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March 21, 2021 By Anne R. Allen 22 Comments

Three Things Your Query Letter Needs to Stand Out

Three Things Your Query Letter Needs to Stand Out

Today we have a guest post on writing a query letter from literary agent Lucinda Halpern. I realize many of our readers are indie authors or plan to publish independently. But these rules are important for any kind of query: to a reviewer, editor or blogger as well.

by Lucinda Halpern

Writers put so much love and labor into their stories, and literary agents recognize that. The same effort and attention is often required when a writer submits their query letter for an agent’s consideration. But all too often, the content in that query letter just doesn’t address what agents necessarily want or need to know, and therefore eludes response.

As someone who has worked in publishing for fifteen years, and as the president of Manhattan-based literary agency Lucinda Literary, it’s become my mission to share insider tips with writers that will help them to capture an agent’s attention now (and a reader’s attention later).

1. Who are You?

The first thing agents as well as publishers want to know is: who are you? We often see query letters burble with effusive personal passion but leave no sense of a person’s credentials.

Whether fiction or nonfiction, publishers need to know right away if you’ve established any sort of audience for the idea you’re proposing.

  • For a fiction writer, this could be winning a particular award or writing for a well-regarded literary journal.
  • For nonfiction, can you demonstrate a robust online audience clamoring for more of your expertise? Or do you have an active speaking schedule?

In the workshops I give, I’m always surprised to learn how many writers have been told not to say anything about themselves and to focus only on the work at hand. The truth is just the opposite: the author of a given book can be almost, and sometimes more important than the book itself.

2. Why This Book and Why Now

The second question agents will want to deduce within your first three paragraphs is “why this book?” and “why now?”

As mentioned, agents commonly see writers insert an overly lengthy synopsis within the body of their query letter. Reading through those several paragraphs that promise a new and life-changing book—if they even go this far—often don’t explain why or how.

The easiest and most recommended way to do this?

  • For fiction, show that you’re well-read in the category in which you’re submitting. By noting any particular “comps,” or recent, comparative titles, you can demonstrate a popular context and get agents excited for your work’s potential.
  • For nonfiction, reference comps to evidence a void in the marketplace; a message we aren’t yet hearing, or one we’ve misunderstood. Are you presenting a timely topic that speaks to people’s minds and hearts right now?

Articulate why readers will be motivated to pick up and purchase your title, especially where there are countless others within your genre.

3. Make it Personal

A third element to remember is this: make it personal.

One familiar piece of advice writers hear is to “keep the reader in mind.” The same goes for when you craft a query letter!

To really prove the “win-win,” do your research on the agent/agency you’re submitting to and always insert a line or two in your letter about why you’re approaching that agent specifically. For example, you might say something to the effect of, “I admire your mission to share stories that highlight diverse, underrepresented voices. Given that you represent forward-thinking books like EXAMPLE, I think my work will fit in alongside your list.”

Agents will always notice when you reference them or their list personally, and may then be more inclined to spend a little extra time and attention when considering your work. A thoughtful, personal letter immediately increases your chances of receiving a thoughtful, personal response.

A Query Letter that “Sings”

The art of creating a query letter that sings is actually more like a science. You’ll also want to consider:

  • A strong subject line and/or opening sentence
  • A title and subtitle that feel fresh and novel
  • A next step for engaging in conversation. (For example: “I have submitted to a small list of agents, two of whom have requested the manuscript. Given their expressed interest, may I send you a partial you might consider in tandem?” Or: “if you’re intrigued by my idea given it’s timely nature, I’d love to set a half hour call at your convenience to discuss any suggestions you may have”.)

I hope these brief tips are helpful in your path to getting published.

by Lucinda Halpern (@LucindaBlu) March 23, 2021

***

What about you, scriveners? Do these tips give you some help with that query letter? Are you surprised at the tip to offer a phone call or other communication? (That was new to me.) Does it help with other query letters? Do you have any questions for Lucinda? For more on how to write a query to bloggers and reviewers as well, see my post: How to Write a Professional, Not Embarrassing Query. 

Lucinda Halpern 

Lucinda is the President and Founder of Lucinda Literary, representing authors writing in the categories of business, health, lifestyle, popular science, narrative nonfiction, memoir, and upmarket fiction. She regularly shares publishing insights and motivation for writers here. She explores these winning query strategies in depth in her new workshops and courses for writers, where she also shares queries from the slushpile.

 

 

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Filed Under: The Publishing Business, Writers Dealing with Reviews and Rejection Tagged With: how to query a literary agent, Lucinda Halpern, query letter

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Anne writes funny mysteries and how-to-books for writers. She also writes poetry and short stories on occasion. Oh, yes, and she blogs. She's a contributor to Writer's Digest and the Novel and Short Story Writer's Market.

Her bestselling Camilla Randall Mystery RomCom Series features perennially down-on-her-luck former socialite Camilla Randall—who is a magnet for murder, mayhem and Mr. Wrong, but always solves the mystery in her quirky, but oh-so-polite way.

Anne lives on the Central Coast of California, near San Luis Obispo, the town Oprah called "The Happiest City in America."

Comments

  1. Ruth Harris says

    March 21, 2021 at 10:11 am

    Lucinda—Thank you for a succinct and helpful post loaded with great suggestions.

    Reply
    • Lucinda Halpern says

      March 22, 2021 at 8:30 am

      Ruth, so glad you’ve enjoyed it—it was a fun one to write!

      Reply
  2. Will says

    March 21, 2021 at 10:14 am

    Fabulous, Ms. Halpern! I was stunned to think, as you described what I would call a “query email”, that it had indeed been more than a decade since I even tried to write a query letter. But back then :: old man voice, gums-without-teeth face :: we had to use a STAMP back then!

    Or at least, I did that half the time. And the emails were just transcribed letters, so I’m sure I struck out just on the subject line at the top.

    Very worthwhile, concise advice. For braver folks than I!

    Reply
    • Lucinda Halpern says

      March 22, 2021 at 8:34 am

      Will—my, how things change! Querying may seem like a different world now, but I believe the heart of it remains the same. Agents want to know who you are and the key points of your book, told in an engaging and concise fashion. If you’re thinking of diving back into the querying fray, I hope these tips were helpful, and you can find more like these on our website, https://lucindaliterary.com.

      Reply
  3. Katja says

    March 21, 2021 at 11:19 am

    Yikes!
    I am one of those who wouldn’t construct a query letter like this, but I have learned from a fellow agent of yours, basically. Janet Reid must be right around the corner… (she lives in Brooklyn)

    May I suggest you two ladies meet over a coffee post-pandemic?! ????

    The amount of agents we have to query is HUGE. Many of those don’t even reply at any point. I’m not sure if agents who asks for personalisation or compliments actually know how very long it takes to research every single agent out there.
    That time could and should be invested into writing, no?

    I get the bit about who we are. And why this book…
    And I’ll be honest… it’s so frustrating. I have realised how it is so often not WHAT we know but WHO we know. Be a journalist and you’re in. Or used to be a journalist and know a lot of friends who still are journalists. If you have access to a paper, yes, it’s more important who you are than what your work is about.
    Life isn’t fair.

    I wrote an UNUSUAL novel about OCD. It was read by Scott Stossel, author of My Age Of Anxiety and National Editor of The Atlantic. He gave me a superb blurb as a review. But he didn’t endorse it in his paper BECAUSE it is rather unusual.

    The head of the national charity OCD-UK read my book, too. (They carry it.) He told me he liked my book better than Because We Are Bad by Lily Bailey. But this author used to work in journalism and had her contacts. I emailed a few of those who reviewed her book, and a journalist from the Guardian replied, telling me that what she did for Bailey’s book was as a friend and a favour.

    Write a great book but have no contacts and no awards… like thousands of us.
    It is discouraging, to be honest.

    Reply
    • Lucinda Halpern says

      March 22, 2021 at 8:38 am

      Katja, I completely understand your frustrations. It can be incredibly difficult to share your work time and time again with no response, and I know it must be disheartening. That said, I hope you’ll keep trying. Contacts and connections in this industry can indeed make a powerful difference, but they aren’t the only way to stand out. At Lucinda Literary (https://lucindaliterary.com), we always say the books that succeed need only have two of the following characteristics: fantastic writing, a fresh and exciting idea, and a strong platform. If you don’t have the platform others in your genre may have, this could simply be a sign to focus on polishing your writing and idea until they shine.

      Reply
      • Katja says

        March 22, 2021 at 10:55 am

        Well, thank you for your reply – it does make me feel better, indeed.

        And okay, I’ll keep going with book 2 that I’m currently working on. It is true, for sure, that my writing changes (for the better, I hope) as I go. 🙂

  4. Melodie Campbell says

    March 21, 2021 at 12:11 pm

    Wonderful, up to date tips, Lucinda! Thank you. I will pass this on to my Crafting a Novel students.

    Reply
    • Lucinda Halpern says

      March 22, 2021 at 8:40 am

      So happy to hear these tips will be useful to you and your students, Melodie! We share more insights like these and insider publishing knowledge on our blog (https://lucindaliterary.com/news/), if you or your students are interested.

      Reply
  5. Lacey Dancer Author says

    March 21, 2021 at 1:01 pm

    Very impressed with this posting. Excellent points on creating query letters. It is remarkably to the point and easy to understand for either the fiction or nonfiction writer.

    Reply
    • Lucinda Halpern says

      March 22, 2021 at 8:43 am

      Lacey, so pleased you found our insights helpful and accessible! I hope you’ll be able to put the tips to good use. If you’d like more information on querying and other writing tips, I suggest you visit our website (https://lucindaliterary.com)!

      Reply
  6. csperryess says

    March 21, 2021 at 3:48 pm

    Great advice. One of the challenges I’m finding with querying these days is that I can get a pretty strong query drafted, then because so many agents work through submittable, I have to carve my carefully crafted query into cumbersome chunks that no longer flow from one idea to the next. Such is life. I just keep querying.

    Reply
    • Lucinda Halpern says

      March 22, 2021 at 8:45 am

      Hi, happy to hear this advice resonated with you. This is really great feedback that I and our other agents will take into account. Lucinda Literary (https://lucindaliterary.com) also uses a submission form, but we’re always open to author insights on how to make our submissions process more efficient and intuitive!

      Reply
  7. Sue Coletta says

    March 22, 2021 at 7:56 am

    Fantastic tips, Lucinda! Thank you. Query letters take work and practice. Any tips specific to true crime? I’m in the process of putting together a new book proposal. For my last true crime book, Rowman & Littlefield came to me, so I got to skip the query process. Good thing, too, because it’d been years since I’ve written one. 🙂

    Reply
    • Lucinda Halpern says

      March 22, 2021 at 9:03 am

      Sue, best of luck! I would say: focus on the most memorable, dramatic, timely elements of your novel. Consider that even in your query letter, a reader should be immediately gripped.

      Reply
  8. Rich says

    March 22, 2021 at 2:24 pm

    Very useful. Hoping to query this year.

    Reply
    • Lucinda says

      April 13, 2021 at 4:54 pm

      Wonderful, Rich, best of luck to you!

      Reply
  9. Sarah Brentyn says

    March 26, 2021 at 12:38 pm

    Great tips, Lucinda. The last bullet point under the singing query letter was new to me. Interesting.

    About the first tip, I’m a bit…eh…bummed out, to be honest. I’ve noticed a lot of writers use their “About Me” (on blogs, social media, websites, author bios…) as a sort of laundry list of accomplishments. So-and-so is the winner of this award and short-listed here and published in this lit mag and that lit mag. That’s great but there is often nothing else. Like, who are you? Writers used to actually write about themselves in their bios and I miss that. But, alas, I’m not going to get them a publishing deal. 😉 I get it, I just miss knowing a bit about the authors I’m reading.

    Reply
    • Lucinda says

      March 28, 2021 at 10:16 am

      Sarah,
      Don’t be bummed! I love a sense of personality glimmering from a query letter. The best query letters find a way to do this (my preference: in the closing). I understand your point about finding an overwhelming list of accolades boring. If you want to convey is an audience for your book, for fiction especially, you could emphasize the particular writing style, the cultural appetite at that moment…

      Reply
      • Sarah Brentyn says

        March 31, 2021 at 6:49 am

        Good tip about putting “personality” in the closing. Hadn’t thought about the writing style and/or particular trend your fiction follows. That doesn’t work for my strange writing style but is a great tip. 😉 Thanks!

  10. Peter Taylor says

    March 27, 2021 at 6:56 pm

    Many thanks for this, Lucinda. I love your thought that it’s not too presumptuous to suggest a phone call could be of mutual benefit – which I take it may be useful for non-fiction to show flexibility to adjust an idea…perhaps to fit a publisher’s requirement.

    At the London Book Fair in 2010, I chatted to a few publishers’ staff and was surprised how many had wish lists. (It was the year of volcanic ash from Iceland stopping flights and limiting attendees with appointments, so those on stands were pleased to talk to anyone.) One publisher wanted a book of recipes a child can cook, and was so desperate to have one in their catalogue, the sales rep nearly followed me around the trade fair saying ‘I’m sure you could research and write it!’

    A Canadian publisher displayed a calligraphy book on their stand, potentially competing with one of mine. In our conversation, the sales manager said they never wanted to publish a calligraphy book! It was only released because they didn’t find anyone to write and illustrate what they really wanted—a book on How to Draw Borders.

    Another publisher didn’t want a calligraphy book – they wanted a calligraphy kit, and again, a different one would consider a book on fun lettering. But when I verbally pitched an idea for a book on Fun Lettering for Children to GMC Publications, discussion was essential, and they said ‘No…but can you write one on Calligraphy for Greetings Cards and Scrapbooking?’ – and I gained the contract.

    At that time, I discovered a range of publishers that would have welcomed proposals for books specifically on Kangaroos, Koalas, Fungi, Small Furry Animals, Baby Elephants, Awsome Bugs, The Seashore, and more…but ‘Calligraphy for Greetings Cards and Scrapbooking’ kept me busy for 18 months, and since then, a picture book (published) and a YA (synopsis in progress).

    Maybe one of the publishers I spoke to would still like a how-to book craft book on the topic we discussed…

    Huge thanks for the list of proposal essentials I received from subscribing today to your Lucinda Literary newsletter!

    Reply
    • Lucinda says

      April 13, 2021 at 4:53 pm

      So thrilled to hear this post and proposal essentials were helpful to you, Peter. I understand it can be daunting to suggest a next step to someone with whom you’ve never communicated before, but the downside is to let your query remain passively in the slushpile…I’m all for writers creating urgency and momentum!

      Reply

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Anne R. AllenAnne R. Allen writes funny mysteries and how-to-books for writers. She also writes poetry and short stories on occasion. She’s a contributor to Writer’s Digest and the Novel and Short Story Writer’s Market.

Her bestselling Camilla Randall Mystery Series features perennially down-on-her-luck former socialite Camilla Randall—who is a magnet for murder, mayhem and Mr. Wrong, but always solves the mystery in her quirky, but oh-so-polite way.

Ruth Harris NYT best selling authorRuth is a million-copy New York Times bestselling author, Romantic Times award winner, former Big 5 editor, publisher, and news junkie.

Her emotional, entertaining women’s fiction and critically praised novels have sold millions of copies in hard cover, paperback and ebook editions, been translated into 19 languages, sold in 30 countries, and were prominent selections of leading book clubs including the Literary Guild and the Book Of The Month Club.

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