Remember Fabio’s male character was only a fantasy
by Harry Bingham
For a female author, the construction of a genuine, well-rounded male character offers a unique chance to cross gender barriers and explore a broad range of experiences.
However, how to effectively dive into the male psyche? How do societal norms mold the actions and mindsets of male characters?
This article aims to shed light on these intriguing questions. Let’s delve into the intricacies of male psychology, study societal standards and expectations, and address how to break the expected view of masculinity.
#1: Male Psychology 101
Moving past stereotypes, it’s critical to understand that men experience emotions as deeply as women, although societal expectations often push them into roles of stoic reliability, masking vulnerabilities.
This doesn’t mean men are devoid of feelings. Quite the contrary.
You, as a writer, can bring a believable male character to life by subtly hinting at his emotions — through a clenched jaw, a lingering stare, or a sudden burst of physical activity.
To illustrate, instead of saying “John was swamped by sadness,” you could paint a picture of him transfixed by a picture on the wall, his fingers turning pale as he clenches the edge of a table, his gaze unyielding.
When it comes to capturing men’s problem-solving mindset, be careful not to box them into a simple “fix-it” approach. Sure, some men might prefer tackling problems head-on, but it’s crucial to remember that, like everyone else, men are multifaceted and intricate. They can be just as comfortable in emotionally charged discussions as they are in proposing practical solutions.
The mental and emotional terrain of men is largely shaped by societal standards of masculinity, and this can lead to intriguing internal conflicts that give depth to your characters. These internal conflicts could manifest in various ways — from fear of showing vulnerability to insecurity when unable to “provide” or “protect.”
For example, Mike, a single father wrestling with the supposed disgrace of not being the traditional earner, grappling with the dread of being deemed less of a man. His inner dialogues could illuminate this struggle, adding layers to his persona, and break societal stereotypes.
#2: Societal Influences
The concept of “manhood” is no longer a one-size-fits-all mold. It spans from the traditional view of the physically robust, silent, unflappable individual to the modern notion that includes vulnerability, emotional openness, and shared responsibilities.
As a storyteller, it’s not just beneficial, but utterly crucial to step away from clichés and align your portrayal of manhood with these current understandings, even in historical contexts. This approach can challenge stereotypes and make your characters stand out.
Societal pressure often compels men to conform to certain roles — the reliable, self-sufficient provider who never exhibits vulnerability. Instead of adhering to these roles as fixed, display your character’s internal struggles when forced to act contrary to their true feelings, and add complexity to their character.
A character like Ethan is an example of this — a compassionate and caring man who takes pleasure in cooking and nurturing his family. Despite his satisfaction, he might still grapple with societal pressures nudging him towards a more “traditional” exhibition of manhood. This inner conflict adds depth to his character and challenges customary expectations.
Men’s roles differ considerably across cultures. Some societies primarily view men as providers and protectors, while others see them as caregivers or spiritual guides. Understanding and accurately reflecting these diverse roles in your character helps you create a more authentic and diverse representation of manhood.
A character like Amir, from a culture where men are traditionally the main caregivers, is a good example. His hurdles and experiences can vastly differ from those of a man in a society where men are expected to be a breadwinner.
#3: The Unspoken Aspects of Masculinity
Society tends to push men towards a facade of unwavering strength — yet the reality is more complex. Like everyone, men face moments of fear, insecurity, and doubt.
Showing a male character’s vulnerability doesn’t compromise his strength. Instead, it humanizes him and defies stereotypes. An example is a character like Sam, a military veteran. At first glance, he might embody traditional masculine ideals: physically robust, courageous, and stoic.
But when he’s alone, he might wrestle with the haunting specter of war, revealing a side he conceals from the world. This vulnerability doesn’t make Sam less masculine — it adds depth and complexity to his persona, making him more relatable.
Societal norms aside, men possess deep emotional reserves. Their expressions of love, grief, joy, and fear may differ from women, but who’s to say that the depth of feeling isn’t the same?
To illustrate this in a male character, consider how he reacts to emotional events.
For example, when confronted with the loss of a loved one, a character like Alex might not break down in tears. Instead, he could bury himself in work, the extended hours acting as a shield from the pain. His grief then becomes visible not through a torrent of tears, but through his evasion of places that painfully remind him of his loss.
The societal demand for unyielding strength often creates an internal conflict in men. The need to seem strong may conflict with their emotional turmoil, driving narrative tension, and shattering the cliché of the invincible man.
For example, James, a single father trying to appear strong for his children after a tough divorce. Despite projecting resilience publicly, he constantly grapples with feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. This disparity creates a complex, sympathetic character, and debunks the cliché that men must always maintain a stoic exterior.
#4: Crafting Genuine Male Characters
Creating a nuanced male character, like almost any other, begins with understanding their background, motivations, desires, and fears. Remember, your character is an individual whose personality and history extend beyond societal masculinity stereotypes. Develop a backstory that informs his behaviors and choices and confront the idea that a male character’s depth is solely rooted in his external toughness or stoic determination.
A character like Will from the film “Good Will Hunting” is a good example. Brought up in a harsh neighborhood with a turbulent past, Will is a prodigious mathematician working as a janitor. Beneath his tough exterior, he wrestles with vulnerability and fears intimacy, thus challenging the conventional cliché of male stoicism.
Dialogue can reveal your character’s personality and emotional state. Men may communicate differently than women, but their dialogue has to convey depth and nuance. Avoid overusing creative dialogue tags; simple tags like “said” often work best, keeping the focus on the dialogue itself.
For instance, Atticus Finch from “To Kill a Mockingbird”. His dialogue, regularly infused with wisdom and quiet resilience, enables readers to comprehend his character’s depth without the requirement for excessive emotional language or extravagant dialogue tags.
The narrative viewpoint is also key in creating an authentic male character. Writing from a male perspective allows you to explore his inner thoughts and feelings, providing an intimate look into his emotional world. This approach enhances reader understanding and connection, and disputes the stereotype of men as devoid of introspection or emotional expression.
Tim O’Brien’s “The Things They Carried” is a great example where the narrative provides a first-person perspective into the lives of soldiers during the Vietnam War. The story exposes the male characters’ fears, aspirations, and emotional battles, generating an authentic portrayal of men under extraordinary circumstances.
#5: Bridging Gender Divides
As a female writer, your experiences and worldviews might significantly differ from a male character. However, by empathizing with their joy, fears, desires, and struggles, you can portray these emotions realistically, making your characters, irrespective of gender, authentic and relatable.
To comprehend male experiences and accurately translate them into your writing requires psychological and sociological investigation. Research, observation, and candid conversations can prove invaluable tools for gaining insight into male perspectives.
Remember, societal norms and expectations influence shared experiences among men, but each individual’s journey is unique. Avoid resorting to clichés and flat portrayals. Instead, develop nuanced characters embodying the range of human emotions and experiences, dismantling the confines of traditional masculine archetypes.
Despite being a female writer, J.K. Rowling successfully shaped the character of Harry Potter, a young boy (and later, a young man) wrestling with a destiny far beyond himself.
She probes his psyche, exploring his thoughts, fears, courage, and the awkwardness of growing up. She encapsulates his adolescent struggles with friendships, his emerging romantic interests, his grappling with his identity, and the pressure of societal expectations. Harry’s emotions and experiences feel genuine, and millions of people love his character.
Seeing the World Through Male Eyes
Incorporating these insights into your writing process, whether during the initial creation or the developmental editing stage, can boost your storytelling abilities, enabling you to create male characters that deeply resonate with readers and break common stereotypes.
As we break down gender barriers in our narratives, we mirror the progress in our society, emphasizing the significance of empathy and understanding.
How can your understanding of the male experience not only shape your characters but also enrich your narrative as a whole? How can the male characters you create challenge societal norms, question stereotypes, and redefine masculinity in their unique ways? The answers to these questions could pave the way to your most captivating story yet.
by Harry Bingham (@Jericho Writers) August 13, 2023
What about you, scriveners? Have you ever written a POV character of the opposite gender? Did you get any feedback from people of that gender? As a reader, what do you wish opposite-gender writers would learn about yours? (Mine is that women hardly ever think about their bra size or their breast measurements unless the bra is miserably uncomfortable. 🙂 ) Guys, do these tips resonate with you? What other things would you like female writers to know about males?
NOTE: Jericho Writers is closed on Sundays, so replies to your comments will come on Monday morning.
Harry Bingham
Harry Bingham is the founder of Jericho Writers, a company offering writers expert editorial assistance. He has written a variety of books over the years, notching up multiple six-figure deals and relationships with each of the world’s three largest trade publishers. His work has been critically acclaimed across the globe and has been adapted for TV. He’s also written non-fiction, short stories, and has worked as a ghost/editor on a number of exciting projects. Harry also self-publishes some of his work, and loves doing so.
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Featured image: Original Cover of Warrior’s Woman by Joanna Lindsey, featuring Fabio
As I get my wife to read through a story with a main female character, I’d say be sure to get a man to read through a story with a male character as well.
Wonderful post! Harry, you bring to mind the process I had when writing my first epic fantasy series, with several male important secondary characters; I would pass my work over to my good friend Mark, and say – tell me where I’ve gone wrong. And he would inevitably say, “A man wouldn’t react like that. A man would get mad.” We’d laugh about it, and then he would further explain that a man is often frustrated that he can’t show exactly what he is feeling for societal ego-reasons, and that this frustration can make him angry. I learned so much by simply *talking* to a man about emotions! Your post would have helped me a lot, twenty years ago 🙂
To answer the second question given, yes, I write characters mostly from the opposite gender (female) with a few male thrown in for fun. Over the past 13+ years, I have actively solicited both feedback and a plethora of advice on how to properly flesh out my characters w/o turning them in to caricatures more suited for the video genre we all love to hate.
I write my male characters in a vein that’s hard to describe, but if I had to, I would say I describe them as the almost stereotypical male, with the cowardice of Walter Mitty combined with the lethal stubbornness of a Ray Donovan.
I think that the one thing I would suggest that female writers should know about males, is that we come in all shapes and sizes, and not the usual suave types you see in romance novels and the like.
Wow! You mean guys are people, too! 😉
I have a male character in a historical novel set in the time of the Vikings. He feels deeply when his daughter does, but fights not to show it as men are supposed to be tough. He is also conflicted when his lover is accused of witchcraft by his wife.
I hope I managed to portray it well, or at least adequately.
@alexjcavanaugh That’s a great approach, Alex! 🙂
@MelodieCampell That’s great! 🙂 Getting feedback from people who’ve experienced things you haven’t is so useful in the early stages of writing.
@G.B.Miller That’s a really good point! It can be easy to forget that readers are more likey to relate to characters who are as varied and nuanced as people are in real life.
@V.M.Sang That sounds really interesting! The overall context/setting/time period that surrounds a story strongly impacts things like societal norms and how men emote, so portraying that complexity is likely to engage readers further.
I have never read a post about a female writing a male character and how best to do that. This is fabulous. Plus, I looked at your manuscript services and am going to have a developmental edit once I finish writing my next book. Thank you for this post.
I learned how to write male characters from life. I’ve always been surrounded by boys and men of all ages (still am!), so crafting characters of the opposite sex came easy for me. Great advice, nonetheless.
While I was doing research for a presentation about the difference between erotica and pornography, I read Fifty Shades of Grey. All or almost all critics thought it was very poorly written. I agree. However, because that wasn’t available at the library when I wanted it, I read James’ Book, “Grey”. First, it’s much better written. No surprise; she’d written the three Fifty Shades novels first, so she was a better writer with her fourth book, and she’d had the opportunity to read the critiques. That book covers the same story as Fifty Shades, but from Christian Grey’s point of view. It’s a much better book, and an example of a whole novel written by a woman in a first person male narrative.
Fred–That’s fascinating! I wonder if she could just afford a better editor, now that she was rich.
I just reread my comment. It should read ‘When his daughter does.’ At her funeral, he sheds a tear, but puts it down to the smoke getting in his eyes.
VM–“When a lovely flame dies/ Smoke gets in your eyes.”
This was great advice!
I do think it’s easier to write men more diverse than women – see fathers vs mothers in most speculative fiction. But it’s true men can be written badly too.
I tend to write male characters surrounded by a bunch of female ones, & usually the main big bad is female – and actually terrifying. I find a lot of female villains, especially in film, are written to be sexy first, and maybe threatening for a bit.
My male characters tend to be the main viewpoint character. I haven’t had a man read my stories, but definitely will before I try publishing.
No doubt they act a bit strange.
However, this is complicated by my books being fantasy. Living in societies & cultures not found on Earth, it’s reasonable to expect they would act differently. Some aren’t even human.
I think this is something easy for fantasy authors to overlook if they’re not careful.
Limyaael’s Rants on LiveJournal are great for steering clear of tropes & making your characters & world real & alive. And not just for fantasy authors either.
Ada–I found this helpful, too. Thanks for the recommendation of Limyaael’s Rants! Sounds like a great blog.
It is! And often funny.
Of course, like most writing advice, it’s personal & should be taken with a grain of salt.
For example, she like to praise A Song of Ice and Fire series. Which I have *opinions* about.
But she’s very good about making you think more logically about your world/characters & open your mind to new ideas.
Reading her rants has helped me grow as a writer and I think would be best for when you’re in the revision stage, or stuck.