Rejection and failure make you think of quitting? Be like Thomas Edison instead.
by Ruth Harris
Rejection can make us want to cry and/or break things but rejection is almost never personal and often has nothing to do with your book, either. The sting of rejection can be bullied into submission with a can-do, eff-you spirit or maybe chocolate or a few glasses of wine—sometimes consumed together.
Rejection is temporary, a passing storm that helps writers develop the necessary thick skin and confident attitude, but it’s a sense of failure—often intertwined with fear—that can make us want to give up and quit.
Frazzled, Frustrated, and Fed up. (Notice all the f-words in this post?)
I’ve been hearing a lot of negativity recently from writers who want to give up. They question their talent—and their sanity. They’ve tried everything—free books and promos and newsletter and ads and the latest, hottest genre—and “nothing” works. When they look around they see what looks like the ashes of the ebook boom: declining sales, unpredictable algo changes, and the indie stars from a few years ago who have left the scene.
As a long-time editor, publisher and writer, my experience has been that we (and our books) fail much more than we succeed. Knopf editor Robert Gottlieb in his book Avid Reader: A Life, talks about the successes and the famous writers but about the failures—the books remaindered, languishing in warehouses, the authors fallen into obscurity—not so much. Understandably, because, after all, who wants to read about (or write about) flops, failures and the forgotten? Doesn’t mean they didn’t happen, though.
I’ve experienced failure from both sides of the desk and want to take a deep dive into the subject since set-backs are an inescapable part of the business we’re in. To start with a bit of perspective: It’s not just us. Most businesses fail. Period.
I live in New York where new restaurants open every week and even more close. Ditto clothing boutiques, hair salons, and dog groomers. Malls across the country sit empty and iconic retailers like Sears and Kmart, RadioShack and J.C. Penney are shutting stores.
With that larger perspective, use your creative abilities to consider ways to reframe failure before you act on your impulse to give up.
Failure as Foundation.
In her June 2008 speech at Harvard graduation J.K. Rowling, currently the richest writer in the world, explored “the benefits of failure.” She described her own failures—she was divorced, jobless, a single parent and as poor as one could be without being homeless—and said that “rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”
Struggling to meet ends and so depressed she considered suicide, she reached out for help and returned to Harry Potter, an idea she had begun years earlier but abandoned. For J.K. Rowling, failure was not final but the beginning of a new ending.
Should you, like J.K. Rowling, return to an old idea or an abandoned draft? Has the time come to review and reconsider?
Award-winning writer Holly Lisle offers a detailed guide to revising a book.
Maybe the book that fizzled needs the sizzle of a new idea or a new shot of energy. Gloria Kopp, a web content writer, shares seven ways for writers to generate new ideas and includes a clickable list of online writing and idea generating tools and resources.
Failure as Part of the Job.
Olympic figure skaters miss their jumps, world-class gymnasts don’t always stick the landing and medal-winning divers splash the entry. Famous golfers miss their putts, Roger Federer loses sometimes, and even Ted Williams struck out.
Failure is part of their career and even those at the top continue to practice their serve, their swing, their fastball and curve. They spend time in the batting cage, in the rink, on the apparatus. They reach out for help and seek mentors and coaches, learn from their competitors, and from those who came before them.
Ballerinas take class or do barre everyday. Singers practice their scales and I recall reading that, as a young singer wanting to improve, Frank Sinatra paid a retired opera singer to teach him a series of vocal exercises which he added to and practiced throughout his life.
For a writer, editing, revising and rewriting are invaluable forms of practice. Editors, beta readers, and crit groups can take the place of tennis coaches and batting gurus. The book that flopped or was never finished (Harry Potter anyone?) can get a second or third chance because dialogue, grammar, descriptions, info dumps, and go-nowhere scenes can all be reworked and improved.
Course Correction or Radical Reinvention?
When your career is stalled and “nothing” is working for you, you have the advantage of being invisible. Because no one is paying attention to you, you can take big risks. A pen name can be liberating as you venture out to try something new and different.
Collaboration
If you’ve been on your own, what about collaborating with another writer or even several writers?
- Lindsey Buroker did it.
- So did Stephen King and Peter Straub.
- Joe Konrath did it, too. More than once.
- So did Anne and Catherine Ryan Hyde.
Writing for the Market
Lots of controversy about “writing to market,” but if you feel you are getting nowhere, why not consider it? As a young editor, I started out writing magazine articles but wanted to try writing something longer. A book!
At the time, gothic romance was a hot genre. I read a handful of top-selling gothics, wrote an outline and a few chapters to prove to an editor (and myself) that I could do it. Eventually I wrote several gothics and, in doing so, began to learn how to write a book.
I did not find writing to market soul sucking. Perhaps because I viewed writing to market as a starting point, found it educational, and liked getting paid. If you feel stuck and decide to try writing to market, why not think of it as a stepping stone?
Here are a few how-to’s to help get you started:
•How to write your first romance novel.
•Chuck Wendig lists 25 things to know about writing horror.
•Susan Spann shares 25 tips for writing a mystery.
•Bestseller David Morrell’s 5 rules for writing a thriller.
•Six secrets to writing suspense.
•How to write action-adventure.
Failure—or fear of failure?
Are we talking failure? Or the fear of it?
Is fear of failure holding you back? Twenty-five noted women from Michelle Obama to Dolly Parton discuss the fear that might have paralyzed them and the steps they took to overcome it.
What if you’ve actually failed? Author Ray Williams talks about coping with failure from a psychological point of view.
Techniques for dealing with failure and moving on.
The book that failed. Or did it?
- That new book you were sure was going be your break-through sank without a trace.
- Those newsletters “everyone” said was a sure fire route to fans and sales landed in spam folders.
- The promo that worked so well last time fizzled this time.
- Those widely hyped Amazon and Facebook ads turned out to be expensive and time consuming to set up and maintain. They made a dent in your wallet but not your sales graph.
Maybe that book is languishing because it needs the right hook. Paula Balzer at Writer’s Digest goes into detail about how to write the hook that hooks.
How about a better blurb?
Or maybe no one’s buying your book because no one can find it. Here’s how to choose categories and keywords that can shelve your book where people who might like it can actually find it.
What if the promo that was great for “everyone,” did zilch for you? Bestselling author Cara Bristol gives 8 reasons why.
Before I Go (and you give up), Heed these Two “Failures.”
“Failure is success in progress.” —Albert Einstein
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.” —Thomas Alva Edison
by Ruth Harris (@RuthHarrisBooks) April 30, 2017
What about you, scriveners? Have you ever felt like quitting the writing game? Did piling up rejections make you feel as if you couldn’t cut it? Have you felt like a failure? What helped you through that period?
If you’re wondering what Anne is up to this week, she’s got a new post over at her book blog. It’s entry #27 in her series, Poisoning People for Fun and Profit. This month she’s discussing the drug Warfarin. Did you know it was originally developed as a rat poison? It is deadly in large doses.
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OPPORTUNITY ALERTS
Nathan Bransford’s Forums. This blog got its start when Anne landed a guest blog spot on Nathan’s blog. Now you can too. He often takes his favorite comments from the forums as guest posts. The forums are newly revamped and there’s lots going on. Check them out out!
BACOPA CONTEST $3 ENTRY FEE. Categories: poetry, flash story, creative nonfiction, literary fiction. $400 prize given in each genre. Flash limited to 750 words. Creative nonfiction limited to 3,300 words. Literary fiction limited 8,000 words. For poetry, no word limit. Deadline May 31, 2017.
Creative Nonfiction magazine seeks TRUE personal stories or profiles about people starting over after a failure or setback. Up to 4000 words. Paying market. $3 submission fee. Deadline June 19, 201
EMERALD THEATRE 10-MINUTE PLAY CONTEST $10 ENTRY FEE. Theme: “That’s so gay.” A character must say the words, “That’s so gay.” Two to four characters. No children’s shows or musicals. Ten pages (10 minutes) max. Will be staged in strict “black box” style. $300 prize Deadline June 30, 2017.
KINDLE STORYTELLER PRIZE £20,000 prize. (Yes, you read that right.) Open to any author who publishes a book through KDP between February 20 and May 19 2017. Any genre, including fiction, nonfiction and collections of short stories – so long as they are more than 5,000 words and previously unpublished. Deadline May 19, 2017.
Haven Writers’ Retreat. “Come find your voice in the woods of Montana with New York Times best-selling author, Laura Munson, and find out why over 400 people say that Haven Writing Retreats changed their lives. Offering special discounts for readers of this blog for both June retreats. June 7-11, and June 21-25
Boyds Mill Press accepts unagented submissions of children’s book manuscripts. Highlights for Children owns the press.
Thanks, Ruth.
I think of rejection as a temporary setback that can morph into failure if a writer doesn’t disregard the urge to quit.
I’m glad you mentioned Rowling. She’s a perfect example of pulling oneself out of the quicksand.
Kathy—Thanks for the words of wisdom: rejection as a temporary setback with emphasis on the “temporary.” Puts it all into necessary perspective!
I needed to read this today, Ruth – thank you! (I’m also bookmarking it to read tomorrow. And possibly the day after that…)
Tara—Yes! Not just you, either! (and I’m the one who wrote the d*mn thing) 😉
Me too – I’ll be revisiting your article whenever I need a kick in the butt!
Great article, and filled with a variety of useful links to other helpful resources. This should get a lot of comments and shares.
I’ve had reasonable success with two of my three novels, so I should be grateful for that. Instead, I find myself focusing on the one that failed, and thinking of ways to get more sales for it. This article is a timely reminder for me that, as an indie author, I can give that novel “a second or third chance because dialogue, grammar, descriptions, info dumps, and go-nowhere scenes can all be reworked and improved.”
Thanks!
Mike—Amazing, isn’t it?, how we forget success and dwell on flops when the opposite should be true. We’re stubborn and wildly irrational creatures!
Yeah, I’m not satisfied unless I’m batting a thousand. Ha!
Thank you for the very kind article. (snork.)
Louis–My pleasure. (ha)
Our writing skills serve us in many ways. And I am back pecking away at the novel.
It’s funny, I normally write dark fantasy or Westerns (hooray for picking a commercially unviable genre where readers give you a hard time for being English AND a girl!) and yeah, I’m not really getting anywhere. I keep thinking about how much I read mysteries and thrillers, so maybe it’s time to change gears to something more profitable. But I don’t see it as ‘selling out’ because I read them anyway!
Icy—May I politely suggest you discard the “selling out” cliché? Don’t forget that Elmore Leonard started out writing Westerns (even tho he was neither a Brit OR (god forbid) “a girl”) and found his niche in petty criminals and their doings. Since you love mysteries and thrillers, it seems only logical that you would be drawn to writing one. Whatever you decide, don’t give up!
Oh I’ll still keep writing. But yes…I do have a horror/thriller bubbling away in my mind…
Ruth, I LOVE this: because you are unnoticed, you can take risks! Can you see me smiling from there? A deliciously ironic statement, and yet actually very clever.
I wonder if people simply go into this with an unrealistic expectation. I’m thinking if they knew how many books a trad published mid-list author usually sells, they would be somewhat shocked. A bestseller in Canada is 5000 books. A *bestseller*! I’ve had a few books hit double that, and I consider myself lucky. But many students are shocked to find that many trad authors don’t sell 2000, and some don’t reach 1000.
Melodie—Couldn’t agree more about the lunacy of unrealistic expectations. Where people get the idea that writing is easy is way beyond me! As to being unnoticed, invisibility was a great strength for the early pulp writers who wrote a variety of genres under a variety of names. No reason today’s writers can’t take the same approach, especially if they are feeling frustrated and want to keep trying until they find something that works well for them.
Hi, Ruth, you never fail to hit the nail on the head. A wonderful post that I’ll return to again. And again. I think someone else said that as well but it’s that good. So much information too. I know when I started writing for lit journals, I just sent in whatever I had ready to go. And you know what? I was rejected. That’s when I realized that writing to a specific market or themed journal was the way to go. I did that and was amazed how many pieces were picked up for publication. And like you with your gothic romances, I learned how to be a better writer in the process. At least I hope I did. 🙂 And I’m getting your book. What a deal? Hugs your way, Paul.
Thanks, Paul. That’s also when you started to get professional, right? Makes all the difference and thanks for pointing this out!
Thanks, Ruth. An encouraging post. I’m always sending out my short stories and sometimes I have banner years. Mostly, not. I wonder why I keep trying. But, I like writing and maybe one day I’ll put out that book that someone reads.
Stanley–think of your work and persistence as a slow but sure learning curve. That plus the fact that you like writing is a large part of the equation. Congratulations and carry on!
I have so many rejection letters from agents that I could paper my entire house, inside and out. But it just ticked me off more than anything and I refuse to quit. I feel that I’ve heard enough good things about my books that I shouldn’t quit and I don’t want to anyway. No, I’m not a bestseller, but I can’t “be” one unless I continue writing books. So, I found myself a publicist and now I’ll see how that helps me. Hopefully I’ll learn from the experience, whether I feel books or not. Onward and upward is my motto.
Patricia–your great attitude and willingness to try something new is just terrific and exactly what writers need to survive and thrive! Brava!
Instead of giving up after many rejections from literary agents for my first novel, I self-published, and one novel is now seven. I’m not selling as many as I would like, but they are out there.
Yay, Darlene, congratulations! Seven novels? Impressive! Sales a different matter as every writer knows. 😉
Fantastic article Anne. Rejection is not failure. Poignant post. 🙂
Debby–This post is 100% from Ruth. I just read and learn when she posts on the last Sunday of the month.
Duh, sorry Anne. My bad. I saw it was Ruth’s and sometimes get mixed by the time I’ve read the article without scrolling up again. My apologies Ruth. My comment thought remains though. 🙂
Debby-Thanks! You’re so right: rejection is not failure. And, to think it through, even failure is not failure. As Edison said, just another way to find out what doesn’t work. Carry on!
Right on Ruth. And again, my apologies, as I just left one on Anne’s comment. I love both of your articles and posts and mistakenly wrote Anne’s name instead of yours for this post. 🙂
Debby—Not to worry. 🙂 After all, didn’t I just write a post about how to handle rejection? LOL
Lol! Touche Ruth! 🙂 🙂
Ah, rejection. Thanks for a fine post. To add to your F word collection, I’d add “flexibility” as it never hurts to tweak things, revise, reconsider. Thanks.
CS—Thank you! Flexibility—perfect addition to our vocabulary of F words. Much appreciated!
Thanks Ruth, great advice here. I will set it aside for future reference (actually I’ll upload it onto Thingser which is my favorite social network for keeping things, i.e. uploading articles I don’t want to lose – and that I want to share with like-minded friends!)
I was thinking the other day that self-publishing is a sort of learning school, as I watch my self-published books sink out of sight in the Kindle Store tsunami of books (over 5 million today, I believe, and no end in sight – after all, Google has digitized 30 million books, so Amazon still has some way to go!). When you self-publish, you learn to write to market, you learn about blurbs and pitches and hooks and all sorts of neat marketing stuff, and at first, I thought that if my books “didn’t make it”, it would be a disaster, that I too (because of them) would never make it as a writer, that no agent or publisher would ever want to get near me. In short, a pariah in the publishing world!
But then, lately, I’ve realized that’s not the case at all. I’ve learned a GREAT deal about writing and the profession’s challenges in general. I’ve learned to write at the drop of a hat, thousands of words a day, without ever getting tired. I’ve learned to edit other people’s works and make them better (very satisfying that, to be able to help!) and I’ve made many friends. Self-publishing is great for networking! Hey, maybe I’m getting ready for that famous blockbuster hidden in my trembling pen (or rather, stuck in my old wobbly computer)! Oh, perhaps it won’t happen tomorrow or even the day after, but some day…
Yes, hope is always the last thing to go out the door!
Claude—Thank you for the intelligent, inspiring perspective, and especially for pointing out that your book isn’t you. Lots of writers seem to overly personalize and confuse the two to their own detriment. Thanks, too, for the tip on Thingser. 🙂
Stacking rejection letters isn’t for sissies. I remember being destroyed by the first one, maybe the second one, too. After that, I barely gave the letter a second thought, unless the agent/publisher offered advice. What I did notice was the closer I got to scoring a publishing deal, the better and more detailed the rejections became. If you try to read with objective eyes, rejection letters say a lot more than what’s on the page. Writers need to learn to read between the lines. Not much anyone can do with a form letter, but the longer they hone their craft, the more personal the rejection letters become. I also made a few agent friends along the way. Writers also need to stop thinking of agents as the be-all-end-all to their writing career. Only we can make our writing dreams come true. Don’t give that power away!
Sue—Thanks for sharing your experience about rejection—it comes with the job and is best ignored unless someone offers useful advice. Your point about writers’ fantasies about agents is important. Really, it’s just the old Cinderella story in a new guise. Ain’t nobody gonna rescue you and, altho I know lots of agents, I never yet met one who was a Prince. 😉
Such a good point, Sue. I recently received a rejection with a hint as to “why,” and it included encouragement for “good writing.” At least a step beyond the form “not a good fit for my list at this time” letter. Or the absolutely worst: No Response. I love what said about agents – that we must not think they are the be-all-end-all for us. We have to hold onto the power…. Best of luck!
Thank you for this helpful post, Ruth. Even if we follow all of these tips to the best of our ability, it’s still an enormous crap-shoot to create a bestseller. You just have to love to write anyway.
Jennifer—You’re so right. Selling is a huge gamble. Loving to write is key. 🙂
I publish stories in prestigious zines every year and speak at plenty of conferences, and still eat rejection constantly. It is absolutely part of the business, especially the beginning stage. Thanks for writing an encouraging post on this.
John—Sounds like you’re on exactly the right course. Publishing, speaking—and eating rejection. Welcome to the club!
What a great article, thank you! This really helped me get my headspace back today. 🙂
kj—Thank *you!” Anne and I always appreciate knowing that our posts have been of help.
Thanks for this, Anne, I needed it. Clicks on ads not converting, reviews not materializing, alternating between “I need visibility to find my true fans” and “Ok, I’ve got an audience, now what do I do?” etc. On the other hand, skin’s thickening every day and I keep hearing that inner voice saying, “Keep going.” Picking up my bat and ball and going home is not an option.
ktomsovic—Ruth over here! We all go through it. Use your bat and ball to hit one out of the park! 🙂
It’s weird but I never felt like quitting before I received my first contract but I have a few times after. Writing is so much work, you have to really love it to keep going.
Susan—Interesting observation about quitting and accurate about the amount of work involved! Thank you for sharing. 🙂
I think much of the problem authors have with material being rejected stems from the emotional entanglement they have with their material, coupled with the fact that publishing (especially trad publishing) is a business and there are often sound business-related reasons why a manuscript isn’t accepted, none of which relate to the quality of the manuscript or the self-worth of the author. That was true, too, of Rowling: her Harry Potter books went through the traps before her agent could find a publisher – and this despite the brilliance of her writing. We shouldn’t laugh and point at the publishers who turned the Harry Potter books down, either: at the time, nobody knew how they might sell and because publishing often runs on thin margins, publishers tend to be risk-averse.
Matthew—Thanks! Astute and on-target. 🙂
As a writer, who have already self published two books one a cook book the other about how to use the brain and mind more effective, I have been rejected so many times, but I never allowed that to stop me from writing, which I love doing, even when recovering from a painful heart surgery. I find that if you love to do something that is good, then it’s up to you not to allow anyone or anything prevent you from doing it, keep doing it until you see some results.It my not be the result you are looking for, but keep at it.
kb24n—Thank you for such a brave and inspiring comment!
I found myself whoo-hooing, not boo-hooing, after reading a rejection letter this week, because it was the first I’ve gotten with any personalized comments, and it encouraged me. They said my story was vivid and moving, and they’d be ‘delighted’ to read more of my work in the future. Perhaps I’m naive to take that seriously, but I don’t think so.
Tricia—Encouraging comments are so motivating! Good luck!
Thanks for this great, thorough post. 🙂 — Suzanne
patriciaruthsusan—Thank you!
Hello Ruth Harris
You have a wonderful insight into the minds of authors and the world at large I am sure.
Thank you for a wonderful website full of information. I’m one of those authors who never had time even to do a single book release – so no publicity – no agent – no press releases – but since I did not spend a minute in these things – I found lots of time to write 10 Books Across genres – all published on Amazon – 3 books of Tales including a Readers Favorite award, 4 Little Volumes of Structured Poetry, and 3 Large Sci Fi Novels of Interstellar adventure and travel all with Readers Favorite and customers 5 Star Reviews.
I’m now writing another 3 books including a Period Novel Based 1971 in India – so life is sedate and I do feel I have left something for posterity. I am saving your website address so that one day when I finally decide to launch something, I’ll write you a letter of thanks for all the tips. I never went to a traditional publisher at all by the way, so never had to bother about rejections ha ha ha.
Your achievements are truly impressive and congratulations for your success – wishing you many more
Deepak Menon
Deepak—thank you for the kind words and congratulations on your productivity. Bravo!, too, for avoiding rejection! Wishing you all kinds of success!
I have written 6 children’s books, five being in a series, and I am currently working on another, a ‘stand-alone,’ book, plus a 35,000ish word novella for adults.
Like everyone else I have been rejected by various literary agents and publishers, some don’t even bother to reply. Nevertheless, I will not give up and keep going. The way I see it is, what have you got to lose? The above article is very interesting and encouraging for any writer with regards, to hopefully getting published, also the replies from other people talking about their writing and giving advice was very helpful too.
One area of publishing to steer well clear of is vanity publishing, I was offered a contract from a company, called Austin Macauley, heard of them? Where they wanted fees ranging from £1900, £2400, £4400. Needless to say I didn’t reply, as I couldn’t afford such fees anyway.
Good luck to everyone.
Sarah—You are so smart! Author scams abound, they are the scummy underbelly of publishing and very expensive. Writer Beware keeps track of them. http://www.sfwa.org/other-resources/for-authors/writer-beware/
Also, David Gaughram blows the whistle on the worst and the latest of the scammers. https://davidgaughran.wordpress.com
Thank you.
Vanity Publishers give writers false hope by praising their manuscripts, just as Austin Macauley did with me. Fortunately, before receiving their contract, I viewed their website in more detail, which stated: ‘we follow traditional publishing etiquette’s, however, we have the option of the ‘hybrid’ model, where the writer maybe asked to contribute to the publication costs,’ before going onto research what other people had said about them, as well as vanity publishers in general.
Also, why are Vanity Publishers spending money advertising on the internet in magazines, and elsewhere inviting writers to send in manuscripts, instead of concentrating on promoting their existing writers’ books?
Sarah—Vanity publishers are in business to make money. Not to promote their authors & their books. I’m glad you escaped in time!
I was off-topic with my earlier comments about vanity publishers. Anyway, back to the main point about rejection, ten minutes ago I checked my emails, and have just been sent another for my children’s book. However, the way I view it is, the more rejection letters you receive is a sign of determination, and you’re ready to give up.
……..Sorry I was meant to say you’re not ready to give up.
Ruth – This is by far the post that every writer needs to check out. Thank you for putting “this struggle” into perspective. Your timing couldn’t have been better. I’ve released my 2nd novel – and though it is getting strong reviews – there’s one negative one mixed in – and it is just agony to read. Of course, I’ve focused on the negative – and wonder – what book has this person read? And how many more of these awful reviews are coming my way? But then, the truth is, not everyone is going to love your work. And sometimes, you have to put on your big boy pants and suck it up. I’ve read many of the links in this post – and – have found my big boy pants. I’m pulling them up now. Thanks again.