Part of living in the now, right now, is being on all the time. Constant notifications about news, meetings, phone calls, texts, emails, gaming (if you’re into that), and of course, social media. I’m exhausted just thinking about it. Watching my 21-year-old daughter checking her Apple Watch gives me hives, yet she loves it.
Maybe it’s a generational thing. For her, it’s a timesaving measure. For me, it sends my anxiety through the roof. Maybe you feel the same.
As a writer, marketer, business owner, mom, and human with anxiety and PTSD, I’ve had to navigate ways to manage online marketing work, writing, and self-care, and that’s what I’m going to share with you all today.
Time Management Tools
I’ve been using some form of social media management tool for over ten years. In fact, I use several, because I’ve yet to find one that handles everything I personally want, however, Hootsuite is my favorite. I also use Buffer and Promo Republic.
By using a scheduler, which also has a dashboard that allows me to interact live, I save an enormous amount of time. It’s the best of both worlds: schedule and interact on all social media channels. Most tools allow for scheduling only, which is enough for most folks (because I’m handling 60+ accounts for myself and my clients, being able to interact is an important component for me).
I also use Evernote to jot down ideas, and Slack to share files and communicate with my assistants, my workshop participants, and other businesspeople I frequently collaborate with. I choose to use the apps on my Mac, however, they’re also available on my phone and iPad should I need them while away from my desk (and they wirelessly sync). All have free options.
If you’re still logging in and out of various social media apps manually in order to post or comment, stop that right now. You are dragging boulders up mountains. When writers tell me they don’t have time to market their books, I ask them this:
“How much time do you spend on Facebook/Twitter/IG whining about how you have no time to market your books?”
Marketing is not only social media, of course. It’s simply one plank of your author platform. Writing articles, blog posts, guest posts, sharing visuals, newsletters, etc., are also important. If you want more info on that, feel free to read my other articles on Medium or visit my business blog.
You can also try various time management tools, e.g., The Pomodoro Technique, Task Chunking, a planner (what I use), rewards, bullet journaling, etc. I’m curious what you use and how it works for you — please share in the comments below!
Can you live without knowing what’s trending on Twitter right this very second? Sure you can. Let that FOMO go.
Delegation
Sometimes you may feel overwhelmed. Is it possible to do it all, all the time? Of course not. We’re not superheroes, no matter how hard we try.
For this section, I’m talking about allowing yourself to have help, whether that means hiring your 21-year-old daughter to help grow your IG in exchange for buying her new leggings and that cute top at Old Navy (ahem), hiring a consultant to set you on the right strategic path (ahem, again), or hiring a virtual assistant (typically, anywhere from $30 to $50/hour depending on their services and experience) who can schedule your blog posts, social media, answer your mail, create your graphics, etc. — all the stuff you don’t have time for, so you can focus on writing and, ya know, breathing.
Writing is only one part of this publishing life, y’all. It took a successful businesswoman friend to tell me, a few years after starting my BadRedhead Media biz,
“You need to give yourself permission to succeed. You are standing in your own way. Hire a damn assistant.”
Best thing I ever did. Not only for my business and writing careers but also for my mental health. I’m the first to admit, I am not a superwoman. When I have too much going on, I start to breathe shallowly and I end up with chronic migraines. I even have breathe tattooed on my right index finger as a reminder! Asking for, and receiving help, is okay. It’s not weak. It’s actually a strength.
How much is your mental health and state of mind worth to you?
Notifications
I turn everything off when I’m writing. My writing time is absolutely sacred. I shut my door, turn off my phone, and write, uninterrupted. (Of course, just as I wrote this sentence, my 15-year-old son came in and asked to go get a tea. Being stuck in the house is driving us all a little mad at this point. LOL.)
Hard to turn off Kid Notifications. I get it. I’m a single, working mom. However, you are in charge of whether or not your phone, computer, or Apple Watch (or whatever) beeps or buzzes you constantly. Those interruptions mess up your flow. What’s flow? Read more here.
Flow is a wonderful form of dissociation in positive psychology. Writing takes me into this state, as does music. Once you learn what it is, you’ll want to clear your brain of clutter so you can enter that state. For anyone with anxiety, flow is quite helpful. I highly encourage you to learn more about it.
Selective Engagement
It took me a long time, years in fact, to understand that just because someone tweets me (or leaves me a Facebook or IG message), I’m under absolutely zero obligation to respond, particularly to trolls. Neither are you. Let me repeat that so it sinks in.
If a troll tweets or posts to you, you are under no obligation to respond.
Here’s why: let’s say you do respond. And then they respond. And you attempt to prove your point, and they attempt to prove theirs. Straw-man fallacies abound, ad hominem attacks begin, and before you know it, you’ve spent hours (sometimes days, even) on a flame war when you could have been writing/marketing/exercising/sleeping/reading/with your partner, kids, pets, literally doing anything else but wasting your time on something that’s literally unwinnable.
We cannot recapture that time. Think about how many hours we’ve lost on these arguments. Additionally, for someone with anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues, these social media “conversations” can also be extremely triggering.
Tip: NO need to argue with people. Simply and quietly unfollow, mute, or block.
Another tip: Almost every social media channel now offers filters, so, for example, if you don’t want to see a certain political party in your timeline, add that word to your filters. If you don’t want to see a particular person’s name, same process. You can also mute notifications from conversations, which is a great option if you’ve been tagged.
Not all social media engagement is negative, of course. I have a Street Team on Facebook which is quite lovely, as well as a private group dedicated solely to supporting and helping childhood sexual abuse survivors. Without social media, this kind of interaction wouldn’t be possible, and for that, I’m incredibly grateful.
I always advise clients that social media is what you make it. Same goes for marketing, writing, and publishing. You get what you give.
Self-Care
It’s kind of hilarious when people share tips about self-care like ‘take a spa day!’ or, right now with this stay-at-home pandemic situation we find ourselves in, recommendations to paint our nails or watch Netflix instead of working as a form of self-care.
Listen, I love watching shows as much as the next girl (I’m currently streaming Sherlock with Benedict Cumberbatch and enjoying it immensely). And sure, you could probably categorize that as ‘self-care.’ However, self-care is not an occasional treat, like an ice-cream cone (nothing against ice cream).
Self-care is an important part of our daily routine, particularly when we spend the better part of our days on a computer, away from human interaction (I know, the introvert’s dream, right?) I won’t belabor this point. We’re intelligent beings. We know what we need to do.
There are three types of self-care: physical, emotional, and mental. Here’s a list I keep handy:
- Take real, true breaks.
- Breathe deeply.
- Stretch.
- Walk around the block.
- Exercise. Even 10-minutes here and there counts.
- Go out for ice cream with your partner or kids.
- Call your mom, dad, sister, brother, etc.
- Send thank-you notes on actual stationery in actual cursive.
- Instead of wishing someone happy birthday on Facebook, send them a card or #gasp, call them.
- Cook instead of take-out.
- Read instead of watching the movie (the book is always better, anyway.)
You get the point.
Is self-care running away? Nope. It’s giving your brain and body a break. We cannot be on all the time. These activities all embrace active resting. You’re not asleep (though naps are pretty damn awesome), so you’re still stimulating your brain, however, you’re also allowing other parts of your being to chill. Pretty cool, right?
In summary, you need to figure out how to manage all that’s happening in your life. That’s part of being an adult. Life comes at us fast and hard. It’s up to us to negotiate a path that works. You can do it.
Scriveners: Do you find yourself bogged down by social media? Have you given yourself permission to succeed or do you stand in the way of your own success? What do you do to protect yourself and your mental health from an overload of obligations?
Rachel Thompson is the author of the award-winning, bestselling Broken Places (one of IndieReader’s “Best of 2015” top books and 2015 Honorable Mention Winner in the Los Angeles and San Francisco Book Festivals), and the multi-award-winning Broken Pieces, as well as two additional humor books, A Walk In The Snark and Mancode: Exposed.
She released the BadRedhead Media 30-Day Book Marketing Challenge in December 2016 to rave reviews, with an updated ebook and print version in December 2017. She also released an SEO mini-book just for writers in February 2018 which immediately shot to #1 on 5 lists!
She owns BadRedhead Media, creating effective social media and book marketing campaigns for authors. Her articles appear regularly in The Huffington Post, IndieReader.com, FeminineCollective.com, Medium, and Mogul.
Not just an advocate for sexual abuse survivors, Rachel is the creator and founder of the hashtag phenomenon #MondayBlogs, the weekly live Twitter chat, #SexAbuseChat, co-hosted with C Streetlights and Judith Staff (every Tuesday, 6pm pst/9pm est), and #BookMarketingChat (every Wednesday 6pm pst/9pm est), helping authors learn all kinds of great tips to market their books!
She hates walks in the rain, running out of coffee, and coconut. She lives in California with her family.
To learn more about social media, book marketing, or other related topics, visit Rachel’s BadRedheadMedia.com site, or connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn, or join her Street Team!
Purchase The BadRedhead Media 30-Day Book Marketing Challenge part of Amazon.com’s #GreatOnKindle program! Download: https://geni.us/30DayBkMktgChlgeBook The @BadRedheadMedia 30-Day Book Marketing Challenge is officially a “Great Experience. Great Value” at $5.99! Prefer print? https://geni.us/30DayPrint2
Photos royalty-free via unsplash.com
Rachel—Thanks so much for this much needed guide to mental health for over-scheduled and overwhelmed writers. Essential reading and much appreciated!
Hi Ruth! Thanks so much. Always an honor to be featured here. Happy to contribute xx
Great advice, Rachel,
I’m thankfully unimportant & out-of-touch. If my cell might quacks at me once a week, that’s a big week. And I’m writing like a fiend, but not selling like a fiend, so I’ver no books to promote. At some level, that’s a godsend, as I’m having heaps of fun writing.
Perhaps someday I’ll need Hootsuite et. al., but at present, I’m wallowing in the comfort & freedom of my easy-going life.
Happy writing, luv! Do keep in mind, if you want to sell your books at some point, connecting with readers doesn’t happen overnight. Start early and be authentic. Book marketing isn’t optional.
That’s one of the biggest mistakes I see writers make – they wait to interact with readers until they release the book and then expect everyone to snap it up. Doesn’t happen that way.
Something to ponder while you wallow. 🙂
Hi Rachel – Great to read your piece here. Your voice comes thru so clear and strong. I heard someone say that when you get it all down to one shopping cart, you’ve got it made. I’m that way with social media. Facebook for laughs and Twitter for connections. Blogging – best thing I’ve done, but that’s down to once every two weeks now.
This frees up extremely valuable time to get in “the flow”, right? So glad you brought up flow, as achieving this writing-nirvana Zen state is the key to productivity. In my opinion, making money from writing comes down to constantly producing products and then “marketing” them. I might just hire a marketing assistant in the near future. Any recommendations? 😉
Hi Garry! So great to see you here. Yes, flow is so great. And yes, marketing is crucial, not optional, a belief many writers cling to (they’ll figure it out!). I’ve PM’d you on FB about author assistants. xx
Self-care is important. That’s why I take several walks a day and run five miles every day.
I like the filter suggestion, although I tend to just ignore the political stuff on Twitter.
Thanks for all the tips, Rachel!
Alex, thank you for sharing your self-care. I miss taking walks – it’s been so hot and smoky here in NorCal lately, it’s just not an option. Hopefully soon.
You’re quite smart to ignore the political stuff on social. It’s a definitive rabbit hole, and can turn off readers, too.
Thanks for the great post, Rachel! I’m now able to sit at my computer for short intervals, and it’s great to be back in the cyberverse. Thanks for the guest post and many thanks to Ruth and Barb, who are keeping the blog going while I recover.
Lovely Anne. So sorry you’re suffering, yet glad to hear you’re on the mend. We’re glad you’re back! Hugs to you and your helpers. Thank you for having me back. xx
Excellent tips, as always, Rachel 🙂 I haven’t really thought about cooking as self-care, but I see what you mean (I always cook my meals from scratch, and it has a meditative effect when prepping the veggies). Spa days are great, but not something one can do every day (at least not while running your author business).
Hi Ronel! So happy to see you here. Awesome that you love to cook. I get so stressed. Good thing my guy is a former chef – ha! Thank you for sharing your experiences and reading/commenting. xx
Outstanding advice, Rachel. I love Hootsuite, though I admit to falling behind with my scheduler when I’m “in the zone.” About two years ago, I stopped feeling guilty about social media. It was a difficult lesson to learn, but a necessary one. I’m not superwoman either, as much as it pains me to admit. That comment/retweet/message will still be there when you have time to stop. And “most” people understand the delay. For those who don’t, we need to remember that we can’t please everybody all of the time. I’ve been toying with the idea of an assistance for a while now, but the few I’ve spoken to didn’t impress me enough to pay $30-$50/hour. Ideally, I’d love to find someone local so we could meet once or twice a month to strategize.
Do you use Hootlet? I’ve downloaded the extension, but haven’t tested it out yet.
Hi, Sue! Yes, the Hootlet is great. You can share an article from wherever you are on the internet. Super convenient. Nothing to be afraid of. Buffer also has a link shortener as well. What’s nice is they track clicks and provide analytics with these shorteners, so you’ll know how well an article resonated.
As for paying an assistant, feel free to PM/DM me on FB or Twitter, or email me at badredheadmedia@gmail.com if you’d like some recommendations.
A good reminder since I skipped my qigong today! Self-care first, especially before marketing! BTW My copy of the 30-Day Book Marketing Challenge and look forward to reading as soon as I send my ms. off to my editor!
Okay, kinda funny to press send and realize that I should have proofread the sentence that contained the word “editor.” I meant to say that my copy of the book arrived yesterday!
LOL I knew what you meant. Thanks so much, Lisa. I do recommend the ebook version (after all that) mostly because you can simply click on all the links I provide, however, I do understand many writers prefer print so they can make their own notes.
Any questions, I’m here for you. Thank you for purchasing my book. It’s got everything I do on a daily basis so I’m certain it will help you loads.
Really great tips. Thank you. I spend an hour and a half each morning mediating/listening to music on the Calm app. I used to do it once a week and realized I should take care of myself every day! I also ride my bike for about a half hour each day to clear my head – on trails that are not on streets but rather next to boat marinas and parks. I walk my dogs each day. I take time to read each day and have finally hired a virtual assistant to beef up my social media presence. I also have taken about 4 writing classes over the summer, gearing up for Book #2 of the novel I self-published in June. There has to be balance in one’s life and I’m trying to create that, otherwise I get overwhelmed. Thank you for your helpful advice. It’s nice to know I’m not the Lone Ranger when it comes to knowing I can’t do it all.
Excellent share, Patricia! Knowing ourselves is so important. Balancing our work life with our personal one is often extremely difficult, particularly being at home.
And seriously, the idea of ‘doing it all’ is a fallacy. A caricature that’s unattainable even in the best of circumstances. Baby steps are STILL steps, right?
You’re completely correct! Thanks so much.
Excellent article! I now subscribed to your newsletter, Rachel, and bought one of your books. Still feeling overwhelmed, but love what you have to offer. I started blogging only last week. I’m glad I came across your site here. Thank you.
Grats on starting blogging, Katarina! I’m a huge believer in blogging as a crucial part of our author platform. I write a lot about it on Medium as well as in my books, and even teaching an 8-week blogging workshop. BIG topic for me.
Thank you for subscribing! You should receive my 10 free top blogging tips – please LMK if you don’t!
Received and read, along with the book on SEO optimizing. I love your style and very succinct way of passing info. We also have a Big pharma past in common????
Rachel, I have followed you for years and you are always so authentic and helpful! What runs through all your advice is the encouragement to know our priorities and act on them. Having the right tools–I like Buffer and IFTTT myself–is a real force multiplier.
Wow, thank you, Carmen! My sisters call me ‘the Girl Scout – always practical’ LOL. It’s so true, though. I’m the one my family can always count on to have tissues, bandages, lip balm, dental floss, even alcohol wipes in my handbag. I mean, who doesn’t? Haha.
So why would my social media and book marketing be any different? Prep, do what works, trash what doesn’t. Be smart about it. Love that you are using Buffer and IFTTT – both are great. You’re miles ahead just by using those.
And that’s what I want for any writer – this stuff works when you work it, yet take breaks when you need them. It’s not impossible. It’s not rocket science. If we can write a book, we can write a tweet. xx