Collective grief is loud and unrelenting. But there are ways to tune it out.
by Anne R. Allen
There are a lot of jokes out there right now like the cartoon in The New Yorker showing a young woman saying something like “I couldn’t decide whether to work on my novel or my screenplay, so instead I ate three bags of chips, then lay on the floor screaming.”
A whole lot of writers are feeling the same pain.
I had a meltdown myself last Sunday night after spending the weekend on my tax prep. It involved a glitchy TV remote, a number of obscenities, and a bag of peanut M&Ms.
I’ve been self-quarantined since February 8th when I came down with a respiratory virus that may or may not have been Covid-19. At the time, there was only one test in the entire county, which–needless to say–did not have my name on it. Now they have more, but not enough. The good news is Stanford has developed a new test that tells you if you had the virus after you’ve recovered. Governor Newsom says this will be available in California very soon, so I may be able to find out if I had it.
At the time I was going through it, I was sure that when I was over the fever, brain fog, and insane coughing, I’d jump back into my WIP and zoom that thing back on the road.
It hasn’t happened.
We’re Experiencing Collective Grief
I’m hearing from an amazing number of writers who are having the same experience.
Many echo mystery author Tony Piazza, who wrote on Facebook last Sunday, “I’m not writing at the moment. Writers need a certain state of mind before tackling a novel, and with what is going on, I’m not there yet.”
The only other time I couldn’t get into that “certain state of mind” for writing was right after my mom died. I simply could not write fiction. I could cobble together some blogposts, but not much else.
Now I realize that’s because I’m now in the same situation. I’m grieving.
We’re all grieving.
In an article in the Harvard Business Review, grief expert David Kessler said, “We’re feeling a number of different griefs. The loss of normalcy; the fear of economic toll; the loss of connection. This is hitting us and we’re grieving. Collectively.“
It is not normal. As Chuck Wendig blogged this week, “you should not be expected to simply go about your day as if, gosh, I’ll be so productive now. I can do so many things! THIS IS ALL PERFECTLY FINE, you say through clenched and cracking teeth, eyes twitching and wet with tears.”
To me, the grief and anxiety are like the jackhammers that are battering the street outside my window. It’s a loud, persistent pain that’s almost impossible to shut out of my consciousness.
Wednesday morning, listening to those jackhammers while trying to process the ever-worsening news and deluge of misinformation, I was reminded of the Edna St. Vincent Millay line in her sonnet 113: “I spend/ Loud days that have no meaning and no end.”
But there will be an end, and we can find meaning, in spite of the jack-hammering.
The Importance of Focus
Rachel Thompson, of Bad Redhead Media, tells us it helps to work on focus. This makes sense. What overwhelms us about the current state of the world is the enormous, terrifying reality of it all. Focus allows us to step away from our collective grief and look at one small thing at a time.
Some of her suggestions are:
- Limit Internet time.
- Schedule writing time. Since I live and work at home, I’ve done this for decades, but I know new writers often don’t. They don’t feel their writing “deserves” to be a priority. It does. Especially now.
- Make lists. Lists make order of chaos. They help you tackle obstacles in small chunks.
In other words, focus so intently on one thing, you can tune out the collective grief and pain. So write something. Anything. A lot of us can’t face the WIP, but you can write something short. An essay, a journal entry, a poem.
Help Your Readers
Frances Caballo, of Social Media Just for Writers, tells us to turn our attention to our readers, and do things that will help them.
Some of her suggestions are:
- Reduce the prices of your books or make some of them free. Lots of people are stuck at home with no money to spare. They’ll remember your kindness.
- Remind people that novels are a great escape from the current chaos.
- Spread hopeful news on social media.
I think these are terrific. I see indie authors making their books free, which is wonderful. (I’m with a small press, so that’s not up to me, but I do have some 99c books right now: see below.)
Adjust your Expectations
Becca Puglisi, at Writers Helping Writers, reminds us that expecting yourself to be able to write at the same pace as you did three months ago is self-defeating. Give yourself credit for whatever you can accomplish.
A lot of us have an urge to pretend the world is not in chaos. We tell ourselves that if we do exactly what we would have done before the plague, all will be well.
It won’t. It will be worse. So let up on yourself.
Becca says “Recognize that you’re not going to be as prolific or efficient as usual, and be ok with that.”
Rachel, Becca, and Frances have lots of great ideas, so do read their complete posts.
Avoid Panic-Mongering and Negativity
Rachel Thompson’s advice to limit Internet time is key. We must tune out the collective grief to focus on our own well-being.
We’re all hungry for news about the pandemic. And since official news briefings can be less than straightforward, we’re scrolling through social media looking for up-to-date information.
But too much of what we see is likely to incite anger and panic. Plus all the conflicting news makes us feel helpless.
Panic, rage and helplessness are not good for our immune systems or our muses.
But here’s something you can do: if you don’t know if something is true, DON’T share it. Nothing is helped by inducing panic in your friends and followers.
Don’t share anything on social media of dubious origin, no matter how alarming.
If it’s not a vetted article from a well-known news source, and there’s no link back to the website, check Snopes. This week I saw two bogus articles circulating on social media that claim to be from 1) “John Hopkins Hospital” (It’s actually Johns Hopkins) and 2) Stanford Medical Center—and they’re both bogus articles, full of misinformation.
No, Listerine doesn’t have twice the alcohol content as vodka; Sacramento has not banned the sale of wine, and weed does not cure COVID-19. 🙂
Even if you think some article making the rounds may be true, ask yourself why you’re sharing it. Is it going to induce panic? Can we do anything about it? Is spreading the rumor going to make matters worse?
Then don’t share it.
If social media contacts are indulging in panic-mongering, negativity, or paranoid rants–or if they’re telling you this is all a hoax–mute them. I’ve had to do this. FB says they won’t know they’re muted, and it sure helps my mental health.
Don’t Mass-Forward Anything in Facebook Messenger!
Frances Caballo’s advice to share hopeful messages is great. But DON’T mass-forward them if they come to you via Facebook Messenger.
And don’t open them! The last thing you need is a computer virus to go along with with corona.
Facebook Messenger is scam central right now. The mass-forwarded stuff is full of malware and viruses.
Yes, even the video of a basket of kittens with the message that the sender values your friendship and please send this to all your friends who need cheering up.
They’re not going to feel so cheery when their computer is hijacked with malware or their identity is stolen.
So do not mass-forward anything in Messenger and don’t click on anything mass-forwarded to you. Whether it’s misinformation about how holding your breath will cure the virus, or just an adorable video of baby goats, it’s potentially dangerous.
Any content that asks you to forward it to all your friends and relations is suspect.
No, you won’t have bad luck if you “break the chain.”
But you will lose a lot of friends.
Facebook Messages are not for playtime. They are for important communication. Most of us have phones that ding every time we’re sent this dangerous nonsense.
Here’s the thing: Most of the workforce are working from home. Every ding from Messenger takes us from work and it’s money out of our pockets, even if it’s not virus-riddled.
If you find a video or photo you want to share with your followers, put it on your page. You can tag the people you especially want to see it. (“Tag” means you put their name in your post and wait until the little blue version of their name comes up, then click on it so the name is blue in your post.)
Talk on the Phone
Call somebody. Call, not text. How long has it been since you’ve had a real conversation with a distant loved one or an old friend? I’ve had great conversations with a cousin I haven’t seen in over a decade, a number of old friends, and my sister, whom I see several times a year, but don’t chat with on the phone anymore.
Phone calls are fun. They’re much more fun if you have a landline phone with a nice 20th century rounded handset, but any kind of talk is good.
Who knows? You may start talking about a long ago incident that will spark a new story or poem.
Read
Yeah, it seems so obvious, why say it? Well, because even I forget sometimes. Sunday night when the remote went out, and changing the batteries didn’t work, I finally picked up my book—a wonderful Anne Tyler family drama, A Spool of Blue Thread. It was better than the Netflix series I was going to watch anyway.
Plus reading is a more active activity for your brain than simply watching a video. So it’s more likely to give you a sense of satisfaction. Plus I find if it’s a mediocre book, it inspires me to write because I can do better, and if it’s a great book, it gives me something to aspire to.
If you’re sheltering alone and you crave the sound of the human voice, try audiobooks. Or just turn on the radio while you read. I find that listening to our local NPR station can calm my mood immediately.
And it keeps me off the Internet.
I know some people find they have no ability to concentrate on something as long and complex as a novel right now. The Atlantic‘s daily newsletter suggests “turning to poetry to nurse your shrinking attention span back to life.” Try some short ones, like Edna St. Vincent Millay’s sonnets I linked to above.
Go Through Your Archives
Okay, the weight of collective grief keeps your brain from being able to face the WIP. The novel or memoir may require deeper contemplation than you can handle right now.
But you might be able to write other stuff.
So why not take this time to through some of your older work? Go mining for gold in those old files!
- That clever story you never finished.
- The half-written novel that never went anywhere but has great characters and a fabulous opening chapter.
- A sick novel you could never quite fix
- A flash fiction piece you always meant to submit to some magazine and never got around to.
- There’s that flabby story that never quite worked.
- And how about that journal from 5 years ago where you jotted down tons of great ideas, but never had time to get back to?
Maybe you can polish up the finished work and send it out. How about taking that one fabulous chapter and turning it into a short story? Or write a new story about the old characters. Or flip through that journal and start a whole new work with some of those great ideas you came up with.
And that sick novel? Ruth Harris has just the tools you need to revive it in her post on How to Rescue an Endangered Book.
Or how about turning that out of date vampire horror tale into a hopeful story? This week KM Weiland wrote about the power of hopeful stories.
Maybe you can turn that flabby story into a poem. Yes, a poem. Even if you don’t write poetry. It’s National Poetry Month! Be brave. (It will tighten your prose.)
Journal
Nothing inspiring in the old journal? Starting a new journal can also be a great way to keep yourself writing.
If you’re like me you probably have some gorgeous blank-page journals people have given you that you feel are too pretty to write in.
This is the time to use one.
Meditate
Meditation, deep breathing, or self-hypnosis can help your body release some of those stress hormones and hit the reset button.
When you send your overwrought brain on a little vacation, it will work much better.
Here’s a guided imagery file from hypnotherapist Gila Zak C.Ht. She’s offering it free to help people through this tough time. She has an amazingly soothing voice. The link is courtesy of my insurance agent, Elizabeth Kunemoto, who knows this stuff keeps down our medical bills. 🙂
Practice Gratitude
I know that “Count your Blessings” sounds trite and sappy, but the truth is, it works. Make yourself write down 10 things you’re grateful for when you start to slide into the old Slough of Despond. Or better yet, do it every day. You’ll feel better.
A neighbor who’s a recent widow reminded me of this in an email after she saw a couple of people being interviewed about how their spouses were getting on their nerves. The widow said “I’d give anything to be able to look at my husband after 10 days in isolation and think, ‘You’re bugging the crap out of me right now!’”
I can be wildly grateful that nobody’s jack-hammering my street today. (Replacing gas lines is apparently a slow, tedious—and very noisy—job.)
I have a home, noisy as it is, enough food to eat, and I’m not out of toilet paper yet. All of which makes me grateful
Gratitude. It’s good medicine.
Commit Random Acts of Kindness
You can brighten some one’s day with small things that can make a huge difference.
A lot of you have time to write reviews now. Write them. They’re helpful to readers as well as authors.
Plus a simple wave or genuine smile can do so much in this time of grumpy, suspicious scowls.
Send a donation to your local Food Bank, even though they haven’t sent you a request for money. (They’re too busy!)
Or offer to pick up a few things at your farmer’s market for a quarantined neighbor. Or slip a bag of peanut M&Ms in their order from the drug store (Thanks, Neal!)
Thank a grocery clerk, double-tip a food delivery worker. Give a big smile and thank you to the cleaning crews who are risking their lives and working their butts off to keep us safe.
Do a nice thing. It will brighten your day too.
***
by Anne R. Allen (@annerallen) April 5, 2020
How are you holding up, scriveners? Are you writing away at your WIP in blissful solitude? Or are you unable to write because of large noisy families at home? Are you solitary in a perfect writing environment, but so overcome with collective grief you can’t write? Tell us how you’re coping with the pandemic.
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***
featured image: William Blake, Albion, 1793
Those are some fantastic tips and alternatives to eating five bags of chips. I’ve really limited my news checking, as that can just suck all the life out of me. But some of those other ideas I can try as well. Including reading more!
Alex–Yeah, the news can drive you nuts. I found myself scrolling through Facebook for hours, getting more and more upset. Not a great idea. And yeah, reading can take you away from all the present anxieties. Even if you don’t feel like reading something new, sometimes rereading a book you love can improve your mood.
Anne—Thanks for the excellent, idea-filled post.
Something else that might be draining us of energy and making us feel exhausted: video or virtual conversations/meetings. I just read that having to balance the disconnect between “feeling” as if we’re in the same room/place as someone else while “knowing” that we’re not, is cognitively exhausting.
Made sense to me.
Also, I find that being deprived of the mundane encounters of everyday life is itself deadening. Can’t believe I’m the only one.
No wonder we’re not inspired.
Ruth–That’s fascinating! I have been resisting getting into the Zoom culture, although I know I must. But I didn’t know that it’s cognitively exhausting. I can imagine it is. Maybe that’s where my resistance comes from.
I haven’t experienced that “deadening” of no social interaction, but I can imagine it’s especially creepy and unpleasant in a normally bustling city. Luckily I live in a beach town where people are still walking around a lot, so every time I go outside, I usually see a neighbor, at least to wave to. It helps. If they weren’t there, I’d go a little bonkers.
Wow, Anne even when you were feeling so poorly it never dawned on my slow brain that it could have been, you know, that! Whew. But now that you’re past it, nothing could be better than that if true- you’d have some immunity, maybe even prove to be a source of convalescent serum for others! Boom!! New plot for Camilla, only her antibodies can save her worst enemy, and after all she is Miss Manners.
I never was able to manage much in the way of a writing routine, so the disruption has been less for me. But last night, with the TV and internet off for once, I just sat on the bed in the guest room and recited what I know about my band of heroes, the ones in my next novel. What’s their basic attitude, which other members do they get along with and which not-so-much, where do they get to in terms of their personal arcs by the end of the novel? The crested gecko in the cage was not impressed, but then all my heroes are mammals… I’m not sure but I might feel the stirrings of something creative coming on.
Terrific list of things to consider. Self-care now more than ever because it’s going to be tougher for others to help you for a while. Not that we wouldn’t want it!
BTW, peanut M&Ms, I knew I was dealing with a classy dame.
Will–I love the idea of reciting your plans for your next novel to your gecko. Maybe we should all do that. I know I have a terrible habit of saying my plans out loud when a human is in the room. When their eyes glaze over, I realize I wasn’t saying it for them. I was saying it for myself. Just saying the ideas out loud seems to make them more concrete than jotting down notes. Maybe I’ll try talking out my next one to my bromiliad, or maybe the camellia outside my office window.
Yes, I’m hoping I had it and I’m immune now. But of course I still have to wear a mask and gloves when I go out, because it could have just been the world’s worst flu. Intriguing plot1
I’ve been playing video games with my husband more this week. It’ a nice escape that I can concentrate on. We’re playing Borderlands 2 which has some nice silliness among the running around and killing bad guys. I’ve also been rereading the Harry Potter series and have found going back to that really nice, a bit like going back in time.
Crap, I keep forgetting I’m logged into my gamer account when replying to writing blogs. LOL
Patricia–Haha. I wondered who Noobie was!
I can imagine videogames a wonderful escape from reality. And the fact you can play them with your spouse makes it a way to be “escaping” together.
As I said to Alex, I think rereading beloved books is a wonderful way to take yourself out of the present state of panic. I hadn’t thought of them as a means of time travel, but I think you’re right!
I’m probably the outlier here, because I’ve actually welcomed this ‘safe at home’ reality. (Though I’ve had to pop up my head more times than I wanted, because, supplies. Teenage males are expensive to feed.)
But your post on grief resonates with me. This fall and winter, my (above mentioned) son with high-functioning ASD had a mental health crisis. Add the chaos of holiday gatherings, and there you have it– my brain was bound up.
For those who are struggling, take heart. We are an adaptive species, and while things may never be the same, they do get better.
Dominique–I’m with you. I’m an introvert who welcomes time alone. But this seems different. This collective pain. And yes, the trips to the grocery store are excruciating. I ventured out for the first time on Friday, wearing my mask and gloves. It was a surreal experience.
So sorry you had to deal with your son’s breakdown at the same time as you’re dealing with all this. But you’re right. Humans are amazingly adaptive.
Hey Anne, After reading this very helpful and insightful blog, I am reminded why I am one of your biggest fans. Thanks for the great tips, putting things in perspective, and expressing just about everything I have been feeling or thinking but unable to express in my jumbled mind. You are truly one of a kind. Once again you grabbed my attention with the first sentence and never let go. Such a refreshing, no-nonsense approach with the added bonus of the common sense we so desperately need at this challenging, bewildering time.
But most of all, I am SO glad you are over the virus! What a battle that must have been. Hopefully you will put your experiences to good use in a book one day when your mind can comfortably revisit that dark place and celebrate such a massive victory!
Bonnie–So cool to see you here. Writing this post helped me un-jumble all that stuff that’s causing so much chaos in our brains. I suppose I will write about this when it’s all over. But it’s hard to write about things when you’re in the middle of experiencing it. Playwright Marsha Norman once said, “You can’t write about anything until it’s over.” I think she was right.
Thanks so much for including a link to my blog post. I so appreciate it! I also love your tips on the importance to meditate, journal, practice gratitude, and Read. I posted a message on my Facebook profile asking people for suggestions for great YA books to read. (I am a latecomer to YA books; I just started reading them about 8 months ago and I love them.) I received so many responses. Now I have a long list of books to order and read. Don’t be afraid to ask people for tips on how to cope if you are having a difficult time. It’s also a time to be completely honest. If you have a bad day, ask for some quotes about hope or ask your readers what gives them hope. Ask questions. Reply to questions. Converse with people online. And stay home and be safe.
Frances–Thanks for inspiring this post. I loved yours and realized I could write my own piece addressing this issue of not being able to write when we have the time we’ve always wanted.
I love the idea of getting a brand new TBR list and delving into a whole new genre.
And yes, we’re not alone. This would all be so much harder in the days before the Internet.
I’ve gotta share a wonderful COVID distraction with you and your gang, Anne. This week, Sue Coletta and I had the super experience of helping another author with her illustrated children’s book. It’s written for 3 – 8 year-olds and explains the COVID lifestyle adjustments in a way that little kids can understand what’s going on without frightening them.
This project came out of the blue when our collective friend shipped us her draft and pics for our opinion. We took to it like a fish in water with Sue doing the edits and me formatting it into an eBook. It went up Amazon on Friday and this morning it’s sitting in the #2 (paid) spot in the Children’s Kindle Health/Diseases section. BTW, this was a volunteer thing on Sue & my part. It’s amazing what a pandemic can throw at you. As for those jackhammers – just ignore them and they’ll go away when we get back to whatever is normal. 🙂
Garry–How wonderful that you and Sue were able to jump into this project! Being helpful and useful while also being creative is a great thing.
The other problem you didn’t mention is that you cannot get away from it. You walk out on the street and people are in masks. You go to the grocery store and everyone is staying six feet apart. You turn on the news and get non-stop coverage. It’s overwhelming.
And this is my THIRD go round on this. The first was Desert Storm and the second was 911 (I’m in DC and was at work when the planes hit). During Desert Storm, my mental energy was entirely focused on being scared 24×7. There was no place to go, no way to get away from it. I kept thinking I had to write to escape from it, and I couldn’t do it.
This is different for me. I do have some control. I can walk as often as the weather permits and look at the flowers blooming, check the dogs people are walking. People who come out are more friendly and greet me. I can call people. I can’t write right now, but I can do other writing-related activities. I just opened my book folder and started with the top one. The book needed and interior refresh and a new cover. Done. Can’t post it right yet, so I’m onto the next one. It’s tedious work I don’t normally like to do, but it’s routine and normal. Sometimes when the storm’s headed your way, you just have to steer in another direction.
Linda–I haven’t been out much, but my one trip outside was really disconcerting. People distancing and not talking, everybody masked. It’s almost worse then hearing the endlessly escalating death tolls.
You have to be one dedicated writer to try to write when you were a soldier deployed to a battle zone. I should think writing under those circumstances would be pretty impossible. 9/11 too. Especially if you saw it in person.
Great to know that you’re following my tip of going through the archives and doing some cleanup.
My writing has been on the back burner since late winter to begin with (work and family issues) but it took more of nose dive this year due to even more serous family issues and now the COVID19 (been working at home since mid March).
It’s only been in the lat week or so since I decided to go through my notebook of printed pages (I print out completed pages so that I can edit/make notes as I go along, and because my immediate writing area has been turned into my office (so to speak), the writing I decided to start doing this past Sunday (4/5) the old fashioned way with ye olden pen and paper. Got maybe 120+ words written so far. Not much, but it’s a start.
G. B. I have heard of writers who got rid of writers block by writing long hand. And you’ve just proved it works. Congratulations. Hey, 120 words is more then 0 words, which is where I’m at. 🙂
Words to live by during these trying times. Thank you Anne for sharing and thank you readers of Anne’s blog for your comments. It is comforting to know we are not alone.
Kenneth–It’s true we’re not alone. We’re all in this together, and the readers of this blog prove it.
Thank you for this timely article, Anne. To add to your suggest to start a journal, I’d add free writing. I find that it helps to get all that stuff out of my head and throw it at the page. The beauty of free writing it that it doesn’t have to be pretty.
Leanne–I have just been getting back into what Julia Cameron calls “morning pages”–which are free-writing. Just getting your thoughts down on the page helps organize them. It’s a good practice.
I’m glad you’re doing better, Anne. We can’t do without your posts.
Load up on more peanut M & M’s ammo to soldier on. You did the right thing.
GB–Peanut M&Ms are the perfect stress eating food. They provide that crunch you need that keeps you from gnashing your teeth or biting somebody’s head off, plus the sweet, soothing taste of chocolate. 🙂
I’m glad you’re feeling better. Thanks for the post. There is tremendous pressure now to “be really productive because we have all this free time.” Unfortunately, some cannot do that. They are rightly scared for their vulnerable family and friends in the worst spots. They are worried about lost income for them. It’s good to keep busy and distracted for our mental health, but to expect everyone to be happy and productive in these times is unrealistic and even a bit cruel. Thanks for letting us know it’s okay to be human.
Missi–That’s exactly it–we’re stressed, anxious, and afraid–as well as grieving the people we’re losing and the comfort we’ve lost. Yeah. We’re humans. This is what happens when the community is stressed. We’re communal animals, so the stress affects us all.
A satisfying & timely post, Anne. Thanks. I’m thinking years from now, while looking through insightful quotes people will be finding your name under, “…we can find meaning, in spite of the jack-hammering.”
CS–Yes, I suspect jack-hammering will go on forever. And it will always make thinking difficult. Sigh.
What great ideas! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences, Anne.
I tend to think of grief as the pain of adjustment. Kind of like Rolfing for the soul. Things in place for a lifetime are ripped out of place and we are forced to adjust to the new positioning.
I use music to distract me usually, but have switched to audio books that boom through the house most of the day.
I schedule my time. Consults, editing, writing assessments, and ‘purge’ writing. The latter is a free-for-all exercise and mandatory. Clears out negative crap. Makes room for ‘thankfuls’…
As an admitted CNN junkie, I now limit my viewing to one hour. I have a timer. News junkies need timers. My allotted time is often spent watching Gov. Cuomo. I can feel my muscles relax within 2-3 minutes of watching him.
I’m so glad you’re feeling better. I was ill with what could only have been C-19 last Nov. and Dec. I began to feel released from the fog in mid-March. I hope the test for antibodies is available soon.
Spring is here where I live. The trees are putting out tiny leaves. The early flowers are everywhere. Is it okay that I kissed my daffodils? :O)
Take care, Anne and Ruth…and everyone else!
Maria D’Marco
Kansas City
Maria–Great way to look at grief. It is a painful process of adjustment. Limiting TV news time is a must. I found myself watching it for hours, getting more and more horrified.
I have the same reaction to Andrew Cuomo. Love that man!
And yes, spring is coming. 🙂
I would hazard the use of ‘infatuation’ for the big brother, Andrew…but that’s the quarantine talking…
Thanks for sharing! When my heart rate starts to escalate, I have to turn off the news/internet. I’m finding I can’t revise my story right now, but I’m working on plotting the next one and that seems to be helping. Stay safe!!!
Jemi–Everybody has different default settings. I can edit when I’m stressed, but I can’t create. Be happy you are creating. Looking forward is always better than looking back. 🙂
Great suggestions, Anne. Today is First Monday in Australia when I post my writers’ blog. The post was already done when Chuck Wendig’s “None of this is Normal” landed in my inbox. I scrapped my draft and grabbed his thoughts like a lifeline.The two of you will, I hope, help me find my way back. And if I don’t, not to beat myself up over it. So many writers berate themselves for not using this precious time.They can, either by grieving, doing some of your list, or just being kind to ourselves. My blog is at https://tinyurl.com/rz2gfsk (hope it’d OK to share) My teeth are fragile and our dentists largely closed, so no Peanut M & Ms for me, but plain chocolate, yeah. Whatever works.
Valerie–So even you are experiencing this phenomenon, even though you’ve written 90 books! I was moved by Chuck’s post too and I like your take on it. Yeah, chocolate in any form is helpful. My favorite chocolate delivery system is brownies, but I don’t have any in the house, which is probably a good thing. 🙂
True, Anne. Until reading Chuck’s and your posts, I felt like an utter failure, perhaps because I’ve written so much. Shows it can happen to anyone. I have a packet of Brownie mix in the pantry. Wish I could share.
Thanks, Anne, for helping to make this unproductive downtime feel OK. I was just beginning to emerge from a cocoon of bereavement and (non-Covid) illness when the ‘lockdown’ began, so I have been struggling with focus for months. I now realise we need to be kinder to ourselves first and foremost because that’s who we’re stuck with right now! Be well.
Oh Tan, as a widow, I feel your pain. Being lone makes all this so much harder. Take care of yourself.
Tam–We don’t deal well with grief in our present age. We don’t allow people time to heal. It’s a time when most people can’t be productive, and the push to get back to work too soon can do damage. Being kind to yourself will make you more productive when your process is over. So sorry for your loss.
Just so timely, Anne! Thank you for helping us cope, and not feel we’re the odd man out. All this time – why aren’t we super-productive? I usually write at least 3000 words a week, and I’m slipping badly. Partly it’s because my classes have moved online and I have to be on computer for those hours now. I can only be on computer so long in a day (arthritis in the hands).
But also…with the world in crisis, writing comedy is hard, I find. I’m writing the serious scenes in WIP at the moment, and hoping the comedy comes back with time, and when this becomes ‘the new norm.’ Thank you for this post!
Melodie–That’s the hardest thing for me now, too: being funny. I know laughter is the best medicine and all that, but I can’t seem to produce any right now. It’s good that you can at least write the serious scenes. I’m going to try to tackle the WIP tomorrow, but if I can’t do it, I can’t. I have arthritic fingers too. I have to wear compression gloves to get going in the morning. We get punished so much for not dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse. 🙂
If you are not doing it already cut out tomatoes (and strawberries – two of the worst foods for arthritis sufferers.
What a great post Anne. You covered so much, and confirmed what a few of us seem to be detecting – the lack of concentration needed to create. Yes, we are all grieving or fearing with new anxieties. Most of us don’t like change and we’re living it. I’m glad you’re over what sounds Covid and I’m pretty sure I had a form of it myself, which will make me happy to eventually be tested to see if we did indeed have it. It’s important to know so that we could feel better knowing we’re now immune. Then people could start resuming back to life, as they get tested and safe. Oh, and great ideas about alternate writing. Yes, I can manage to write a blog post but no desire to start edits on my new book’s first draft I finished before Christmas. I truly believe this is the pause the world needed. May we all stay in and stay safe til we can go out to play again. <3
Debby–An easily available test would be such a godsend. As you say, people who have had the virus are now immune and could get the economy going again.
I think you’re right that in the end, we’ll see that this pause is something the world needed.
🙂 Stay safe my friend. And wear a mask! <3
I have a seamstress friend who made me some lovely masks. 🙂 A nice blue-green. They coordinate with my blue plastic gloves.
Lol, love the matchy matchy. I ordered one from Amazon that has library books all over it!!!!!
Thanks so much for this great post. I have been struggling mightily. This is helpful. I will be posting the link on my blog.
Rosi–Thanks for sharing this post. I hope it helps to know we’re all struggling. It’s simply being human.
Hi Anne,
Thanks you! Your column appeared just when I needed it.
A few minutes ago, I wrote in an email to a friend, “Working on bits and pieces and finding it hard to concentrate on a whole chapter. My writing seems so trivial.”
Knowing this is a “normal” feeling is more comforting than I can say. And the news about the Stanford test is great!
Bless you!
Ann R
Ann R–Yes, it’s normal. Very few creatives are able to do big, serious work right now. I didn’t think of this when I was writing the post, but I think we’re all in a heightened state of apprehension–like a sentinel keeping watch. We can’t concentrate on anything very long because we need our main concentration to be on listening for danger.
What a great post, Anne. Full of valuable information and help that I know many of us will find extremely helpful. I have a similar blog post being published today, and I will link back to your post because I know many of my readers will find it interesting to read and will also benefit from your great advice.
My post covers how I got myself out of my writing slump since the COVID-19 pandemic started. I found it was mostly down to reading too many blog posts that had a doom and gloom theme to them. Many were COVID-19 related, so I turned my attention to reading blog posts that continued humour, laughter and positivity. And, it seems to be working for me.
Anyway, I know your advice will come in very useful and it’s certainly helped me on my way in getting back into writing grove.
Take care and stay safe.
Hugh–Thanks much for the shout out. I’m one of your subscribers, so I saw your piece. You make a great point about keeping positive. That’s one of the best ways to combat the fear and over-arching sense doom.
Thanks Anne, very comprehensive with great strategies for coping. I definitely wish people would stop sending things to forward on messenger…right now I am not into platitudes especially when they might be virus laden. On the plus side, particularly online, people are being upbeat and carrying on as normal. We have both worked from home for 20 years and are usually quite reclusive, but worry about family who are sometimes countries away. I am glad I have the blog to focus on as my WIP is sitting idle at the moment. Hopefully this experience will manifest itself in some new perspectives about life and writing. Stay safe.
Sally–I’ve found that blogposts are all I can write now too. I do think most people are trying to be upbeat. I appreciate it all, but as you say, forwarded platitudes are not helpful. Also, denying the severity of the pandemic isn’t helpful either. We have to be realistic, but work to keep our spirits up.
I nodded all the way through this, Anne. The hypnotherapist link is AMAZING. Thank you! Would it be okay if I included the link in my upcoming blog post (full credit to you and the hypnotherapist, of course)? I think a lot of people could benefit from it.
Sue–I’m sure the hypnotherapist would be happy to have her work forwarded. My insurance agent said she wanted to spread it around.
Thank you for this post, I found it so calming to read! I’m an extrovert living alone in NYC, so this is quite literally my worst nightmare. My friends, bless them, keep trying for the silver lining of “You have time to write!” Nope. Haven’t written a word since this all began. Not even my usual articles for the internet, let alone work on any books. I get all my mental energy from being around people; if I can’t do that, I have no juice left for creative endeavors.
The calling-people-on-phone thing has been my saving grace. I’m a failed Millennial anyway, in that I like talking on the phone, but lately scheduling has proven an issue. (Everyone’s lunch break is different, everyone gets out of work at different times, and by the time my evening plans are over it is well past bedtime.) So it has been nice to chat with people, if only I had something more to chat about!
I found that my mood has become completely dependent on going outside. If it’s a nice day, I’ll wander laps in a nearby park for a few hours while on my phone, or just sit and read, and the world doesn’t seem as bleak. On the bad weather days when I’m indoors, that’s when it gets rough.
I’m so looking forward to these blogs now, it’s such a welcome respite from news of “X is cancelled because of coronavirus…” Thanks for keeping them coming!
Irvin–I’m glad the blog cheers you. I can imagine this is really tough for extroverts. My mom was very much an extrovert and I found myself being happy she’s not around to suffer through this. She would probably be on the phone 3 times a day to complain about the government response. Going outside is key, I think. We need to be in touch with nature even if we can’t be close to our own species. I’ve floated the idea of a block party to my neighbors. Everybody bring a chair and a beverage and sit 6 feet away from each other in the street. So far I haven’t had an enthusiastic response, however. 🙂
Thank you so very much, Anne. This is just what I needed to hear. I appreciate your thoughts. <3
Colleen–So nice to see you here! I’m glad the post was what you needed to hear.
This was great. I appreciated it. I’m trying to be disciplined using this time to rewrite my first novel (well my first novel that made it this far). Living in Georgia after such a wet, gray winter, the Lord has blessed us with a beautiful spring. Like a cat, I have my spot in the sun where I try to write. Thanks for this collective acknowledgment that this is hard. In so many ways. And the days we just can’t write — we are just being human.
Jamie–Some days we can’t write. But we can look for that sunbeam. And sit in it a while. I think you’re doing things just right.
I needed to read this today. I’m finally starting to come out of my fog, but you articulate exactly how I’ve been feeling. In the midst of all of this virus grieving, we’re suffering from the loss of the best dog I’ve ever owned in my sixty-one years. So many tears that needed to fall.
Pete–I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your animal companion. That can be as devastating as the loss of any other family member. To have personal grief as well as collective grief gives you an especially heavy burden. Hang in there!
I am relieved to hear you came through your poorliness and understand the battle with focus and writing. A helpful post, Anne. Thank you. Peanut M&M’s are number one in my hit parade. 😉 Wrapping you in much love. <3
Jane–Thanks! A friend just brought me a new supply of peanut M&Ms 🙂
Great post. I’ve felt guilty for not writing much as I seemingly have this expanse of time I wouldn’t normally. I was in a groove before Covid-19 hit and would love to get it back but understand it may take a while. Glad to know it’s not just me 🙂
Deanna–You are not alone! In fact any author who is writing at their usual pace is very much an anomaly. If you get some writing done, pat yourself on the back. If you don’t, know that you’re the member of a very big club. 🙂
Thank you for this great article. I have been reading as many as I can so I can keep reminding myself that all of us creatives are in the same boat. One thing I have done that helps so much: I have been getting together on Zoom with some of my author friends on Saturdays. I did not do any writing for a month (first time in 20 years) and the Monday after our first meeting, I hit the ground running. There really is something to group therapy! Take care, stay healthy, and stay happy.
Leslie–My writing group has been exchanging pieces via email and we’re trying our first Zoom meeting this week. I hope it works as well as yours! It’s encouraging to hear it got you writing again.