by Anne R. Allen
I recently had a strong reminder of the importance of the first impression. I’m still recovering from my December bout of pneumonia, which put me in the hospital for several days.
My recovery from the hospital may take more time than my recovery from pneumonia.
Why? Because everybody at the hospital treated me like an unhoused person with dementia. It was disconcerting to say the least—and not conducive to healing. People kept asking me if I knew where we were and what year it was. They even had somebody watch me eat lunch to make sure I remembered how to swallow.
They asked me if I had a place to sleep indoors. When I told them I live in a lovely, cozy home two blocks from the bay, they asked if I rented a room. The question was so strange, I launched into the story of the one time I rented out my third bedroom, which has a separate entrance, but the tenant had an incontinent cat, so I’ll never do it again.
Their strange looks made me realize they thought I was the renter. Or I was making it all up.
It was a Camilla Randall moment—I could have been in one of my novels.
A First Impression Usually Comes from Physical Characteristics.
So why did all this happen? When I arrived at the hospital, I was dressed in casual clothes, maybe a bit wrinkled, which I wore with a designer scarf, which somehow got lost. (Vintage Oscar de la Renta. I hope whoever found it is enjoying it.) I had originally only intended to go to the local Urgent Care to get some antibiotics, but Morro Bay Urgent Care ordered me to the SLO ER.
I admit I was not looking my best—partly because I couldn’t breathe—but also because my hair looked awful. Positively witchy. I’ve been growing out my gray. A couple of months ago, I’d finally decided it was time. With all these wrinkles, I wasn’t fooling anybody with a youthful hair color. Plus I wanted my hair to be as healthy as possible, so I just stopped dying it. I had been avoiding visiting the hairdresser until I had enough gray showing that I would have a nice, all-gray hairdo. This was fine when I was around old friends and family, but very much not okay for making first impressions.
The first impression I gave the hospital staff was an old woman with scraggly hair.
Bad Hair Makes a Bad First Impression
As my sister pointed out this week as she approached me with a pair of scissors, my scraggly hair made me look, well, homeless—and a little demented. I had unhoused, indigent, mentally unbalanced hair, and that was all the doctors and nurses could see when they first met me.
This meant that no matter what I said or did after I made that first impression, everybody assumed I was talking nonsense—and I was probably a liar, and perhaps a criminal.
I was put in solitary confinement and everybody had to wear hazmat suits to come into my room. Not normal for a simple case of pneumonia. But I’d become Typhoid Mary. It turns out they had assigned me all sorts of dire diseases found in the unhoused community: dysentery, cholera, norovirus, and who knows what else. Nobody ever told me. I guess doctors can tell that old ladies with scraggly hair have wildly contagious intestinal diseases and no further evidence is needed.
I’m very grateful to my sister for my new haircut. No, she’s not a hairdresser—she’s a lawyer. But lawyers know how important a first impression can be. So with my more law-abiding haircut, maybe if I need to go to a hospital again, I won’t be treated like a walking act of biological warfare.
What Does This Have to do With a Fictional First Impression?
Luckily, I had brought my trusty Kindle with me to the hospital, so I had stuff to read while I was incarcerated in that solitary hospital room. I saw the connection between my predicament and fiction when I was reading a book where every character was described in excruciating detail when they were introduced. Not only did this slow down the story, but I couldn’t remember one character from the next. I knew so many things about each one that they all blurred together. Not one had a stand-out feature.
Later, as I tried to follow the story, I figured some things out. Laura was the wealthy “influencer” with her own stylist. Meredith wore way too much Chanel No. 5, and Aunt Susan wore old hippie regalia and talked too loud. If the author had given readers those markers in the first place, I would have had my first impression of each character stuck in my head. Then I could have followed how they contributed to the plot. If there was one. I’m afraid I gave up on the book before I discovered it.
The other problem was those first impressions of the characters weren’t particularly appropriate to the characters. Like me, Aunt Susie gave the wrong first impression, and in later chapters, she was the most rational one.
BTW, this is the trouble with Kindles full of books. If you don’t like what you’re reading, you have a whole lot of others to choose from at your fingertips. This gives writers even less time to get the reader to commit to a book than in the pre-Kindle days.
It Helps to Make a First Impression with Sensual Markers
Yes, I’m saying it’s helpful to the reader to introduce a character with the senses instead of thoughts or actions. Is this shallow? Maybe. But I’m talking about that very first impression. Like the doctors and nurses at my hospital, readers first notice what people look like, sound like, or smell like. And those markers will help them follow the story so they’ll eventually see the characters as whole people. (And find out what they want. Always important for a secondary character.)
But it’s so important to make sure those markers give us an appropriate glimpse of the character. If she is a fairly well-off, mid-list author, with a million-dollar beach house, don’t give her homeless hair. 🙂
Now, I’m talking about secondary characters here, not the protagonist.
You can keep the protagonist’s looks to yourself if you want to. If she’s telling the story, we know who she is, so you can make your own decisions. If you don’t describe the protagonist, that will let readers see the character in their own way. Or even as themselves. (Just don’t put the protagonist in front of a mirror and have her assess her own looks. That’s been done to death.) But it’s important to remember that Jane Austen told us nothing about Elizabeth Bennet’s looks except that she had “fine eyes.” And yet I’m sure that almost everybody who has read Pride and Prejudice has a mental image of Lizzie.
Make a Strong First Impression with Each New Character
This was a lesson for me as a writer: check the way you introduce each character and make sure there’s something distinct or memorable about them. (This is important only if the character is going to return, not if he’s simply there to deliver pizza.)
But if the pizza guy is going to return to the story as somebody’s downstairs neighbor, or the witness to a crime, give the guy something to remember him by. Maybe he always smells of garlic, uses the word “copacetic” all the time, or wears broken glasses held together with duct tape.
That will be enough to give the reader a strong impression of “the pizza guy,” even without giving him a name. (Too many names can confuse the reader.)
You Can Use a Negative First Impression to Cast Suspicion
This is true especially if you’re writing a mystery or thriller. If the reader’s first impression of a character is slightly unpleasant, like his overpowering cologne, or her grating voice, when something bad happens, those folks will be on the reader’s suspect list.
They’ll suspect these characters even before the author tells them who the protagonist suspects. Sometimes this gives the reader a chance to feel smarter than the characters and adds to the fun of figuring out “whodunnit.”
Of course you can also throw them off the scent by giving a negative first impression of a character who turns out to be a “good guy.” Like the pathetic old lady with the homeless hair who turns out to be a successful novelist and helpful blogger.
I guess we all need to remember the old saw: “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”
by Anne R. Allen (@annerallen and annerallen.bsky.social) January 4, 2026
What about you, scriveners? Have you ever made a very wrong first impression on somebody? How about your characters? Do they make a strong first impression?
BOOK OF THE WEEK
SHERWOOD, LTD: Camilla Randall Mystery #2
Camilla makes the wrong first impression with publisher Peter Sherwood because she’s dumpster diving at the time.
A contemporary take on one of the myths of the indigenous people of England: the Green Man, Robin Hood.
Suddenly-homeless American manners expert Camilla Randall becomes a 21st century Maid Marian—living rough near the real Sherwood Forest with a band of outlaw English erotica publishers—led by a charming, self-styled Robin Hood who unfortunately may intend to kill her.
When Camilla is invited to publish a book of her columns with UK publisher Peter Sherwood, she lands in a gritty criminal world—far from the Merrie Olde England she envisions. The staff are ex-cons and the erotica is kinky. Hungry and penniless, she camps in a Wendy House built from pallets of porn while battling an epic flood, a mendacious American Renfaire wench, and the mysterious killer who may be Peter himself.
Here’s a great write-up of Sherwood, Ltd from Debra Eve at the Later Bloomer
Available in ebook from:
All Amazons GooglePlay Kobo Nook Smashwords
Available in paper from:
“… The myths and legends of the gentleman robber of Sherwood Forest weave their way through the narrative and are echoed by the characters in the present day, giving the story a depth and charm that I found irresistible. Anne R. Allen is a new author to me, but I intend to read everything else she’s written because…when you find a good writer, that’s what you do. 🙂 Highly recommended…A. C. Flory
“I rocked and rolled through this who-dun-it with a cast of characters so finely developed that I could practically see them in front of me: and that was from the dialogue. Anne Allen is also masterful at keeping the plot twisting and turning; and making sure all those details make sense by the end. Highly entertaining!” Amazon reviewer
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featured image: Sasin Tipchai for Pixabay
Get well soon, Anne.
A thoughtful blog. I shall apply your thoughts about describing characters in my next bit of writing.
Rosemary–It’s simple to check the intros of each character when you’re doing a final edit, but I’ve neglected to do this in several books. My hospital stay was a revelation.
I’ll let this excerpt from a recent review speak for itself:
Alex Diaz-Granados has a real talent for making characters that are extremely realistic. They don’t feel like two dimensional characters on paper when you read them. They feel like real people that you can connect with.
Both Jim Garraty and Kelly Moore are characters that are easy to like and enjoy reading about. And they have a wonderful chemistry all throughout the book. For the moment at least, they are exactly what the other needs and yearns for.
Alex–That’s the kind of review we live for isn’t it? But this post is about how you introduce your secondary characters. it sounds as if Jim and Kelly are your protagonists.
Anne,
In my defense, I hadn’t had my coffee yet.
This is how I introduce my main character’s best friend in my novel, Reunion: Coda:
Mark walked with me that day, our last day of high school. He didn’t say much. He knew I was hurting. He knew I was losing Marty, and that I was feeling downright shitty about it. She was leaving for London with her family after graduation. She would be gone for the whole summer, maybe forever. I would be gone too, heading north to Harvard, to start a new life without her. Mark knew all that, but he didn’t say anything. He just walked with me, like a true friend.
Mark and I stood in front of his house, half a block away from mine. We had walked from school in silence – for the last time, my brain kept reminding me. We had already said everything that needed to be said about “the thing with Marty” and the letter. Mark would never admit it, but he was just as sad as I was that our carefree youth had come to an end. We were known in school as the Twins from Different Families because we had been best friends since sixth grade. Now, we would probably not see each other for a long time once I left Miami for the chilly embrace of Cambridge.
As we stood on the sidewalk, just a few yards away from his front porch, Mark finally broke the silence. “Are you going to be okay, Jim?” His blue eyes, usually sparkling with wit or wisdom, were now a dimmer shade of grey-blue – a sure sign that Mark was truly worried or sad.
I sighed. “Yeah,” I said unconvincingly. “I’ll be okay, pal.”
Mark pointed in the direction of my house. “You sure you don’t want me to walk you to your front door? It’s no problem.”
“What are you now, my dad?” I replied with a half-hearted chuckle. “I’ll be fine. It’s not like I live in Westchester or Sweetwater, bucko. I’ll probably go straight to my room and crash – I didn’t sleep much last night and I’ve been up since 6:30. I’m bushed.”
Mark grinned. “You sure it’s not because you’re afraid of running into that crazy cat lady next door?”
I rolled my eyes. “Very funny, Mark. But no, I think I can handle Mrs. Finklestein and her army of felines.”
We both burst out laughing – it was the first time we had genuinely laughed since that final bell rang at 2:30 PM, signaling the end of our school days. But as the moment faded into the past, our smiles slowly turned into quiet sobriety.
“Well, I’ll catch you tomorrow,” Mark said in a subdued voice. “But if you need to talk….”
“I got your digits,” I replied.
I turned and started walking towards my house when Mark called out, “Hey, Jim!”
I stopped and turned around. “What’s up?”
“May the Force be with you,” Mark said, making his best Han Solo impression.
I laughed and flipped him the bird over my shoulder before continuing down the sun-drenched sidewalk towards home.
Alex–This is a nice emotional little scene that gives us a lot of backstory in a short time. But depending on whether you’ll have many other characters in the novel, you might want to give Mark some more sensual markers besides the changeable blue/gray eyes. Maybe he smells like stale weed smoke, has a raspy smoker’s voice, or wears orange flipflops everywhere. Those sensory details will help us remember him the next time we see him.
How absolutely awful! No matter who you are, the staff should’ve treated you with dignity. Crap, they could see from your insurance card and other ID that you had an address. Shame on them.
Alex–Funny–this hospital is owned by “Dignity Health”. 🙂 Yeah. I have good insurance, too. Which may be why I had so many weird procedures done. (ca-ching) Weird they couldn’t put it together that if I had a good address and expensive insurance, maybe I wasn’t homeless, but that hair…
Okay, I’m having a chuckle, because I can just imagine this happening if I stop dyeing my hair! Great post, Anne – love how you show in ‘real world’ how important first impressions are in books. And I can relate to the ‘over description’ – so many books I read these days have me skipping passages of description. My own personal theory is that good mysteries are usually best at 50,000 words. But publishers want at least 70,000. So glad you are feeling better!
Melodie–It’s almost making me rethink the hair dye. Keep your color if you want to keep being treated like a rational human being. The description in this Kindle book drove me crazy. MCome to think of it, maybe the author was trying to get a word count in. I’m with you 100%. 50,000 words is good enough for some of the best classic mysteries.
Hey Anne — First impressions, are a big deal, though I doubt you looked as unappealing as you suggest.
CS–I didn’t think I looked that bad, but something triggered the contempt they showed me.
I’m so sorry for your terrible experience in the hospital. They shouldn’t expect you to look great when you’re sick and can’t breathe. I hope you’re feeling better and have a good 2026.
Natalie–Thanks. Things should be getting better from here. I’m still coughing, but I feel a lot more energetic.
Wishing you good health, Anne. Your hospital experience is a real eye opener! I like the way you worked it into a helpful lesson for all of us—it sure felt like it could be a good wake up call for the medical team who treated you as well!
Lori–Unfortunately, I live in an area that’s considered “rural” even though it’s some of the most expensive real estate in the world, so doctors aren’t paid enough to live here. This means we do not attract the best, much of the time. 🙁 But I wanted to remind people how quick judgements affect fictional characters too.
Great tip about using sensual markers for character descriptions.
Get well soon, Anne.
Oh, Anne. You should never have had to go through the profiling, but it’s good you filed the experience as a teachable moment for your writing. Hey, if you always carry one of your books with you (is your purse big enough?) you could show it to the staff. Maybe they’d treat you better if they worried about appearing in your next book.
I’m with you on the long descriptions. More than one book has turned me off and sent me toward another because I couldn’t get into the story.
You mentioned your Kindle: I’ve downloaded the Kobo app to my PC, phone, and iPad mini; and asked for a Kobo reader for my birthday. If books are available in the Kobo store, that’s were I’ll buy them. I’m tired of the AZ warning that I’m “borrowing” the books I purchase.
Get well soon, Anne. And stay away from the germ-filled @^^%&7w09^$# hospital if you can.
Kathy–Profiling is such a nasty thing. Most of us don’t know what it’s like to be profiled. At least it only put me in solitary confinement, and not in a torture camp in El Salvador. I hope you get that Kobo reader. Most of my books are available on Kobo. I hate giving so much money to Mr. Bezos.
Get well soon! I spent most of New Year’s Eve at first urgent care and then the ER with my wife who was fighting flu and fever for the 10th day. She was having a serious bad hair day and kept pulling her hood up, but then taking it down because she got too hot. The staff kept telling her to relax, everyone that sick was entitled to a bad hair day.
Anne–Thanks for allowing a sick person a bad hair day! I hope your wife feels better now. 10 days is a long time with the flu. (And it can turn into pneumonia) 🙁