, but they lose in the end.
As a new visitor to your blog, let me first say “thank you” for this post. I happened upon it through my Twitter feed and the title caught my attention. I’m currently editing a first draft and constantly trying to hold fast to the “Show Don’t Tell” rule. Your post certainly puts it in perspective for me and I love your examples. The comments from your other visitors add further validation. I totally agree with having a balance between the two that works best for the story. Thanks again.
Jet–Welcome! Editing can be such a chore when you’re trying to follow everybody’s rules. It’s good to keep them in mind, but in the end the only ones that matter are 1) be clear 2) be entertaining. Best of luck with the edits!
Anne, I’m so happy you followed up on this subject – this is something close to my heart and we had discussed it at one point in the recent past in relation to something else (I don’t remember what, sorry!) . Excellent post, you hit all the bases! There is at least one academic scholar who got really annoyed with the Show Don’t Tell rule, as explained in this NYT Book review of her book “The Possessed”: http://thingser.com/post/19941 (She is presently living in Turkey and reporting for the New Yorker, she has just written a fantastic piece of headscarf wearing in an Islamic society!)
Like her, I am “deeply, viscerally bored” by literary writers like Nobel Prize winner Ohran Pamuk , and I couldn’t agree more when she writes about “craft” or the art of learning how to write: ““What did craft ever try to say about the world, the human condition, or the search for meaning?All it had were its negative dictates: ‘Show, don’t tell’; ‘Murder your darlings’; ‘Omit needless words.’ As if writing were a matter of overcoming bad habits — of omitting needless words.”
Yes, writing well is not a matter of “overcoming bad habits” and adopting formulas like “show, don’t tell”, and you do an excellent job of explaining this in a clear, contemporary way (“6 reasons”, the title of your post, I love it!) that lends itself to our Twitter age that loves numbers, boxes, slots.
Just one more point (the 7th reason? Actually more a conclusion): by leaving behind the “show, don’t tell” rule, a writer empowers herself to “enter” into the mind (and emotions) of her characters, and that is something the movies cannot ever do. Hollywood is condemned to “show don’t tell”, a camera’s eye cannot delve into a human mind and heart!
Claude–I think it was our discussion that sparked this post. Several people since have asked me to write about it. I saw that New Yorker article, but I haven’t got to it yet. But I agree 100%. I used to read mostly literary fiction, but I don’t any more. So many literary writers seem to take an adversarial position with the reader. The “That’s for me to know and you to find out” attitude.
There’s great insight in your comment. I’d never thought about it, but yes, the assumption usuall is that you are wrong and bad and need to be fixed. But that’s the opposite of what you do to teach a skill. When I directed amateur actors, I would always praise what they did well, and try to expand on that, rather than make them self-conscious about their “faults.”
I do think that a good actor can take the screenwriter’s words and turn them into emotions the viewer can know. But there’s lots of less than stellar acting out there that can leave us in the dark.
Well yes, a great actor can transmit a lot of what he feels and what’s on his mind – but not EVERYTHING, the way a good writer can! To me, that’s the big difference between literature and the movies and theater! And that’s why, no matter how advanced Hollywood will get technologically, with HD and 3D and who knows what might come next (a video with smells?), literature, with its old-fashioned tools of pen and paper (or computer screen) will always be around and is here to stay!
This said, if I were young and starting out today, I’d go for screen writing and try and make my own movie!
Great post. My best example of being blindsided by a show don’t tell fanatic was when I lost first place in a short story contest. My story was a first person narrative. He called it all telling and no showing and brought my score down.
Christine–People who judge contests often follow those “rules” way too literally. And if they don’t get that first person narration always involves “telling”, they’re going to miss a lot of great writing. Too bad you got dinged on that in the contest. I hope you submitted it somewhere else.
Okay, thank you. I NEEDED this one. I’m a first time (probably only time) auth… er, writ… uh, I mean to say dabbler at story telling in written form. My story is told in two first person voices. Two characters on opposite sides taking turns narrating the story from their own perspective. A writing coach I’ve worked with introduced me to the theme of “Show, don’t tell”. I worked so hard at going through my story and changing virtually every instance of telling to an attempt to show… and…
Somehow crashed. The story lost it’s interest. I second guessed everything to the point I can’t figure out how to go back and fix it.
Eric–I’m so glad this got to you before you gave up. What happened with your story happens to so many writers. It’s what Kris Rusch complained about in her post about “weird writing rules” When you follow all those rules, your story gets drained of all personality. It becomes bland and generic. I often write from two narrative POVs, but I like one in first person and one in third for clarity. Maybe it would help you to try that with one of your POV characters. First person HAS to have a lot of telling. I hope you saved the first draft. Best of luck with it!
I did not (though with some effort I might be able to reconstruct.) But, inspired by your blogpost and the comment to which I initially responded, I have just finished what I think I will consider my last rewrite of the first chapter… last, that is, until I have completed the entire review. The initial 2 scenes required extensive rewrite for technical purposes.
Details that aren’t important here. I want to thank you for providing the shove that hopefully helps me get through the complete thing!
Eric–Never say never–or “last rewrite”. LOL. But that’s fantastic to be back in the groove and feeling excited about your book again. I always do my final rewrite of the first chapter last. There’s always something that changes in the editing process. But what’s important is that you’re satisfied with it now.
I want to thank you for saying this. I write fanfiction for fun and I was told “show don’t tell” when the story was in first person. Just…what, boggle MY MIND and reading this comment several months later makes me super happy to see. Also I really like this post, it was hilarious and I’ll be coming back for more 😀
Camille–Welcome! You can do LOTS of “telling” in first person, especially in chick lit and YA. in fact the subgenre of gossipy chick lit would entirely fall apart if you left it out.
“Everybody knows Serena’s so-called boyfriend is gay and she just parades him around because she’s really in love with Ursula’s ex, but Ursula is such a b**** that….” Show don’t tell is most important for literary novels. Otherwise, it depends on the genre.
I’m one of those newbies who have been warned to “show-not tell”. I’ve worked hard to show actions. Then, when my editor looked at my writing, it was, “what are they feeling/thinking, etc. because the images used to Show didn’t convey the feelings and thoughts, etc.
Back to work. Wish I had read this earlier!
Angelique–You are not alone. We’ve all been there. It took me a long time to figure out why editors kept asking me those same questions. I went “but I’m showing-not-telling!”
Anne,
I can’t tell you how delighted I am to have read this post. For so long, I’ve been slavishly following the “correct” writing rules and prince among them has been “show, don’t tell”. I totally understand that with travel writing, which is my own niche, this rule may need to be applied more than fiction but it still brings a smile to my face to realise it doesn’t have to be applied 100% of the time. This has given me encouragement to trust my own voice, my own writing style.
Thanks You!
John
John–I think travel writing is not unlike fiction. Yes, you want your reader to sense the ambiance of a place–you want to smell the scents and taste the food, etc, but you also want to be able to say “the trains usually run 2 hours late”. There are times when telling is exactly what people need.
Thank you so much for this one. I had my ah-ha moment on this watching Stephen King read a short story to a university crowd. I enjoyed the story but I was amazed at how much he told and and how it didn’t detract from the story. It’s been my experience that show don’t tell examples work far better in writing advice than in a novel. Sometimes “it was a dark and storm night” is all I need to know about the weather.
On an unrelated note, your blog isn’t recognizing my wordpress ID, when I click on the connect button it tells me something on your blog isn’t configured properly for it.
And then when I submitted the comment it seems to have picked up my WP ID just fine. Go figure.
Frank–How great to have your ah-ha moment from Stephen King in person! I love this: “show don’t tell examples work far better in writing advice than in a novel” LOL!
I’m glad the blog ID thing righted itself. My webmaster is out sick and I have no idea how to deal with the inner workings of this blog. There are so many complex things to go wrong in a WordPress.org blog. I wish we could move to regular WordPress, so I could run everything myself the way I did when we were on Blogger.
I wish I had been there live, I caught it on youtube. I had been coming around to this realization after a marathon of “look inside” on Amazon. I didn’t start off looking for it, I was just reading the best sellers as part of reading genres I want to write in, found several books I bought as well. But I noticed every one of them did a lot of telling and then I watched the King video and everything just kinda clicked.
Frank–Oh, I’m such a fogey I immediately pictured it happening live. Ha! It’s amazing how Stephen King used to be considered a “trashy writer” and now he’s published in The New Yorker and a respected “man of letters.” That was true of Dickens, too. Literature often enters the realm of “classics” through the genre door.
Such a useful post – again! Thank you. Show-Don’t-Tell is a great guideline for making us think more deeply about our writing, but it can force an author to overwrite a scene. It’s a fine balance. To me, it comes down to providing enough information and emotion on the page for the reader to comprehend what’s going on. The sparer the writing, the more elegant the prose, but authors must make sure that the reader’s mind can fill in the blanks effortlessly.
Gay–It certainly is all about balance. Show-don’t-tell teaches the beginner to move from the four-year old kind of “telling”, but it can often push them into overwriting or murky storytelling. Clarity should be the goal, not following rules.
It was such a breath of fresh air to see this post. I spent the first five years of my writing career learning rules like showing vs telling, and I’m spending the next five trying to forget them. Thanks again.
Ken–Ha! I think that’s the story of most successful writing careers. Learn the rules, then learn to break them. Still it helps to know what they are. Thanks!
Fantastic post, Anne. When I first started writing, I was really afraid of telling until I learned you have to summarize sometimes to keep the story moving. All the great ones do it. Your examples of purple prose had me laughing. Been there, done that, though I hate to admit it. 🙂
Jan–It’s those summaries that really stump us when we’re trying to show not tell. We think we have to go through every boring thing the character does. Sometimes somebody in your critique group will say “why didn’t you show her getting dressed?” or “when did she go to the bathroom?” They don’t realize readers really do not want to know about this stuff. They want to get on with the story! .
A heartfelt thank-you for stating what should be obvious, but never is. As I often say, don’t let your writing get in the way of your story.
Nicholas–That needs to be on a tee-shirt “Don’t let your writing get in the way of your story!” Thanks for that!
Oh the ferrets! Thanks for a great, long laugh!
However, I think I’m in trouble. I love showing and not telling. It’s my favorite challenge. How can I know if I’m over-doing it? I mean, I thought your Lula Mae bit was still telling!
I would have written: “Lula Mae’s hair gleamed copper in the candle light, her cleavage deepening as she leaned forward to select a fork. Bubba, reddening to the top of his scalp, and sprouting beads of perspiration over his brow, somehow tipped over his wine. Jim Bob groaned under his breath, leaned back in his chair, and openly stared. And this was only the salad course.”
Too slow? Too much?
Katharine–I’m glad you like my ferrets 🙂
It all depends on how important Lula Mae is to the story and what genre you’re writing in. In a mystery, where she’s a minor character, this would be way over the top. If it’s romance or erotica, and these are major characters, it’s perfect.
Aha! Got it. Thanks! 🙂
I totally ran into each of these foibles when I began telling my story. Although I’m strong on dialogue, showing everything lacked intimacy of character with the reader. It’s been both fun and a challenge to find balance. I also find that scifi and fantasy have particle challenges in world building. If action scenes predominate readers are left with too many unanswered questions.
Redd–I started out writing plays, so I had the same problem. My first novel read like a script and readers felt no connection with the characters. Interesting about scifi and fantasy. I know as a reader that I often skim through the battle scenes to get on with the story.
Thank you for this! More and more new and old writers need to hear this basic truth. Too much of anything is too much. Thanks, Anne. Happy A-Z Challenge.
Joylene–You’re exactly right. Everything in moderation!
This is such a relief to read. I’ve been writing non-fiction my whole adult life but just finished my first novel. Unaware of any of these rules, I submitted a few chapters to an online writing group. The “show don’t tell” comments have had me pulling my hair out. More often than not, they are asking me to dilute my actual voice and what I think are the best parts of the story. Or to rid the story of the exposition and internal dialogue. All that’s left is dialogue and some descriptions of physical reactions and scenes. And what’s so wrong with adverbs? People almost always suggest me to delete them. If the goal is evocative prose, then perhaps show/tell suggestions are helpful. But, as you so aptly expressed, there are only so many ways to describe human emotions. Once in a while, I think it’s okay to say someone is angry and move on with the story. I’m tempted to go back and re-read some of the best novels of all time (a la Tolstoy, Eliot, Austen) and look at them through the show/tell rubric. I’m guessing they did a lot of telling. I think it does a disservice to writers to not assume that they can’t eventually find their way to powerful telling and powerful narrative prose. But if they’re never allowed to do it, they can’t learn. Showing is great in smaller doses but only gets you so far sometimes in terms of communicating actual themes and overarching ideas. So, that’s my long way of saying thank you for giving me the courage to write the way I want to write, regardless of the hard and fast rules.
Jane–Going back to read the classics always helps. 🙂 Everybody working on a first novel has a lot to learn, but very often people don’t know how to tell a writer what needs work. People may be saying “show don’t tell” when what they mean is there’s a problem with pacing and they want you to get on with the story.
It’s true you don’t want to lose your voice. But newer novelists tend to have trouble with exposition (we all do–it’s one of the toughest things to get right) and how much to reveal in the opening chapters. If you’re like most of us when we start out, you’re probably pausing the story to get in a lot of information you don’t need to convey until later, when you’ve got your reader hooked on the story. It may be there’s nothing wrong with what you’ve written but it needs to be presented later in the book.
I always say “the first draft is for the writer and the second is for the reader.”
Oh, God. I can’t tell you how helpful this post was. I had to walk away from an editor who wanted EVERYTHING shown. She hated narrative. It was a nightmare and had a seriously negative effect on my self-confidence. Thank you!!
Vanessa–Editors like that are murder on the writer–and the READER. I’ve tried to read books that were obviously edited by somebody with the show don’t tell bee in her bonnet. Probably a frustrated poet.
Three pages after somebody enters the room we finally get to the point–like that the guy is a fireman. But by then the house burned down and we don’t care. Next book please…
Scrape your self-confidence off the ms. and read some current bestsellers. You’re going to find a whole lot of telling. Especially if the POV is in the first person.
lol – THANK YOU! 🙂