Book title generators because “A Christmas Carol” is taken
Titles.
The easiest part of the book to write. Right? All you have to do is pick, say, one to twelve words. Just make them clever, catchy, evocative, and a one-way ticket to making your book a block-busting bestseller. Easy!
I don’t know about you, but I hate trying to think of book titles for works-in-progress. It’s even less fun than hand-washing an angry marmoset, while listening to a four-year-old sing jazz at the top of their lungs.
In fact, I hate thinking of titles so much, I spend a huge amount of time thinking about them, always wondering why there isn’t some magic formula you could use to find a winning title for your book.
Well, as it so happens, there is, because I have made some genre-specific book title generators for all you lovely people out there to enjoy, so that you might at least get a bit of a laugh out of my titular issues.
After all, it’s Christmas. So with that in mind, we begin with the Christmas Book Title Generator. But remember, just like a puppy is not just for Christmas, book title generators are not just for books. They can also for the sort of movie you see at 3.00 a.m. on the 24-hour Christmas movie channel. Just think soft focus, sparklingly obvious romance, and the sort of ending that can give you serious indigestion.
Christmas Book Title Generator
All that sugar can result in a horrendous comedown.
For starters, perhaps you’ve spent far too much time this Christmas, cooped up in a house with seldom-seen relatives: perhaps there was an almighty argument regarding that incident with the mulled wine and the teacup pig; perhaps tough-as-nails former Police Chief, Aunt Ermintrude, finally let the cat out of the bag about what really happened in the Christmas of ’84, when Uncle Suggs disappeared, leaving behind only one bushy eyebrow, and a blood-stained handkerchief.
It might well be time for the Crime/Thriller Book Title Generator.
All you need is a name, and a hypothetical desire to invent interesting characters… before killing at least a few of them.
Or perhaps you have no intentions whatsoever of writing a book, but find yourself preoccupied almost hourly with schemes and plans for murder, mayhem and wildly inventive violence. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a title to go along with your plotting?
Crime/Thriller Book Title Generator
Oh, dear. Things got ugly there very quickly.
Indeed, by the time New Year’s Day rolls around, you might find yourself disturbed by the turn that humanity took in such a short space of time – from saccharine pretensions of peace, to an all-out assault on civilised kindness.
This might happen to coincide with your New Year’s resolution to make 2017 a year of resounding success, adulation, and prizes. But how to marry these two trains of deep, insightful thought?
A best-selling literary fiction book title ought to do the trick.
Sadly, you find yourself sometimes intimidated by literary fiction. At times, you feel Lit-Fic can be inaccessible and, well, trying just a bit TOO hard to be brainy. So it’s time to get your own back, by wielding your very own unique and personalised brainy book title from The Literary Fiction Book Title Generator (Genius Edition).
Wow your friends with the unlimited potential of the highbrow-sounding book you may never write!
Inspire the Intelligentsia with a novel title which is yards better than anything actually published!
Impress yourself with the sheer depth of unwritten fathomable truths behind your hypothetical work of literary brilliance!
Literary Fiction Book Title Generator
By now, you should be extremely proud of yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back, right there.
It’s time to capitalise on all that literary prowess and achievement. Because you’re famous! Congratulations!
You’ve spent years building up enough fans/cash/scandal/failed relationships/headlines/backhanders/gratuitous nudity, to be recognised on the street. Well done!
All you need is to bung out the first volume of your inspirational autobiography. After all, a few million in royalties will give you some extra pocket money, and your bad habits have been catching up with you a bit lately. There is also a teeny tiny chance you might be about to be indicted.
Then again, perhaps you’re not famous at all yet. Perhaps you’re sitting down right now in your PJs and bunny slippers; a huge hole in the pocket of your dressing gown. All the same, you’re imagining your autobiography, for, you know, when you are famous.
But what to call it? What do you call your life, ladies and gentlemen?
Let the Autobiography Book Title Generator put you out of your misery.
Autobiography Book Title Generator
Wow. You’ve been on an amazing journey. Cranially, you’re a bit worn out.
But now is no time to stop, because (in the northern hemisphere at least) we are moving into springtime. It’s time for a new and hopeful start. Grass is growing. Trees are budding. Birds are nesting.
More importantly, hormones are racing like hares, and publishers are straining at the leash to pander to the urges of their owners.
If only there were a foolproof way of getting that title for the chick-lit sensation of 2017; or indeed that romantic weepy, set to reduce a million readers to sobbing messes. If only you were first on the pastel carousel to ride the wave of overwhelming popular success, right through the summer. But how?
Never fear. The Chick-Lit Book Title Generator is here!
Chick-Lit Book Title Generator
That should be enough, I hope, to see you through the festive season.
I hope you have fun with these, and please remember: read instructions carefully. All book title generators must be taken with a pinch of salt.
Neither Tara nor Anne are liable for book titles which do not result in bestsellers and royalties worthy of a place in the annual Rich List. Book title generators are meant to be both fun and funny, and are not intended to replace the expertise or opinion of industry professionals.
Please contact Santa’s Complaint Helpline (1800-ITSA-JOKE) if you do not believe that your book titles are not good enough to be placed on the covers of actual books.
They say everybody has a book in them – well, they certainly have a title! What’s yours?
***
Tara’s list:
Christmas: Where Elves Might Rejoice
Crime: The Mortal Fissure
Literary: The Indubitable Torchlight Of Tuamgraney
Autobiography: TARA SPARLING: My Spirited Pilgrimage
Chick-Lit: Where Rainbows Might Speak
by Tara Sparling (@TaraSparling) December 11, 2016
Tara Sparling writes fiction and screenplays. Originally from the west of Ireland, she now lives in Dublin. Her blog explores bestselling book statistics and trends, literary and mathematical humour, along with traditional and self-publishing, marketing tips, bizarre success stories, and spectacular failures. In 2014 she won Best Newcomer in the Irish Blog Awards, and her fiction has also been shortlisted in several national competitions.
When she’s not writing, she has a very prim and proper day job all about numbers, but we don’t talk about that. Besides her blog, she can be found hiding (poorly) behind @TaraSparling on Twitter.
What about you, scriveners? What titles did you come up with? Have you ever wanted to write a Christmas book that might become a classic? What’s your favorite Christmas book?
For a more serious discussion of how to choose the right book title, see Anne’s post on 10 Tips for Choosing the Right Title for Your Book.
This week you can find Ruth at her book blog talking about her romantic novel set in Africa, A Kiss at Kihali, and a little orphaned rhino named Zuri.
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Thanks, Tara.
I try to use a line from my book and then research Amazon to make sure nobody else has taken it. Unfortunately, some of my best ideas have already been thought of by movie producers, musicians, or other authors.
I try to use lines from my book too, Kathy, but often find I’m the worst person to find them in the first place. Thankfully book titles aren’t copyrighted, or else these generators would be no fun at all!
OK, Tara, here are my titles. Now which should I start on first…
Christmas Book: IF SILVER BELLS CAN GLOW
Crime Thriller: THE SALT HOUSE
Lit Fic: THE INDECIPHERABLE WILTING OF MAYFLOWER HILL
Autobio: MY TREMENDOUS SPRING
Chick Lit: AND WISHES CAN HEAL
I think I’m going for the Lit Fic. I have to get something out of growing up on Mayflower Hill Drive. I feel the tragification coming on already….:-)
Ooh, I’m getting prize-winning tingles from Mayflower Hill already, Anne. It’s so intelligent, the reality show on my TV just switched itself off. I think you might be on a winner with your Christmas book too, though. Nobody’s done glowing bells before. They’re always just ringing and pealing. It’s high time they thought outside their (giftwrapped) box.
I need a science fiction book title generator! My publisher had to come up with two of my books’ titles. (Nothing more reassuring than sending in a manuscript with no title!)
Here’s one, Alex: http://www.kitt.net/php/title-scifi-fantasy.php
You’re absolutely right, Alex, we do need a proper sci-fi generator. And about title-less manuscripts. After all, what’s the first question anyone ever asks you when you’re writing a book? It’s always ‘what’s it called’, right – and when you don’t have a title they lose interest immediately!
Brilliant! Brilliant! Brilliant! Am extremely green that I didn’t think of this idea for a post (but in the nicest possible way.) bookmarking this, so I can return when I need a giggle. The Literary title generator had me snorting out my Kenyan AA (from now on, I my protagonist will only drink literary coffee – oh lordy. Just thought of a new post theme.)
I love that you’re returning for a giggle, Melodie, because I’m always afraid that these titles might return to haunt me some day, and not in a good way! I look forward to seeing all 5 of your generators, but especially your finished Lit-Fic tome. I think 307,000 words might just about fill it.
Ooooo, love this Tara and Anne. I’ve been playing with a Christmas-themed title, and the title gen offers so many ideas. Plus, it’s super fun to play with. Many thanks!
You’re more than welcome, Cat. Delighted you like them. Let us know if you score a hit!
Oh great, not enough work to do during the holidays. Now I have to spend hours trying to figure out what the hell happened to the first Six Informants! And THEN I’ll get a crime novel winner? Maybe I should have quit while I was behind- after all, it looks like my no-doubt-unauthorized autobiography is going to be about Talented Silence. My lovely wife might buy that one…
I LOVE your crime title, Will. It’s flying off the shelves already, and you haven’t even written it yet. As for your Talented Silence, I am so intrigued as to what you had to keep silent about so magnificently – until you finally decided to publish, that is – I may conceivably not be able to sleep before the rest of 2016. If you could drop me a line to let me know, or give me your lovely wife’s phone number, I’d be grateful.
Oh Tara, some of your replies are even funnier than the content itself. Thanks for the laughs. Now I have to think about exactly what it was about the Torchlight in Murray’s Bay that was so particularly Flawless. or maybe it was flawed after all.
Hmmm… my advice, Leo (seeing as you didn’t ask for it) would be to work out whether you’re using an unreliable narrator or not. That should clear up the flawed/flawless issue immediately. After that I’m afraid you’re on your own. Much as I appreciate your kind words, there are things about Murray’s Bay I can never reveal.
Hilarious! Just what I needed after 2016 up to this point,
I know what you mean. I’m the same. By the way, I’m sorry about the awful repetition in your Christmas title. Double Carols make neither of us look good!
Tara, what fun! I got to do this twice, since I’m adopted and have “two” names and birthdays: the day I was born and named by my birth mother, and the day I was adopted and named by my adoptive parents. So, here’s my rundown:
Adopted Me:
Christmas: Where Reindeer Could Twinkle
Crime: The Dead Alley (my mind is already whirling with that one!)
Literary: The Incandescent Communications of University Heights (More whirling! LOL)
Autobiography: My Inspired Quest
Chick-Lit: Where Promised Could Turn
Natural-born Me:
Christmas: If Carols Shall Glisten
Crime: The Voodoo Street
Literary: The Merry Provenance In Radcliffe Avenue
Autobiography: My Ultimate Measure
Chick-Lit: If Clouds Shall Lie (hmm, what kind of lies????)
Thanks for the smile and the fun!
Susan, I love the fact that your titles have a story even before they suggest another story. What a lovely way to be named – twice. I hope you have fun with writing all 10 of these books (no bother to you I’m sure!). I’m absolutely delighted that all 10 of them worked for you so whirlfully too!
Thanks for the titters & guffaws. My two favorite titles are The Merry Glassworks of Capsitrano & The Voodoo Cause.
Merry days to all.
And merry right back at you! Delighted to be involved in any guffawing. I hope the writing of these books causes even more guffaw action.
What great titled generators these were! And thanks for the links. I’ve bookmarked this post so that I can always find it. Have a great day. And have a great Christmas season.
I’m glad you enjoyed them, Elizabeth. Many thanks for all the good wishes. I’d like to return those good wishes and throw in a Happy New Year to you too. I know it’s only December 12th but I like to stay ahead of trend!
Ooh, I actually like my thriller title: The Shadow Station. I think it could be a dark sci fi.
Indeed it could, J’aime. That title could span a few genres, actually, including the under-served Light Crime (Trains) sector.
Oh, a person could have fun with those generators and make some ridiculous sounding titles. LOL
And that is your mission for the festive period, Patricia! Perhaps there should be a prize for the most ridiculous one that still somehow makes sense…
Loved this post. Since I’m a nonfiction/memoir writer I went with autobiography, and surprisingly got ‘Debby, My Everlasting Battle’, something to think about now. 🙂
I sincerely hope your battle isn’t everlasting, Debby! It’s a great title but I hope the battle is well won before Christmas and you get to relax in peace!
Thanks so much Tara, and lol. Wishing you Happy holidays too. 🙂
Mine are all either a little bit odd or a little bit bleh, although I quite like ‘The Assassin’s Informant’. The Flawless Dowager of… also caught my attention until I realised I moved house 15 times when I was growing up so the title would be extraordinarily and boringly long. And as I mentioned on your blog, ‘Liberty:My Beautiful Silence’ has already been written in all my empty notebooks. 😀
I’m really into the idea of a Flawless Dowager, Liberty. You could get to fill that gap in the market now that Downton’s gone. I don’t blame you for hesitating over the rest of the title, though. 15 times is a lot for any child to move, let alone a Flawless Dowager. Now you must go and fill those notebooks immediately!
Holiday sign for an outhouse door: “Where Elves Must Tinkle”
😉
Funny, odd, and oddly inspiring. Thank you!
Here are my titles:
Christmas: When Carols May Glitter
Crime/Thriller: The Voodoo Shot
Literary Fiction: The Merry Might in Main Street
Autobiography: Chloe Nguyen: My Ultimate Scandal
Chick-Lit: Why Clouds Must Open