First sentences from classic and contemporary literature analyzed.
by Ruth Harris
No matter what genre you write, your first sentence is a seduction. It can be in the form of an invitation. A declaration. A tease. A promise. A jolt. A shock.
You must be shameless and your first sentence must be irresistible. It must induce curiosity and promise the answer to an urgent question.
You must do whatever you can to lure your reader into the web you’ve woven by writing a sentence so provocative and so powerful that s/he is compelled to continue.
You’re the master of ceremonies and in your first sentence you must present yourself and your book with confidence and authority. If you’ve written a thriller, your first sentence must promise thrills. If you’ve written a romance, your first sentence must promise romance.
Just like a nothingburger cover or a meh blurb, a clunky or poorly-conceived first sentence that’s inconsistent with your genre, will turn readers off and cause them to skip your book.
Whether you’re writing fiction or non-fiction, romance or sci fi, a thriller or a mystery, the first sentence of your book must achieve one goal: compel the reader to read on.
Stephen King has said that he spends “months and years” creating that first line. He goes on to say: “An opening line should invite the reader to begin the story. It should say: Listen. Come in here. You want to know about this.”
The question is, how do we accomplish all this in one sentence? From Moby Dick’s “Call me Ishmael” to Charles Dickens’ “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” some first sentences have become famous classics. So, too, Jane Austen’s “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.”
A deeper look into the breadth of masterful first sentences offers a wide array of the ways writers draw readers into their stories and inspiring examples of how much information can be conveyed in a single sentence.
The First Person Introduction.
In a memoir or a novel written in the first person, the author puts himself in the mind of the central character and, in one way or another, tells us that we are about to get the real deal. No BS here, the sentence promises, just the honest, unvarnished truth about someone we want to know more about.
Sylvia Plath uses the first sentence of The Bell Jar, to establish the nervous, dark mood that hovers over the character and the story. Her story begins—
“It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn’t know what I was doing in New York.”
Plath’s use of the word electrocuted provides an unexpected jolt and mention of the Rosenbergs sets a time (June 1953). Sultry summer sets an uncomfortable season, New York establishes a place, and the final phrase conveys the uncertainty of a young woman struggling to find an identity and a place in life.
Vladimir Nabokov uses the first nine words of Lolita to convey the note of obsessive erotic desire that pulses through the entire novel.
“Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins.”
Nabokov begins by naming the object of his passion, the word light expresses her transformative influence on the narrator, the word loins promises that we will be reading a story about sex, and the repetition of the letter l creates the feeling of an incantation.
In Ghostwriters In The Sky, Book 1 of The Camilla Randall Mysteries, Anne uses her first sentence to introduce the MC, locate the place (the subway can only mean NYC), and refer to the season (sweaty indicates hot, most likely summer).
“The subway car was so crowded I couldn’t tell which one of the sweaty men pressing against me was attached to the hand now creeping up my thigh.”
The phrase “creeping up my thigh” indicates a level of unwanted personal attention which places the character in an uncomfortable, if rather ludicrous situation—a theme that will be repeated in different variations throughout the novel.
In Catcher In the Rye, J.D. Salinger uses an effective but contradictory combination of bravado and vulnerability to establish a unique voice as he introduces us to preppy Holden Caulfield.
“If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.
We read on because Salinger’s confessional tone makes us want to know more about his lousy childhood and find out why he doesn’t feel like going into it.
The Third Person Introduction.
In Goldfinger, Ian Fleming introduces 007 in the first sentence.
“James Bond, with two double bourbons inside him, sat in the final departure lounge of Miami airport and thought about life and death.”
Fleming has told us in only a few words that his MC is a drinking man, one who travels, and one who contemplates the larger questions of existence. Where, we wonder, is Bond going, what is he going to do once he gets there, and why does he need to down two double bourbons before he boards his flight?
In The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien simply tells us where his MC lives, but in such a startling way that we feel compelled to read on.
“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.”
A hobbit? A story about a creature who lives in a hole? Who or what is this hobbit and why does he live in a hole. Curious, we read on.
I introduce DeeDee Dahlen, the MC in Love And Money, Book 1 of the Park Avenue Series with a brief, declarative sentence.
“Her name was DeeDee Dahlen and she was famous from the day she was born.”
How can a newly-born infant be famous?, the reader wonders. What rewards—and penalties—does unasked-for celebrity impose? What secrets and scandal will shadow her future?—urgent questions that will reverberate throughout the entire novel.
Graham Greene, in Brighton Rock, compels us to want to know more.
“Hale knew, before he had been in Brighton three hours, that they meant to murder him.”
Who are the ‘they?’ we wonder. And what has Hale done? Why do ‘they’ want to kill him?
Gabriel Garcia Marquez begins One Hundred Years of Solitude with this famous sentence—
“Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.”
The author uses a shocking situation—a man facing a firing squad—plus a long-ago memory to pique our curiosity. Who is the Colonel and what had he done that he ends up facing a firing squad? What was there about the discovery of ice that it has lodged so forcefully in his memory? Compelling questions to which we must find the answer and, thus, we continue to read.
A Theme.
Whether classic literature, hard-boiled pulp fiction, or cyberpunk scifi, the first sentence establishes a theme that will continue throughout the story. If the book does not follow through on the promise of that first sentence, the disappointed reader will feel cheated.
In his first sentence, Leo Tolstoy in Anna Karenina tells us that we are about to read a story about an unhappy family.
“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
Why, we ask ourselves, are they unhappy? What has happened to them and what will they do? Powerful questions the reader wants answered.
James Matthew Barrie establishes the theme of Peter Pan with a brief, declarative statement.
“All children, except one, grow up.”
Which child, we wonder. Why not? And what will happen to a child who doesn’t grow up?
A far different theme is set by Franz Kafka in his posthumously published 1925 novel, The Trial.
Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything truly wrong, he was arrested.
Kafka’s first sentence thrusts us immediately into the MC’s waking nightmare of terror and paranoia that will be sustained throughout the story.
William Gibson’s Neuromancer was the first novel to win the Nebula Award, the Philip K. Dick Award, and the Hugo Award. The chilling first sentence, said to have been written at the last minute, sets the novel’s theme of a burnt-out computer hacker adrift in a dystopian near future governed by artificial intelligence.
“The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.”
Hunter S Thompson, starts his novel, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, by establishing a place, a mood, and a theme (a disenchanted retrospective look at the 1960s) in the first sentence.
“We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold.”
A Tease, a Shock, a Jolt.
A skillfully written first sentence containing a tease, a shock or a jolt can introduce a character, establish a tone or a setting, and dare the reader not to continue.
The first sentence of Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell’s dystopian novel, often considered one of the best one hundred books of the 20th Century, tells us immediately that something—time itself—is awry in a future world of Big Brother, doublethink and government surveillance.
“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.”
Joe Konrath pulls us right into the action in the first sentence of his mystery thriller, Dirty Martini, Book 4 of the Jacqueline “Jack” Daniels Mystery series.
“No security cameras this time, but he still has to be careful.”
What is he doing, we wonder? In his first sentence, Konrath lets us know that whatever it is, it’s something he’s done before. Something risky, perhaps dangerous, and, even though experienced, he still has to be careful. Of what? Of whom?
In his legal thriller, The Firm, John Grisham uses his first sentence to tell us that this unnamed and mysterious senior partner will indeed find something to dislike about Mitchell Y. McDeere who, the word résumé indicates, is being considered for a job.
“The senior partner studied the résumé for the hundredth time and again found nothing he disliked about Mitchell Y. McDeere, at least not on paper.”
What kind of job, we wonder, and what will the senior partner find to dislike? Grisham’s tease promises evil doings and the reader is lured on.
In L.A. Confidential, James Ellroy’s first sentence introduces a main character, sets a theme, and tells us exactly what we are about to read. Ellroy uses a knowledgable tone and vernacular language to let us know that he knows what he’s talking about.
“An abandoned auto court in the San Berdoo foothills; Buzz Meeks checked in with ninety-four thousand dollars, eighteen pounds of high-grade heroin, a 10-gauge pump, a .38 special, a .45 automatic, and a switchblade he’d bought off a pachuco at the border—right before he spotted the car parked across the line: Mickey Cohen goons in an LAPD unmarked, Tijuana cops standing by to bootsack his goodies, dump his body in the San Ysidro River.”
Dennis Lehane, in his short story, Until Gwen pulls us in with the use of the second person combined with the promise of drugs and sex.
“Your father picks you up from prison in a stolen Dodge Neon, with an 8-ball of coke in the glove compartment and a hooker named Mandy in the back seat.”
The Rule Breakers.
Although writers are often cautioned about starting a book with a character’s dream, that rule was effectively broken in the classic first sentence of Daphne DuMaurier’s famous gothic mystery, Rebecca.
“Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.”
Marie Force begins her Gansett Island romance, Meant For Love, with a reference to a dream.
“The dream was always the same, the last perfect moment before life as Jenny Wilks knew it changed forever.”
Both dreams refer to emotionally significant aspects of the characters’ pasts. The reader wonders why the unidentified first-person narrator of Rebecca dreams of a place and Jenny Wilks of a “perfect” life now gone forever. The authors use dreams to provoke interest in their characters and in the events of the story to come.
The passive tense is usually considered to be another no-no. Charles McCarry, in TheTears Of Autumn,considered to be one of the best espionage thrillers of the 20th Century, uses the passive tense to introduce American intelligence officer, Paul Christopher, who is investigating the assassination of John F. Kennedy.
“Paul Christopher had been loved by two women who could not understand why he had stopped writing poetry.”
McCarry’s elegant use of the passive tense to introduce his MC sets the theme of the book: an exploration of glittering promise that results in the wreckage of unintended consequences—the end of poetry and the end of Camelot.
Your first sentence is your opportunity to let your creativity shine. Whether you decide to go for a tease or a jolt, a theme or a rule breaker, a first person or third person introduction, remember what Mom always said: You never have a second chance to make a first impression.
For more info on beginnings, Anne and I have both opined about first chapters. For Anne’s take. For Ruth’s take.
by Ruth Harris (@RuthHarrisBooks) April 29, 2018
What about you, scriveners? Do you have a favorite first line? Do you find your first line hard to write? (I usually write mine last.) Do you have a dynamite first line for a book you haven’t written yet?
This week Anne is Poisoning People for Fun and Profit again. This time she’s talking about Gelsemium, a pretty plant that may be growing in your own backyard. And is so deadly it’s the drug of choice of many professional assassins. It also nearly killed Arthur Conan Doyle.
BOOK OF THE WEEK
OPPORTUNITY ALERTS
Central Coasters: Don’t miss the “Writers in Action: From Idea to Publication” Workshop on May 19th! 1-day workshop by Sisters in Crime, Central Coast at the PG&E Energy Center in San Luis Obispo. Should be a lot of fun. Here’s a link to the application form and lunch menu.
Red Hen Press annual Nonfiction Contest. $25 entry FEE. $1,000 prize and publication by the prestigious Red Hen Press. They’re looking for an essay collection, memoir, or book of narrative nonfiction. Florencia Ramirez will judge. Using the online submission system, submit a manuscript of at least 150 pages. Deadline April 30
CRAFT Literary Short Story contest. $20 FEE. Short fiction up to 6000 words. $2000 first prize; the two runners-up will receive $500 and $300, respectively. plus publication in CRAFT Literary Magazine. Deadline April 30th.
Mad Scientist Journal: Battling in All Her Finery. Genre: Speculative fiction stories about women leaders in any field. Payment: 2 cents/word. Deadline: April 30, 2018.
13 Imprints of Big 5 publishers who take unagented submissions. From the good people at Authors Publish Magazine.
Supernatural Fiction Award: $1000 prize + publication in The Ghost Story magazine. Not just ghost stories. Any paranormal story welcome. 1500-10,000 words $20 entry fee. Deadline April 30th.
Prophecy Creek Book Award for Speculative Fiction. Prize $1,000 and publication by Hidden River Publishing. Any length novel that includes elements of science fiction, supernatural fiction, or fantasy. $22 fee. Deadline May 15.
Smokelong Quarterly Flash Fiction contest. $13 Fee. Under 1000 words. Nominates for Pushcart. Must never have been published (including on blogs.) $1500 prize plus publication. Runner-up prizes, too. Deadline May 20th.
Nowhere Spring Travel Writing Contest $10 Fee. 800-5000 words showing a powerful sense of place: Fiction or nonfiction. Previous publication okay. $1000 prize plus publication in Nowhere magazine. Deadline May 31st
I didn’t fully appreciate the importance of the first line until after my first book. I am proud of the first lines of the next three books, especially the two that say so much about the character.
Those are excellent examples and a good breakdown as to why they work. Knowing that is half the struggle.
Alex—Thanks! Congratulations on your quality first lines….knowing what and where the target is makes it so much easier to score!
Couldn’t agree more Ruth, and it’s one of my favorite topics to cover with aspiring authors on the library-circuit. It’s one of those things a newish writer hasn’t truly considered, but they light up when you show examples like these gems (we overlap with several!). I would suggest there’s also the out-and-out lunatic opening to consider, like Ian Banks who set the bar pretty high with his opening to “The Crow Road” (1992):
“It was the day my grandmother exploded.”
Tell me who’s going to put that one back on the rack!
Will—Love the Ian Banks first line. Thanks for the great addition!
Excellent! I particularly like the constellation of 1st person examples: Plath, Nabokov, Salinger, & Allen! Well-chosen, indeed. And, as I am big-idea person more than an analytical person, I love seeing these split into categories — I simply wouldn’t think to do that to these fine examples, but it helps me conceptualize it all. Thanks again.
CS—Thanks and happy to hear my category breakdown helped. There are infinite ways to write a great first sentence!
I love the topic you chose for today, Ruth, and the way you take a close, illuminating look at each one. Thanks so much for the insight.
I think you had one or two short story first lines in the mix, and I’m glad for that.(I write short stories.) I think an awesome first line is every bit as important in short stories. (Last line too.)
Tolstoy’s Anna Kerenina first line is also an example of what I think has the potential to be powerful: A truism, or a simple philosophical (sort of) statement. He certainly nails it with this one!
An article on great last lines would be a fascinating complement to this one.
Tricia—thanks! Yes, the Dennis Lehane first sentence was from a short story. First sentences matter!
My favourite opening line is from J.G. Ballard’s ‘High-Rise’:
“Later, as he sat on his balcony eating the dog, Dr Robert Laing reflected on the unusual events that had taken place within this huge apartment building during the previous three months.”
It sets tone, character, place…and the opportunity to decline an invitation to proceed.
Patricia—that’s just great! Thanks!
I used my favorite first line in an email signature that earned me a visit from the President of the college; he never made me take it down, but I knew somebody had asked about it nonetheless. From James Crumley’s Last Good Kiss: “When I finally caught up with Abraham Trahearne, he was drinking beer with an alcoholic bulldog named Fireball Roberts in a ramshackle joint just outside of Sonoma, California, drinking the heart right out of a fine spring afternoon.” I can smell that wasted, lost afternoon, I know the likes of Abraham Trahearne right up front, and one day I’m going to name my new bulldog Fireball Roberts.
Ruthie—thanks for another fabulous first line! Wonder if anyone would name a kitten Fireball Roberts? Nah, don’t think so. 😉
Sorry to be picky, but there are two typos in this article…which, by the way, is great. This a wonderful collection of first lines, some of which I’ve never seen before.
‘auto court’, I think, rather than ‘auto cout’ – although maybe this is a type of area I’ve not come across before!
And Mr Grisham gets spelt as Grosham at one point….
Mcrow—Thanks for your eagle eye! I wondered about “cout” but that’s how it came up in my research so I decided to go with it. Maybe a regionalism? Grissom is just a plain vanilla typo. (As I type this, tho, autocorrect turns it into Grissom.) lol
This is such a great post. I love to look at the first line of a book. It really does either pull you in … or not. I really liked ““All children, except one, grow up.” I’ve never read the book. Maybe now I will. I always try to write a first line or at least the first few lines in a way that the reader will wonder what’s going to happen next and what’s going on.
Thanks for this.
Patricia—thanks for the kind words. First lines are well worth the effort.:)
First lines are tough and hard to make appealing to a large group of people–even within our own genres.
One I like is:
This is the way the world ends – not with a band or a whimper, but with zombies breaking down the back door. – Hollowland by Amanda Hocking
I love the call back to Eliot with a fantasy twist.
HR—thanks for another good example and fine analysis!
Thanks so much for this insightful look into first lines, Ruth. A good reminder to go over some of my old favs and revisit first lines in particular. 🙂
Dg—appreciate your kind words. Have fun with your old faves!
Thanks for this article! I was inspired to re-check out some first lines. I’m pretty happy with the first lines of my two fantasy novels…the second one took a long time. The whole first chapter and especially the first paragraph went through a dozen false starts before I managed to like one I tried. But the first line of Stephen King’s “The Gunslinger” is wonderful–and it must be, as it begins not only a novel, but an epic seven-book series. The line: “The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.”
Fred—*only* a dozen tries? Wow! Speedy. ;-). Thanks for the excellent Stephen King addition. Much appreciated!
Not really speedy. I had it published about twenty-two years after I finished the first draft.
I’m finishing a paranormal romance and beginning a fantasy series. Thanks to your article I re-examined, and changed, the first sentence of each one. And of course I may do so again before I’m finished.
My thanks to you and Anne both for all these great helpful blogs.
Wow, those are some great first lines. I’ve always found first lines hard to write and this post has really motivated me to make sure the promise I’m making to my audience is there inside it.
One of my favorite first lines is from the manga Fullmetal Alchemist (English Translation):
“Teachings that do not speak of pain have no meaning…for humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return.”
Amy—happy to hear the post helped. 🙂 thanks,too, for the excellent addition to our first lines!
I often write my first lines after the first draft. Rather, I should say, I “rewrite” my first line a gazillion times after the first draft. Great post, Ruth. Thanks for the inspiration!
Sue—yes! It’s not the writing. It’s the rewriting. + the revisions. Facts of life! 😉
I love, love, love first sentences. I’ve written hundreds of them! If only I had completed stories to go with all with my first lines….heavy sigh. Enjoyed the post.
Tammy—ditto and thanks. Maybe find the love for second sentences? 😉
A great article, Anne.
Robbie–The thanks go entirely to Ruth. Not only did she write the piece. but she chose the image this time too. I thought it was perfect!
Robbie—glad to learn you enjoyed the post!
3 greatest are from Moby Dick, Old Man and Sea and Tale of 2 Cities. Oh, and that “In the beginning…” one is pretty famous too.
Carl—thanks for the suggestions. We should also add “once upon a time.” 🙂
Yes, of course !
Fredwaiss—22 years? Definitely not speedy! I stand corrected. 🙂 Pleased to learn the post encouraged you to go back and review your first lines. Anne and I work with the goal of helping writers avoid the mistakes we made!
Great post, thanks! It was a dark and stormy night…?????
M. L.—Perfecto! A truly worthy addition! 🙂
Great article Ruth! I have a harder time with LAST lines but reading this reminded me of an unread book I peeked at while unpacking last week that made me want to sit in the pile boxes to keep reading:
“Even before I push the fucking door open I know.” First line of IN SIGHT OF THE STARS by Gae Polisner.
I’m a little envious of that opening…
Eldonna—Thanks. 🙂 Thanks, too, for adding another great first sentence!
What a fun post – and great comments with more first lines – love it! Thanks for this.
My favorite for description is from IN COLD BLOOD by Truman Capote because of the contrast with the title:
“The village of Holcomb stands on the high wheat plains of western Kansas, a lonesome area that other Kansans call ‘out there.’ ”
and my favorite for ‘you had me at the first line’ (technically, 3 sentences, they could have been separated by commas… but it would change the rhythm) still, it got me and I read this one, then pretty much all his other books in a 2-month binge. It’s in STRAIGHT by Dick Francis:
“I inherited my brother’s life. Inherited his desk, his business, his gadgets, his enemies, his horses and his mistress. I inherited my brother’s life, and it nearly killed me.”
Msmartha—Thanks for the kind words—and for two great suggestions! I recall a lengthy dick Francis binge, too. 🙂
I don’t have a favorite first line, sorry! I opened an email from you and saw this as title as one of your previous posts and was intrigued. Fantastic post! I’m starting my new WIP today and you’ve inspired me to nail down that first line of my WIP. Thanks!
Fiona—Ruth Harris here. Glad you enjoyed the post! Even happier to learn it was inspiring. Good luck with your great first sentence!
“If there were a way, if I could, I would write this book in sign language.”
Ruth Sidranski’s first line in her memoir entitled In Silence.
Katherine—excellent! Thank you.
I read and try to write romance. This is my favorite opening line from a romance novel, The Best Man by Kristan Higgins:
“On a beautiful day in June, in front of literally half the town, wearing a wedding dress that made her look like Cinderella and holding a bouquet of perfect pink roses, Faith Elizabeth Holland was left at the altar.”
It was my first book by Kristan Higgins, but I can assure you it wasn’t my last!
Dena Jo—Wonderful! Thanks for a great addition to the list of compelling first lines. Appreciated! 🙂
First lines–yes! I waffled when I started to write my first book. (A fantasy novel based on a D&D scenario I wrote.) I decided to self-publish it after an agent who had taken me on tried to get me to publish with a publisher who asked for a lot of money. At least it was a lot to me.
I was proud of that book, but it took far too long to get to the story proper. I wrote part 2 of the series and published it. Then I found a publisher for my next book, who wanted to take on my previously published books, so I took the opportunity of rewriting the beginning. I cut at least the first 4 chapters and began where the protagonist and his friends were given their quest. A much better beginning,I think.
V.M.—Thanks for the great comment! Sounds like you’re on the right track by cutting your early chapters and starting with the quest. And yes, indeed, sometimes getting a book right does take “too long.” Frustrating but worth it!
so I wrote a first paragraph and I was hoping that someone might help me with critiquing it “You know that every time I peek my head through this window and see the tower, my heart fills with uneasiness, how it pokes into the sky here in Paris and is quite the centerpiece in the culture. Of course, I was talking about the Eiffel tower, the looming feeling I get measures to about the amount you get when you see the corpse of a person next to a puddle of blood with a 15mm Occitane Pistol floating along slowly to a sewer pipe. When you know whatever caused it can just peek out and get you too, slide its fingers along the side of the trigger, and in seconds your years of life have come to an end. ” by the way, Occitane is a region in France, in the book I am writing it also holds a secret underground gun producing factory.
Noah—Thanks for taking the time to comment. Anne and I do not offer critique services, but wish you the best of luck with your book.
Here’s the first sentence of my second novel, plus the short one that follows:
“Who was that,” Greg asked as he and Josie drove home from the folk dance, “the fiddler, singing, at the end? You know him?”
Jealousy tainted his question.
It seems to set up the emotional tension that permeates the book.