by Jacqueline Diamond
Today we have an amazing guest. Jacqueline Diamond is the author of 101 novels! Yup. You read that right. Jackie writes in many genres, and she’s recently returned to writing cozy mysteries. She read a lot of contemporary mysteries to prepare, and discovered what made her—as a reader—put down a book. Now she can give us the skinny on what NOT to do when you’re writing a mystery. A lot of these tips apply to other genres as well…Anne
Not again. Please, not again.
Struggling to conquer my fear, I reach out and click on the screen. No! I draw back in horror, the air suddenly heavy in my lungs.
Damn. Not another mystery novel that starts with the villain slashing up an innocent young woman.
For my 101st published novel, I returned to a genre in which I hadn’t written for more than a decade: the murder mystery. In preparation, I read or at least scanned the initial pages of numerous mysteries. Dozens were bypassed based on a few pages. Even those that made the cut to Buy Now sometimes proved disappointing.
We can’t always create unforgettable classics. But we can avoid mistakes that undermine our hard work and discourage readers.
I won’t dwell on problems common to all forms of fiction, such as head-hopping and multiple grammatical errors. Today’s subject is writing mysteries (not thrillers or romantic suspense, although some of the same cautions apply).
Let’s demystify it with a dozen ways not to write a mystery.
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The blonde-dies-at-midnight opening
A nasty villain stalks and murders an innocent woman in the prologue. Maybe this still sells, but I’ve heard from a lot of readers that they’re sick of it. (I can NOT read these books anymore. I call this the Law and Order opening, because they use it in every one of those TV shows…Anne)
Of course, it’s fine to start with a crime. Just make it unusual in some way.
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The hi-I’m-Sally-and-here’s-all-about-my-messed-up-life opening.
Cozy mystery readers do want to meet your engaging heroine as she ventures into a new town or career, but remember the old advice to show-don’t-tell.
Put the reader into a scene. Or, if you must start by addressing the reader directly, move into action within a page or so rather than dumping all the back story and introducing us to a long list of characters.
Now for clichés and other problems that can weaken the rest of the book.
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Incompetent police.
How many times have you read a mystery in which the detectives fixate on the wrong suspect and ignore clues that amateurs spot almost immediately?
Today’s police are well trained in investigative techniques. Do thorough research—and don’t rely on TV shows. I recommend starting with Forensics for Dummies (2nd Edition) by D.P. Lyle, MD. It’s thorough yet readable.
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A main character with no special talents who stumbles into clues.
Don’t have your sleuth accidentally solve mysteries—unless you’re very, very funny (as with Jana Deleon’s delightful Miss Fortune series). One of my pet peeves is when the heroine’s friends insist that only she can catch the killer, yet the author hasn’t established that she has any detective skills.
For my Safe Harbor Medical mystery series, I considered how my obstetrician hero, Dr. Eric Darcy, could legitimately help solve murders affecting his patients. I came up with two reasons: patients and their families trust doctors and share concerns that they might not disclose to the police. Also, doctors have access to privileged medical information. Although under certain circumstances it must be shared with law enforcement, much of the time it’s confidential. That doesn’t prevent the doctor from using it to help him figure out who the killer is.
(Note from Anne: yes, my “sleuth” Camilla is of the stumble-upon variety, and her only superpower is being very, very polite, so people tend to open up to her. But I hope the fact the stories are wild comedies makes that okay. 🙂 )
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Slapdash plotting.
A classic puzzle mystery is not the place for seat-of-the-pants writing, unless you’re willing to revise extensively. The reader expects genuine clues among the red herrings and a solution that plays fair. What’s unfair? Setting up half a dozen suspects and arbitrarily picking one at the end.
I’m delighted when readers tell me they couldn’t figure out who the killer was in The Case of the Questionable Quadruplet. I made sure to plant clues, but used sleight-of-hand to keep the reader’s attention focused elsewhere.
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Giving the villain nothing to do throughout most of the book.
While the main storyline involves your hero or heroine following a trail of clues, behind the scenes the villain should be pursuing his or her initial goal and scheming to avoid getting caught.
The result will be a better-developed plot with less need for arbitrary twists.
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Ignoring the police after the initial crime scene investigation.
I’m referring to cozy mysteries, of course, since this wouldn’t happen in a police procedural. Even though they can’t discuss an ongoing investigation, the police shouldn’t be just sitting around waiting for an amateur to solve the case.
Dr. Darcy’s best friend, Keith, is a homicide detective. We hear about his activities both from witnesses he’s interviewed and when he occasionally lets information slip by accident. Also, my widowed hero’s sister-in-law, Tory, is a PI who fills Eric in about what steps the police would be taking.
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Focusing too hard on the plot
When the characters remain little more than placeholders, like avatars in a videogame, we get bored.
Give them issues and conflicts that enliven the novel. For instance, Tory and Keith recently broke up after he cheated on her. They clash frequently, and put Eric in the middle.
He has his own personal issues to resolve. These interweave with the storyline and figure into his responses.
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Creating a main character too dislikable or foolish
The reader needs to care what happens to him or her.
Your main character should be flawed, but if she consistently lets herself be manipulated or he often drinks himself into a stupor, readers will lose patience. Even in a humorous mystery, don’t mistake irritating for funny.
Whatever the main character’s occupation, he or she should act the part. Example: a doctor wouldn’t assume that a head injury is minor. A police officer stays aware of his or her surroundings. An estate attorney is very precise about the terms of a will.
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Forgetting that murders are shocking and deaths are tragic.
While the author and reader know the book is a murder mystery and that corpses are to be expected, the characters should react believably.
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Showing too much.
While putting the reader into the picture is important, be judicious. Write only those scenes that pack an emotional punch or in which something changes.
Don’t be afraid to summarize the boring stuff, such as that the heroine talked to three people who had no idea who might have killed the victim. (One of my pet peeves. I wrote all about it in my post on Why Show Don’t Tell Can be Terrible Advice...Anne)
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Neglecting to find your own voice.
Even if you’re writing in a familiar tradition such as noir or light cozy mystery, do it your way.
For me, it was a challenge see the world through the eyes of a thirty-five-year-old male M.D. I did a lot of research and considered each scene and development carefully. I was also glad to hear from readers that, despite the suspenseful tone, Eric’s wry observations sometimes made them laugh, since humor is part of my natural voice.
I’d like to add a thirteenth suggestion. As a reader, I appreciate when the author finds an unobtrusive way to recap from time to time what we’ve learned and who might be a suspect. When I set a book down for day or so, I don’t always remember who’s who and what the clues were.
I hope I’ve helped you write a mystery that readers will love, enjoy and recommend. Now, go slay ‘em!
by Jacqueline Diamond (@jacquediamond) May 15, 2016
What about you, scriveners? What are your pet peeves in the overused plot department? What makes you stop reading a book? When you pick up a mystery, what do you look for?
This week Ruth has a short post on those fair weather friends who evaporate just when you need them. And Anne has part 4 of her series on Poisoning People for Fun and Profit. This week she talks about the most poisonous creature on the planet–the tiny poison dart frog.
Jacqueline Diamond
For her 101st novel, USA Today bestselling author Jacqueline Diamond launches the Safe Harbor Medical mystery series with The Case of the Questionable Quadruplet.
A former Associated Press reporter and TV columnist, Jackie has sold mysteries, medical romances, Regency romances and romantic comedies to a range of publishers.
BOOK OF THE WEEK
In The Case of the Questionable Quadruplet, young, widowed obstetrician Eric Darcy is stunned when the mother of triplets claims to have borne a fourth baby, a quad, that was stolen from her years ago. When someone murders his patient, Eric believes the police are dismissing a vital clue, and teams up with his PI sister-in-law to investigate, never imagining his own life might be in danger.
Available in ebook or print on Amazon
Jackie’s website
Facebook: JacquelineDiamondAuthor
Twitter: @jacquediamond
OPPORTUNITY ALERTS
MYSTERY AUTHORS! Here’s a list of 15 small presses that specialize in mysteries and do not require an agent for submissions. It’s compiled by “Authors Publish” Newsletter–a great resource. As I wind down this “opportunity alerts” feature, I recommend subscribing.
GREEN BRIAR REVIEW CONTESTS $10 ENTRY FEE. Categories poetry, nonfiction, and fiction. Up to three poems per entry. 1st Prize for poetry $250 and publication. Nonfiction and fiction deadline May 31, 2016. 1st Prize in each $250 and publication. Limit 6,000 words. Poetry deadline May 30. Fiction and nonfiction deadline May 31.
Literary Death Match 250 word Bookmark Contest. Judged by Daniel Handler (a.k.a. Lemony Snicket). Must be under 250 words. $1000 first prize. All finalists will be invited to read at LDM events near where they live. $15 for one entry $20 for two. Enter via submittable. Deadline May 16th, 2016
THE ROCABERTI CASTLE WRITERS RETREAT October 7th-12th, 2016 Held at Rocaberti Castle, Figueres, Spain (75 miles from Barcelona.) Not only is this the vacation of a lifetime in an enchanting castle, but participants get real publishing and movie deals here. Out of the eleven writers who attended the first Rocaberti retreat, one had her script optioned before the end of the retreat, two are currently in the midst of negotiations for books and scripts, and deals are in the works for several others. If you put “AA” for Anne Allen on your application, you’ll get a 10% discount.
I definitely avoid ones where the police are just baffling idiots. They wouldn’t be police officers for long if they were. Another is going for shock factor with a crime or grisly scene just because. (That rule applies to horror as well.)
Thanks for the list of how not to do it, Jacqueline!
A friend who’s a retired sheriff’s investigator vets my stuff. You should hear his comments when I make a mistake! Fortunately, he catches them before the book sees the light of day.
Thanks for an excellent run down of clichés and no-nos that, as Anne says, don’t just apply to mysteries. I’m writing a series of cozies set in Manhattan—no dogs, cats or cupcakes + a heroine who solves a crime using her publishing background as a proofreader. 😉
Jackie, I wonder if you outline ahead or let your characters do the work, especially in a mystery?
I do a huge amount of planning, letting characters, subplots, clues, etc. sort themselves out on the screen and in my brain. Then, for Questionable Quadruplet, I wrote a 25-page synopsis to be sure I hadn’t overlooking any major plot holes. But my characters still surprise me sometimes.
Thanks for this Ms. Diamond, a terrific list. Not sure if my heroes will ever have a murder to solve (epic fantasy tends to get distracted by the need to save the world and other annoying details) but #9 for sure. And #6 in SPADES!
I’ve also written fantasy (Shadowlight) and there’s a lot of planning and twists involved there, too. But you’re right, there are also major differences.
I feel like a lot of this can apply to any kind of writing, not just mysteries. #5 raises an interesting point regarding the outlining vs discovery writing debate. There are some kinds of stories where you have to do one or the other.
There’s nothing wrong with writing spontaneously. In humor writing (I’ve done that too, as in Designer Genes) it’s essential. But I think writers who don’t at least consider their major turning points and goals risk getting stuck in the middle.
Great post, Jackie! I confess I like my mystery with some romance, and funny is always good.
Thanks, Alina!
#12 resonated with me because it took a decade for me to find my protagonist in the ancient Hawaii mystery. I didn’t feel comfortable writing out of my gender or race in a way that was truthful & respectful. After years of research I succeeded, but that story WOULD NOT be born until then!
In my younger years, I had to work hard to find my voice, too. For some reason, it was very helpful when I discovered Regency romances, which have a certain type of diction that implies England of the early 19th century (although there’s a lot of leeway). Having to adopt a clearly identifiable Regency voice helped me even though my contemporary books don’t sound like that. Victoria, I’m glad you stuck with it until your voice emerged!
In general, among the many things that makes me put a book down is if the narrative voice is condescending and treats the reader like an idiot. I came across last year a novel featuring vampires set in 1970’s NYC. The blurbs on the flap got me to check the book out of the library, but the narrative voice was obnoxious and condescending that I gave up after 1 1/2 chapters.
Another of my pet peeves is if the book is long on technical/historical information and wickedly short on everything else. I picked up a book last year about murder in the Victorian age. The thing read like a Mojave desert-dry master’s thesis (the author was a U.K. professor with an MFA degree). I really enjoy non-fiction but this book annoyed me so much that i left a 2 star review on Amazon, which actually got a positive vote from someone.
Was it Elmore Leonard who advised writers to leave out the parts that readers tend to skip? I agree with that!
Wonderful post! I teach Crime Writing workshops, and your “Blonde dies at midnight” is what I call the “Disposable Woman” opening. Drives me nuts. I actually spoofed it in one of my own books.
Jacqueline, so much of what you say is terrific. My particular pet peeve with cozies is the lack of attention given to original plotting. One friend who writes for a big line tells me that people read cozies for the characters, not the plot. We spar on this one. In a whodunit, I demand a bang-up plot that has me guessing until the end, rather than a few suspects with iffy motivation. Actually, I think that just nailed my current angst about cozies: insufficient motivation for the suspects to be credible potential villains. In my own books, I work hard on plot. I want the reader to say “Ah!” at the end.
Thanks for this post!
Melodie, you hit on a subject dear to my heart. I like cozies because I find gore, excessive drinking by the protagonist, etc. to be depressing. But I insist on strong plotting that keeps me guessing and doesn’t cheat.
I also feel strongly that there should be a reason why the non-police main character has a meaningful role in the investigation. That was part of my reason for choosing a doctor. Also, I love medical settings.
Thanks. And don’t forget – a woman’s husband dies and she finds he has multiple identities.
Yes, that’s an overdone notion, although I suppose someone could put a fresh twist on it. Gee…maybe he dies and she discovers she has multiple identities, which she’s forgotten because he kept bashing her over the head and giving her amnesia. Uh…needs work.
I could never write a mystery but reading these suggestions is helpful to any writer. Thank you, Jacqueline.
Patricia, thank you! And I agree. Structure, plotting, characterization and avoiding cliches are important for all of us.
This was a great post. I’ve just finished a mystery and am checking it now, for these points. I agree with Anne, too, that many of these are good points to check when writing in any genre.
Thank you, Elizabeth! I do have more writing tips posted on my website, http://www.jacquelinediamond.com.
Wow. 101 books. Amazing!!! Thankfully, I’m lucky to have several detective friends who don’t hesitate to tell me when I drift too far into Fictionland. Excellent tips. Thanks for sharing your vast experience.
Each book is a new challenge. And friends, whether as beta readers or subject experts, are invaluable!
Many thanks to Jacqueline for a super article. Those tips are very helpful! Thanks to Anne for bringing us only the best advice and advisers!
My thanks to Anne, also, for giving me a chance to share some of what I’ve learned about writing.
Dumb police are one of my pet peeves! I’ve been considering writing a cozy (I read mystery extensively in my youth before I drifted into fantasy), so I’ve been reading up on the genre. What’s with these bumbling small-town police? Maybe professionals are too intimidating to write about?
While I understand that it’s sometimes necessary to take liberties for the sake of fiction (a real investigation could be quite slow and boring to the reader), I tend to think that the bumbling small-town police idea results from lazy writing. Often, if the author had done the research and thought carefully, he/she could have achieved the same plot points without making the police act like idiots.
In The Case of the Questionable Quadruplet, my obstetrician hero has access to some medical information that leads him into paths the police can’t necessarily follow (although they could subpoena obviously relevant information). Also, several witnesses don’t trust the police for their own reasons but are willing to talk to him and to his sister-in-law, a private investigator hired by the first victim’s daughter. Witnesses aren’t required to talk to the police, but may share their observations with someone they trust. Like, of course, a doctor!
Also, if you’re going to have characters do police stuff, make sure that you, the author, know real police stuff. I was reading a novel by a best-selling big name writer and, I kid you not, she had the police start finishing up at the murder scene 10 minutes after they arrived! She even specified that amount of time in the narrative. I stopped reading right there and the publisher lost the sale. Another, even more famous woman thriller novelist, had her characters being actively and aggressively stalked and attacked by rattlesnakes in a dark, wet basement. Being the reptile expert that I am, that nonsense was, again, too much hooey and that book ended right there for me.
Excellent points, Peter. It’s especially ironic in a novel because the author can easily skip over time, indicating that quite a while has passed without boring the reader. In movies and TV, they have to cut it short simply because they can’t spend the entire script on one scene.
As for rattlesnakes, even an ignoramus like me knows that unless they’ve been altered as in science fiction, rattlers don’t stalk people. (But I’d look it up if I were to write about them).
You hit upon just about every trope or cliche parts of mysteries that bother me. The incompetent or crooked police really gets old.
I used to be a newspaper reporter and spent quite a bit of time at police stations in a couple of small-ish but up-to-date cities in California. In one instance, I helped cover an ongoing serial murder case, so I saw how the detectives had to sort through confusing and conflicting clues, tips, etc. It’s very difficult work.
The killer did get caught, eventually, but I had left that paper by then.
#4 is the one that really drives me up the wall. How can I like a heroine who’s a ditz who discovers things and avoids things totally by accident?
I agree! It’s sloppy work by the author. If he/she delves a little deeper, it’s possible to find reasons and connections that can make sense, at least fictionally.
Thanks for underlining the fact that characters need inner lives and those quirks and tics and issues and shadows that make them human. Good job!
Gerald–Even fast-paced genre fiction needs real, fleshed-out characters with specific goals and quirks. They can’t be all “white hat” or “bad hat” or the story turns into a cartoon. I think Jackie did a great job of showing us that in this post!
I’m so glad this was helpful. Always happy to share what I’ve learned (often the hard way!).
I will not agree. Writing mystery is awesome, fun and very challenging.