Tropes of “the Other Woman” are as old as Lilith
by Anne R. Allen
In a workshop recently, I was gobsmacked when one writer criticized another for using a story element that’s much loved in women’s fiction. It’s the one where the heroine discovers she’s the “other woman” in her man’s life, when she thought the relationship was on its way to the altar.
The women in the group were eating it up. The writing was excellent, the dialogue crisp, and the characters compelling.
But the critiquer said the whole story was a cliché and pronounced that “everybody” would be bored by it. (Obviously this guy needed a refresher in how to give a helpful critique — I’ll be blogging about that soon.)
Several of us — who happen to read women’s fiction — wanted to scream “It’s a trope, not a cliché!” I also wanted to say “The Other Woman is a universal archetype; the universal isn’t the same as a cliché.”
What’s the difference between tropes and clichés — and what are archetypes?
- A trope is a commonly used story element. Tropes are like letters of the alphabet. You can arrange them in any number of creative ways. There are as many ways to write a trope as there are writers.
- An archetype is a universal human character type — like the Other Woman (sometimes called the Hetaira.) She represents the aspect of the female persona that men find tempting and dangerous. She has been a literary staple at least since Gilgamesh met Ishtar in 2100 BC.
- A cliché is an overused element that makes a story boring and predictable.
A trope can become a cliché if it is done so well by one or two authors that it’s copied to death. Think of Horatio Alger’s orphan-who-makes-good, Sue Grafton or Sara Paretsky’s kick-ass female PIs, or J.K. Rowling’s boy wizard.
An archetype can become a cliché if it’s stereotyped. The Other Woman who’s portrayed as an Asian Dragon Lady or a Dark Exotic Temptress is a cliché.
So What Exactly are Tropes?
They are any universal, familiar story element. Some readers prefer to read only books that contain certain tropes. Personally, I love the one where an improbable murder happens in a quiet, peaceful village. Midsomer Murders has been using this trope for 22 seasons, and I still love it.
Here are just a few examples:
Romance Tropes
- Enemies to lovers
- Fake Fiancée / spouse becomes real-life lover
- Love Triangle
Fantasy Tropes
- Peasant child discovers he / she’s a royal
- Orphan discovers he / she’s the Chosen One
- A magical object is a portal to another world / time
Thriller Tropes
- Evil mastermind must be stopped from destroying the world.
- Heroic spy must infiltrate an evil institution.
- A city is terrorized by a sadistic serial killer
Literary/Academic Fiction Tropes
- Middle-aged academic finds happiness with a quirky young woman
- A marriage disintegrates
- An introspective soldier discovers war is hell
Horror Tropes
- Someone must spend the night in a haunted house
- A town is terrorized by a demon / witch / evil clown.
- A secret government laboratory has unleashed a terrible evil
Mystery Tropes
- The English country house party murder.
- Brash, eager cop & jaded burned-out cop team up to solve crimes.
- A cynical PI drinks as he solves crimes and gets hit on the head a lot.
- Protagonist returns to idyllic hometown and promptly discovers a dead body.
- Same as #4, but the protagonist also discovers she’s a witch.
- Ditto, but the protagonist bakes cupcakes.
- Ditto, and it’s Christmas.
You get the idea….
So Should Writers Avoid Tropes?
Nope. You can’t. Any story you write is going to contain tropes. Your job is to make those tropes seem fresh.
- Maybe that guy in the haunted house falls in love with the ghost?
- Or the cynical PI bakes cupcakes?
- Maybe the small-town witch decides to move back to NYC and make a killing as a hedge fund manager?
Remember there are no new stories; only new ways of telling them.
What about Archetypes?
Archetypes allow you to tell universal truths in your story. Some writing gurus say the Hero’s Journey Archetypes are hardwired to the human brain. We need those universal archetypes and symbols to connect ourselves to the story.
I mentioned the Other Woman archetype. Here are a few more.
- Hero on a quest
- Gatekeeper
- Mentor
- Star-crossed lovers
- Earth mother
- Healer
- Friendly beast
- Naïve bumpkin
- Outcast
- Martyr
- Damsel in distress
- Trickster
- Loyal companion
These types have been with us since humans started telling stories. When used creatively, they can serve as guideposts through your story. They make the reader feel they’re in familiar territory with beings they can relate to.
So How Can You Tell if it’s a Trope, Archetype or Cliché?
Cliché can be in the eye of the beholder. I remember going to a production of Hamlet with a man who didn’t know much about Shakespeare. When we left, I asked him how he liked it.
“It was just a bunch of clichés!” he said. “ ‘To be or not to be? To thy own self be true? Neither a borrower nor a lender be?’ — Didn’t Shakespeare ever write anything original?”
I had to explain to him they weren’t clichés when Mr. Shakespeare invented them. ????
But the truth is, everybody has different taste. Obviously the critiquing writer in our workshop had little interest in reading fiction about women’s emotional lives — he’d been there, done that. He wanted action and danger.
But that doesn’t mean the Other Woman trope is a cliché. The critiquer simply wanted a different trope.
“The Same But Different”
Mostly people like stuff that’s “the same but different.” You want a book that will give you the same thrill as the last one you loved. But you don’t want it to be an exact copy.
The definition of “same” changes from person to person.
It’s like playing a round of golf. You’ve always got a small dimpled ball you try to hit with a variety of sticks into 18 little holes though a manicured green lawn. Boring? Sure, to some people. But to a golfer, every game is new and exciting.
Some people will read every 1920s country house mystery they can get their hands on. Others will say “I read And Then There Were None once. Those old mysteries are a bunch of clichés.”
For more on Critique Groups, see my post 6 Ways a Critique Group can Help Your Writing and 6 Ways it Can’t, and 10 Kinds of Critique Groups that Can Drive You Bonkers.
by Anne R. Allen (@annerallen) October 16, 2022
What about you, scriveners? What tropes do you enjoy reading? Which ones are you tired of? Are there current tropes you think have become clichés?
BOOK OF THE WEEK
SHERWOOD, LTD: Camilla Mystery #2
Suddenly-homeless American manners expert Camilla Randall becomes a 21st century Maid Marian — living rough near the real Sherwood Forest with a band of outlaw English erotica publishers—led by a charming, self-styled Robin Hood (another archetype–the wild man) who unfortunately may intend to kill her.
When Camilla is invited to publish a book of her columns with UK publisher Peter Sherwood, she lands in a gritty criminal world—far from the Merrie Olde England she envisions. The staff are ex-cons and the erotica is kinky. Hungry and penniless, she camps in a Wendy House built from pallets of porn while battling an epic flood, a mendacious American Ren-faire wench, and the mysterious killer who may be Peter himself.
Here’s a great write up of Sherwood, Ltd from Debra Eve at the Later Bloomer
Available in ebook from:
All Amazons GooglePlay Scribd Kobo Nook Smashwords
Available in paper from:
featured image “Lady Lilith” by Dante Gabriel Rosetti, 1868
“Remember there are no new stories; only new ways of telling them.” Good advice, Anne. I recently talked with a film producer and asked her what they were really looking for in new content. She replied, “Something different, but not too different.”
Garry–I wish film producers would look for something a little more different. These days they seem to be re-doing old films and TV shows more often than they do new ones. And how many Batman movies can we take? 🙂 But you’re absolutely right. Publishers are the same: they want “the same, but different.”
Anne, Fab post! Clarifies a number of things that might be unclear.
I especially love the cynical PI who boozes on the job & bakes cupcakes. Rum-raisin cupcakes anyone? Chardonnay-peach? Bourbon butterscotch? There are possibilities…
Ruth–Bourbon butterscotch cupcakes! I’m salivating now. They’re all great ideas. Maybe a PI office-bakery could make it!
Thank you, Anne. This is so informative. Story telling is about the human condition. Always has been. Always will be. Even stories without humans are about us. We are what we know and can relate to. Tropes, archetypes are us. And reading a story you thought you could not relate to only broadens your human perception. Not diminish it. The only story telling I will not let into my psychi is violence for violence sake. That diminishes me.
Christine–Yes. Archetypes are how we perceive the world. Stories are always with us. I’m with you on extreme violence. I don’t find it entertaining. I find it soul-crushing.
There are other ways that a trope can become a cliche such as when it is heavily used to suppress a minority. I won’t bother to mention the ones regarding Jews and black people. But there are others that still slip through. The Roma thief is one. The gay man or lesbian who spends their life in lonely misery because of their sexuality is another.
I didn’t go into the first two because they are so widely recognised. I am not sure I made my point that there are others that exist but are not so widely recognised to watch out for.
JR–You’re absolutely right. I included the Asian Dragon Lady and the Dark Temptress in my bit about how stereotypes turn archetypes into cliches. They’re also hurtful.
Good point that someone will still think it’s cliche. But you do outline the differences very well. Lots of tropes in science fiction – we just need to know how to arrange them in a fresh manner.
Alex–And if you veered too far from the usual scifi tropes, people would find your story “unbelievable.” They want the kind of stories they’re used to, with variations.
Last Sunday on my blog I published my short story about an “other woman”. So I was very relieved when you defended the “other woman” as a troupe.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you are writing something unique. That’s why it’s wise read widely. That written, you can’t read everything. So I just write the story and hope that it will find a target reader–at least one.
The line about Shakespeare’s (un)originality made me laugh out loud.
Leanne–I’ll check out your story. Readers don’t always want “unique.” Sometimes they want familiar. You’re right about finding the right reader. You want your story to resonate with certain people, but you know it won’t resonate with everybody.
Great observations, Anne. Makes me go back and analyze my novels–did I avoid tropes by trying too hard to avoid cliches? Or the opposite?
One other little thing: Golf—12 holes?
Fred–I think sometimes we try too hard to avoid cliches. As I said, cliché can be in the eye of the beholder
Thanks for the catch! Fixed now. I don’t know why I came up with the number 12. Maybe because that hole is about where I poop out on the golf course. 🙂
Regards to reading: I basically read either historical fiction or basic non-fiction, depending on what suits my fancy at moment of impact (aka, cruising the library shelves), so I don’t see too many tropes reading these days. Short stories on YT though, that is a whole other world to deal with.
Writing them, I think I’ve used at least one in my longer stories but try to keep it fresh. Currently, the trope being used that someone has been kidnapped/taken hostage and they need to be rescued. Plot twists: it was a man that was kidnapped/taken hostage and his current and ex-wives who are going after to retrieve him. Throw in some fantasy elements and political intrigue, and presto! freshly squeezed trope!
I reluctantly use a lot of cliches in my stories, but I really try to make them as fresh and current as humanly possible. A good chunk of the time, they work.
I hope this is permitted!
G.B., when I read the beginning of your post, it reminded me of this review from an internet acquaintance, (a history teacher): “I read between 10-20 books each year, and if this non-fiction/history/biography guy reads fiction at all, it’s usually from the “classics” or “literature” list in my head. Until now!
Finished Just Lucky and totally dug it! A great read, Fred! Well done! I look forward to catching Bk 2 this summer.
And I’ll keep them displayed prominently around the house so I can point them out to visitors and crow, “You want an entertaining read? Try these! Great characters exercising traditional themes with lots of action…” *Just Lucky, Book 1, Friends and Enemies* is available on Amazon.
It is permitted indeed. Thanks for your recommendation of a book by a member of this community!
GB–I’ll bet some of those “clichés” in your stories are really tropes. Readers need them in order to feel at home in a story. Kidnapping is certainly a time-honored trope, but you’ve made it very fresh if his ex-wives come to the rescue!
Hey Anne,
Thanks for this. My brain had a good time pondering the gray areas between the terms.
CS–There are indeed lots of gray areas. A tired cliché can become fresh and exciting with a few tweaks. And an honored trope can become a cliché in the wrong hands.
Thank you for the definitions and examples…always interesting & FYI…my writers group did a session at NightWriters about critique groups recently and I quoted you on what makes a good critique group…boils down to be kind and offer value. You always do even with some gentle snarkyness!
Judy–Haha! Gentle snarkiness is what I do best. 🙂 I’m honored that you quoted me in your critique group. I’ll be doing a whole post on Critiquing 101 in November.
As always, you have written a fabulous post that explains so much for me since I really never understood the difference between a trope, cliche, and an archetype. And when you say: “A cliché is an overused element that makes a story boring and predictable”, that really hit the nail on the head for me. I just read a psychological thriller based on the “other woman” and it was fabulous. Obviously that is a “typical” theme in zillions of books but the way it was written – loved it!
Patricia–I’m glad this gave you some clarity. One author who takes common tropes and makes them fresh is Liane Moriarty. I just read one with the nasty “War of the Roses” divorce trope is turned on its ear when the woman gets amnesia and can’t remember why she wants a divorce and is still madly in love. Delicious.
Oh, that definitely sounds right up my alley. Thank you for the suggestion!!
Love this post. Even with an English teaching degree, I can always use the reminders that there are no new stories, archetypes and tropes can be good, and cliches are often in the eyes of the beholder.
Tyrean–Exactly! You just did a great synopsis of this post. I should hire you to do synopses of my books! 🙂
Thanks for this informative breakdown between tropes and archetypes Anne 🙂
Debby–I hope it helps clarify things for writers who are accused of writing cliches by their critique groups.
My husband has become addicted to old episodes of the TV PI show Mannix. I just realized that the show is Mystery trope #3. He’s hit on the head in every episode! LOL Love your breakdown of these literary concepts. Much food for thought.
Yeah, that was a running gag in our house. My dad couldn’t understand how the guy wasn’t disabled from all the times he was knocked out.
🙂
Carmen–Yup. Mannix is the typical PI. Must get hit on the head. I don’t know why police detectives don’t get hit as often as PIs. 🙂
Well said, Anne. It’s not easy describing the difference between trope, archetypes, and cliches. For me, it comes down to “I’ll know it when I see it.” And that’s not helpful for anyone but me. LOL
Onan internet site of stories that encourages readers’ comments, One reader posted this: “Same old ‘both spouses died” cliche.” I responded, “It’s not a cliche. It’s a trope.”
Fred–That was the right comeback. What a ridiculous critique! Somebody dies? Oh, that’s a cliche! Um, nope.