Want to land a guest blogging gig? Don’t clown around.
by Anne R. Allen
Marketing gurus will tell you guest blogging is one of the best ways to get your name out there to sell books and/or writing services. And they’re right. Here are some reasons why.
But the gurus don’t often tell you how to land guest spots. Or how to find the best ones to reach your readers.
Sometimes I wonder if there’s a handbook telling potential guests exactly how to annoy bloggers and get rejected as fast as possible.
I get dozens of queries every day from wannabe guests (and authors who want reviews and interviews) who have never visited the blog. But they almost always include a live link to it.
They don’t even check to see if we’re book reviewers or interviewers or if this blog is likely to advertise designer watches, pharmaceuticals or porn.
They certainly don’t read our guidelines to see that this is not an entry-level blog and we only take 12 guests a year. Most are by invitation, and we book 6 months in advance. We only take 1 or 2 guests a year from cold queries.
***
All this has helped me develop a new sympathy for agents and editors. Believe me, nobody wants to spend their days writing rejections.
Especially when they have actual paying jobs piling up and deadlines flying by.
This is something pretty much all successful bloggers have to deal with. We’d love to know where all this bad advice is coming from.
Unfortunately misinformation seems to zoom all over the ‘Net before common sense can put on its pants.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that because blogs are technically “social media,” that standard rules of business etiquette do not apply.
A query to a blogger—whether you’re asking for a review, interview, spotlight, or guest spot—is a business letter. Would you go to a job interview without bothering to find out if the business is a fashion boutique, a pharmacy, or a XXX porn theater?
I didn’t think so.
So use your head and put your businessperson hat on it before you hit “send.”
I know my regular readers aren’t guilty of this stuff, but do pass on the information. I’m hoping this post may nudge a few people to STOP following the Bad Guest Blogging Handbook.
How NOT to Query for a Guest Blogging Spot
The Bad Guest Blogging Handbook apparently has a set of rules like this:
1. Google your keyword and send mass emails to every blogger who has ever used that word in a blogpost.
2. NEVER visit a blog you want to guest for. Visiting blogs gives you cooties.
3. Don’t check to see if the blog welcomes guests. Just be condescending. Condescension shows you’re a superior being, so of course they’ll have to give you the gig.
4. If you have questions about a blog, always pepper the blogger with tons of clueless emails. Don’t find the answers yourself by glancing at the blog (Cooties!) Make the blogger do all the work and show ’em who’s boss. If you click on that link you include in your email, you might find something like this:
5. If the blogger posts guidelines this way, and you happen to see them, for goodness’ sake DO NOT FOLLOW THEM. Those are for other people. You don’t need no stinkin’ guidelines.
6. Don’t bother to find out if the blog has anything to do with your field or genre. You’re a special snowflake, so they’ll welcome anything you write
7. Be casual. Nobody wants a guest who’s uptight and stuffy.
8. If you don’t get an answer, make sure you pester the blogger for weeks with a lot of whining and insulting remarks. NSFW language preferred. If they send your email to spam, harass them on social media.
8. When you reference a particular post, make sure you DON’T READ IT. (Cooties!) But do say what a great article it is and how much you enjoyed it. Bloggers love it when you lie.
So here’s a sample Bad Guest Blogging Handbook Query letter:
You might shoot this off to Steve Forbes of Forbes Magazine via Twitter Direct Message:
Hey Steverino!
I’m a big fan of Forbes and I love, love, love your piece on “BALLOONING HEALTHCARE COSTS.” It, like, totally changed my life!
Since you’re into balloons, I know you’re a clown who lives to make those balloon wiener dogs and giraffes for the kids at birthday time, so I’m going to offer you my guest post HOW TO MAKE BALLOON ANIMALS. This will be absolutely free of charge! I will be including a few links to adult entertainment videos and sites selling male enhancement medications, but there won’t be more than 30 or 40.
In exchange, you’ll get a link from my blog, which has an Alexa rating of 30 million! This will raise your SEO and increase your readership!
I need you to run my post no later than Wednesday.
If you don’t care about your career, go ahead and ignore this message, but you’ll never make it in business with that kind of loser attitude, Steve. ????
Plz reply ASAP!
BAD GUEST BLOGGER.
And if you follow those rules, I promise you’ll never get a guest spot from any blogger I’ve ever met.
***
How to Query to be Guest Blogger: 10 Tips
Okay. Enough on what not to do. Here’s how you do it right.
You query a blogger pretty much the same way you query an agent, publisher, or magazine editor.
1) Send a Professional Query via Email
Write it with proper paragraphing, punctuation, capitalization and spelling. Emojis are not appropriate.
This is true whether you’re asking for a review, interview, spotlight, or guest post spot. Be businesslike, concise, respectful, and don’t lie.
Seriously. Don’t lie.
Honesty will put you head and shoulders above 99% of the people who query. The rest of them have read the Bad Blogger Handbook.
2) Research to Find the Best Blogs for Your Post
Think first about where a guest post might reach the most potential buyers for your books. Where are your readers likely to be? Be creative. Consider your genre, setting, and your protagonist’s hobbies or quirks.
Write Romance? You’ll reach a lot more writers at “Romance University” or “Romance Divas” than this blog, which is for writers of all genres.
But you might reach even more Romance readers if you guest at a blog that’s not for writers at all. If your romances are set in a particular place, consider reaching out to travel blogs about the area of your setting. People planning vacations buy more fiction than people arguing about prologues. Do a search on your setting and start clicking.
Consider group blogs of authors in your genre. Write mysteries? Blogs like “Jungle Red Writers”, “Deadly Divas”, or “Hey there’s a Dead Guy in the Living Room” are great places to land a guest spot. Google “mystery blogs” and you’ll be amazed at how many are out there.
Maybe your sleuth is a real estate agent. (There seems to be a growing subgenre of real estate mysteries. I think it deserves its own category, don’t you?) What if you could be a guest blogger for a real estate site? You could make sales to people who’d never buy a mystery otherwise. That’s pure gold. Try a pitch to an in-house blog for a real estate network about a particular problem your sleuth runs up against.
Have a protagonist who’s caring for an aging parent? Try reaching out to caregiver blogs. Have a military memoir? Try a blog about military collectibles or recent military history.
Google is your friend.
3) Once you Choose the Blogs to Query, READ THE GUIDELINES.
I’m going to repeat that. Read. The. Guidelines. Here are our guidelines for guest bloggers.
That would be BEFORE you query. I had one wannabe guest blogger promise he’d follow my guidelines IF I gave him a guest spot.
“Guidelines” is kind of a misnomer. They are directions. Rules. Commandments. Follow them.
The guidelines on the actual blog you are querying trump anything you read elsewhere.
Here I’m saying a pitch can be short, but if the blogger says she wants a four-page single spaced pitch, write a four-page single-spaced pitch.
The blogger is the boss. If you want to get the gig, you have to please the blogger. See how that works?
4) Say Why you Chose the Blog to Query
A blog query should start with a sentence explaining why you’re querying that particular blog. You know why because you did your research, right?
DO NOT MAKE STUFF UP. It’s a deal-breaker. Why go to the trouble of sending a query only to brand yourself as a liar?
I got one recently that said. “I’m a big fan of “annerallen.com” and I know how passionate you are about physical fitness and that’s why you keep your body in tip-top shape.”
Anybody who knows me in real life will see the humor in that. 🙂
So VISIT THE &%$@ BLOG. Read more than one post. At least look at a few headers. I wrote a post about “Writer’s Block and Depression” in 2011. But a quick look around will tell you this is not a mental health blog. But I get 100s of requests from guest bloggers who want to use it to talk about mental health.
So it takes five minutes of your precious time. You’re taking five minutes of my precious time to read and respond to your query.
And you’re sending my blood pressure through the roof.
If you’re a regular reader of a blog, you’re much more likely to get a spot, so the best place to start querying is a blog you read regularly because you actually like it and have an interest in the topics it addresses.
5) The Pitch(es)
A guest post query can have one pitch or several. I prefer several, so I can choose. Sometimes a great potential guest may have a wonderful idea, but we’re running a post on that subject next week, so I’ll want to see what else they’ve got.
Pitches don’t have to be elaborate. Just give your possible topics with a few sentences after each about your angle and why you’re qualified to write about it. A bulleted list works fine. Give word count if it’s not specified in the guidelines.
- How to Market Books on Snapchat. I’ve boosted my sales by 25% with this method. I’ll provide a step-by-step how-to. 500-800 words.
- The Growing Romance Market in India. Amazon’s push into the Indian market has opened up a huge market for romance authors. I offer some do’s and don’ts for authors writing for Indian readers. 1000 words.
- 10 Cures for Writer’s Block. New research shows the burned-out brain can be reset into creative mode. I give 10 tips for getting your mojo back. 1200 words.
On the other hand, if you’re passionate about one subject and you have unique knowledge, write a longer pitch about that.
If you’re querying the folks at the Big Name Real Estate blog to promote your new cozy, Murder in Escrow, you might pitch a topic especially for them:
How to Market a “Haunted” House. I have been a realtor for nearly twenty years, so I’ve sold my share of houses where someone has died.
After seeing some “death” houses sell for way under value, I’ve discovered how to turn things around. I’ve found it’s best to turn your “defect” into an asset.
I can list ten steps for drawing the kind of client who will actually compete to buy a “haunted” house. I’ll explain how I got 10% over asking on my last sale using this advertising technique.
6) Credentials and Awards
Here’s where you get to crow about awards you’ve won and bestsellers you’ve written if they’re relevant. If you were nominated for an Emmy or you’ve been on the NYT bestseller list, oh yeah, people are going to be impressed. That penmanship award in third grade…not so much.
I’ve been blown away by the credentials of some of the guests who have queried us. Gerry DiPego has a Golden Globe in his resume as well as about 20 wildly successful movies. Melodie Campbell is a college writing instructor as well as a well-known Canadian humorist. Lawrence Block is, well, Lawrence Block. And Terence Stamp is a #@%* movie star!
But you don’t have to be a bestselling author to get a guest spot on a high profile blog. We’ve hosted unpublished authors, too, if they have a unique subject, big blog following, or a fresh take on a popular subject.
7) Your Online Following
Even if your work isn’t published in book form, if you’ve got a big social media following, that can actually be more attractive to a blogger than a major award or a big bestseller.
But don’t say in your query that you have a “very popular blog” if you don’t, because we can look it up.
You want your online following to be compatible with the blog you’re querying, or there could be problems.
Note: I’m talking about an online following here, not an email subscriber list.
When people tell me they have a mind-bogglingly huge email subscriber list, that doesn’t mean much for blog reach. Unless you can bring all those people to read your post on my blog, it’s irrelevant.
Stuff to keep in mind:
Alexa Rating
Blogs are rated by various ranking systems, the most common of which is Alexa, which rates all the websites in the world. #1 is Google. Ours comes in at around #60,000 in the US and #250,000 in the world. The average author blog is doing very well if it comes in under a million.
But if you tell me you have one of the most popular writing blogs ever, and your Alexa rating is 20 million, I’ll know you’re a tad delusional.
There’s nothing wrong with having a small following. A powerful reason for guest blogging is to extend your online following. Just don’t lie about it.
Your own readership
Make sure your following is compatible with the blog you’re querying. If you have a blog that’s very political, your followers will be bored visiting a non-political blog like this, especially if you post something here that’s apolitical and out of character.
They might try to start an argument in the comments which would make our peeps unhappy.
If your blog has a lot of stuff that’s NSFW, and my readers go over to find out more about you and get socked in the eye with an “F” bomb or a lot of nudity, I’m going to hear about it and it won’t be pleasant. Try querying Chuck Wendig instead (warning: NSFW). I think he’s brilliant but the language will fry your eyeballs.
8) Clips
This is where you talk about where you’ve been published as a nonfiction article writer. But only talk about the relevant ones. Include a few links to articles and guest posts you’ve written for magazines and high profile blogs other than your own.
In the old days, these were actual pieces of paper clipped from magazines or newspapers.
These days they’re live links to publications and blogs. Don’t fill the email with links. Three or four is plenty. So choose the most relevant, prestigious ones.
This is a writing blog, so if you’ve been published in a place like Poets and Writers or Writer’s Digest, that’s what you want to lead with. Writers are always impressed if you got published by a journal that pays you in actual money. We all know how hard it is to get paid.
If you’ve been a guest of a big, popular writing blog like The Book Designer, Jane Friedman, Writers on the Storm, Fiction University, Romance University, etc. that’s a big plus, too.
But remember a clip is an example of your writing. Don’t simply offer another blogger a repost of the same material. You can offer to write for them on the same subject, but don’t simply offer a cut-and-paste. That’s disrespectful to both blogs.
9) Blog Tour Specifics if Relevant
If you have a time window, giveaways, contests, etc, and you want this post to be part of a blog tour, be sure to mention it.
In closing, writers planning a tour usually say, “I have a book on [writing craft/marketing/indie publishing] which debuts in [August 2017] and I’d like a spot in [Sept/Oct/Nov 2017]”
Make sure you will be available in that time window to respond to comments. Not all bloggers respond to all comments the way we do, but responding to comments is the way you make connections and sell books, so if you’re not available, you’re losing sales.
Obviously a blog like this one is most useful for authors looking to promote a how-to book, podcast, or service for writers. If your fiction involves writers, that can be a plus, too. But it doesn’t do that much to move most fiction except to raise your profile and get your name out there.
10) VISIT THE BLOG BEFORE YOU QUERY!!
VISIT. THE. BLOG. Read the words. At least the headers of a few posts.
Do you see any book reviews? Maybe it’s not a book review site.
See any porn? Maybe it’s not a porn site.
See any guidelines? READ THEM!!
Do those things, and you’ll be in top 1% of all queriers. Don’t you want to be up there with the best?
I promise you won’t get cooties.
***
For more info on how to query a blogger specifically for book reviews, see book blogger Barb Drozdowich’s post How to Get Book Reviews.
by Anne R. Allen @annerallen December 18, 2016
What about you, scriveners? Have you tried guest blogging? Has it boosted your sales or raised your profile? What kind of blog gets the best results for you? Bloggers, what other tips do you have for people who query you?
This week you can find Ruth Harris at her book blog. She’s talking about her hilarious comic novel Husband Training School.
COMING UP IN 2017: In January we’ll have our annual visit from agent Laurie McLean, founder of Fuse Literary Agency. She’ll take a look into her crystal ball and tell us what she sees coming up in the publishing industry in 2017. Next, we’ll have a visit from multiple award-winning author and editor Paul Alan Fahey, whose post on how to write the novella has been one of our most popular posts of the last few years. We’ll also have a post from Audible narrator C. S. Perryess on what makes the best material to turn into an audiobook.
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Hey Anne,
My loving mother taught me to always look for a silver lining. You’ve pointed a new silver lining out to m with this post. There are heaps of reasons to be happy I don’t get many visitors at my blog. And because of that, I don’t get people harassing me about guest posts & such. I’m a fortunate guy!
C.S.–It’s a silver lining indeed. There are times I think of retiring this blog because of the $***load of email I have to deal with every day. Sometimes it takes all morning. I remember when I used to be able to write fiction in the mornings…haha! Enjoy your “unsuccess.” A smaller author blog still gets you on Google’s radar and gives you an online presence.
Research is particularly important. I’m on a Facebook writers list for women. They just did a post for blogs looking for writers to interview, write guest posts, etc. I’ve only contacted one so far, out of the long list. Most were not in my topic area (i.e., not in the right country, wrong topic, etc.). When I looked at some of the ones that interested me, I passed on nearly every one. One was a newly started blog with only three posts. Probably no audience, and the writer has a high likelihood of dropping off posts. Many others that said on FB they were looking for writers had no guidelines whatsoever, and in some cases, no evidence that they had interviewed or asked writers to guest post.
Linda–I used to do interviews with any blogger who invited me, but as you say, many bloggers just aren’t organized enough to be worth it. If people aren’t serious enough about their blog, your interview will be lost in the ether. A blog doesn’t have to have a fantastic Alexa rating to be useful, but it does need an engaged audience. A little poking around will tell you if it’s worth your time.
Hi, Anne,
Humorous, informative and helpful (as always). I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who posts guidelines that potential guest bloggers completely ignore and who gets these absurd queries (why would I invite anyone to post an article about racing cars when I show zero interest in that topic and I never write about them, myself?).
Most of these emails contain clueless queries that are probably generated by ‘bots, anyway, so ignoring them is my policy, now.
Best to you and Happy Holidays, Everyone!
Sally
Sally–Race cars? You got that one too? I guess some of those are sent out by bots. But just my luck, when I send them to spam, there’s always one or two that are sent by real, entitled people who pester me on social media and ask why I haven’t responded. Sigh.
Happy Holidays to you too!
THANK YOU! This post couldn’t have been more relevant for me today! I just got a form form from my editor (for the publicist) asking to come up with possible book review blogs. I think fiction is more challenging than NF. It was fairly easy to find organizations promoting living donation that were hungry for positive stories from donors when I was blogging about my memoir, but I think it will be harder for the novels. I’m thinking maybe I should target sites for empaths, clairvoyance, and post-partum depression (some themes in the book) but most of the book reviewers I find are for romance, mystery or paranormal. My novel is coming-of-age set in the 60’s-70’s so maybe baby boomers? Feels a little overwhelming but I so appreciate the advice. 🙂
Eldonna–Querying a review blogger is pretty much the same drill. More on that at book review blogger Barb Drozdowich’s post here https://annerallen.com/book-review-10-tips/ I should maybe put that link in the post.
I have to admit it’s harder to find blogs for Boomer Lit. My favorite Boomer blogger retired and quit blogging. But probably more have started and they are out there. Just keep looking. Best of luck! This is the right time to start–before you book launches!
I’ve read many posts about guest blogging, but this is the one I enjoyed the most.
Also, always looking forward to your Sunday newsletter.
Thanks for always reminding me how a quality blog post should look like, Anne.
Have a great Sunday!
Gill
Gill–Thanks much! I’m glad you enjoyed it.. I hope a little humor can help people see things from a blogger’s perspective.
Good to know I’m not the only one who gets a slew of bad requests. Many are cookie-cutter, spaghetti on the wall type. Some are spam – going out to anyone and everyone. And sometimes they are from real authors and such that just didn’t bother to read my guidelines. Like you, I won’t feature someone who has never visited my blog.
And thanks, I feel really, really honored that I have provided a guest post for you and more than once!
Alex–I’ll bet you get a ton of them! Lots of mine are spaghetti or spam, but others are real authors and it’s so very frustrating. Like you, I post guest guidelines in a prominent place and spell out exactly what people should do, but they just don’t bother. It’s so frustrating! You have such a great blog and you do so much for your fellow writers. You’re welcome any time!
I love this, Anne. You made me laugh out loud a couple of times. It’s hard to believe that people waste their time and more importantly, yours, by neglecting their research.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Kathy–I sometimes think these people are wasting my time on purpose. The ones that say.”I read your blog all the time and I just read this post [link] on guest blogging and I wanted to ask, do you take guest bloggers and how much do you pay?” Ack!! They seriously couldn’t click their little mouses on that link they put in the email? Or are they being sadistic on purpose? Hard to tell.
Merry Christmas to you too! We will have a new post on Christmas Day, but we won’t be by to respond to comments until later in the week.
Oh Anne!!
A winner today! I SO wish that everyone would follow your instructions regardless of where they query. I have seen every example that you write of. My favorite query to date is:
“Yo Dude. Review my book…I’m gonna win SO many awards it’s so good.”
You’d think we make this stuff up…but sadly, we don’t….
Merry Christmas to everyone!
Barb
Barb–Seriously, people may think we make this up, but we really don’t. Well, maybe I did a little with the one to Steve Forbes. 🙂 But it’s only a slight exaggeration. Sigh.
Have a great holiday season!
As always, I’m laughing, because you say it with such WIT, Anne! I had a fellow query me about guesting on my blog last week. He wanted to talk about his new book. I asked if it was a crime book. I asked if it was comedy. I asked if he had ever LOOKED at my blog. Nope to all, but someone had told him “it’s good for exposure because it gets a lot of traffic.”
I told him as gently as possible without actually killing him, that allegorical religious books are not a good fit for Bad Girl. (I can hear you laughing from here, Anne.)
Melodie–“…allegorical religious books are not a good fit for Bad Girl.” Yup. Almost lost a keyboard here. Snort. Too funny.
That’s exactly it. ALL they look at is your traffic. Our Alexa rating had a big jump because of a couple of posts that went viral last month, so suddenly I’m getting 100s of queries a day. Do any of them have to do with writing books or publishing? Not a one. 🙁
I’ve been getting requests lately. My favorite is when it starts “Dear Admin”.
Southpaw–Hi there! *waves*. I love those too. “Dear Admin. I am a regular reader of Anne R. Allen’s Blog…” Oh yeah? Then how come you don’t know my name is Anne R. effing Allen, dude? Jeez!
I really do think there’s a handbook. Or a course out there. One of those “Make a billion dollars a day with your blog” courses. It must them to do this stuff, because they seem to use very similar templates.
Lol Anne, I had to chuckle at #4! And how timely your post is, I have recently begun getting several of these strange requests to my writer email. It boggles my mind how people don’t even use a salutation, don’t bother looking up our name, start the email ‘ Hi, I really love your blog’. I just had one 5 minutes ago, telling me how they love my blog and would love to guest post because we write about the same things. This person AT LEAST included a website. Yes, a website about writing posts on the many ways to use a pressure cooker!!!! Are you kidding me?
I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings, but it’s becoming ridiculous with the amount of emails coming in, so I may just start deleting without replying anymore.
Great post as usual! Merry Christmas Anne. 🙂
Debby–HaHa!! A pressure cooker and writing for a living? maybe they ARE the same thing. That’s too funny! But it’s hilarious you just got one of those. People don’t believe this stuff is happening, but it’s an epidemic!! Thanks for sharing that one.
I send most into spam now, but you wouldn’t believe the number who come back and whine because I didn’t respond. Now you can just send them a link to this post!
Lol, now that’s a great idea, considering I have the link in draft because I fully intend to reblog this! And yes, I haven’t been left out of the whiner’s corner either. I had 2 this week writing me again REMINDING me that I have not responded to their first email. The nerve eh? LOL 🙂
Debby–It’s those “reminders” that drive me batty. They are what drove me to write this post. I was just dumping them all into spam, but the morons keep coming back, STILL refusing to look at the blog! Cooties!!
Debby–I got another one from the pressure cooker guy last night. So I sent him a link to this post. So this morning I got….three more copies of the same original email! Dude went to spam so fast! And of course there’s no way to unsubscribe him. What a Bozo.
‘Dear Allen, Im a big fan of your book review blog and I have a grate idea for a post I know your going to love….’
Seriously, though, Anne – how about we get bots which simply churn out robo-answers ourselves? I keep getting queries from people saying they love my blog but they’re looking for mentions which would be patently unsuitable given the tone of what I do. They sound so sincere, though, and are generally nice and polite about it, which means I can’t reply saying “Sweetie, if you’d ever read my blog in your life, you wouldn’t want me to touch your book with a bargepole”. I’m astounded sometimes at how often authors refuse to research their marketing targets properly. But some have told me to my face that they just don’t want to do it.
Tara–You’ve been hacking my email again haven’t you? Or should I call you Boris? Haha.
I’ve tried robo-answers and the morons write back as if they never got the reply.
I didn’t even mention the ones who want me to rewrite old posts to insert recommendations for their services or books. If I had a humor blog like yours, I might just take them up on it. Tark and Mara might just have to get a virus from their website or something. 🙂
Be careful what you wish for, Anne. If Tark and Mara get a virus, everyone’s going to want one. We could end up yearning for the spam of yore.
HaHa! 🙂 Eagerly awaiting the next Tark and Mara episode…
I cringed in horror throughout this entire article. People DO that? OMGosh. That’s like … like a telemarketer who wants to come to your house and sell his product from your front yard. No. Just … no.
Kessie–That’s exactly what it’s like! Great analogy! “Can I come to your house and put a billboard in your front yard? I won’t pay you or anything, but I promise to be really obnoxious!” What are they thinking?
So.
I’m invited to guest for a site that is just about not compatible with mine. (He’s an okay-with-f’ing-everything, world-famous, get-rich-quick, how-to-blog type and mine’s a literary/momblog.)
But I decide to accept the challenge and write within his guidelines, on his requested topic, which happens to be the one place our two worlds overlap. Writers write, right? I do a good job. His editor destroys it, complete with broken links and broken English.
Nevertheless, I garnered for him about 32 comments and a lot of fb shares. Not so much for me, at all. One, in fact.
Was it a mistake? Or just a fluke? Or a lesson learned? I feel as if it was almost the opposite of not querying correctly, and yet, I’m sensing there must be another rule book he’s been reading? And hoping there’s a link to a great ARA post on when and how to say “no” to the famous guys who invite you to guest post.
And I’ve had my share of the others. Seriously. I write for mommies. I get guys. All the time. :-
Home’s Cool–Interesting story! I’ve been invited by a few of these guys and turned them down because I only guest a few times a year. But I think they ARE the flip side of this same Bad Guest Blogger Handbook crowd.
They research bloggers by traffic rating alone, then try to get your traffic for their site, either by guest blogging for you, or getting you to guest blog for them. They don’t care what you blog about. They just want numbers.
Something I didn’t mention here is these “make a zillion dollars with your blog” guys (and they do mostly seem to be of the male persuasion) always have HUGE traffic stats. That’s because it’s all fake They buy “traffic” numbers from each other.
So your real traffic to his blog was probably then sold to some other blogger who then used it to convince some advertiser to pay him big bux to advertise on a site that actually has very little traffic.
…male persuasion… haha!
I’m going to chalk it up, then, to a learning experience, and keep writing? Yeah. Probably. 🙂
Thanks for your insite!
Home–I’m sure it didn’t do you any harm. Probably did some good. People like that SEO the heck out of their sites, so you probably raised your Google profile. As long as there’s a link to your blog, it’s all good. 🙂 Just not as much good as he promised.
I’m a newby and wouldn’t have the effrontery to approach anyone with a view to guest blogging as I don’t know enough to share. I just wanted to say that of the few blogs I have subscribed to (and am still reading) this is probably the most useful, and the one I always save to open, however full my inbox (mostly with spam). This one was an education. Hopefully one day I’ll have something worth sharing with others.
Cathi–Thanks much for the encouragement! We were all newbies once. I learned the ropes reading blogs too. Ruth and I always say we made the mistakes so you don’t have to. 🙂
I hate being out all afternoon on a Sunday. The Giants won and I couldn’t watch it live, plus I missed Anne’s weekly post. I’m not going to rank those two but it’s close.
The only thing I wish to add is that your section on having a big following reeled me in like a fish looking at a hook-free worm ad, so I clicked on Alexa for the first time in probably two years. Short Answer: Everything is in seven figures. But the silver lining: I improved nearly 7 million ranks in the last three months! Of course, I could do that AGAIN and still not be below 1 million… ah well. Fun just to read this blog, so I shall be satisfied.
Will–My post is “fresh” for a whole week. You had to watch the Giants live. Stale, DVR’d football is never the same. 🙂 You made the right decision.
Congrats on kicking some Alexa butt!! That’s huge. I’ve certainly noticed your blog on social media more often. Keep up the good work. It’s exactly the right kind of author blog to reach your readers and raise your profile.
Fabulous post – so funny and spot on.
I love the queries that come in addressing me as if my first and only name was “Blogger.”
Dear Blogger …
And the queries that arrive for genres I don’t represent.
And the queries that arrive when I’m closed to submissions.
And the queries that arrive late and panicked asking for coverage the next day. (Your emergency is not my emergency.)
And the queries that arrive asking not for editorial coverage but a sales ad promoting three days of a free download or a price drop to 99 cents. I’m not Freebooksy.
Thanks, Anne. Love your humor. Priceless advice.
Cheers!
Julie–I think book review bloggers probably get the worst queries of all. I get enough review requests (or should I say “demands”) and I’ve never ever run a review on this blog!
But authors do seem to get attacks of the crazies when it comes to reviews. They seem to feel entitled to them. And they seem to think if they don’t have 100’s they’ll never make a sale. (Not true. I’ve had bestsellers with only 12 reviews)
I love the expression “Your emergency is not my emergency”. I think I need to have it cross-stitched and framed on my wall. Thanks for that!!
Thanks for stopping by! Good to “hear” from you. I’ve been too crazy busy to visit many blogs this month.
Hi, Anne, and thanks so much for the shout out. I’m really looking forward to my Jan 22nd post on short memoir. Great post here as always. I’ve done quite a few guest posts for bloggers and have enjoyed them all. Mainly because it’s a chance for me to connect and talk with readers and other writers. There’s so much valuable info here. One of your bests. Though I could say that about all of them. And Ruth’s too. You are great pros and do so much for us. Happy Holidays your way. You deserve it. 🙂 Same to you, Ruth.
Paul
Paul–I look forward to your post on Jan 22! We have an exciting month coming up, with two book launches!
Your anthology EQUALITY is so moving! Just got my copy in the mail. What an accomplishment! And the book is beautiful
Vine Leaves Press did a fantastic job. I often suggest literary authors especially seek out a small press, and Vine Leaves looks like an excellent one. The book design inside and out is elegant. They’re also doing good advance publicity for pre-orders. I’m so honored to be included with all those big name authors.
Have a Happy Holiday Season!!
Hey, Anne, I love the way our book looks as well. And your essay is brilliant! Happy Hols. Paul
Even my itty bitty blog receives email queries to guest from strangers. Usually, it’s book promotion people who want me to review a book so obviously they haven’t visited my blog since I don’t do reviews. Or from fellow writers who want to post an excerpt which I also don’t do. I need to make a page like you have with rules.
Susan–Your “itty bitty” blog may be more successful than you think. 🙂 You’re probably listed somewhere as a book blogger. People don’t understand that not all book bloggers write reviews. And not all reviewers do the same stuff or review all genres. (In fact, very few do.)
I didn’t even know posting an excerpt was a thing. I should get out more. 🙂
Do make a page with rules. You can put them on your “contact me” page. Even though the clueless won’t read them, the mindful authors will, and it helps them a lot. I’m always so grateful when I find info and guidelines on an author blog.
Wonderful fun… for us, not you. But where’s that tab with porn that you promised??? Happy holidays to you and Ruth.
Ruth–Would you believe I got about ten of these guys this morning? I sent one a link to this blog. He sent me back four copies of his original email. SPAM!!
Sorry, no smut today. 🙂 Camilla does have to deal with quite a lot of it in her own polite way in Sherwood Ltd. The setting is based on my own experiences. Nothing funnier than polite British middle aged ladies in the office of a porn factory acting as if they’re selling widgets.
Thank you Anne for laying it out so well. Very important information..
Great post, Anne. Extra points for the phrase “condescension shows you’re a superior being.” Is there an LOL emoji on here?
Michael–We need a Snarkasaurus emoji. 🙂
Great post, Anne. Though it’s a bit mind-boggling that you actually need to say this, that it’s not obvious? Do you really get queries like your “How NOT to Query” example? I just find it hard to believe that some people can be that dense/oblivious…
On another note, I felt like I should tell you: I’ve been stalking this blog for a few years now. At least since before the move to self-hosting, though I’m not sure how long ago that was. Don’t worry, I’m not about to ask for a guest post spot. Yet 😛
I just think I’ve been silent for long enough. Even though we don’t write in the same genres (I’m a sci-fi/fantasy, mystery, and paranormal girl), I love your sense of humor and your posts. I feel like, “Finally! A reasonable human being! And on the internet! Who would have thought?” I think this blog was the very first writing blog I ever read and actually enjoyed, and I keep coming back for more. Keep up the great work!
Sarah–Thanks for delurking! We love to hear from our lurkers. (Most of our readers are lurkers, so that’s not to put the lurkers down. :-))
Yes, we get these queries every day. Some are even more clueless than my example. A lot are robot-generated or written by people whose first language is not English so they can be pretty comical. They are basically spammers who are looking for places to put links to porn and designer knock-offs. Those are easy to send to spam. But every single one claims to have read the blog and love it. It’s the lies that get to you. Grrr.
I have one I actually took seriously the first couple of times. He will ask permission to link to a post from his blog. So I write back and say, “Sure. All bloggers love backlinks that’s how Google finds us.” Then he starts a discussion about how “not all bloggers are as savvy as you.” Then he asks for me to rewrite old posts to recommend his services. I say I don’t do rewrites. But if I write on the subject again, I’ll consider adding his site.
Next month, he does the same thing, as if we’d never had the first conversation. So I reminded him and again told him he could post a link. Same conversation ensued.
This month when I got the same request for a link. I sent him to spam. He lost all chance of getting a mention.
Mass emails almost never work. Sigh.
It’s like they’ve forgotten the golden rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated. Well, I don’t like receiving spam. Why would I send it? I also don’t like being lied to, so why would I… You get the point.
My blog doesn’t have enough traffic to be earning spam messages yet, but I’ll probably work up to that. Yay (sarcasm). Thanks for making the unpleasant amusing, Anne. It’s a useful skill.
Unfortunately the predatory world of Internet commerce uses the rules of Internet Gaming. The Golden Rule doesn’t exist. Anyone who is not you is prey. It’s rather terrifying.
Seriously, I am going to make your advice MANDATORY reading for every author and publisher I know. Have a great New Year and looking forward to seeing more from you in 2017.
These requests–mostly spammy– do not bother me as much as people wanting me to read AN ENTIRE BOOK even though they have likely not a read a single article of mine.
Nina–I get plenty of those too. They want me to read their manuscripts and tell them if they are “any good” or “where to send them” or “give my honest opinion.”
Those are usually the beginners who don’t have a clue about the process of publishing. Mostly they’re just naive. I happen to have written a book that can help them a lot. It’s called “HOW TO BE A WRITER IN THE E-AGE”. I write back and suggest they buy it. Only about 10% of them do. So they want $1000s of free editing from me, but won’t spend $4 to buy my book.
Some won’t even bother to read the free information in this blog. They want me to cut and paste all the relevant posts into an email for them.
Those can be pretty irritating. Especially when they write back and call me “money grubbing” because I won’t give them 2 or 3 days of my time for free. Sigh.
thanks for the information