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September 27, 2025 By Anne R. Allen Leave a Comment

12 Ways Not To Start a Novel

12 Ways Not To Start a Novel

 

by Anne R. Allen

I love to start a novel. This is the fun part of writing for me — as it is for most writers I know. My muse has uploaded a shiny new story into my head and I’m all revved and ready to go, so I get those words down as fast as I can. (Then I usually bog down halfway through, but that’s another post…)

But all that first draft scribbling usually doesn’t have much to do with the final product. When we first start a novel, we’re not thinking about our readers; we’re telling the story to ourselves. All kinds of information will come up, but be aware you’ll want to cut most of it or move it to another part of the book when you edit.

And when it comes to that editing — the first chapter presents your biggest challenge. I’ve often spent more time on a first chapter than the entire remainder of the book.

How Should We Start a Novel?

On the opening page, we have only a few lines to grab the reader and keep her from putting the book back on the shelf. We have to present an exciting hook and fascinating characters that will suck readers in immediately — but not overwhelm them with too much information.

We also want to promise something unique — not the same/old same/old they’ve got on the shelf at home.

But when we start writing fiction or memoir, some of the ideas that come most readily have unfortunately come readily to a whole lot of writers before us, so they’ve become clichés.

On top of that, the contemporary writer has an added problem. Because we’ve almost all grown up with television, we have the screenplay or teleplay format hardwired to our brains. But novelists have no cameras or music to convey emotions; no close-ups of a character’s face to show internal conflict.

The truth is, a lot of openings that would be brilliant in a movie are snoozerific on the page.

Here Are 12 Openings to Avoid

1) An Establishing Shot

The famous opening line, “It was a dark and stormy night” may keep contemporary audiences aware of Lord Bulwer-Lytton’s otherwise forgettable 1830 novel, Paul Clifford, but not in a good way.

Opening with description or meteorological events isn’t only a problem with people who’ve read too much Victorian literature.

Our television-saturated brains tend to think in terms of the “establishing shot” of a screenplay. But a novel needs more than pictures to connect with the reader. It needs human emotion.

2) Alarm Clocks

Showing your character waking up or getting ready for work/school hits the snooze button for readers. In a movie or TV show, you can show one character getting ready for work and it’s interesting.

In the TV series, Dexter, the serial killer/protagonist’s morning ablutions open every episode. But in a book, where you couldn’t have the creepy-comic music and double-entendre blood orange shots, the same scene would bore us silly.

3) Just a Dream

Some people call this the “Dallas” opening, because of the TV soap that got written into such a corner the writers had to pretend a whole season was “just a dream.”

Writers sometimes try to hook readers by opening with a scene of surreal horror — but if it all turns out to be a dream or a videogame on page three, the reader feels tricked.

4) Trains, Planes and Automobiles 

If your character is en route and musing about where he’s been and where he’s going, you’re not into your story yet. It’s a great exercise for you to learn about your protagonist, but when you’re editing, jump ahead to where the story really starts.

5) Funerals and Death

Slush readers say a huge number of manuscripts — especially memoirs — start with the protagonist in a state of bereavement. But most readers aren’t eager to embark on a literary journey with a miserable MC.

Also — even though it’s a cliché in murder mystery TV shows — opening with a POV character who gets whacked on page three does not work in a novel. Yes, you need a murder to solve, but don’t present the victim as a protagonist (unless he’s a vampire.) Readers feel sucker-punched when they’re asked to identify with a character only to have him killed off when they turn the page.

6) “If I’d Known then What I Know Now…”

Starting with the conditional perfect may seem clever to you, but unfortunately it does to a lot of other writers, too. This is cliché territory — don’t go there.

7)  Personal Introductions

Starting with “my name is…” has been way overdone, especially in YA. Again, not a bad idea, but too many people thought of it first.

8) Minor Characters

The story-telling old man, the child — or any detached observer telling the tale — will only distance the reader. Whoever/whatever we meet first becomes foremost in our minds, and readers will want to go back to that character. Make the first person you meet an important member of the cast, not a spear-carrier. (Or a murder victim — see #5)

9) Reader-Feeder Dialogue

This is also known as “As you Know, Bob.” dialogue

“I must retrieve the elusive magical jewelry item,” says Bob. “Without it, I cannot access my rightful powers — and my evil Uncle Murray will usurp my domain.”

But as you know, Bob,” says Sidekick. “The magical jewelry item is in the hands of the four skanky queens of the Bingo Borogroves and guarded by the Dire Dragoons of Doom. We will be risking our very lives.”

Sidekick is not saying this for Bob’s benefit. He’s saying it for ours. Conversational info-dumps are never a good idea.

10) Group Activities

Don’t overwhelm your reader with too many characters right off the bat. It’s like meeting a bunch of people at a cocktail party: you don’t remember anybody’s name if you hear too many at once.

11) Internal Monologue

Musing is boring. Especially reader-feeder musing. “Back when I was younger, I would have slain the dragoons with my magic sword, but when my parents were killed in that chariot crash on the way to get Borogrovian take-out, and my Uncle Murray had me locked up in the Dark Tower of Doom, the skanky queens stole my magic sword and melted it down to make a necklace and a pair of matching earrings…”

The reader doesn’t need to know this all on the first page. As a writer, getting this stuff on paper can be really important, but in the final draft, you need to open with emotion and conflict, and bring in backstory later.

I have to admit I did this with the start of my new Camilla mystery. Yes, even after writing 15 books. But I broke my own rule and went back and fixed it after I’d written 10 chapters or so.

12) Too Much Action

Writing gurus keep telling us to start a novel with action, action, action, but this isn’t actually such good advice. There’s such a thing as too much action.

Action isn’t the same as conflict. We need to be emotionally engaged with a character before we care how many dragoons of doom he slays. The fact that somebody stole his magic sword on the way to the battle may create more emotional conflict than the actual slaying.

***

by Anne R. Allen (@annerallen and annerallen.bsky.social)

What about you, scriveners? How do you like to start a novel? What openings press your snooze button? What scenes do you see overused in your genre? Is there any opening that automatically makes you put the book back on the shelf?

***

Personal Appearance!

If you’re going to be on the Central Coast of California in October, put this on your calendar! TV actress Mara Purl, two professional voice actors, and two excellent mystery authors will join me in some dramatic readings from our books. And there will be yummy food!

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featured image: Woman Writing by Federico Zandomeneghi, 1874

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Filed Under: Writing Craft Tagged With: Anne R. Allen, Coalesce Bookstore, Novel openers, The Hour of the Moth

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About Anne R. Allen

Anne writes funny mysteries and how-to-books for writers. She also writes poetry and short stories on occasion. Oh, yes, and she blogs. She's a contributor to Writer's Digest and the Novel and Short Story Writer's Market.

Her bestselling Camilla Randall Mystery RomCom Series features perennially down-on-her-luck former socialite Camilla Randall—who is a magnet for murder, mayhem and Mr. Wrong, but always solves the mystery in her quirky, but oh-so-polite way.

Anne lives on the Central Coast of California, near San Luis Obispo, the town Oprah called "The Happiest City in America."

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Anne R. AllenAnne R. Allen writes funny mysteries and how-to-books for writers. She also writes poetry and short stories on occasion. She’s a contributor to Writer’s Digest and the Novel and Short Story Writer’s Market.

Her bestselling Camilla Randall Mystery Series features perennially down-on-her-luck former socialite Camilla Randall—who is a magnet for murder, mayhem and Mr. Wrong, but always solves the mystery in her quirky, but oh-so-polite way.

Ruth Harris NYT best selling authorRuth is a million-copy New York Times bestselling author, Romantic Times award winner, former Big 5 editor, publisher, and news junkie.

Her emotional, entertaining women’s fiction and critically praised novels have sold millions of copies in hard cover, paperback and ebook editions, been translated into 19 languages, sold in 30 countries, and were prominent selections of leading book clubs including the Literary Guild and the Book Of The Month Club.

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