by Ruth Harris
One of them is lying. Or are both of them lying? You mean maybe both of them are telling the truth? Could be, couldn’t it?
No matter which answer is the correct one, what people say and the words with which they say it, will immediately bring your characters—and your book—to life.
Well written dialogue, skillfully employed, is a potent weapon that will keep readers turning the pages and coming back for more.
1) Dialogue can make—or break—your book.
- Is your dialogue stiff?
- Boring?
- Leaden?
- Do all the characters sound alike?
- Does your dialogue stop the forward motion of your story?
- Or does it move the plot forward?
- Does your dialogue surprise?
- Shock?
- Entertain?
- Ratchet up suspense?
- Provide a frisson of dread in horror?
- Introduce misdirection, a plot twist or a red herring in a mystery?
- Intrigue?
- Is it witty?
- Do your characters sound smart—or do they sound like dopes?
- Does what they say reveal character or backstory?
- Twist the plot?
- Heighten the suspense?
- Or does your dialogue confuse/bore/annoy your reader?
2) What dialogue can do for you.
- Reveal character or a new, unexpected aspect of character. Consider Arnold Schwarzenegger as the kindergarten teacher in Kindergarten Cop. Looks one way, talks another. You can do the same with your characters. She looks like a demure librarian but curses like an HBO comedy special. He looks like 300 pound linebacker, but quotes Yeats.
- Instantly solve your show-don’t tell dilemmas. Don’t tell us she’s witty or hostile or skeptical or that he’s decisive or narcissistic or thoughtful. Dialogue will show the reader their relevant characteristics.
- Move your plot forward.
- As the last line of a chapter, dialogue can act as a cliffhanger, compelling the reader to turn the page.
- Dialogue can be a useful foreshadowing device.
- Reveal (or conceal) a surprise or lead to a misunderstanding.
- Vary pace. If your chapter is getting bogged down in narrative (the dreaded, dense paragraphs of prose), well-written dialogue with lots of white space on the page will speed things up—and give your reader a much-needed break.
3) Keep it short.
People do not speak in paragraphs. Period. (Unless they want to bore the bleep out of their listeners—which is definitely what you do not want to do to your loyal readers.)
People almost always convey their ideas/emotions in quick bursts.
Characters can interrupt each other at crucial plot points to increase suspense and tension.
“He had a —”
“Did you see a man with a bouquet of flowers?” blurts the rookie detective just as she is about to say he was carrying a rocket launcher.
No fancy words. Keep your hands off the thesaurus. People do not sound like dictionaries, much less encyclopedias. Save the “big words” for narrative and, even then, employ judiciously.
- Exceptions:
- A scholar or professor or scientist or other authority figure explaining an essential detail.
- To reveal someone’s insecurity about education or background by using “big words” inappropriately.
- A character trying to impress a date, an interviewer, a teacher. This can work—or it can end disastrously.
- Don’t forget that malaprops can be used for humor.
4) Nix the small talk.
“Hey, Jim!”
“Yo, Eddie.”
“What are you up to?”
“Going to the hardware store. Need a new pipe wrench.”
“You catch the Knicks game yesterday?”
“Uh-uh. I had to take the dog to the vet.”
“Which vet did you go to? The one on Fifth Street took excellent care of our cat.”
Yawn.
Please! Unless this is supersecret code couched in everyday banalities, hit the delete button. If not, what are Jim and Eddie doing in this book? Why are we listening to them? Get to the point and clue us in.
Small talk is bad enough in real life. In a book, it’s reader abuse. So proceed accordingly.
5) Make sure your dialogue suits the genre
Whether you’re writing a mystery, romance, a thriller, horror or sci fi, dialogue must be appropriate to the genre.
- Hard boiled detective? Think Raymond Chandler.
- Romance? Consider Nora Roberts.
- Spy thriller? Consult James Bond or Jason Bourne.
- Space epic? Star Wars.
- Historical mystery? Agatha Christie will show the way.
- Woman sleuth? Can range from Janet Evanovich to Miss Marple.
6) All your characters sound alike?
Every job or profession has its own jargon and acronyms. Use slang, lingo and jargon to differentiate characters and add authenticity to your story and characters.
Cyber jargon (tail recursion, VS Code) is different from stock market lingo (PE ratio, IPO). Jock talk (double fault, defensive holding) isn’t the same as cosmetic counter chat (dewy, matte).
- Military, medical and bureaucratic jargon and acronyms abound. Just ask Google.
- A teen-aged girl shopping with her friend at Sephora does not sound like a chart-topping rapper.
- A twenty-first century homicide detective does not speak the same language as a Regency era debutante.
- A six year old ballet student practicing barre in a pink tutu and an NFL coach do not sound the same. (At least I hope not.)
- Perps and professors usually don’t converse—except when they do.
- Poets and brick layers usually don’t encounter each other—except when they do.
- Mismatches can be very entertaining to read and lots of fun to write.
Using jargon appropriate to your characters and setting can spice up and/or add solid grounding to your story. It can also instantly differentiate one character from another.
7) STFU. Please.
Your characters talk too much? Blah, blah, blah, on and on. And on—while the reader is screaming for them to just STFU (shut the *%#@ up)? And begging the writer to get on with the story?
Indirect dialogue will solve the problem of long blocks of dialogue. Anne drills down to the how-to and the nitty gritty.
8) Subtext.
We’re talking about the situation when what is said is the opposite of what is meant. Specifically, the infamous “I’ll call you” at the end of a dud date. Or “I’ll have my people set up something with your people” at the conclusion of a go-nowhere business meeting.
I used a variation of this device in my upcoming cozy mystery, Park Avenue Blondes, when Blake Weston, the protagonist, gets a phone call from a ditzy socialite she hadn’t seen or heard from since the third grade.
“Isn’t it exciting?” Muffy trilled. “That murder is the most exciting thing that ever happened to me.”
“Actually it didn’t happen to you.”
“That’s true,” she had to admit. “Poor Harrison. He didn’t deserve to die that way.”
“He deserved to die some other way?”
“Oh, Blake, you always were a sketch. I mean, he should have died of cancer or a heart attack. You know, something respectable, don’t you think?”
Uninterested in speculating about possible alternate reasons for Harrison Porter’s demise and hearing Ralph’s key in the door, I decided the time had come to end the conversation. “Thanks for calling, Muffy. It’s been a long time.”
“Too long,” she agreed. “Let’s have lunch. I mean it.”
Which, in Upper-East-Side-speak, meant we’d never see each other again as long as we both lived. Never mind lunch.
9) Sexy time.
Can proceed from double-entendre banter to sweet nothings to pillow talk to morning after-recaps.
Let your imagination—and your genre, sub-genre and characters—be your guide.
10) The sounds of silence.
Sometimes it’s what isn’t said that matters.
The comment that isn’t exactly a lie, but isn’t the whole truth, either. Consider the used car salesman who tells the potential customer the car is in perfect running condition with low mileage but omits the fact that the car spent a week underwater in Alabama during the last hurricane.
Dodging the question. Politicians excel at this so can any character who has something to hide—an embarrassing secret, a guilty conscience.
“You’re having an affair, aren’t you,” she asks after discovering lipstick on her husband’s Calvin Klein tighty whiteys.
He picks up a magazine.
She raises her voice, crosses her arms over her chest. “Well, how did that lipstick get there?”
He fumbles for the remote, switches on the TV, turns up the volume on the football game.
In the next scene, she hires a lawyer—or a hit man.
11) Bag the backstory.
A few lines of dialogue can convey backstory more effectively and much more quickly than subjecting your reader to a boring info dump.
1. She’s a prominent criminal defense lawyer; he invented a cheap, over-the-counter pill that cures the common cold. They met in a college science lab—hated each other on sight—but now, seeing each other after a decade or so, they are reconsidering their initial reaction.
“Congratulations on that Nobel Prize for developing ColdZapper.”
“Thanks. I saw you on CBTV talking about the case of the gymnast who was accused of murdering her coach even though she didn’t do it. What made you decide to switch from chemistry to criminal defense law?”
“My sister was falsely arrested for a murder she didn’t commit, so I decided to go to law school. My career took off when she was acquitted and now people who are falsely accused come to me for help.”
2. Scene is at a neighborhood dog run when shots ring out. Before a SWAT team in full military gear has time to arrive, her adorable dachshund, Sugar Pie, snarls, springs into action, gets the bad guy and holds him until the cops come. Meanwhile the hunky neighbor who fixed her dishwasher can’t decide whether to invite her to dinner—or run like hell.
“Wow! Sugar Pie sure knew what to do. Where did she learn that?”
“I train attack dogs for police departments. When I adopted Sugar Pie from the shelter, she was afraid of her own shadow.”
12) Use dialogue tags when necessary for clarity.
Some writing gurus advise against using dialogue tags, but I disagree. An important part of the writer’s job is to make the story clear to the reader.
When there are multiple characters in a scene, the skillful use of tags provides essential guideposts for the reader. Even when there are just two chracters, be sure to ID who’s speaking so the reader doesn’t have to back track to figure out who is speaking.
You can help your reader by making sure each character has a different way of speaking, via the plain vanilla route, or by interspersing action beats every five or six exchanges.
- “Blah, blah.”
- “Yackety yak.”
- “Blah, blah.”
- “Yackety yak.”
- “Blah, blah,” Jane said.
- “Yackety yak,” Fred said.
- Or:
- “Blah, blah.” Jane twisted her ring. “Blah, blah, blah.”
- “Yackety yak.” Fred pointed his gun at her. “Yackety, yak, yak.”
13) Here be rules. How to format dialogue.
Where do the quote marks go?
Single quote marks or double quote marks? What’s the difference and how do you use them?
How do I format a dialogue tag?
How do I format an action beat?
Consult this simple guide.
14) Improve your listening skills to improve your dialogue.
Kate Murphy, author of “You’re not listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters,” offers tips on the art of listening from a C.I.A. agent, focus group moderator, radio producer, priest, bartender and furniture salesmen.
Read plays and screenplays, because they tell the entire story and describe characters using nothing but dialogue.
Pay attention to the lines characters say when you go to the movies or binge watch TV. A love story will use a different vocabulary than an action-thriller.
Eavesdrop with a purpose—overheard conversations on the street, in a coffee shop or on a commuter train can offer gold. Make notes of interesting phrases and off beat word choices—one day those notes might help you find the perfect solution to a dialogue or even a plot problem.
Visit an unfamiliar place or neighborhood—a florist shop, hardware store, a construction site—for fresh ideas. Quentin Tarantino took this idea to the max: “I was kind of excited to go to jail for the first time and I learnt some great dialogue.”
15) KISS for memorable dialogue.
“I’m shocked—shocked!—there’s gambling at Rick’s Café.”
“I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”
“Make my day.”
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
Maybe Rhett didn’t, but you should. Give a damn, that is, about learning to write compelling, entertaining, suspenseful, dramatic dialogue.
PSA: In case you don’t know, the acronym, KISS, stands for Keep It Simple, Stupid. Originally a design principle noted by the U.S. Navy in 1960, KISS has been applied to many other circumstances over the intervening years.
Works for dialogue, too. 😉
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What about you, scriveners? Do you have problems with writing authentic sounding dialogue? Did dialogue tags mystify you when you started writing? Do you prefer books with lots of dialogue, or are you happier to stay in the protagonist’s head?
If you want to know what Anne’s up to, she’s started a new series on her book blog: “Ask the Manners Doctor.” Internet etiquette questions answered by Camilla Randall’s alter ego, The Manners Doctor. This month’s questions are about the “naked hello.” Is it rude to ignore an unexplained “hello” on social media? Check out YOU LOST ME AT HELLO: ASK THE MANNERS DOCTOR.
BOOK OF THE WEEK
MODERN WOMEN was originally published in hard cover and paperback by St. Martin’s Press..
The lives of three modern women—and the men in their lives.
“Author Ruth Harris’ rapier wit spices up a coming-of-age-in-the-sexist-‘
“Ruth Harris has written a superb ‘rags to riches’ story. Harris creates characters that are alive and familiar. These three women, Lincky, Jane and Elly, are like old friends, women we’ve all known. Their experiences, hopes and fears are universal and, yet, like most modern women they, too, wonder if they will find the right man and or how to get rid of the wrong one. Each in their own way finds success at the top and a successful relationship. You’ll love MODERN WOMEN.” —West Coast Review of Books
“Bestsellers like Decades, Husbands And Lovers and Love And Money have established Ruth Harris as one of the frankest, most stylish, and most compelling voices in contemporary fiction.” —Chicago Sun-Times
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Featured image by Helmuth Pandora at Pixabay.
As a nonnative English speaker who struggles writing dialogue, I enjoyed this post a lot. Better yet, I learned lots of new tips to apply to my writing.
Thank you, Anne!
~Ingmar Albizu
Ingmar—Ruth here to thank you for the kind words. Glad to hear the post can help. Learning to write good dialogue takes a while!
Hey Ruth & Anne,
Thanks for this fabulous advice on writing dialogue. You are so right with, “People do not speak in paragraphs.” Oy. Mostly, we don’t even speak in sentences. Especially when it comes to dialogue, fiction writers need to actively purge their minds of all those middle school English lessons on avoiding fragments (says the guy who taught those middle school English lessons for 30+ years).
CS—Oh! So *now* you’re fessing up? 😉
Ruth & Anne,
Wonderful advice and so true. As an FBI agent, I was paid to follow the “80/20 Rule” (listen 80% of the time and talk 20%) and I believe it was helpful for capturing authentic dialogue. BTW, liked your references to STFU and KISS–it seems these principles work in everyday life as well as in writing dialogue.
Finally, you got me thinking (always dangerous)–I had laid out a scene in a short story, a telephonic conversation between two law enforcement officers, which is the pivotal moment in the story and, after reading your “The Sound of Silence,” decided to leave a piece of the dialogue dangling in a purposeful silence. I think you just improved the story.
Thank you.
Ken Strange
@strangetemplars
Ken—Love your/the FBI’s 80/20% rule! Thanks.
Delighted to learn my post (maybe) improved your story. Hope so.
A super smart and successful lawyer once told me to let the other person talk—that silence causes people to become uncomfortable. Which is when they spill. Or tell you something you shouldn’t know. Or say something that is not in their own best interest. I’ve followed his advice and found it to be true. Sometimes to my own advantage. 😉
Spot-on Ruth! “Silence is golden” for investigators…for all the reasons you mention.
What about an NFL coach in a pink tutu?
Varying the dialog, giving each character some unique way of speaking, is what I’m in the middle of doing right now with my manuscript.
And yes, dialog is sloppy. Just make sure it’s all meaningful.
Alex—Bill Belichick would *never” wear a pink tutu. He’d go for Patriot blue. With a hoodie.
Sparingly for military jargon. No one will know what you mean if you put in, “First shirt says to double-time it to the AO for a can of sprockets.” Heck, I was in the Army, and the jargon did not cross services. A little will go a long ways. I made up a lot of military jargon for my space opera–spacers, dirtside, UFO Bars (which the soldiers define as Unidentified Food Object). You can get away a lot with soldiers nicknaming things, and we did do that a lot.
Linda—but of course! Thanks, too, for the made up jargon.
Thank you for this refresher, Ruth. You certainly covered a lot of ground. My pet peeve: books that open with conservation. How can you care what characters are saying without knowing something about them–where they are, what they are doing?
Leanne—thanks for the kind words and ditto. Although I *think* it’s been done successfully. Maybe by Elmore Leonard?
Well educated people pretty regularly use ‘big words’ or at least less common ones. Not everyone talks in monosyllables. Varying the type of vocabulary is one way to convey characterisation.
JR—Absolutely! As you say, excellent way to characterize. Still, I’d be sparing and just use when appropriate to setting/character.
Always love your advice. And your contest posts help so much. But—Muffy trilled? Even though she is named Muffy, only birds trill.
Elizabeth—lol Well, what can I say? Muffy be Muffy. 🙂
Lately, I’ve been skimming the narrative, paying more attention to the dialogue to test myself on whether I can see a difference in the characters’ voices.
traci—interesting! Thanks for the alert. Writers, pay attention!
I’ve read how writing dialogue is a lot like acting. Writing a conversation can be compared to actors performing on a stage or before a camera. A writer does best dialogue by acting out their characters in their heads or the seclusion of their writing rooms. I have tried putting myself in my characters’ heads. It seems to work for me most of the time. Other times, I listen to what people talk about. Sometimes, that’s more real than acting.
Stanley—Thanks for bringing up the excellent point about the link between writing dialogue and acting. The ability to put yourself in your characters’ heads is vital. And, as you also say, listening to people can also add depth and dimension. Whatever works is—or should be—the writers’ motto. We’re professional scavengers!
I have lots of bad writing habits, including dialogue, as a result of the time period I was raised in re: schooling. Working on undoing them!
Willow—We learn. Then we unlearn. Such is life! 😉
Great article – very helpful! I know dialogue is something I constantly need to work on – particularly on culling the small talk. It just feels so abrupt for two characters to meet in class and immediately launch into whatever serious topic they’re discussing.
Irwin—Thank you for the flattering words. You’ve brought up an interesting point: namely, how does the writer transition from “the on-going story/narrative” to dialogue without small/talk chatter. Might be the subject of another post. Thanks for bringing this to my attention!
Oh, this is gooooood, Ruth. I particularly enjoyed reading about listening to dialogue to familiarize oneself about how “others” speak. In an interview with Tom Hanks on Ellen the other day regarding his role as Mister Rogers, he said he learned the term “WAIT”, i.e Why Am I Talking. People don’t do enough listening. And that would sooo help me with dialogue which I absolutely love writing. I just don’t get out of my little cocoon and go to unfamiliar venues and “listen”. Thank you.
Patricia—Thanks for the flattering words and for bringing up the Tom Hanks term, WAIT. Actors often comment that listening is as important as speaking in creating their scenes.
Have fun getting out of your cocoon, but would you really take QuentinT’s route and go to jail to discover some new dialogue? lol 🙂
I am sure I’d be scared to death to be in jail however I understand the intrigue. I mean, what is it REALLY like to be in prison? That’s why prison movies are so popular, I think. It’s a world that many of us know nothing about – only from movies. Kind of like the Mafia films. It’s totally gross what goes on inside of the Mafia but the interest is definitely there from us outsiders. Hence, the popularity of The Sopranos.
I liked “Muffy trilled.” The tag dragged along the visual of her hand fluttering like wings as she tried to make her point. It may be my imagination only, but that’s why I read.
gbvoss—Thank you! Your visual is exactly on-target about ditzy socialite Muffy who has a way of (literally) waving away inconvenient realities. The precise reason I chose the word “trilled.” Thanks again. Every author dreams of readers like you!
Great article, Ruth! Thank you. I just read the Kate Murphy article you mentioned, and it’s also very good.
Tricia—thanks so much for the kind words! I’m happy to hear you found the Kate Murphy article relevant and hope my post was helpful. Anne and I appreciate our readers and thank you for taking the time to comment!
I sometimes read amateur writers, and the absence of contractions in dialog makes the whole thing almost unreadable.
I enjoy writing dialog. I used dialog to (almost) begin my fantasy series. Beginnings are so important to establish tone, so I started my fantasy series (“Lying Swords”) like this: Cory and Tara realized at the same instant that they’d been drugged. Before Cory could demand a reason why, Tara voiced her outrage.
“You drugged us! Uncle Shoji, you ogre butt!”
,
Fred—great! You IDd the characters and situation *before* they spoke so the reader knows what happened *and* why they’re saying what they do. Very quick way to start and to orient the reader. Thanks for sharing your approach to (almost) starting with dialogue! 🙂
Yes, yes, YES! Excellent advice! Sharing…
Melissa—Thank you for the flattering words *and* for sharing. Much appreciated!
Another excellent post, Ruth and Anne! Thank you so much for this succinct description of dialogue. I’ve shared it online and will bookmark it. All best to you, ladies!
Victoria—Thanks for the flattering words — and for sharing. Anne and I appreciate your support, and I’m glad to learn the post resonated!