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July 3, 2022 By Anne R. Allen 68 Comments

Internet Trolls, Bullies, and the Chronically Offended — How Should an Author Deal with Them?

Internet Trolls, Bullies, and the Chronically Offended — How Should an Author Deal with Them?

 

by Anne R. Allen

Internet trolls and other masters of malice we meet on the Web can ruin a writing day — and even a career. We all know we shouldn’t “feed” the trolls, but that’s easier said than done. Especially if the trolls are telling lies about you or attacking your readers and making you look complicit.

This week I had a Facebook friend request from a guy whose page consisted of anti-Semitism, threats of violence, and a generous sprinkling of swastikas. I get stupid friend requests all the time, but this one triggered me. My dad was one of those guys who landed on Omaha Beach on D-Day. He risked his life to save us from these Bozos. I wanted to tell this Nazi to go back to his Führerbunker.

Luckily my better angels guided me to hit the “dismiss” button and click away. But I was still angry. Why would a Nazi send me a friend request? What about my Sandra Boynton cartoons and funny cat pictures made him think I shared his views?

Then I realized that of course he didn’t think. Because he wasn’t real. This was a bot, put on Facebook to promote chaos, distrust and anger, and maybe connect with a wealthy Neo-Nazi widow or two to scam out of her life savings. “He” had two first names like the romance-scam catfish — a sign the people who put up the fake profile didn’t understand how English names work. The photos of him brandishing weapons were probably lifted from a gun catalogue.

If I’d “friended” him, no doubt swastikas, guns, and lies would have appeared on my page. Not just to destroy my reputation, but to cause turmoil and stress for all my friends.

The experience left me feeling wary and unsafe. And of course that’s what the perpetrators wanted.

It’s what trolls do. I had let them get to me.

What are Internet Trolls?

“Trolls” are pretty much as old as the Internet. I’m sure when scientists sent the first messages on the World Wide Web, they got replies saying the world is flat, yo’ Mama is fat, and Mr. Rogers is a Satan-worshiping, baby-eating lizard-person from outer space.

The phrase “Internet troll” seems to come from a merging of the Scandinavian folklore troll character — an ugly, malevolent creature who lies in wait for unsuspecting travelers — and “trolling,” meaning fishing from a moving boat with a lure or net.

Internet trolls are both ugly and malevolent, and they’re creatures who try to lure unsuspecting innocents into their nasty nets.

Generally they’re unwell people who get pleasure from insulting random strangers and starting fights. A BYU study found they possess “the dark triad” of personality traits: Narcissism, Machiavellianism and Psychopathy. Plus they have a lot of time on their hands.

You can’t appeal to their consciences or “better side” because they have none. Communicating with them only hurts the victim. They crave attention, so anything you say plays into their hands.

There is no way for an author to deal with them but to delete and block. And perhaps apologize to your readers if you weren’t able to delete the troll before they started attacking your peeps.

Weaponized Internet Trolls

However, many present-day Internet trolls are not doing this stuff for fun. They’re paid operatives. Many countries have weaponized the troll phenomenon. We know Russia has a “troll farm” where agents are trained to spread disinformation to sway public opinion in enemy countries. Iran, China and other places have them too.

These trolls are soldiers fighting a war against democracies with disinformation and propaganda. Most pro-Russian aggression stuff you see on social media comes from a St. Petersburg troll farm (officially known as the “Internet Research Agency.”) If one of their bots “friends” or follows you, beware. They will put comments on your posts that will upset most of your readers.

But don’t argue with them. Immediately delete the comment and block them. Anything you say or do will play into their hands.

Remember you’re not dealing with humans. These are fake profiles put there by trained spies. Block and delete. Report if you can make a case they violate the TOS.  If they’ve attacked your social media friends, again, apologize and move on.

Collective Bullying

Bullies aren’t necessarily trolls, although trolls are definitely bullies. Bullies are people who victimize others who appear to be innocent or naïve — on the Web, or in real life. 

Bullying behavior may come from an atavistic need of primates to cull the troop of weaker members. It’s instinctive animal behavior, with no cerebral activity involved, so attempts at rational communication are futile. If you’ve ever seen chickens pecking one of their flock so she bleeds or even dies, remember humans in bully mode have the same reasoning ability as those chickens: none.

Bullies working singly are scary enough, but bullies can be lethal when they come together as a mindless mob.

Lots of online bullying is the result of what pop psychology calls “mass hysteria.” Individually, these people aren’t sociopaths. But they lose any capacity for empathy when they become part of the hive mind. They’re like the crazed villagers with torches and pitchforks who wanted to kill Frankenstein’s monster. And here’s a post from the Kill Zone this morning by James Scott Bell on the horrors of a lynch mob. 

We’ve all seen the sadistic bullying of celebrities on social media. And the US Congressional hearings have showed us even more horrific bullying of innocent officials and their children by politically charged mobs whipped into a state of collective rage.

Review Swarms and other Author Bullying

Ordinary people going about their daily lives can be attacked by this kind of collective bullying too.

I’ve been a victim myself. Once I was targeted when somebody misquoted a blogpost I wrote and sent a mob to punish me for my non-existent crime. They sent me death threats, complete with photos of my house and threats to shoot me through my kitchen window.

I got hundreds of hateful comments on the blog and was stupid enough to leave them up, trying to reason with these people.

What a moron. I should have realized you can’t reason with the hive mind. It’s like trying to reason with a swarm of hornets. I finally got smart and deleted the post.

The second incident happened when I witnessed the shocking attack on a naïve teenager on Goodreads. She was swarmed with 100s of threats of rape and torture in “reviews” by the Mean Girl Brigade.

Later the Mean Girls deleted the threats and claimed they never existed. But I didn’t know that and mentioned on a high-profile blog that I’d witnessed the attack.

Another mistake. I should have sent a private message to the blogger. When mobs are swarming, anything you say or do in public will make things worse. And when you see something horrific, take a screenshot for evidence. Bullies always lie. And they always blame their victims.

The Mean Girls punished me for witnessing their cruelty by “swarming” my recent book release with one-star reviews and filling my inbox with death and rape threats. A terrifying time.

I failed to realize how dangerous the Goodreads bullies were. Bullies always project and accuse others of their own crimes.

The Chronically Offended

A more contemporary form of mass-bullying comes from the Chronically Offended Community. These are people whose purpose in life is to focus on things that make them feel bad, then stage public temper tantrums because other people don’t know what those things are.

Somewhere in the ivory towers of Wokistan, there’s a cabal that decrees the latest fatwas on words and phrases deemed “offensive.” They also invent politically-correct words we all must use. Heaven help the writer who isn’t privy to the newly-minted vocabulary.

Recently I’ve been Twitter-shamed for using “third world” and “minority.”

The fact I belong to what used to be called a minority — I use a wheelchair — doesn’t matter. Nobody’s asking actual minorities if we’re offended. All that matters is the fashionable causes and fatwas du jour. 

Are you fundraising for starving orphans? Bigot! The COC will swarm you with name-calling and hate speech because you’re not fundraising for the more fashionable transexual purple-crested fruit bats in south northeastern Borneo (known this week as Brunei non-binary guano-generators ????.)  Fashion matters, people!

How should an author handle the COC and their swarms of enraged enforcers?

Run. Do not engage. They’re another mindless swarm of angry insects, even less rational because they’re high on their own self-righteousness.

You should probably stop using the vocabulary that set them off, even though you do it through gritted teeth. You don’t want to attract any more of them, and some words may genuinely hurt people who belong to a marginalized demographic (formerly known as a minority.)

And the COC can report your “offensive speech” to social media police.

Plus, if you’re traditionally published, they can get your book cancelled with 1000s of complaints from COC members who haven’t read it.  So do try to use this week’s approved vocabulary and ferret out the latest secretly banned words. (This is why we use Sensitivity Readers.)

Then pray our language doesn’t devolve into a series of grunts, since any word can offend somebody, sometime. 🙂

How Can An Author Survive Internet Trolls?

The Internet is a scary place. It’s full of dangerous people you might never meet in real life. But it’s tough to market your books without it. (Not that this can’t be done. Try being a star in your own hometown.)

So how do we navigate these treacherous waters? Do as I say, not what I did. I made some big mistakes, but you don’t have to. Do. Not. Engage. These malevolent creatures feed on your anger, pain, and fear. So don’t provide them with sustenance. Don’t offer yourself up to be abused.

When you run into Internet trolls, bullies, or the Chronically Offended, don’t mistake them for rational humans. Remember they suffer from Narcissism, Machiavellianism and Psychopathy.

Treat them like a swarm of murder-hornets, and save yourself.

by Anne R. Allen (@annerallen) July 3, 2022

What about you, scriveners? Have you met up with any Internet trolls? Gangs of bullies? The Chronically Offended Police? How did you deal with the situation?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

SO MUCH FOR BUCKINGHAM

My book about Internet trolls and online bullying that leads to murder.

only 99c at Amazon!

“This wonderfully satiric comedy is a joy to read. On the surface, it’s a frothy romance cum suspense story about a whacky writer, Camilla, whose life is threatened by trolls and who topples from one hilarious disaster into the next.

But underneath, it provides a perceptive insight into the mad world of modern publishing, the sub-culture of Internet lunatics and the mindset of cultists who can – and do – believe ten impossible things before breakfast.

The reader is left with the question: how much of the story, perish the thought, might be true? Tremendous fun, wittily satiric and highly recommended”…Nigel J. Robinson

Camilla and Ronzo see their reputations destroyed by online review trolls. Meanwhile, Plantagenet Smith heads to England, where he encounters a dead historical reenactor dressed as the Duke of Buckingham.  Plant is promptly arrested for his murder. In jail, Plant meets the ghost of Richard III, and hears what it’s like to live with character assassination “fake news” that has persisted for half a millennium.

So Much for Buckingham is available at:

All Amazons Kobo  Nook Smashwords  Googleplay Scribd 

Available in paper from:

AmazonUS AmazonUK  Barnes & Noble

Also in Audiobook!

So Much for Buckingham audiobook
So Much for Buckingham audiobook

available at Audible and iTunes

 

***’

Featured image–Troll by Swedish painter John Bauer via Wikimedia Commons.

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Filed Under: Scams and Alerts for Writers, The Writing Life Tagged With: chronically offended community, Internet trolls, online bullying, So Much for Buckingham

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About Anne R. Allen

Anne writes funny mysteries and how-to-books for writers. She also writes poetry and short stories on occasion. Oh, yes, and she blogs. She's a contributor to Writer's Digest and the Novel and Short Story Writer's Market.

Her bestselling Camilla Randall Mystery RomCom Series features perennially down-on-her-luck former socialite Camilla Randall—who is a magnet for murder, mayhem and Mr. Wrong, but always solves the mystery in her quirky, but oh-so-polite way.

Anne lives on the Central Coast of California, near San Luis Obispo, the town Oprah called "The Happiest City in America."

Comments

  1. Garry Rodgers says

    July 3, 2022 at 10:18 am

    Thanks for the “Ivory Towers of Wokistan” line, Anne. I’m gonna steal this one. Is it just me who’s thoroughly nauseated by Wokism? Or are there others like me who’d like to troll the Wokes but have more class and dignity as well as not enough time? And don’t get me going on Goodreads. Enjoy your Sunday! You too, Ruth!

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 3, 2022 at 11:14 am

      Garry–Steal away! I had fun with that one. I have a lot of issues with people who turn on those who support them rather than combat the actual enemies (like my Nazi “friend”)

      Reply
    • V.M.Sang says

      July 3, 2022 at 12:34 pm

      Soon it will be impossible to communicate because of Wokism. I feel sorry for comedians. Soon they won’t be able to find anything to make jokes about. Then we’ll all suffer. Nothing will be funny anymore.

      Reply
      • Anne R. Allen says

        July 3, 2022 at 1:13 pm

        VM–Humor is what sets humans apart from other species. Without it, we’re going to devolve into grunting apes.

  2. Ruth Harris says

    July 3, 2022 at 10:18 am

    Anne—Great, totally solid advice. Stay far far away. The aggrieved/offended deal in unending projection, aggressiveness, and rage. You want to have NOTHING WHATEVER to do with them. Period. They will destroy themselves in order to destroy you. I’ve had real life experience with this & know what I’m talking about.

    Reminds me of the old advice not to get into a mud wrestling match with a pig. You’ll get dirty—and the pig likes it. So be warned. Pay attention to Anne!

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 3, 2022 at 11:16 am

      Ruth–The old pig wrestling axiom is apropos. Engaging with a troll only hurts you and makes the troll happy.

      Reply
  3. Carmen Amato says

    July 3, 2022 at 10:27 am

    Anne, sound advice as always. “Never engage” is the best policy. Delete, block, and move on. Don’t let the bots and haters live in your head rent-free, either. Life is too short for this type of damaging dystopian interaction.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 3, 2022 at 11:17 am

      Carmen–That’s the trick. Don’t let them live in your head. “Damaging dystopian interaction” is a great phrase!

      Reply
  4. CS Perryess says

    July 3, 2022 at 10:55 am

    Hi Anne,
    You’ve presented me with an opportunity to wallow in the wonderfulness of being a nobody! Most the world has no idea I exist, so neither do the trolls.
    Anonymity has its perks.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 3, 2022 at 11:21 am

      CS–Even “nobodys” run into these malevolent creatures. Like that poor little girl I saw attacked by the Goodreads bullies. So everyone needs to be prepared for an encounter. Simple “nobody-ness” may be enough to trigger them.

      Reply
  5. alexjcavanaugh says

    July 3, 2022 at 11:43 am

    Ignore them and boogie on.
    It seems like so many are highly offended these days. It’s easy to get a negative label if you don’t say just the right thing.
    And trolls have a lot of scary negative traits rolled up into just one person.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 3, 2022 at 12:51 pm

      Alex–You’ve done a great synopsis of my long winded post “Ignore them and boogie on.” 🙂

      Reply
  6. debbieburkewriter says

    July 3, 2022 at 11:49 am

    Anne, whenever I despair that common sense and rationality have become totally extinct, you write a post like this that restores my faith that not everyone is bat-sh*t insane. Thank you for being the voice of reason–that faint little voice could be the most endangered minority of all.

    I’ll be chuckling over Wokistan all day.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 3, 2022 at 12:54 pm

      Debbie–It does seem there’s more bat-guano behavior going on than usual, doesn’t it? When it starts to get to me, I have to tell myself there’s nothing more important than working to keep our own sanity intact.

      Reply
  7. authorleannedyck says

    July 3, 2022 at 11:51 am

    Thank you for this helpful advice, Anne.
    Last year, I was upset to see that “someone” had put “something” offensive on my Facebook wall. It made me sick to think that people would associate me with this thinking. But I didn’t know what to do. Then I realized that I owned my Facebook wall. So there must be something I can do. I looked around and found the delete key. Oh the power.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 3, 2022 at 12:58 pm

      Leanne–I totally empathize! I had a similar experience recently. I had the same hesitancy: how do I deal with this creepy stuff on my page? Do I ignore it? The answer was: no. The delete button is our friend.

      Reply
  8. Kay DiBianca says

    July 3, 2022 at 12:20 pm

    Great advice, Anne. It’s pretty scary out on the web. (And somehow I doubt the towers of Wokistan are made of ivory.) 🙂

    I have “Buckingham” on my ipad. Looking forward to reading it.

    Have a happy 4th!

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 3, 2022 at 1:09 pm

      Kay–I had to look up “ivory tower” to find out the origin of the expression. Seems it was invented by some 19th century French literary critic. No mention of when and where elitists were supposed to have lived in towers made of elephant tusks. Some suggest the expression came from the Song of Solomon, but that ivory tower was some lady’s neck, so I don’t think it’s terribly apropos.

      Enjoy Buckingham. That’s how I deal with these people. I put them in books and kill them. 🙂

      Reply
  9. Melodie Lynn Campbell says

    July 3, 2022 at 12:31 pm

    Anne, I feel this is your most important column yet. I will be sharing the link all over the place. Thank you, for the risks you take, and the information you bless us with!

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 3, 2022 at 1:10 pm

      Melodie–Thanks for spreading the word. It’s so natural to want to set these cretins straight, but the most effective weapon against them is indifference.

      Reply
  10. richarddeescifi says

    July 3, 2022 at 12:38 pm

    Sound advice. I made the mistake of sending a polite and private message to a person who misrepresented one of my books. Thinking it would be OK because they were moderator of a Facebook group. WRONG, I was treated to an out of context and abusive public reply, at that point all the group members joined in. It left me traumatised and even now, five years later, I’m still nervous about posting and commenting, because people have long memories. Which doesn’t help me sell books. Lesson learned.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 3, 2022 at 1:21 pm

      Richard–Oh, yuck. How awful. We judge other people by ourselves, so we assume we’re dealing with rational people. But if the person is a narcissist, they can never admit they’re wrong. Then they can rile up an angry mob on little or no evidence to attack the person who dared to question them. We’re seeing this unfold on the world stage with horrific results. The world needs more grown-ups, but I fear we’re getting the opposite. Sorry you went through this.

      Reply
  11. Will says

    July 3, 2022 at 12:54 pm

    Terrific review Anne, lots of flavors of annoyance out there to play with.

    As a History teacher, I have triggers all over my body and my training is ALWAYS to engage. It’s too bad I don’t go in for all that groovy piercing the kids use today- my lips have enough holes in them from biting!

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 3, 2022 at 2:29 pm

      Will-I think it’s hard for anybody who’s been a teacher to shut themselves up when they see misinformation and untruths bandied about. But when we’re around these mindless monsters, we need to keep it zipped. You can’t reason with something that has no actual brain. And people who are part of a hive mind have no minds of their own.

      Reply
    • Fred Waiss says

      July 26, 2022 at 9:33 am

      Me, too, Will–always engage! I’ve learned to engage orally and alone, fantasizing about saying all that to the perp, loudly and in his face, while just ignoring and/or deleting his comment.

      Reply
  12. Lorraine Heisler says

    July 3, 2022 at 1:00 pm

    Fortunately, pigs aren’t easily offended. I fear the day when we can’t make jokes about animals.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 3, 2022 at 2:30 pm

      Lorraine–Oh, I’m sure there’s somebody out there who’s offended by LOLCats and funny cat videos. Sigh.

      Reply
  13. G.B. Miller says

    July 3, 2022 at 1:11 pm

    I agree that to engage will give you nothing but problems, no matter if you’re an average citizen or a somebody. Recently, the creator of “Friends” got trolled for her show not being “diverse” enough back in the day. I guess the pressure was too much, so she groveled an apology and donated about $4 million to various “organizations”. So of course, she started getting backlash for apologizing about her successful t.v. show.

    So…yeah.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 3, 2022 at 1:39 pm

      GB–I had not heard that story, but how awful. And a perfect example of why you shouldn’t engage with mindless mobs. Friends was about a certain group of people. So was Seinfeld. So were the Jeffersons and Good Times. They were comedies of their time. Everybody loved them. Not every show needs to be about everybody.

      Reply
  14. Chuck Bartok says

    July 3, 2022 at 1:55 pm

    AS mentioned above a well written article explaining some of the FACTS regarding Social Media activity. Not worrying about the Bots so much and completely ignore anyone who express disdain for my personal beliefs. I learned 70+ years they have no impact on my life in any way. Keep up your brilliance

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 3, 2022 at 2:44 pm

      Chuck–Some of them can impact our lives, unfortunately, but engaging with trolls and angry mobs only deepens the impact. If they are genuinely dangerous, like the mob attacking the teen girl on Goodreads, we need to retreat to our cyber-caves and silently plot a wiser way of combatting them. Those bullies were finally kicked off Goodreads, by the way. 🙂

      Reply
  15. joannerambling says

    July 3, 2022 at 2:13 pm

    Some people have too much time on their hands and get weird thrills by attacking others

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 3, 2022 at 2:37 pm

      Joanne–Yes, and sometimes they’re paid to do the attacking. That’s even scarier. And the most terrifying of all are the self-righteous morons who become part of a hive mind that mindlessly attacks anybody a leader tells them to, whether because of a misunderstood blogpost or an unfashionable turn of phrase.

      Reply
  16. Liz Gauffreau says

    July 3, 2022 at 5:39 pm

    This is so depressing.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 3, 2022 at 7:02 pm

      Liz–I didn’t mean to be a downer. But we live in depressing times. I’m just trying to help people stay safe.

      Reply
      • Liz Gauffreau says

        July 4, 2022 at 3:10 pm

        Hi, Anne. My comment wasn’t a meant as a criticism, just an acknowledgement of a painful truth.

  17. Ernie Zelinski says

    July 4, 2022 at 12:26 am

    First, don’t take what the trolls (the pathetic pathological critics and the babbling bozos) say seriously or personally.

    Second, these words of wisdom apply:

    “The emptier the wagon, the more noise it makes.”
    — Unknown wise person

    “Men will always be mad, and those who think they can cure them are the maddest of all.”
    — Voltaire

    “My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.”
    — Jane Austin

    “A tiger doesn’t lose sleep over the opinion of sheep.”
    — Unknown wise person

    “Whoever is trying to bring you down, is already below you.”
    — Unknown wise person

    “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
    — Mark Twain

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 4, 2022 at 10:25 am

      Ernie–Love all of these!! Thanks. Also love your “pathetic pathological critics and babbling bozos” 🙂

      Reply
  18. Hugh W. Roberts says

    July 4, 2022 at 5:02 am

    I’ve encountered trolls many time on my blog, but pleased to say I have never engaged with them, Anne. Their comments never appear on any of my blog posts because I’ve set my blog up to not display any comments until I approve them. This does add to my time approving them, but I’m a much happier person knowing that none of their awful comments will ever appear on my blog.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 4, 2022 at 10:29 am

      Hugh, I don’t advise authors to set their comments to “approval only” because it may keep readers from commenting. But if you can stop in to approve several times a day, it does save you from the occasional troll. When I get the odd troll comment, I send them to spam. Usually the WordPress Spam elves will block further comments from that particular troll.

      Reply
      • Hugh W. Roberts says

        July 4, 2022 at 11:15 pm

        I’ve never had anyone tell me that they are put off from leaving a comment because it goes into a moderation queue, Anne. What I like about WordPress is that readers are told when their comments is awaiting moderation. I think it puts off spammers who leave spammy comments like “Great post – check out my blog and follow me’ and who obviously haven’t read the post they’re leaving their spammy comments on. However, what you say is certainly something to think about. I dislike the thought of any readers being put off from engaging.

  19. equipsblog says

    July 4, 2022 at 9:21 am

    Excellent post. Love your depiction of the Chronically Offended. Great advice.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 4, 2022 at 10:31 am

      Equips–The Chronically Offended do so much more harm than they realize, don’t they?

      Reply
  20. Ann R says

    July 4, 2022 at 11:29 am

    How sweet a word of sanity is! Thank you, Anne.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 4, 2022 at 1:21 pm

      Ann R–From another Anne R 🙂 It gets tougher to hang onto sanity in an increasingly insane world, but I think it’s the only thing that will save us.

      Reply
  21. barryknister says

    July 4, 2022 at 12:42 pm

    Hello Anne. As CS Perryess points out, your chilling post gives comfort to nobodies. Those with name recognition and media exposure are most vulnerable to the abuses you describe. What is another sad aspect of all this is how it works to snuff out the very idea of critical thinking. Given the possible consequences, who these days is going to offer honest criticism to anyone who hasn’t been exhaustively vetted, submitted to a polygraph test, and signed an actionable contract? I recently included a few words of mild critical doubt in what was otherwise a letter of praise to a good friend. He saw nothing but those few words that weren’t high praise. Sigh.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 4, 2022 at 1:28 pm

      Barry–I wish it were true, but the majority of victims of trolls and bullies tend to be the young and naive. We may hear of celebrities being trolled, but that’s not the most common kind of bullying. Teens can even be driven to suicide by these sociopaths. And it’s mostly young authors of color who are subject to attacks and cancellation for minor “offenses”.

      I do think we need to be very careful when offering negative feedback. 1) Be sure the recipient has asked for truly honest feedback. 2) Present it “sandwich” style, with praise before and after the criticism. Otherwise most people shut down and feel as if they’re under attack. Sorry it has caused a rift with your friend.

      Reply
  22. K Morris Poet says

    July 4, 2022 at 12:54 pm

    Thanks for this post.
    Several years ago I attended an event during which the song “Imagine” by the Beetles was played. I learned subsequently from another attendee that some Christians had been offended by the line “imagine ther’s no heaven” and had complained to the event’s organiser. “Imagine” is not one of my favourite Beetles tracks. However I, as an adult expect fellow adults to live and let live. If you don’t like a song (or something else) You have no right to press for it not to be played or utilised in other ways (unless the thing in question is proven, beyond any reasonable doubt to promote violence). I don’t know what the result of the complaint was, but I was flaberghasted that anyone would complain about the song.
    Whilst I am not in a wheelchair, I am registered blind. I find that due to an obsession with political correctness some people apologise for using terms such as “see you later”, or “see you around”. I use both expressions myself quite frequently and point this out to those who think they are offending me. When people are wary of approaching someone who is disabled for fear that they may cause offence by using the wrong word we are on a slippery slope to hell.
    As a poet I do sometimes worry whether some of my poems may offend a reader. Much of my poetry is about time, mortality and nature, but other poems deal with prostitution and other subjects which provoke strong feelings. I have, however never censored my poems as to do so would be dishonest and as writers we must remain true to ourselves.
    Best wishes. Kevin

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 4, 2022 at 1:48 pm

      Morris–I often wonder, when John Lennon’s “Imagine” is played like a sacred hymn, if anybody is paying attention to the words. It’s an atheist anthem. Another is Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” which people even play in church, but it’s not in any way about praising God. It’s all about sex and disillusionment
      “Well, maybe there’s a God above
      But all I ever learned from love
      Is how to shoot somebody who outdrew you.”

      Brilliant poetry, but not exactly ringing endorsements for organized religion. Our great poets aren’t always into religion, so religions shouldn’t use their work without paying attention to what they say. As for your own poetry, tell the truth. Poets are supposed to offend. The truth makes a lot of people uncomfortable.

      And oh, my it’s so sad the way people pretzel themselves trying to avoid “offending” the disabled. I so much wish they’d stop. I’d rather they call me crippled than bring attention to my disability with this stuff. I know they mean well, but it’s silly. Just treat me like a person.

      Reply
      • Widdershins says

        July 4, 2022 at 3:11 pm

        L.C’s “Hallelujah” is one of my favouritest songs. Have you heard kd lang sing it? sheer auditory heaven. 😀

      • Anne R. Allen says

        July 4, 2022 at 4:36 pm

        I love kd lang’s version. It’s transcendent. Of course she could sing “Rockin’ Robin” and make it sound profound. 🙂

  23. Widdershins says

    July 4, 2022 at 1:26 pm

    ‘Chronically Offended’ … love it, and ‘Wokeistan’ … genius! 😀

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 4, 2022 at 1:59 pm

      Widdershins–Thanks! Great to see you here! *waves* It’s been a while. 🙂

      Reply
  24. dgkaye says

    July 4, 2022 at 6:39 pm

    Well, you’ve certainly covered the gamut on trollism, Anne. I can’t believe some of the shyte you’ve been put through. And it always fascinates me that these St. Petersburg run trolls are welcomed with opened arms in Herr Zuckerberg’s metaverse, while the underdogs like me keep getting put in FAKEBOOK jail for stating honest opinion. Sharing! <3

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 4, 2022 at 7:26 pm

      Debby–I’m not a conspiracy fan, but the FB jail stuff looks like some kind of conspiracy to me. Nazis can display swastikas all over obviously fake profiles, but if you say women deserve equal rights, you get put in jail. It’s probably just badly programmed algorithms, but they have enough money to fix it already.

      Reply
  25. Lucinda E Clarke says

    July 5, 2022 at 5:34 am

    I write in my own name for a local free newspaper. The subject was political satire and with gay abandon I slammed all three major UK political parties, until the month I was a little heavier on one of them. The trolls tracked me down to my FB pen name page, they contacted the mag threatening to get her advertisers to boycott the publication, the hate speech, death threats and abuse flew in all directions. I was to be sent back to UK, fired and fined (I write for free) etc, etc. After a couple of interchanges I posted that I would love to discuss their opposing points of view and complaints over a coffee. (It’s a local magazine). Result? Silence. However this does not have a happy ending and the editor, despite her telling me she would stand up for me didn’t and I now write fluffy travel pieces. I was tempted to stop, but then they would have won?

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      April 11, 2023 at 12:35 pm

      Lucinda–Somehow my response to your comment here got eaten by the WordPress elves sometime in the past 10 months. I apologize for their rude behavior. 🙂 What an ordeal you’ve been through! I have had a few trolls contact my publisher, but luckily my publisher stood up for me. Fluffy travel pieces pay the bills, but they can be remarkably unfulfilling. I hope you’ve found a place where you can speak your truth by now.

      Reply
  26. Toni Pike says

    July 22, 2022 at 12:26 am

    Such awesome advice here, Anne – I totally agree, those malicious narcissists thrive on your reaction, so do not give them one. Toni x

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 22, 2022 at 11:41 am

      Toni–It’s tough keeping your cool when these people are so outrageous, but we need to, or they’ll keep coming back.

      Reply
  27. Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. says

    July 22, 2022 at 8:09 am

    Brilliant post Anne and so sorry that you have been the subject of such inane and vicious attacks and threats. It does illustrate that the veneer of civilisation is very thin in some places.The woke issue is only growing in momentum. I believe that the pendulum of public opinion has swung very far to one side and is due to swing back again and that usually knocks a few of their pedestals. Unfortunately that usually means that those who are deserving of help and attention get swept away with the rest of them. Thank goodness there are however many great and generous people in our community.. xx

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 22, 2022 at 11:45 am

      Sally–I think the veneer of civilization has worn so thin in the US that many people have devolved into barbarism. That’s why the woke people make me so angry. Civilization and democracy are crashing down around them, and they want to play inane word games invented to shame the very people who are trying to save them.

      Reply
  28. marianbeaman says

    July 22, 2022 at 9:02 am

    Very newsy, as always, Debby! I am aware that .mobi files are not supported by KIndle. Also, other venues that carry my book are switching to e-pub. Just this week I sent my e-pub files to We Love Memoirs FB page. Thanks for keeping us up to date. If we don’t adapt, we become obsolete.. Or worse: DEAD in cyberspace and no place to showcase our wares! 😀

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 22, 2022 at 11:46 am

      Marian–I think you intended this comment for Debby’s blog. I love her monthly round-ups!

      Reply
  29. D.L. Finn, Author says

    July 24, 2022 at 10:02 am

    Great post and advice 🙂

    Reply
  30. Fred Waiss says

    July 26, 2022 at 9:27 am

    Or the other one: Don’t argue with an idiot. He’ll bring you down to his level, then beat you with experience.

    Reply
  31. Fred Waiss says

    July 26, 2022 at 9:51 am

    Anne, the comments about the chronically offended–yours and others–reminded me of Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 and some of his Martian Chronicle stories. The theme was, books were busted, banned, and burned because they were, or might be, offensive to some group of people. We’re not too close to that yet (except maybe in Florida) but my light-hearted question is this: what about those of us that are deeply offended by those that are chronically offended? What recourse do we have?
    Thanks again for a great post. I’m sorry it took me so long to get to it.

    Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 26, 2022 at 12:03 pm

      Fred–I’m afraid all we can do is laugh at them. Mockery can be a powerful weapon if it’s used often enough. 🙂

      Reply
    • Anne R. Allen says

      July 28, 2022 at 12:24 pm

      Fred–There is certainly a nasty whiff of fascism in all the Chronically Offended stuff. I’m very tired of them.

      Reply

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Anne R. AllenAnne R. Allen writes funny mysteries and how-to-books for writers. She also writes poetry and short stories on occasion. She’s a contributor to Writer’s Digest and the Novel and Short Story Writer’s Market.

Her bestselling Camilla Randall Mystery Series features perennially down-on-her-luck former socialite Camilla Randall—who is a magnet for murder, mayhem and Mr. Wrong, but always solves the mystery in her quirky, but oh-so-polite way.

Ruth Harris NYT best selling authorRuth is a million-copy New York Times bestselling author, Romantic Times award winner, former Big 5 editor, publisher, and news junkie.

Her emotional, entertaining women’s fiction and critically praised novels have sold millions of copies in hard cover, paperback and ebook editions, been translated into 19 languages, sold in 30 countries, and were prominent selections of leading book clubs including the Literary Guild and the Book Of The Month Club.

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