How Many Ways Can You Think of to Replace the Word “Love”

By Kathy Steinemann

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day!

Do you want to spice up the card you bought for your sweetheart? Maybe you’re writing a romance, and you need a few alternatives for love.

People might say they love doughnuts, kittens, or coffee, but maybe they savor doughnuts, fawn over kittens, and crave coffee. Or perhaps they daydream about doughnuts, prefer kittens to puppies, and can’t live without coffee.

Most people love (most of?) their family. Obsessive love or absence of it can provide a framework for subplots or entire novels.

“Show Don’t Tell”

Instead of telling about a character’s love, show it whenever possible.

The following beats could indicate several levels of attraction, including adoration, arousal, desire, flirtatiousness, infatuation, and love.

Emotion Beats Most Obvious to POV (Point of View) Character

• Breath holding
• Butterflies in one’s stomach [cliché] or a fluttering stomach
• Heart fluttering in one’s chest
• Lack of appetite
• Legs that buckle
• Rubbery knees
• Sucking in one’s flabby gut or pot belly to look more appealing to a love interest
• Tightening one’s buttocks and abdominal muscles

Emotion Beats Obvious to All Characters

• “Accidentally” touching someone’s arm, hand, or knee
• Checking one’s breath behind a raised hand
• Constant stroking of one’s beard and mustache, possibly even the earlobes
• Crossing legs while one is seated, and angling toes toward the object of one’s attraction
• Crossing one’s legs and revealing skin on knees and thighs (female)
• Deep or fast breathing
• Embracing someone, with full chest-to-chest contact
• Flushed, hot skin
• Frequent touching of one’s lips or face
• Hugging someone
• Keeping one’s shoulders in a raised position
• Lifting one’s chin and exposing the Adam’s apple (instinctive exhibition of trust)
• Moving closer to the object of one’s affection
• Parting one’s lips
• Placing an arm around someone’s shoulder
• Playing with a lock of one’s hair
• Pointing one’s feet toward the object of one’s affection
• Raising one’s eyebrows, and making direct eye contact with the object of one’s affection
• Relaxed face
• Repeatedly crossing and recrossing one’s legs
• Resting chin on the back of hands and offering one’s “face on a platter”
• Running tongue over one’s lips
• Showing skin by wearing short skirts and/or low necklines
• Sitting close to the object of one’s desire so that legs touch
• Slightly separating one’s legs (usually a male)
• Speaking in a soft voice or whisper
• Stroking one’s arms
• Stroking one’s stomach (male)
• Touching one’s neck
• Tucking hair behind an ear
• Voice that hitches with emotion
• Wiggling one’s butt in someone’s direction

Narrative Provides Another Way for Characters to Show Love

Review the following examples. Can you see the love in each?

Alex always greeted his daughter with a cheerful “good morning, sweetie” before he tousled her hair and made her breakfast. Then he walked her to school — and spent the rest of the day missing her while he worked on his next novel.

Chocolates: delicious, smooth, sweet chocolates. Jason salivated as he stared at them. Could he resist the overpowering urge to stuff them all in his mouth at once?

Aisha tried not to look at her neighbor as they rode the elevator to the first floor. Every day, she eavesdropped on his movements in the apartment next door, imagining how it would feel to dance with him in time with the music he played whenever he was home. Six weeks, and she hadn’t worked up the courage to talk to him.

Dialogue Offers an Additional Way for Characters to Show Love

Overt declarations or slips of the tongue can show a character’s feelings.

“I tell you, Brandy, whenever I see her, I forget every word I ever knew and act like a dumb kid trying to get the guts to ask a girl for a date.”

“Coffee: I can’t live without it: the aroma, the flavor, the way it glides down my throat. You have no idea. Here, try it. You’ll never go back to green tea.”

“Two days. She’s been gone for two whole days. I don’t know if I’ll last a month without her. Maybe I should call in sick and hop the next flight to New York.”

“Ed? Yeah, he’s fantas— … He’s OK, I guess, but I would never get involved with anyone who drinks Prosecco, eats lunch at Harry’s Hamburger stand, and spends every Saturday night at the bowling alley.”

Adjectives

A person who is in love or falling in love might be described as:

Intense Emotion

ardent, attentive, beguiled, besotted, bewitched, captivated, crazy about, dedicated, devoted, doting, emotional, enamored, enraptured, fervid, fiery, hooked, hot-blooded, hypnotized, infatuated, intoxicated, mushy, nuts about, obsessed, passionate, pining, possessed, smitten, twitterpated, unable to live without, under someone’s spell

Less Intense Emotion

affable, affectionate, amorous, approachable, attached, benevolent, caring, charitable, charmed, compassionate, considerate, empathetic, fond, friendly, gentle, gracious, humane, kind, kindhearted, kindly, nice, pleasant, sociable, soft on, sweet on, tender, tenderhearted, thoughtful, warm, warmhearted

Similes and Metaphors

Warning: Comparisons, direct or indirect, often lead to purple prose. However, they might also result in memorable phrases that endure long enough to become clichés or idioms. Massage the following ideas and create your own inventive phrasing.

• A bud blossoming in one’s chest
• An uncontrollable bonfire
• Afresh way to view the world, knowing that two are now one
• A veil separating one from the harshness of the world
• An unrelenting fist crushing one’s unrequited overtures
• Better than fame or riches
• Comforting as ice cream smothered in chocolate sauce
• Enduring as one’s fidelity
• Fragile as a butterfly
• Necessary as oxygen or water
• Overwhelming as a tsunami
• Painful as a thorn but impossible to live without

Colors

Reds signify passion. Try some of these colors to augment a romantic scene.

A to G

apple red, berry red, blaze red, blood red, blush red, burgundy red, candy red, candy-apple red, candy-cane red, cherry red, cinnamon-candy red, coral red, crab-apple red, cranberry red, crimson, fire red, flame red, garnet red, ginger red

H to W

heart red, licorice red, lipstick red, maple-leaf red, merlot red, mulberry red, neon red, pepper red, pomegranate red, raspberry red, rose, rouge, ruby, scarlet, strawberry red, Valentine red, wanton red, watermelon red, wine red

Scents

Many scents are touted as natural aphrodisiacs. Aromatherapy advocates swear by the following for romantic stimulation.

basil, bergamot, chocolate, cinnamon, citrus, clary sage, doughnuts, ginger, jasmine, lavender, licorice, lily of the valley, musk, nutmeg, patchouli, peppermint, pheromone-based [aftershave, lip balm, cologne, perfume], pink grapefruit, popcorn, pumpkin, rose oil, sandalwood, strawberries, vanilla, wild yam, ylang-ylang

Shapes and Symbols

Love doesn’t have a shape, but the following suggest love and romance.

ankh, apple, Celtic love knot, Claddagh symbol, Cupid, diamond, dove, heart, inverted triangle, maple leaf, rose, scallop shell, swan, tulip, Valentine

Verbs and Phrasal Verbs Can Reveal One’s Emotional State

Intense Emotion

acclaim, adore, adulate, aggrandize, applaud, be besotted with, be devoted to, be infatuated with, be passionate about, care very much for, celebrate, crave, daydream about, deify, dote on, eulogize, exalt, extol, fawn over, hero-worship, idolize, laud, lionize, panegyrize, relish, revere, reverence, savor, think the world of, venerate, worship

Less Intense Emotion

admire, appreciate, be smitten with, care for, carry a torch for, cherish, commend, enjoy, esteem, fancy, feel deep affection for, have a crush on, hold very dear, honor, like, praise, prefer, prize, respect, treasure, value

Nouns

Like verbs, appropriate nouns show characters’ feelings.

However, pay attention to point of view. POV characters will recognize their own passion or affection, but secondary characters will need to analyze dialogue and body language.

Intense Emotion

ardency, crush, devotedness, devotion, enchantment, fervor, fidelity, flame, infatuation, lust, passion, rapture, relish, worship, yearning

Less Intense Emotion

affection, amity, appreciation, delight, enjoyment, fondness, friendship, hankering, inclination, like, partiality, regard, respect

Props

Well-chosen props strengthen a story, often suggesting new twists or subplots.

Some of the foods among the words that follow are considered aphrodisiacs. Can you guess which ones?

A to L

asparagus, broken air conditioner, broken arm or leg, burglary, burnt supper, car accident, chili peppers, chocolates, dating app, Disney cruise, figs, forgotten anniversary, funeral, hole in underwear, lost engagement ring, lost luggage, Lyft driver

M to W

marriage proposal while [arguing, attending a wedding, bowling, delivering a baby, grocery shopping, hot-air ballooning, scuba diving, skydiving], oysters, pet hiding under bedspread, pizza delivery, silk sheets, strawberries, Uber driver, watermelon

Clichés and Idioms

You might be reading this post because you realize the word love appears too often in your narrative. One of the reasons could be overreliance on clichés and idioms like these. Try to replace them.

Head over heels in love: consumed with desire

In love with the sound of one’s own voice: arrogant, proud, conceited

In love: besotted, captivated, enamored, infatuated, smitten

Labor of love: courtesy, favor, good deed, kindness, thoughtfulness

Love affair: dalliance, entanglement, fling, flirtation

Love handles: bulging waistline, flab, fat

Puppy love: crush, infatuation

Love of one’s life: favorite, soulmate, sweetheart

To love to death: adore, adulate, dote on, worship

Tough love: discipline, firmness, strictness, stringency

Unable to get for love or money: rare, scarce, uncommon

With a face that only a mother could love: gruesome, hideous, repulsive, ugly

How Is Your WIP Progressing?

Does it contain any romantic scenes? Why or why not? And can you think of other ways to express love in a scene? 

by Kathy Steinemann February 14, 2022

 

About Kathy Steinemann

Kathy Steinemann, Grandma Birdie to her grandkids, loves words — especially when the words are frightening or futuristic or funny.

As a child, she scribbled prose and poetry, and won public-speaking and writing awards. As an adult, she worked as a small-town paper editor, and taught a couple of college courses. She has won or placed in multiple short fiction contests.

If you were to follow her around for a day, you might see her wince when a character on TV says “lay” instead of “lie” or when a social media post confuses “your” with “you’re.” And please don’t get her started on gratuitous apostrophes in pluralized words.

Her popular books in The Writer’s Lexicon series are touted by writers as “phenomenal,” a “secret weapon,” and “better than a thesaurus.”

You’ll find her at KathySteinemann.com, Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. And check out Kathy’s “Redundancy Quiz” from last June’s blog.

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Featured image by, D. Sharon Pruitt Owner of Pink Sherbet Photography Official Website, www.pinksherbet.com