by Ruth Harris
A term used in scoring tennis, “unforced errors” are not caused by the actions of the player’s opponent, but they’re the responsibility of the player him/herself. S/he is caught wrong-footed, out of balance, unable to return the serve, incapable of making the winning shot.
The concept of unforced errors can also be usefully applied to writers. Unforced errors are the self-inflicted harm we do to ourselves.
To be specific—
1. Premature publication.
OK, get your mind out of the gutter. 😉
By premature publication, I mean releasing a book before it’s ready.
It’s finished! It’s wonderful! Everyone’s gonna love it! The author is drunk and giddy with excitement.
Uh, really?
Best to calm down and cool your jets. We know you’re thrilled and we know why. But. Give reality and sobriety a chance to sink in.
Has anyone beside you read it? Your roommate? Significant other? Beta readers? Crit group? Or, ahem, your editor?
I know a writer whose mom who was a math teacher. She wasn’t much of a reader and certainly no literary critic, but she was a whizz at spotting repeated words and circled each repetition in red. The manuscript looked as if it had developed a case of chicken pox. The writer, lost in a daze of gauzy fantasies, experienced a sudden shock and got busy rethinking and rewriting.
Comments and reactions from unbiased readers (even math whizz Moms) can help ground you and introduce a healthy sense of perspective before you unleash your latest, greatest on the reading public.
- Does saggy middle have to be tightened?
- A meh character who needs a spine?
- Your first chapter lacking important essentials?
- An ending that fizzles out?
- Over worked and underperforming adjectives?
- Adverb infestation?
Sometimes the necessary tweaks — word changes, reworked sentences — can be made easily and those tweaks can make a significant difference.
Other issues — plot problems, weak first chapter — will take a bit more time and thought but are essential to address before your book becomes a mess of unforced errors.
2. Hype and BS Lead to Embarrassing Unforced Errors.
The query letter states that the author is the next Stephen King/ John Grisham/ Nora Roberts.
Wow! Fabulous! Terrific! Sign ‘em up!
Really?
Agents and editors have heard it before. And way more than just once.
They’ve also been told that This Masterpiece is a—
- “Sure fire bestseller.”
- “A million-copy bestseller.”
- “The next Fifty Shades of Grey.” (Would that be Fifty-one Shades of Grey?)
- “Guaranteed to break sales records.”
- “Better than LeCarré/JK Rowling.”
- “Headed for the NYT/Amazon/USAT bestseller list.”
Yes, writers need ego and, yes, writers need confidence.
But hype and BS don’t sell books. Never have and never will.
Period.
Please — stop with the oversell. It doesn’t work. Not for editors. Not for agents. Or readers.
Except maybe for an auto insurance pitch or the My Pillow guy.
But for writers?
Not so much.
3. Crushed by cliché.
Here are a few ways to start a book that will guarantee rejection.
- Character looks in mirror and describes what s/he looks like.
- Character looks in mirror/zones out in chemistry class/faces death and thinks Deep Thoughts.
- Story begins with a thrilling/romantic/scary scene. Turns out to be the character’s dream. Ugh! No!
- Also no: lengthy descriptions of setting — a ranch, a castle, a dingy motel, a Nineteenth Century estate in England, a tea plantation in Ceylon pre WWII. We do not need to see every stain on the carpet, each damask-upholstered Louis-the-quelque-chose chair, or the exotic plumage of a rare bird found only in wherever-we-are. A few well-chosen details will do the job.
- Death is another go-nowhere way to begin a book. Dead men (or women) don’t tell tales, they don’t wear plaid and they also don’t give the reader anyone to root for. Readers want to meet the main character, the person with whom they are going to identify.
Just in case you think I’m kidding, here’s a spectacularly unforgettable use of the clichéd waking-up scene from real life dating back to the days when I was an editor:
The manuscript began with a character waking up (always a no-no) in need of relief. He goes to the bathroom and the reader (that was me) was treated (subjected?) to a lengthy description of his urine stream, the sight and sound of said stream splish-splashing into the bowl, while sharing his Profound Thoughts And Dazzling Insights About Life With A Capital L.
This scene went on for pages. And pages.
I am not, repeat not, kidding.
I know you’re way smarter than to start a first chapter like this, but I thought I’d spell out what editors encounter in the course of their careers.
What? Editors jaded?
Ya think?
4. The usual suspects.
I know. I know. You’re sick of hearing it.
And I wish I didn’t have to repeat it yet again, but some unforced errors are like cockroaches — where there’s one, you can bet there are more. Editors encounter them them again and again. These annoying telltales indicate a writer who hasn’t taken the time or put in the effort to learn the basics of the craft.
- Crisp dialogue? Snappy banter? Are you sure?
- Is there enough white space on the page? Or do you turn the page and see dense paragraphs that present themselves like a heavy weight on the story?
- Can you wield cliffhangers effectively? Do you know how to end a scene or a chapter so that the reader will feel compelled to turn the page to find out what happens next?
- Does the story screech to a halt with info dumps? Has you learned how to add necessary backstory skillfully here and there in small nibbles where relevant?
- Are the settings compelling? Do they add depth and dimension to the story? Or is a rose just a rose?
- Do your characters come alive in living, breathing three dimension? Or do they just robotically push the plot from one point to the next?
Study Your 10 Favorite Books
If you’re not sure or even suspect you could improve, a good way to clarify what you’re aiming for is to make a list of 10 books you really love — the ones that carried you away, the ones that made you stay up way too late to read “just one more chapter.”
Now that you know the story and characters, reread the books as if they are textbooks and you are a student. The goal is to get down deep in the weeds to find out exactly what makes the books you absolutely love tick.
Be specific.
Pay close attention to the way the author handles the conventional tropes of romance/suspense/fantasy, the ones you found so compelling on your first reading.
Study the details of breathtaking plot twists, the character’s daunting setbacks and his/her unexpected solutions to the challenges s/he encounters.
Notice the exact word choices the author uses to describe fights, kisses and betrayals.
Make notes or underline specifics of dialogue, narrative and description.
Pay attention to details like the length of paragraphs, ie how many sentences. How long are they? And, while we’re at it, don’t forget that James Patterson made his millions by writing short chapters.
Note the first — and last — sentence of chapters.
Because writers learn by reading, your “school for one” will pay long-lasting dividends.
5. Doomscrolling, writer style.
Count on it: There’s always someone who wants to make you feel bad about yourself.
A critical parent. “You only got an A? Why didn’t you work harder and get an A+?”
A Nelly-no-no roommate quick with a put-down. You write horror? Nelly-no-no has an opinion about that: “Only idiots read horror.” Meaning, of course, that only idiots write horror.
A jealous friend. “I just loved John Le Carré’s latest!” s/he enthuses as you gift him/her a copy of your new book.
An envious writer buddy who tells you all about his/her great wonderful fabulous five-star reviews but never says one word about the lucrative, prestigious fiction prize you just won.
Anne goes into chapter and verse about “friends” and family who want to cut you down to whatever size they feel is necessary.
But believe it or not, sometimes that person is you.
You check your reviews/email (at least) once a day. You’re looking for a five-star review. An acceptance from the agent you’re sure is The One. We’re talking compulsion here even though you do know — don’t you? — that every writer gets one-star reviews and you certainly know that rejections far outnumber acceptances.
And you do know, don’t you?, that one bad review or yet another rejection can ruin a day. Or a week. Yet you keep checking your reviews/email like an addict keeps looking for the next fix.
You compare yourself to other writers. Writer X sells more — a lot more — books than you do. Your book page has fewer reviews. Your backlist is puny compared to Writer Y. Still, you can’t help yourself. You keep playing the comparison game and you keep losing.
You chase hot trends. Gothic suspense is riding the top of the charts and every writer in your Twitter/Facebook/Insta feed agrees that Gothic Suspense is on fire. Even though you’ve never read Gothic suspense and your usual genre is adrenaline-soaked action adventure, you decide to write a Gothic suspense. So you go for it.
But guess what? Your version of Rebecca is a bust. You wasted your time and energy for little reward.
What’s wrong with us? Why can’t we just stop?
Why do we seek out things that threaten us?
The short answer is that searching for danger is the way our brains are hard wired. Back when we were living in caves, threats might mean poisonous roots and berries, the presence of hungry sabre-toothed tigers prowling the neighborhood or the blood-thirsty tribe practicing human sacrifice living in the cave next door.
Mary McNaughton-Cassill, professor of clinical psychology at the University of Texas at San Antonio, explains: “That’s why we seem predisposed to pay more attention to negative than positive things. We’re scanning for danger.”
Because we need to protect ourselves and our families, she adds, “There’s this sense that we have to be watching all the time.”
Once we understand the primitive roots of our addiction to danger, we possess the ability to break that destructive cycle. We can take a break, take a walk, play with the dog or even contribute to domestic tranquillity and unload the dishwasher.
Then, when we go back to our computer, we’ll be able to remind ourselves to stay away from those 21st Century versions of poisonous berries, sabre-toothed tigers and that blood-thirsty tribe living in the cave next door.
Because, unlike those amateur manuscripts that start with a long look in the mirror (or the toilet bowl), sometimes we’re the ones who need to take a long look in the mirror.
Or, to quote Mr. Shakespeare, “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in the stars, but in ourselves.”
by Ruth Harris (@RuthHarrisBooks) June 28, 2020
What about you, scriveners? Have you ever sabotaged yourself with unforced errors? Have you been guilty of any of these five mistakes? How did you learn to get out of your own way and find success?
If you want to know what Anne’s been up to, over on her book blog, she’s talking to The Manners Doctor about how to deal with negative, unpleasant visitors to your social media pages. “What is Free Speech? Ask the Manners Doctor.”
BOOK OF THE WEEK
DECADES (Park Avenue Series, Book #1)
Available at All the Amazons
THREE WOMEN. THREE DECADES.
“The songs we sang, the clothes we wore, the way we made love. DECADES will have three generations of American women reliving their love lives and recognizing ruefully and with wry affection just what changes have overtaken them. The characterizations are good and the period atmosphere absolutely perfect.” —Publisher’s Weekly
“Evokes the feelings of what it was like to grow up female in the innocence of the 40’s, the movie-formed dreams of the 50’s, the disillusion of the 60’s. It’s all here—the songs, the headlines, the national preoccupations, even the underwear.” — New York magazine
OPPORTUNITY ALERTS
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Ha!
Great list of Facepalm Moments. As a veteran critique group member & leader, these are all so very familiar. Being reminded of these mistakes makes me smile. But running into them on the page or in the critique group makes me cringe. Well done, Ruth.
CS—Amazing, isn’t it, how some mistakes *never* disappear? We just see the same ones over and over. And over!
One of the issues with the “usual suspects” is they actually aren’t easy skills to learn at all. Even studying a book for craft is an acquired skill, and it’s not nitpicking perceived errors in the writing. But most of these aren’t really taught either. I came up as a writer reading the craft books of the 1990s. I always felt like something was missing, and over the years, I struggled with some skills that no one talked about. It’s very hard getting a personal rejection for pacing and it’s barely mentioned in any modern books. So I’ve gone back to the well with older books, written by pulp writers and published in the 170s and 1980s. It’s been very eye opening how many craft skills have been dumbed down.
Linda—Excellent point. The old time pulp writers really knew how to engage and entertain readers. Those skills are indeed being lost. It’s a shame.
Excellent post, Ruth! I am amazed at the query letters I receive in class, where the student has put, “You’ll really love this, because it’s better than Dan Brown.” Nothing like telling an editor what to think! Also, you wouldn’t believe how many still want to start with a dream, or with a person already dead, telling their story. I try to tell them, if it’s a dream NOTHING HAPPENED. If the person is already dead, you ALREADY KNOW THE ENDING. Jeesh. We just have to keep telling them, I guess.
Melodie—Dept of Dumb Mistakes feels like a bottomless pit, doesn’t it? What’s astonishing is that the same dumb mistakes occur over and over no matter how many times writers are counseled to avoid them. Gets really frustrating!
Scanning for danger – is that what it is? Good to know.
I really can’t imagine the one with the dream and the urine. That’s sad someone thought others would want to read it. My brain is definitely not thinking anything deep at that moment in time.
Alex—Glad to hear you agree! Scanning for danger is an excellent way to describe what’s really going on when we keep reading reviews or stalking the mail box. Makes a lot of sense to me and gives us a way to break out of that discouraging loop.
Bravo Ruth. Well done. I found your list of Unforced Errors quite interesting, especially Premature Publication. “Addiction to danger'” Shakespeare’s quote….you make so many fine points. For my next book, I’m now rethinking my experience in the outhouse on the Miskito Coast of Nicaragua. Thanks for sharing with us!
Kenneth—Actually, you make your experience in the outhouse on the Miskito Coast of Nicaragua sound as if it might be interesting. After all, how many scenes set in outhouses have any of us read? I can’t remember even one!
Thank you for this post, Ruth. I am guilty of making unforced errors–caused by a myriad of reasons. One, envisioning that there’s one way to success. I have to write this type of book, in this type of way. That’s what that author did and it will work for me. Hmm, wait, no it won’t. Each author’s journey is different.
Leanne—so true! And so difficult to truly understand and accept. Each person is different. Each writer is different. So is each book and each career. We all must find our own path.
Thanks, Ruth. I almost peed myself when I saw the smiley. Excellent pause. Without it, I might have missed the humor. 🙂
Ten favorite books? I have a list, but they’re not the best-written books in the world. They excel because of excellent storylines.
Kathy—LOL! Glad the smiley helped!
You’re making an great point. The books we love aren’t necessary the best written. (I will *not* name names!) Their excellence comes from the author’s ability to tell his/her story well. When is information revealed/withheld? When and how are plot twists introduced — thru narrative or dialogue, directly or indirectly? Is character, setting or situation — and what combination thereof — the key? Closely noting the story-telling techniques of writers whose books we can’t put down, is key to improving our own work.
One of the great things about being a writer is that we never stop learning.
Great post and thank you for all the reminders of what we most likely do (or did) while writing a book. One thing that Number 2 brought to mind is: many agencies ask what “other” author’s book is similar to the one I’m querying about. I hate that. I am an avid reader of women’s fiction and I still have no idea if my writing is similar to anyone else’s novels. When I’ve guessed at that question, I always feel weird, like I’m trying to say I’m the next Richard Paul Evans or something. Just a personal irritant for me.
Patricia—Thanks for the kind words!
The reason agents and publishers ask for comp authors has to do with selling and marketing. The agent needs to be able to give the editor a reference point. If your book will appeal to women who enjoy Nora Roberts, you’re handing them an valuable selling tool. Ditto publishers: They need to tell their sales staffs and book buyers which market they should be aiming at.
A target — or, really, a category — is what they’re looking for. Not at all the same as saying you’re the next John le Carré.
Hope this explanation will make you fell less weird! It’s just the way the business works.
Thank you, Ruth, and yes, it does help. I can see the difference, for sure. And my publicist was good at helping me out with the dilemma. My mind just blanks out when asked the question! But I do “get it”. If readers enjoy X Author, then they’ll like my book. Gotcha!
Good list! Sharing it to Quora for some other authors to see.
Can’t believe someone would start a book with that toilet scene going on and on… weird!!
Adrijus—Thanks for the kind words and thanks, too, for the share. Appreciated!
Yeah. Definitely weird. To put it mildly. Memorable, tho.
No problem! Keep up the good writing! 🙂
Oh yes, I have definitely had those experiences as a writer. But, somehow, I’ve survived.
Tyrean—Bravo! 🙂
A lot of being a writer is just Not Giving Up.
I’ve found the Study Your Ten Favorite Books a useful practice. I recently chose Madeline Miller’s Circe, a very early Nora Roberts I read once a year, and McCaffrey’s YA Dragonsong to study in this way. I was shocked by how completely the authors follow the frames and formula’s… Do this: check. check. check. I loved learning about these books this deeply. It really was an education.
Lola—thank you for taking the time to comment. As you say, it’s an education and an excellent way for writers to learn and improve.
skidding in here a bit late, Ruth, but had to thank you for several good hard laughs…and for your excellent points… I agree with another comment that mentioned how writing books often fall short (I blame assumption of knowledge/experience), and even studying your favs is tough.
When Jurassic Park came out, waaaay back when, I read it in one sitting — then immediately read it again! I’ve now, decades later, read it at least 20 times because the engagement is the same every time, I remain engrossed every time. It’s fascinating to me why that might be, and I’ve done all kinds of parsing outs and dissections to figure it out. Never have. Crichton’s style, in that book, just caught me up and swept me away.
If I just press the book to my forehead will the answer ‘osmos’ into my brain? :O)
Thanks again for your post, stellar as always!
Maria—Thanks for the kind words. So glad to hear you had a few laughs. In these strange times, we need all the laughs we can get!
Interesting you’ve found JPark undecipherable. Maybe the answer is just “writer magic” altho ‘osmos’ is always possible, isn’t it? Countering one kind of magic with another, maybe, leads to the answer. But we’re mere mortals and might never know. We just keep on keeping on. 🙂
Ruth, you’ve thanked a few contributors for the kind words. Here comes the opposite. Not on purpose, just that I see these and I gotta mention ’em…the former h.s. English teacher arises again. Anyway, I read this: “Has you learned how to add necessary backstory skillfully here and there in small nibbles where relevant?” And then in your response to Kathy Steinemann, “an” instead of “a” and “necessary” instead of “necessarily.” You put these in there on purpose as examples of unforced errors, right? 😉
Fred—lol
Nope. They’re plain vanilla garden variety typos, but thanks for your efforts at putting me on the straight and narrow. 😉
I normally do not enjoy “do this not that” posts as are they are almost always silly and based on one persons experience, where another can have had great success by doing the exact opposite. This post however seems to me eminently sensible (as one guilty of contravening some of these rules) and failing with one book whilst following them and gaining success with other books.
raynayday — Thanks for taking the time to comment. Anne and I truly appreciate our readers and their interest.
We have both been in and around publishing for a long time—long enough to know very well there are no rigid do-this-not-that rules. At most, we offer suggestions/guidelines and trust our readers to use some common sense.
You’ve put your finger on what makes publishing so interesting and so frustrating: what works for one writer or one book doesn’t necessarily work for another. If only!