by Ruth Harris
The Tyranny Of The Time Stamp.
We all live under the lash of the digital clock and the tyranny of the time stamp. It’s not just us, it’s everyone everywhere —
Fast food and even faster fashion.
Pro chess players have 2 minutes to make their moves. On each move 12 seconds is added to the time they have remaining on the clock.
A pro tennis player has 25 seconds to serve.
Major league pitchers have 15 seconds to throw a pitch with the bases empty and 20 seconds with a runner on base.
Hitters need to be in the batter’s box with eight seconds on the pitch clock.
And you?
Your Uber And Your Oven Timer
It will take you 5 minutes to read this article about Taylor Swift and 6 minutes to read that article about Ron DeSantis. (How do I know? The NYT now includes an estimated reading time with every article.)
But it doesn’t stop there.
Your oven timer tells you your roast chicken will be done in 8 minutes.
Laundry? Your laundry will be finished in 10 minutes.
And what about your Uber? You don’t have to guess. Your Uber will arrive in 17 minutes.
I don’t know how long it will take you to read this post cuz Anne and I actually love our readers.
Still, you have access to this otherwise vast helpful — but also annoying —trove of info because of the ubiquity of the digital timer.
When Your Elevator Pitch is Too Long
Time counts — yours and theirs — and especially right now.
There are moments — at a hectic, noisy party, running into a former colleague at a football game, at a busy class reunion — when even the elevator pitch is too long.
Still, you’re excited about your book and want to spread the word.
Here is where the Quick Pitch comes to the rescue.
It’s like the Elevator Pitch only shorter. Much shorter.
The Do’s and Don’ts of the Quick Pitch
Sometimes the headline of your blurb (the one you worked so hard on, right?) will be perfect.
If not, you will have to create the ever-handy, indispensable Quick Pitch.
Here’s how —
DO go for the hook and explain the basic concept first, because, according to molecular biologist John Medina of the University of Washington School of Medicine, the human brain requires meaning before details.
When listeners doesn’t understand the basic concept right at the beginning, they have a hard time processing the rest of the information.
Snakes on a plane is a great example.
Here are a few more —
- Nurse Ratchett meets Rosemary’s Baby.
- Hannibal Lecter at Beverly Hills High.
- Legally Blonde as told by John Grisham.
- Gone With The Wind as written by Mickey Spillane.
DON’T be afraid to be outrageous.
- An obnoxious TV chef hides from a serial killer at a snooty cotillion for high society debutantes.
- How about an opposites-attract romance between a plumber and a poet with a stopped-up sink?
- Or a crass, loud-mouthed politician gets rip roaring drunk and comes to in a Buddhist monastery dedicated to silence, serenity and meditation?
A Quick Pitch does NOT Describe the Theme.
The agent/editor/movie producer will figure it out — once you entice him/her to read your book.
The Quick Pitch does NOT describe the plot. I know you worked hard on it. I know that twist is great. BUT plot descriptions tend to get long-winded and boring.
Ask me about the time I was invited to speak to the editors of Cosmopolitan Magazine who were excerpting one of my books. I got lost in a long, tedious plot description. Boy, did I ever!
Lesson Learned. 🙁
DO smile. Even — or maybe especially? — if you write apocalyptic fiction. Or ghoulish murders.
When they relax and smile back, then and only then do you announce that you are about to scare the cr*p out of them.
DO stand up straight. Just like your Mom said.
DO make eye contact.
DON’T mumble.
DO read the room. Even if it’s an audience of one.
Are they with you? Eyes bright? Leaning forward? Anxious to hear the next word?
Or have you lost them? They’re scrolling through their phone? Stifling a yawn? Moving their feet? Ready for a cup of coffee? Or something stronger?
Now’s the time to speed it up, tell a joke (if you’re good at it) or steal a great line from your favorite comedian. (And, of course, give credit where credit is due.)
Your Quick Pitch = Your Brand
Use your Quick Pitch — short, simple, memorable, repeatable — everywhere.
- As a headline for your blurb
- As a tweet or newsletter subject line
- To introduce yourself to your audience when you start a speech
- On the home page of your website
- On your business card
- Or your author page
- In your author bio
- As a keyword
Bottom Line
Tl:DR The Quick Pitch is like the elevator pitch. Only shorter.
That’s all for now.
Gotta go.
Thanks for reading.
My Uber is here.
—
BOOK OF THE WEEK
Women’s fiction meets cozy mystery in the Big Apple.
WHEN BILLIONAIRES BREAK BAD.
When the oh-so-dead body of a celebrity Mad Man washes up on East Hampton’s Billionaires’ Beach, PR whiz Blake Weston and her handsome, sexy, ex-cop husband must spend the summer in the fancy-pants resort to find out what — or who — killed Jay Caruso.
Was it his wife?
Which one?
“Ruth Harris’s light, breezy style perfectly captures the characters who frequent this up-scale summer resort. She’s also brilliant at poking fun at their high-end toys like a huge hi-tech stove that neither Blake nor Ralph can figure how to work without the help of the housekeeper; and a “silent” dishwasher that blows up.”...Joanna Elm
***
Featured image via Pixabay
I really enjoyed this post, Ruth. You’re so right about time. Everything these days is “look at the clock” and “do things faster”. My kids’ attention span (in their 20’s) is abominably short. If I don’t tell them what I want to say in as short a time as possible, then they lose interesest, eyes wander away from me, they’re obviously anxious to GO. I find it so frustrating and I take it personally. Am I that boring or unimportant that I am not owed your time? The world is spinning faster each year, it seems. And I don’t like it!
Ruth–This post really hit home with me. It seems we’re being pushed to run faster and faster to stay in the same place–like the White Queen in Alice Through the Looking Glass. I do know a quick pitch is important though, and I’ll work on them for all my books. Thanks for the thought-provoking post!
Excellent post Ruth. Time, time, time, there never seems to be enough, and the world is in a hurry. I appreciate your logline ideas. Me, I try hard not to allow the clock to dominate my life – even if it fights me some of the time. 🙂
Patricia—Thanks — happy to learn I’m not the only one! Sorry to hear about your kids. So frustrating & no wonder you take it personally. It’s just plain rude. 🙁
Anne— thanks! Having a quick pitch can come in very handy on lots of occasions & it’s a super way to tell right away if someone’s interested. Or not. 😉
DG—Thanks for the kind words. Remember the old Stones song: “Time, time is on my side.” Well that time is long gone!
Having a logline prepared can come in handy on lots of occasions. It won’t take you long to do and is really useful. Plus I am constantly editing/changing mine so even if you (I) don’t get it right at first, it can be an on-going WiP.
Why must we always rush everywhere? It’s not good for us, you know. Taking time out to do nothing, or something soothing, like painting, is good. Everyone should slow for a while on occasion.
I will try to write a short longline for my books. Just for those people always in a rush.
I’m with you. If we all slowed down a tad it would be a better world. And we’d likely write better books.
Gaaack, Ruth!! I thought elevator pitches were hard. Now you tell me *that’s* too long??
A friend jokes about standing in front of his microwave, tapping his foot, saying, “Hurry up! I don’t have all minute!”
We need to reincarnate Groucho Marx and Henny Youngman.
VM—Excellent point! I’ve spent the weekend….doing nothing. Feels good!
Good luck with your short logline. I think you’ll find it comes in handy. At least I have…
Debbie— Sorry about that! But I think you’ll find that the quickie description can come in very handy.
Definitely don’t forget Joan Rivers who, of course!, had a comment about time. “Why women don’t blink during foreplay…not enough time.”
CS—You’re right! I keep telling myself to slow down. Sometimes I actually listen. 😉
Thank you, oh great sizzle master! More phenomenal advice on a skill I haven’t mastered (as you know LOL). My first reaction was much like Debbie’s — how on earth do I tighten the elevator pitch even more? *face palm* Your reasoning, however, is dead-on. We live in an impatient world. Guess I have some re-evaluating to do. *sigh*
LOLOLOL!!!
These are excellent points. Thank you for another informative post! Bobbi
Ruth, the first song reference that came to my mind was “Time, time, time, see what’s become of me…” A Hazy Shade of Winter by Simon & Garfunkel.
Nice article – Yeah, I’ve done this. hahaha Sadly when I shared your post to LinkedIn it gave a reading time. I say what it was to maintain the calm.
Sue—I plead guilty. It seems there’s no end to what writers are expected to do. Makes me think maybe I should write a post about that. No wonder we get tired and crabby (looks in mirror). 😉
Bobbi—Thanks for taking the time to comment and thanks, too, for your kind words. Anne and I love and appreciate our readers!
Fred—Good one! Thanks!
Vincent—Ha ha! Serves me right! Thanks (?) for bringing it to my attention. LOL
Would you say it’s a bit like a twitter pitch from the old PitMad? If not, what might be the difference? I’m having trouble thinking of it differently than a twitter pitch. Help! (thanks)