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September 11, 2011 By Anne R. Allen 58 Comments

14 Do’s and Don’ts for Introducing Your Protagonist

14 Do’s and Don’ts for Introducing Your Protagonist

by Anne R. Allen

 

Introducing your protagonist to your reader may be the single trickiest job for a novelist. You have to let readers get to know your character in a very short time–then entice us go on a journey with this person into a brand new world. If you tell us too much, you’ll bore us, but if you tell us too little, you’ll confuse us.

Remember these are just guidelines. Opinions about what works in an opener can be very subjective. Just last week I had an agent ask me to lop off the first third of a book before she’d consider representation—and on the same day the same opener won first place—and a request for a full ms. read—in a contest judged by an acquisitions editor at fairly big publishing house.

No. I didn’t take either offer. More on that soon. Stay tuned to this blog.

But this week an editor suggested I add a new first chapter to another book–which gave me a wonderful “aha” moment. For me, that was the perfect solution to an opener several beta readers had found difficult. We’re always told to start a book “in media res”—but there’s such a thing as starting in the middle of too many things. I was hitting readers with too much at once. And that can confuse and bore at the same time.

Writing the perfect opener is a balancing act. Not for the faint-hearted.

Thing is–when you’re first diving into a novel, you’re not introducing your characters to readers; you’re introducing them to yourself.

All kinds of information about your MC will come up. Maybe she lives in a noisy apartment building. Or her mom is a gung-ho Amway dealer. Perhaps her next door neighbor is recuperating from a terrible accident. Or she feels a deep hatred for Smurfs. This stuff will spill out in your first chapters. Let it. That’s the fun part.

But be aware you’ll want to cut most of the information or move it to another part of the book when you edit, if you’re writing for publication.

It helps to remember this formula: first drafts are for the writer; revisions are for the reader.

Even if you’re not going the agent/publisher route, you need to keep your reader in mind. Self-publishers are judged, too, and reviewers and readers can be snarkier than any agent.

Here are some do’s and don’ts that should help in the revision process.

1) DON’T start with a Robinson Crusoe opening.

That’s when your character is alone and musing. Robinson Crusoe is boring until Friday shows up. So don’t snoozify the reader with a character:
  • driving alone in a car
  • sitting on an airplane
  • waking up and getting ready for the day
  • out on her morning jog
  • looking in the mirror
Especially looking in the mirror. It’s not wrong, but it’s a seriously overdone cliché.

2) DO open with the protagonist in a scene with other characters

Show how he interacts with the world. Two or three is ideal: not too many or the reader will be overwhelmed.

3) DON’T give a lot of physical description,

Especially of the police report variety. All we know about Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice is that she has “fine eyes.” We don’t have to be told the color of Sam Spade’s hair, or Inspector Morse’s weight. The reader’s imagination fills in the blanks.

4) DO give us a few unusual physical markers that indicate personality.

Interesting characteristics like Nero Wolfe’s size, Hercule Poirot’s mustache, and Miss Marple’s age show who these characters are and make them memorable. But if all you say is they have green eyes and curly red hair—you’ve only told us they’re identical to the MCs of 90% of all YA novels, according to one agent. We don’t need to know the hair/eye thing unless it’s important to the story—like Anne of Green Gables hating her hair and dying it green.

5) Don’t present your MC as a flawless Mary Sue.

A Mary Sue (or Gary Stu) is the author’s idealized fantasy self—an ordinary person who always saves the day and is inexplicably the object of everyone’s affection. A Mary Sue will make your whole story phony, because a too-perfect character isn’t believable (and is seriously annoying.).

6) DO give your MC strong emotions we can identify with.

We need emotion in the opening scene. We don’t have to identify with the situation, but with the emotion: If the character is furious because his roommate keeps watching that DVD of the Smurfs—even if you’ve never heard of a Smurf, you’ll identify with the anger, because everybody’s been angry.

7) DON’T start with a POV character about to be killed

Or otherwise eliminated from the storyline. (Ditto DREAMS, or putting the MC in a play or videogame.) If you get us intrigued and then say “never mind”, the reader will feel his time and sympathy have been wasted.

8) DO introduce the MC as close to page one as possible.

Don’t waste time on weather reports or long descriptions of setting. (I did note in the thread last week that a large number of you are extremely fond of weather reports, but make sure you’re doing something emotional and original with them.)

Remember that modern readers want to jump into the story and get emotionally involved. Also, a modern reader doesn’t need the kind of long descriptions of far-off lands that Victorians loved.  Even if we’ve never been there, we all know what London, or the Alps, or rain forests look like because we’ve seen them in films and on TV.


9) Don’t start with a prologue.                   

Don’t take my word for it. Listen to the agents:

Colleen Lindsay:

“In pages that accompany queries, I have only once found an attached prologue to be necessary to the story.” 

Jenny Bent:

 “At least 50% of prologues that I see in sample material don’t work and aren’t necessary. Make sure there’s a real reason to use one.” 

Ginger Clark:

“Prologues: I am, personally, not a fan. I think they either give away too much, or ramp up tension in a kind of “cheating” manner.”

Andrea Brown::

 “Most agents hate prologues. Just make the first chapter relevant and well written.” 

Laurie McLean:

 “Prologues are usually a lazy way to give backstory chunks to the reader and can be handled with more finesse throughout the story. Damn the prologue, full speed ahead!”

Even usually ultra-tactful publishing guru Nathan Bransford says:

 “A prologue is 3-5 pages of introductory material that is written while the author is procrastinating from writing a more difficult section of the book.”

Ouch.

I know you’re all wailing. But try removing the prologue. Read chapter one. Does it make sense? Could you dribble in that backstory from the prologue into the story later—while the actual plot is going on?

A prologue is like a first draft—it’s for the writer, not the reader. It isn’t the overture: it’s the tuning-up. Like a character sketch, a prologue usually belongs in your book journal—not the finished project.

Go ahead and write one to get your writing juices flowing. Use it to get to know your book’s basic elements. It can be mined later for character sketches, backstory and world building, but try to cut it in your final revision.

10) DO put the MC in a place and time right away. 

If the MC is thinking or talking to someone—where is he? As I said, we don’t want a long description of the scenery or the weather, but do give us a few sensory details and let us know what planet we’re on.

11) DON’T start with dialogue.

Readers want to know who’s speaking before they’ll pay much attention to what they say. It’s just like real life: if strangers are shouting in the hallway, it’s noise. If you recognize the shouters as your boss and the hooker from 12B—you’re all ears

12) DO dribble in your MC’s backstory.

You can do this in thoughts, conversations and mini-flashbacks—AFTER you’ve got us hooked by your MC and her story.

13) DON’T plunge into action before introducing the characters.

The introductions can be minimal, but they have to make us feel connected enough to these people to care

Example: If you hear some stranger got hit by a car—it’s sad, but you don’t have much curiosity about it. If you hear your neighbor got hit by a car, you want to know when, where, how badly she’s injured, etc.

14) DO give your MC a goal.

All characters need goals in each scene. But the protagonist needs a compelling, over-arching goal for the whole book. He can’t be easily satisfied. He must want something very badly. This especially important for memoir writers: “I was born and then some stuff happened and I met some people and then I had a catastrophe but I pulled myself out of my misery and now I love life and God and multilevel marketing”—is not going to keep readers turning the pages.

A novel or memoir needs to be about one big thing, and the character has to have one big goal. Too many goals? You may have a series. That’s good, too.

So what about you, scriveners? What do you want to read about a character first off? How can the author entice you to go on a journey with this character? What do you find difficult about introducing a character?
*******
posted by Anne R. Allen (@annerallen) September 11, 2011

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Filed Under: Writing Craft Tagged With: Anne R. Allen, Gabriele Lessa, how to start a novel, Jenny Bent, Laurie McLean, Mary Sues, Protagonist, Robinson Crusoe openings, Write it Sideways

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About Anne R. Allen

Anne writes funny mysteries and how-to-books for writers. She also writes poetry and short stories on occasion. Oh, yes, and she blogs. She's a contributor to Writer's Digest and the Novel and Short Story Writer's Market.

Her bestselling Camilla Randall Mystery RomCom Series features perennially down-on-her-luck former socialite Camilla Randall—who is a magnet for murder, mayhem and Mr. Wrong, but always solves the mystery in her quirky, but oh-so-polite way.

Anne lives on the Central Coast of California, near San Luis Obispo, the town Oprah called "The Happiest City in America."

Comments

  1. Spook says

    September 11, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    Great article! I rarely bother with a prologue unless it's completely and utterly indispensible (and they're never more than about a page long anyway)
    However, have you ever read Game of Thrones? Bestseller with very irritating prologue – though it did intrigue me into the rest of the tale. Is there a time and place for prologues, do you think?

    Reply
  2. Ruth Harris says

    September 11, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    Beginnings are hard. I always go back and rewrite mine when I'm "finished."
    I must have written the 1st chapter of Decades 50 times. Seriously. And I recall Dennis Lehane talking about how many times he had to write & rewrite the beginning of Mystic River until he got it right.

    I agree with Spook about prologues. Husbands & Lovers has a brief prologue…it's a long, multi character book & there needs to be a way for the reader to understand from the beginning that the characters can and do interact—there's a gun in a Tiffany bag involved so boring it's not.

    Reply
  3. Alex J. Cavanaugh says

    September 11, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    Well, I didn't do too bad. My second book does begin with my main character alone in his shuttle, preparing for passengers, but they show up quickly. And would you believe my publisher asked for a short prologue to my first book?

    Reply
  4. Michael Offutt says

    September 11, 2011 at 6:16 pm

    That's wierd that so many people have hate for prologues. I have to say that I read a lot and I read every prologue and have never once thought the things that you are pointing out here.

    I have a question…all of your sources on prologues come from industry professionals and none of them from people that just pick up a book and actually read? Is it possible that industry professionals similar to college professors are out of touch with the normal everyday Wal-Mart reader? At the end of the day…it is not the industry professional and the college professor that make you money as a writer. It is the woman with three kids at Wal-Mart, it is the guy (me) that walks past the Barnes and Noble and grabs the latest book written by George R.R. Martin and reads everything in it happily from "Prologue" to "Author's notes" and says to himself…"what a good book" and then puts it away.

    I guess I'm challenging the hoity toity snootiness of this because all you have here are testimonies from an elite who are giving advice on how to market a book to sell to the masses? How does Nathan Bransford, Stanford University graduate, know what I, University of Idaho graduate who works in a state job making a middle-class salary want to read?

    I respect your opinions on most of this, however, I think you're suggestions are aimed at writing that will make the elite happy and have no real clue as to what will make a middle-class shmoe happy. Maybe that's why all books that are being pumped out by the Big Six sound the same.

    Reply
  5. Tiffany Garner says

    September 11, 2011 at 6:41 pm

    Michael, I see what you're saying, but I have to agree with Anne here. The first six or seven drafts of my MS had a prologue at the beginning, and though I loved it, it didn't bring the reader directly into the action. The reader starts off separated from what's going on, instead of being a part of it. Part of this is writing for the masses–though I personally have no problem with prologues, with the attention span of most readers these days the action needs to start right away.

    I noticed that as soon as I took my prologue out of my book, my betas (who already liked my MS) were much more engaged with my MC because I started in the middle of her finding her family murdered, instead of prefacing that with her thoughts. Prologues can definitely work for some people, but the majority of the time the information can be put right into the action instead. It's not wrong to have a prologue, but it is easier to catch most (emphasis on 'most') readers' attention if you just start with chapter one.

    Reply
  6. Anne R. Allen says

    September 11, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    Spook–I did a poll on this blog last year asking how many people read prologues. About 50% said they skip them. But you're right that George RR Martin loves them. They're more accepted in high fantasy, I think.

    Ruth–Nice to hear that even you and Dennis Lehane do 50 rewrites of chapter 1. Now I don't feel so bad. And yes, of course, sometimes a prologue is necessary. People are more likely to read the short ones.

    Alex–Ha! Shows how subjective it all is, doesn't it?

    Michael–I don't think a fondness for prologues is class-specific. (And Nathan B. comes from humble small town origins.) As I said to Spook, prologues are more acceptable in some genres than others, like high fantasy. Also literary fiction as it happens–which I think is what you mean by calling those agents "elite." Actually, most of them rep genre fiction (the kind that sells in Wal-Mart.)

    Tiffany–you've said it well. A prologue makes the reader start the book twice.

    jb-Good point that the reader is going to get a lot of this info in the flap copy. But with ebooks, it will be on the Amazon page, but maybe not on your download? I don't have a Kindle yet, so I don't know.

    And of course one of the great things about rules is that you get to break them. If you don't know what they are, where's the fun?

    Reply
  7. Lexi says

    September 11, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    Anne, I'd say number 11 is plain wrong – it's fine to start with dialogue, as long as it's snappy and informative.

    And I'm not just saying that because A, I have an aversion to Rules Of Writing, and B, I've started two books that way.

    My YA fantasy begins, "I wish to acquire a dragon." Most readers read on.

    Reply
  8. Lester D. Crawford says

    September 11, 2011 at 8:22 pm

    "There is no right way to write a book; therefore, every way is wrong."
    — Lester D. Crawford

    The current draft of my current project has a 92 word prologue that contains the first mention of a recurring theme, sets an ominous tone, and foreshadows what is about to happen within the first few pages of chapter one.

    A prologue seems to begin many of the books I have read. Why do prologues seem so common if they are so despised?

    When I read the prologue to Ernest Cline's Ready Player One, my reaction was that my work would never compare, I am a fool for thinking I can write, and I need to find a real job. (However, regardless of how Mr. Cline made me feel, I am charging ahead.)

    I like rewriting, experimenting, exploring, and looking for possibilities. My prologue and opening chapter are places where I am doing a lot of trials and tests as I seek the perfect combination of words.

    I jump straight into the instigating incident as triggered by a bird who then returns at the end of the story to bring the story full circle. My protagonist is heavily flawed; I created a character sheet for him by answering the questions based upon me. When I was finished with the character sheet, I read what I had written. My reaction was, "This guy is pitiful!" When he reunites with the bird at the end of the story, the protagonist has changed. He becomes what I wish I could be.

    I think I will begin chapter one with dialogue:

    "Caw."

    Overhead, in the pine tree, sat a beautiful black bird. I ignored him and returned to musing over my map.

    "Caw."

    "What do you want, Mister Crow?"

    Reply
  9. Donna Hole says

    September 11, 2011 at 10:27 pm

    I'm not a fan of prologues either. Its rare the info isn't repeated in the middle of the book, or even scattered throughout the writing, including some during the opening pages.

    I've started my novels with a few of these Don'ts, but usually its just a place to start. As you say, and introduction for myself as the author. I'm very bad at beginnings, and have to just start somewhere, and work up to the "actual" introduction. Yep; I have to revise a lot before I get out of the "draft" phase.

    Thanks for sharing these insights. I sure wish I was going to this conference and taking your class.

    …….dhole

    Reply
  10. Anne Gallagher says

    September 11, 2011 at 11:13 pm

    I like prologues if they give us a piece of the story that will never be in the rest of the book – say the murder of the college co-ed and the rest of the book is about finding the killer and pointing fingers. If it's done well, I think they're fine.

    I have written them, and pulled them out, and put them back in again. Sometimes I think a story warrants one. Sometimes not. It all depends and as we all know, this business is very subjective.

    Best of luck at the conference!

    Reply
  11. jbchicoine says

    September 11, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    I just love-hate these lists—Love when I’m not guilty, Hate when you touch on one of my weaknesses (okay, well, I really don’t mind that either, ‘cause then I can give it some attention!)

    When I’m reading, the first few pages are important when it comes to ‘meeting’ the main character, but here’s the thing—I will already have ‘met’ the character by reading the back cover blurb before I even begin the novel! Therefore, I’m already acquainted with the protagonist’s gender, age group, maybe what world she lives in, and her general dilemma. Now, I just need to know if I can relate. I’m most interested in seeing how she feels about her circumstances. A vague sketch of what she look like is fine, but I don’t need all the details. I want some bearing in her physical surroundings, but only in how they relate to the story or character. I DON’T like reams of description, as you mention.

    Reply
  12. E. Arroyo says

    September 12, 2011 at 3:24 am

    Some great info! Thanks,

    Reply
  13. Anne R. Allen says

    September 12, 2011 at 4:17 am

    Lexi–That is a very cool opening line. It says a lot. Still, I think most people would rather have an emotional connection with the MC before they're really interested in what he/she has to say.

    Lester–Yours sounds like a very edgy book. Sometimes breaking all the rules works as well as following them.

    Mark–I repeat what I said above. I LOVE breaking rules. Especially if I can prove they're stupid. But what's the fun in breaking rules if you don't know what they are?

    Donna–I'm with you. I don't read prologues. An old prejudice from childhood. They always seemed murky and pointless. If I'm into the book, I usually go back and read a prologue at some point, but only when I want the answer to some story question. Often it's not in the prologue, and then I'm even more annoyed by it.

    Wouldn't it be great if we could all meet at a writers conference somewhere?

    Anne–Lots of times that could be the first chapter. People are more likely to read the first chapter than a prologue.

    BTW Thanks for your encouragement. It's been a while since I've been in front of an audience, so I'm a little nervous.

    Florence–I'm a huge believer in the small press. I think the nimble small publisher is the future of publishing. Has been for a while, actually. If JK Rowling hadn't been first published by a small press, YA would still be dominated by politically correct "message" books.

    E. Arroyo–Glad it's useful!

    Reply
  14. mark williams international says

    September 11, 2011 at 9:47 pm

    I read a lot of commercial crime thrillers, and it's noticeable that the likes of James Patterson and Michael Connelly, with sales figures to die for, regularly use prologues.

    When in the UK last month I went into several bookstores and randomly selected from the plinth best-sellers and found pretty much 50/50 books with and without prologues.

    I concur with Lexi about writing rules. When you get to specifics like "don't have a prologue" or "don't open with dialogue" that's a world apart from a general guideline about writing long descriptive scenes or weather reports reports.

    As for agents as "experts"… That's a debate for another time. Suffice here to quote Michael: "Is it possible that industry professionals similar to college professors are out of touch with the normal everyday Wal-Mart reader?"

    A third of the Amazon top sellers are indie, because the gatekeepers are out of touch with what readers want to read.

    Reply
  15. Amalia Giebitz says

    September 12, 2011 at 7:21 am

    I recently chopped a prologue and the first two scenes off my Chapter 1. Thank goodness I let the thing sit a looong time before I came back for revisions. I had been attached to my opening words. They are thankfully gone now. I appreciate your helpful insights. I now start with my MC arriving in town (driving her car, I know…sigh) but immediately gets a flat tire, and has to interact with nasties. Anyway, I feel like it jumps into the story right away now, and so does my first reader. Yay!

    Reply
  16. fOIS In The City says

    September 12, 2011 at 12:49 am

    "It was a dark and stormy night." Just joking. Thanks for the great tips in this post.

    Next week comes at a good time for me since I am about to send out my first novella and need some tips about the "little" guys out there who still value them.

    Ruth will have all my attention. Robert Parker was a talented and decicated mystery writter, producing two series in books; Spencer on TV and Jesse Stone moview made for TV. It's good to know his work will continue.

    Thanks as always, Anne 🙂

    Reply
  17. tfwalsh says

    September 12, 2011 at 9:04 am

    Great post – especially the last point… the character's goal is sometimes the hook that keeps the reader reading…

    Reply
  18. Jubileewroter says

    September 12, 2011 at 10:13 am

    Great reminders. I often hear unpublished writers defend their prologue as absolutely
    necessary.

    Reply
  19. Ted Cross says

    September 12, 2011 at 10:22 am

    I know you won't care, but I love prologues in fantasy novels. Every single fantasy novel that I love most has a great prologue in it. Any reader who skips prologues…well to me they aren't true readers.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      August 11, 2014 at 4:14 am

      Reed–I've learned about fantasy prologues since I wrote this post three years ago. I never read much fantasy, and epic fantasy isn't big with agents/big 5 publishers, but now that self-publishing is so common, writers can write for readers and not agents. So if you write fantasy, go ahead and put in that prologue. Your readers probably expect it.

      Reply
    • Reed James says

      August 11, 2014 at 3:00 am

      I think fantasy is the one medium where a prologue is acceptable. But if you're in other genres, probably shouldn't have one. But Fantasy is almost as much about the world building as it is the story, and the prologue can both introduce the themes and threats of a fantasy story as well as give some interesting world building.

      Reply
  20. Laura Matson Hahn says

    September 12, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    Anne: You do the best posts on the internet. Clear. Clean. Confident and – best of all – Actionable! Thank you. I don't mind a prologue – but I hate it when a prologue is a jazzed up scene from later in the book to hook you (ie: Water for Elephants). It works but is dishonest (imho). I'd also like to add that everyone of my favorite books has NOT had "hooking start". (ie:The Help and one no one's heard of: The Heaven Tree Trilogy (best ever book) But then, I love literary fiction and am willing to invest some chapters to build a relationship. What I look for first is good writing.
    Here's my current books Opening paragraph.
    ***
    Squatting on the crescent of rock jutting out from the creek’s edge, six-year-old Celeste released onto it her bundle of forest treasure while staring into the soft flowing gray-green water. Sniffing deeply, her nose filled with the scent of mud and new green as she wiggled her toes inside her shoes and looked up at grandmother with hopeful eyes. “May I today, Gamma?” she asked.
    Glancing at the houses on the hillcrest overlooking the creek, Gamma winced. News traveled fast in small towns. No doubt those glassy eyes would report them on the grassy slope, shoeless, sockless, skirts pulled up to their knees, splashing their feet, prompting another lecture from Myrtle on dangers to her daughter’s health. But none of that had ever stopped Gamma before, so she wrinkled her nose like a rabbit and nodded. ***

    Reply
  21. Anne R. Allen says

    September 12, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    Amalia–I think most writers tend to start the story a little too early in rough draft, so chopping some off is often a good way to start revisions. (Then there's my WIP, which I started too far into the action. I have to be different 🙂

    tf–In my first version of this list, I forgot the "goal". Probably should be #1.

    Jacqvern–Thanks. Yes, sometimes prologues are necessary.

    Jubilee–That's the trouble. Prologues are something every beginning writer adores, because they make things easier for the writer. But not necessarily for the reader.

    Ted–High fantasy does have a tradition of prologues. I said that in the thread, but I probably should have said that it in the body of the text. But it's still good to question yourself about them.

    Funny. Most of the prologue defenders don't seem to have read the um, prologue to my list, where I said, "Remember these are just guidelines. Opinions about what works in an opener can be very subjective."

    Laura–Thanks so much. This is me blushing. Looks like a good opening scene. No time to critique here, but I'd vary the sentence structure a little. And watch those "ing" words. We all tend to fall into repetitive patterns.

    Reply
  22. Jacqvern says

    September 12, 2011 at 10:05 am

    Great points.

    I agree with all of them, so there is not much to comment.

    I like intense, action starts in a book, depending on the genre though. I agree with the prologues issue. Although, some times they are adequate and necessary, most of the times they are redundant & boring.

    Very interesting post 🙂

    Reply
  23. Cathryn Leigh says

    September 13, 2011 at 2:50 am

    Anne I seem to be strangely like you because I started to far into the story with my current project. It all made sense to me as I'd been basically dreaming the whole thing fro a month before I started writing it down. Of course I didn't really know much about my MC's past until after I was through with the first part.

    Thankfully after reading these tips I think my writing of a new first (and probably several chapters) is better on par with your rules.

    She does start dodging rain drops on the way home to her apartment and lets down her long braided hair, but she soon greets her fiance and they get into an argument over something he read in her diary…

    I'm opting for no prologue with this fantasy to allow the reader to explore and learn about the world she ends up in with her.

    I have a prologue in another 'old' work of mine and I can see how it was for my use and would probably allow the reader to figure out what's going to happen pretty quickly.

    Anyway enough of my ramblings. it's bedtime for me on the East Coast. I really need to start page marking these awesome tip blogs of yours.

    :} Cathryn Leigh

    Reply
  24. Anonymous says

    September 13, 2011 at 6:15 am

    "First drafts are for the writer; revisions are for the reader."
    Dang! That's why I like writing so much…and tend to get stuck on subsequent drafts. Again and again you make so much sense regarding this writing stuff.
    On the prologue controversy, I don't write them, but I like to read them. Just goes to show it takes all types.
    Keep on blogging because we need these opinions/ "rules" to think about and try on for size.
    And bask (or would that be basque?) in your terrific and well-deserved success.
    Yours, with love forever,
    —Rrrandy Wurst
    P.S. If I ever get my butt out of this sling, maybe I'll have some success, too.

    Reply
  25. Julie Musil says

    September 13, 2011 at 1:48 am

    Anne, these are all excellent tips! And you're so right about leading with emotion. I love an opening where I instantly care about the character and what happens to her.

    Reply
  26. christine says

    September 13, 2011 at 10:00 am

    As an unpublished writer – well, a couple of short stories in the local newspaper when I was a BA student last year – I find your posts very interesting – thank you:)

    Reply
  27. Matthew MacNish says

    September 13, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    Anne, Susan Quinn suggested I follow your blog, and I'm glad she did! Looks like you got a great understanding of the craft of writing.

    Nice to meet you!

    Reply
  28. Isis Rushdan says

    September 13, 2011 at 2:52 pm

    Hi! I rewrote the beginning of my first novel that is currently with my agent like 15 times because I kept writing it for me, instead of the reader.

    I think you listed some good tips, but sometimes the rules are meant to be broken. The first line in my novel is actually a line of dialogue. At first, I was against dialogue, for the reason you listed above, but then a contest judge recommended I move it up to immediately make the reader intrigued about the MC. Later contest judges loved it so I kept it.

    I loved your one sentence pitch from your contest. Sounds like a book I'd enjoy.

    Reply
  29. Roni Loren says

    September 13, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    Great post! 🙂 I'm going to add it to my Friday mash-up.

    I made the cardinal sin of putting a prologue in my book 2. My agent didn't cut it but I'm waiting for editor feedback. I kind of heart it. *pets shiny prologue* But I figure if my editor nixes it, then I can at least use it as bonus material on my website. *pats prologue on the head*

    Reply
    • Eldonna Edwards says

      October 8, 2017 at 4:18 pm

      This made my day. LOL

      Reply
  30. Anne R. Allen says

    September 13, 2011 at 5:21 pm

    Julie—It’s true. We just naturally care more about somebody we know than a stranger.

    Catherine—I think a lot of us who learn too many of these rules tend to start the story too late. We’re so worried about giving the reader action, we forget they have to get to know the MC first. BTW—dodging raindrops is great. The point is to let the reader know who’s doing the dodging.

    Mr. Wurst—Aw shucks. Thanks.

    Christine—Always good to know the rules when you’re starting out. Later you can break them.

    Matthew—Thanks for stopping by. I’ll have to thank Susan.

    Laurel—I’ll have to thank Elle, too. It would be fun to do a post on good openings. Maybe I could get people to post their favorites.

    Isis—Doing rewrites for agents can be infuriating. Sometimes they’re going for the market, not what works for your book. But I'm glad to hear you found the right opening. As I say, these are just guidelines and rules are made to be broken.

    So glad you checked out the opening of my contest winner, Sherwood, Ltd. Hoping to have some good news about it soon.

    Veronika—glad you found it useful. Much appreciate the linkage

    Reply
  31. Anne R. Allen says

    September 13, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    Roni–Thanks. It's an honor to make your Friday links. Great idea about putting the prologue on your website if it gets nixed by your editor!

    Reply
  32. Laurel Garver says

    September 13, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    Hi Anne, I just found your through Elle Strauss's blog. Ditto what matthew said!

    Beginnings are my Waterloo. I've rewritten mine a dozen different ways and still worry that I'm throwing too much at the reader at once. I'd love it if you'd post sometime on what it looks like to open well, especially how to create an emotional connection between reader and protagonist.

    Reply
  33. Veronika Walker says

    September 13, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    Great stuff as always!! I'm linking to you in my next post. 🙂

    Reply
  34. Aubrie says

    September 13, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    Excellent blog! I do a lot of the do's, so that's good. I have, on occasion started with my MC talking, but only if he/she is saying something interesting.

    Reply
  35. Jennifer Hillier says

    September 15, 2011 at 12:05 am

    As usual, really great advice, Anne! My openings always stink and it takes multiple drafts to get it right.

    "Robinson Crusoe is boring until Friday shows up." BWAHAHAHA – so funny, and so true!

    Reply
  36. Suzannah Windsor Freeman says

    September 15, 2011 at 3:01 am

    That's great that you're turning this into an opportunity to teach, Anne! And it was my pleasure to share such a great article (and others) from your blog. Good luck with your workshops!

    Reply
  37. Stina Lindenblatt says

    September 14, 2011 at 10:21 pm

    This has got to be the most thorough list I've seen yet. And I love the quotes from the agents. Nice supporting evidence.

    Reply
  38. Anne R. Allen says

    September 15, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    Aubrie–I used to start all my books with dialogue, and I still feel the urge, but you're right that it needs to be really compelling.

    Stina–When I started reading all those comments, I decided to collect them. I actually have a lot more. Didn't find any pro-prologue ones.

    Jennifer–What's important is starting somewhere. Second draft is when you get to decide where.

    Suzannah–Thanks for sharing the my blogposts! And thanks for the encouragement. I'm starting to get nervous now…

    Reply
  39. August McLaughlin says

    September 16, 2011 at 2:41 am

    Thanks for the informative, practical post, Anne! Have a blast at the conference. I look forward to following your insight.

    Reply
  40. J.L. Campbell says

    September 16, 2011 at 3:15 am

    Interesting post, as always. I'm glad I learned the rules, so I knew what I was doing while breaking them. I've done a couple of the Don'ts listed here and it hasn't harmed me in terms of publication.

    Reply
  41. Clarissa Draper says

    September 16, 2011 at 11:23 am

    These are wonderful. I try and follow them. All of them except the prologue bit. In the genre I write, usually the murder happens first chapter, it's not really a prologue (although my publisher is insisting I call it that) but it's the chapter before my main character is introduced.

    Reply
  42. Donna K. Weaver says

    September 16, 2011 at 5:59 pm

    Great stuff here. I'm going to copy it and paste it in a separate document for future reference. =D

    Reply
  43. Graeme says

    September 17, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    Fantastic article! Thank you. Time to look at my opening pages again, side by side with your points. I heartily agree about prologues. I don't write them and have never enjoyed reading them.

    Reply
  44. Patricia Gligor says

    September 17, 2011 at 4:12 pm

    Great topic! I especially liked your advice in #9, "Don't start with a prologue." I hope that everyone who is in the planning stages of their first novel reads your post. I wish I had read it before I wrote the first draft of my women's mystery/suspense novel, "Mixed Messages."
    I did eventually omit the prologue and the epilogue (yes, I had one of those too) and it definitely improved the novel.
    http://pat-writersforum.blogspot.com/

    Reply
  45. Eldonna Edwards says

    October 8, 2017 at 4:25 pm

    Looks like you touched a tender nerve RE: the prologue. THIS I KNOW features a 1-page prologue that takes place in the womb, so a little difficult to sliver in later. I had also written a prologue for my WIP but got rid of it. As you mentioned, it’s so much better to filter the information in later than drop a lazy info-dump at the front of the book. We have so little time to hook the reader; why waste it on backstory? SO much gold to mine from this post.

    Also, I’m stealing snoozified.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      October 8, 2017 at 4:36 pm

      Eldonna– We have had many, many discussions about prologues on this blog. (This one is from back in 2011.)

      They are so difficult to do well that most agents reject a manuscript that has one, especially when it’s used as a crutch for poor storytelling or an infodump.

      But popular, professional writers use them all the time. It’s one of those “rules” that is really a guideline for beginning writers. I’m sure your editor at Kensington made sure yours passed muster. 🙂

      Reply
  46. Stilito says

    May 12, 2018 at 3:03 pm

    I know I’m 7 years late but I also know that I haven’t even been a writer back then. I just wanted to let you know that I’m really amazed at the fact that this post is from 2011 but it’s still really true about writing. This post already grabbed my attention and I find all of it absolutely true. Without knowing, I actually did things the way I should and in the way shown in this blog which means that we maybe have similar way of thinking. I recently started to read blogs about writing and looking for ways to improve my writing more. I’m content now, and I’m confident but I believe that there’s still a long way for me to go until I reach the level I want (which can probably never happen). Since I’m a perfectionist, I keep on trying.

    Your blog is simply incredible and I can’t wait until I read some of your newer posts, or even more of your older ones. I can’t believe that you’re doing this (writing and posting in this blog) for so much time, it inspires me to be persistent at what I do. I have a book that I intend to publish, once I finish it, of course, so without persistence, that would be an impossible task. Thank you for giving me motivation and useful advice! I wish you good luck with your blog!

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      May 12, 2018 at 3:11 pm

      Stilito–Welcome to the blog! Ruth and I have been at this for a long time, haven’t we? Enjoy browsing around the blog, or you can find lots of info in the book I wrote with Catherine Ryan Hyde, HOW TO BE A WRITER IN THE E-AGE, and my new book on author blogging THE AUTHOR BLOG.

      Reply
  47. Innocent bwire says

    June 23, 2020 at 5:53 am

    Good stuff here appreciate ……still working on my first thriller

    His presence at the premises created a nimbus of power allover the downtown area-seven in the capital of wazalendo. His arrival had been preceded by a breviloquent call from the ministry of defence informing the hospital director that mxf002 was on his way to the facility. Minutes later a convoy of several armoured vehicles and ear hungry sirens sounds announced his arrival.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      June 23, 2020 at 11:18 am

      Innocent–Thanks for stopping by. Ruth and I do not offer critique services. If you want your work critiqued, I suggest CritiqueCircle.com.

      Reply
  48. simnett says

    May 4, 2024 at 2:18 am

    Many years later (aka- your Google search foo is excellent!). I was amused by 3, given the Maltese Falcon opens with a paragraph that described Sam Spade to a V (including hair color), and Morse’s rather odd entry in his first book described him as “lightly built.”

    The prologue point is much discussed as you say. Some slices of the thriller genre require them so much that chapter one is routinely described as “Prologue” even if it is actually chapter one. Given that the most commercial book of the last 25 years had a prologue (albeit described as chapter one, but it was a prologue) and JK Rowling was a newbie author, it is a bit hard to see how they are the kiss of death. tbh plenty of whodunits start by breaking two of these rules- a “prologue” where the POV character dies.

    One challenge is that you often get told “learn your craft,” which suggests a significant amount of reading the masters in your genres. Then you get told the best sellers can break the unbreakable rules, because they are best sellers. But then you point out the rules are often broken by these same authors in their first or early books, at which points the critique rather moves into the stop being difficult territory [an actual conversation with one of the agents you namecheck here went exactly like this].

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      May 4, 2024 at 9:37 am

      Simnett–As you say, this is a 13 year old post, and things have changed a good deal in the publishing business since I wrote it, including the “Kindle revolution.” Agents are not the gatekeepers they once were. The most important rule for landing an agent these days is “be famous.” Many “writing rules” have been tossed aside. There’s more head-hopping and self-indulgent description and, yes, more prologues in newly published books. (Although you still want to call it a first chapter when submitting to agents.) The truth is, beginning writing will always look like beginning writing, and both agents and readers can usually spot it even if they can’t pinpoint what the problem is.

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. How to Introduce the Main Character – writersblueprint says:
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    June 9, 2016 at 7:34 pm

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Anne R. AllenAnne R. Allen writes funny mysteries and how-to-books for writers. She also writes poetry and short stories on occasion. She’s a contributor to Writer’s Digest and the Novel and Short Story Writer’s Market.

Her bestselling Camilla Randall Mystery Series features perennially down-on-her-luck former socialite Camilla Randall—who is a magnet for murder, mayhem and Mr. Wrong, but always solves the mystery in her quirky, but oh-so-polite way.

Ruth Harris NYT best selling authorRuth is a million-copy New York Times bestselling author, Romantic Times award winner, former Big 5 editor, publisher, and news junkie.

Her emotional, entertaining women’s fiction and critically praised novels have sold millions of copies in hard cover, paperback and ebook editions, been translated into 19 languages, sold in 30 countries, and were prominent selections of leading book clubs including the Literary Guild and the Book Of The Month Club.

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