Writing advice to keep the turkeys from getting you down.
by Ruth Harris
Helpful writing advice—
“There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.” — Somerset Maugham
“Writing has laws of perspective, of light and shade just as painting does, or music. If you are born knowing them, fine. If not, learn them. Then rearrange the rules to suit yourself.” — Truman Capote
“There are no laws for the novel. There never have been, nor can there ever be.” — Doris Lessing
Advice on reviews and reviewers—
“A bad review may spoil your breakfast, but you shouldn’t allow it to spoil your lunch.”— Kingsley Amis
“Unless a reviewer has the courage to give you unqualified praise, I say ignore the bastard.” — John Steinbeck
“Don’t read reviewers or reviews for any reason, good or bad. Avoid those at all costs. They can become mind worms. In other words, believe in your own writing and keep learning and having fun.” — Dean Wesley Smith
“Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.” — Christopher Hampton
“The only time I’ll get good reviews is if I kill myself.” — Edward Albee
Writing advice on character, plot and storytelling—
“I do not over-intellectualize the production process. I try to keep it simple: Tell the damned story.” — Tom Clancy
“Remember: Plot is no more than footprints left in the snow after your characters have run by on their way to incredible destinations.” — Ray Bradbury
“I like books in which things happen.” — Hilary Mantel
“For me, any story I tackle begins with the human relationships and not the plot.” — Celeste Ng
“I always try to tell a good story, one with a compelling plot that will keep the pages turning. That is my first and primary goal. Sometimes I can tackle an issue-homelessness, tobacco litigation, insurance fraud, the death penalty-and wrap a good story around it.” — John Grisham
“The king died and then the queen died is a story. The king died, and then queen died of grief is a plot.” — E. M. Forster
Writing to market—
“Perhaps I write for no one. Perhaps for the same person children are writing for when they scrawl their names in the snow.” — Margaret Atwood
“Write for yourself, and then worry about the audience.” — Stephen King
“Write for yourself, not for a perceived audience. If you do, you’ll mostly fall flat on your face, because it’s impossible to judge what people want. And you have to read. That’s how you learn what is good writing and what is bad. Then the main thing is application. It’s hard work.” — Wilbur Smith
“If I haven’t any talent for writing books or newspaper articles, well, then I can always write for myself.” — Anne Frank
Sex, libraries and the G spot—
“A library is a place where you can lose your innocence without losing your virginity.” — Germaine Greer
“For women, the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.” — Isabel Allende
Agents and publishers—
“If Moses were alive today he’d come down from the mountain with the Ten Commandments and spend the next five years trying to get them published.” — Anonymous
Editing, revising and rewriting—
“I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.” — Oscar Wilde
“I handed in a script last year and the studio didn’t change one word. The word they didn’t change was on page 87.” — Steve Martin
“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very’; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.” — Mark Twain
“Most of my work consisted of crossing out. Crossing out is the secret of all good writing.” — Mark Haddon
Inspiration—
“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” ― Jack London
“Inspiration comes from so many sources. Music, other fiction, the non-fiction I read, TV shows, films, news reports, people I know, stories I hear, misheard words or lyrics, dreams. Motivation? The memory of the rush I get from a really good writing session—even on a bad day, I know I’ll find that again if I keep going.” — Trudi Canavan
“Good writing excites me, and makes life worth living.” — Harold Pinter
“Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.” — Stephen King
“When I was writing Kitchen Confidential, I was in my 40s, I had never paid rent on time, I was 10 years behind on my taxes, I had never owned my own furniture or a car.” — Anthony Bourdain
Writing routines (or lack thereof)—
“I don’t have much of a routine…I work when there is something due or when I am really excited about a piece.” — Nora Ephron
“Just write every day of your life. Read intensely. Then see what happens. Most of my friends who are put on that diet have very pleasant careers.” — Ray Bradbury
“Keep a small can of WD-40 on your desk—away from any open flames—to remind yourself that if you don’t write daily, you will get rusty.”— George Singleton
“Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.” — Robert A. Heinlein
“If I don’t feel like writing on a certain day, I just go to the cafe and hang around.” — Elizabeth Berg
Shit, crap and housework—
“You don’t start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap and thinking it’s good stuff, and then gradually you get better at it. That’s why I say one of the most valuable traits is persistence.” — Octavia E. Butler
“The best time for planning a book is while you’re doing the dishes.” — Agatha Christie
“Writing advice is bull****, but sometimes bull**** fertilizes” — Chuck Wendig
“Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts.“ — Anne Lamott
“All first drafts are shit.” — Ernest Hemingway
Sales and pay checks—
“The first page sells this book. The last page sells your next book.”— Mickey Spillane
“The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.” — Robert Benchley
Natural talent—
“Some critics will write ‘Maya Angelou is a natural writer’—which is right after being a natural heart surgeon.” — Maya Angelou
“I was too heavy to be a jockey and too honest to be a producer, so I became a writer.” — Leon Uris
“Writing is a job, a talent, but it’s also the place to go in your head. It is the imaginary friend you drink your tea with in the afternoon.” — Ann Patchett
“Easy reading is damn hard writing.” — Nathaniel Hawthorne
“The first four months of writing the book, my mental image is scratching with my hands through granite. My other image is pushing a train up the mountain, and it’s icy, and I’m in bare feet.” — Mary Higgins Clark
Writing advice for wannabes—
“I get a lot of letters from people. They say: ‘I want to be a writer. What should I do?’ I tell them to stop writing to me and get on with it.”— Ruth Rendell
“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.” — Dorothy Parker
“First of all, whatever you do, work in a field that has something to do with writing or publishing. So you will be exposed to what people are writing about and how they are writing, and as important, so you will be exposed to people in the business who will get to know you and will call on you if they are looking for someone for a job. Secondly, you have to write. And if you don’t have a job doing it, then you have to sit at home doing it.” — Nora Ephron
“Finish the things you start to write. Do it a lot and you will be a writer. The only way to do it is to do it.” — Neil Gaiman
“When I was a little boy, they called me a liar, but now that I am grown up, they call me a writer.” —Isaac Bashevis Singer
Compiled by Ruth Harris (@RuthHarrisBooks) November 26, 2023
What about you, scriveners? Do you agree with all these quotes? Do you have a favorite writing advice quote? Drop it in the comments!
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John Steinbeck’s on reviews is a winner! Although I certainly believe Moses would spend that long trying to get the Ten Commandments published.
Not forty years? That number created a distinctive pattern in his life. It took a lot more than forty or four hundred before the Ten Commandments did get published, but published they are! 🙂
I’m pretty sure the Ten Commandments were an “instant” hit. There were, after all, more than two million Israelites waiting for him. He was gone for forty days, so it could be argued it took forty days, but not really since the Ten Commandments, were fairly quickly universally accepted by the entire nation at the time (notwithstanding the golden calf incident which was only a temporary, although tragic, misstep), within moments of their exposure to them. Even by today’s standards, two million sales in a day is unheard of. 😉
Alex–LOL, thanks. Plus he’s probably still waiting to get paid. 😉
Ruth & Anne,
I love this collection. Thanks so much. I laughed out loud multiple times.
Thanks, CS!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! This is great! I will save this and distribute it to our senior writing group. Most are novices at writing, but they produce some amazing stuff, well worth capturing. They will get a kick – and likely some confidence and inspiration – from these quotations.
Sally—Thank you! 🙂 They’ll learn fast enough!
Sage words from some of the best. Thanks. Dorothy Parkers advice about wannabe writers is priceless.
Thanks, Brenda. DP is always reliable for a bracing dose of reality. 🙂
Pretty much agree with them all, Ruth. Especially like the natural heart surgeon one. *Hi sign to Anne* Here’s one to share, and I can’t remember where it came from: “People don’t remember books. They remember sentences.”
Garry—This is great! Thanks. Don’t forget the classic: “Have I ever read anything you wrote?” Like I should know, right? 😉
A fantastic collection. I’m definitely keeping these.
So happy I found you. You are exactly what I need—permission to ignore the rules. Of course I studied the how-to-write books as I began this journey.
The first rule I learned— write what you know . . . which I did and it was published.
The second rule I learned—get published to be published. . . book two passed that course.
However, my ultimate goal was always a novel. When I cleaned off my desk this morning and found several first chapters—completely different plots—I realized all the rules seemed to compete for space in my head. When I typed what I wanted to on the pages, all I heard was “show don’t tell.” My efforts became wordy… I mean who needs to know that the cup she is holding is chipped or has painted flowers. I am now 70, with perhaps only 30 years to go… so I must get busy and past that first chapter.
I think in this blog, “Write for yourself, not for a perceived audience…” — Wilbur Smith, is ultimately what I need to push away those voices that stop me im my tracks.
Thanks!!
I think that “show, don’t tell” is best employed AFTER you have written down EVERYTHING.
(My first drafts are definitely in stream-of-consciousness, throw-the-spaghetti-against-the-wall format. Once I’ve created a pile of mostly garbage and nonsense, I dive deep into it to find and pull out the gems that are always there. That’s true for every writer – there’s a gem in those first drafts, otherwise you wouldn’t be driven to write them. And you can’t revise or edit what you haven’t written down.)
Anyway: describe that chipped tea cup with the painted flowers on it at first. It helps to create the images and scenes in your mind during that first draft so you know the story better as it develops. Once you get through that first draft, THEN go back and edit, revise, polish – that’s the time to remove the cup’s description, but ONLY if the description does not add to the scene or move the story forward.
Yes, get going on your stories. Age will eventually catch up with you. Don’t let that stop you – use it to spur you on. (I’m about to turn 70 myself.) A dear friend of mine, now 98, published her first book at age 89. She’s hard at work on her second book, but a bunch of her younger friends (like me) have encouraged her to send us her chapter drafts as she completes them, no matter how rough. That way, if she should pass away, we can collaborate with her sons to finish her story. The voice in her first book is strong enough that I believe we could infuse it into the second.
Keep on writing!
Thank you for this post. I needed it today!
I love all of these! Thanks for collecting them.
One of my favorite quotes is by Richard Bach: “A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.”
Such a fun post, Ruth! And haven’t we lived them all… the one I learned through experience: If you want to be admired, get a dog.
Melodie—So, so true! (And be sure to feed the dog.)
These are all wonderful! My Sunday was watching the snow melt and fussing over a long note to an author regarding a recent edit — then this post popped in and melted away any concerns. I had been chasing perfect communication — your post freed me from that — thanks!!
And, I agree with them all – !
Ruth, you strung together a wonderful necklace of fabulous pearls. There’s something for every writer at every stage in their career.
Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!
This is a great post. Thank you for writing it. It made me laugh out loud. My favorite? ““You don’t start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap and thinking it’s good stuff, and then gradually you get better at it. That’s why I say one of the most valuable traits is persistence.” — Octavia E. Butler
THAT I think is very true.
Actually, my favorite writing quotes (around 100) are on my Sensational Quotes for Smart People website on this webpage:
http://www.sensationalquotes.com/Writers.html
Here a few of my top favorites;
“Write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.”
— Mark Twain
“The best effect of any book is that it excites the reader to self-activity.”
— Thomas Carlyle
“Nobody ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have while trying to write one.”
— Robert Byrne
“I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.”
— Steven Wright
“Who am I to tamper with a masterpiece?”
— Oscar Wilde (when asked to change one of his plays)
“It isn’t much of a book of quotations if I’m not in it.”
— Ernie Zelinski (self-quoter and author of “How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free”) when given a book of quotations for his birthday
“Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Well!
That was a bunch of wide-ranging and contradictory-at-times advice. Thanks for sharing the thoughts of well-known authors from multiple genres and countries. Just goes to show that success doesn’t come from a formula.
I hope all is well with you and yours.
I’m pretty sure the Ten Commandments were an “instant” hit. There were, after all, more than two million Israelites waiting for him. He was gone for forty days, so it could be argued it took forty days, but not really since the Ten Commandments, were fairly quickly universally accepted by the entire nation at the time (notwithstanding the golden calf incident which was only a temporary, although tragic, misstep), within moments of their exposure to them. Even by today’s standards, two million sales in a day is unheard of. 😉
Sorry, that was supposed to be a reply to a comment way up there and I can’t seem to delete this one.
This collection of advice is going on my wall, perfect for all those grey moments…
Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes—Thanks! It’s all about perspective, isn’t it? Why do I/we keep forgetting???
V.M. — Thanks! Words of wisdom from those who have been there, done that are always greatly appreciated.
londie— “Nobody knows anything.” Said about the movie business by screenwriter William Goldman, also applies to publishing. Sounds like you’re on the right track.
Sally—You’re so right. Revision, editing, polishing are the name of the game. Separates the amateurs from the pros.
Liz—Happy to be of service! 😉
Kay—Great addition. Thanks for the RB quote!
Maria—No such thing as “perfect.” Why do we keep forgetting that?????
If I owned a printer, I’d be buying magnets and covering my refrigerator. Thank you, Anne!
Ellen— Ruth here. What!!?? You don’t own a printer? Pls share your secret. 😉
All great quotes, but I especially love Dorothy Parker LOL
I always liked this one by Harlan Ellison: “Thank your readers and the critics who praise you, and then ignore them. Write for the most intelligent, wittiest, wisest audience in the universe: Write to please yourself.”
D. D.—So true. If we can’t please ourselves, who *can* we please?
These are fantastic! They made me chuckle.
T.J. —Thanks! Who was it who said: “Always leave ’em laughing.”
I love all these quotes! Hard to pick a favorite but Greer is way up there and the Twain is perhaps the most helpful to remember!
Yvonne— Thanks! Helps to remember we’re not alone. 😉
Perhaps another way to look at this is, “If I don’t like what I’m writing, why would anyone else?”
Sally—certainly. But don’t forget rewriting, revising & editing are (or should be) part of the process.
Of course – but I’m not about to go through the revision process on work I don’t like. (I’ll do that only for contracted work – then I’m being paid to do the work.)