Beware plot and pot holes in your fiction!
by Ruth Harris
We all come face to face with them, those pesky glitches, oopsies, OMGs and WTFs that ruin a story, turn a reader off, guarantee a slew of one-star reviews—and kill sales.
Beta readers will often point them out. Editors are professional fixers, always on the lookout for booboos. You will realize them yourself when you wake up at 3AM sudden realizing that the MC’s beloved pet who started out as a friendly, tail-wagging Golden Retriever, has somehow become a snarling, saber-toothed attack dog.
These unforced errors range from plot holes, small and economy-size, to lapses in logic. They also include poorly conceived characters, blah settings, pointless dialogue, and momentum-killing info dumps. Even a few will make your book—and you—look like a loser on amateur night.
You need to find them—and fix them—before readers do.
1. Lapses in logic.
Your MC is stranded on a dry planet in a far galaxy but when the villain suddenly appears bent on revenge and brandishing a nuclear ray gun, said villain falls into a deep puddle and drowns.
Your cute, adorable if somewhat ditzy heroine is a lousy, horrible, terrible cook. The reader falls in love with her—until she cooks a four course gourmet dinner for her hunky new boyfriend.
Your MC has just broken her leg and is lying helpless in the middle of the road waiting for an ambulance but suddenly gets up and kicks the you-know-what out of her antoganist. Uh. Really?
“&$#%!!?” thinks your reader as s/he throws your book across the room.
The fix.
In cases like this, the lapse is the result of inadvertantly omitting the necessary set up. Go back several scenes and let your reader know that—
The dry planet in a far galaxy experienced a once-in-a-century-torrential rainstorm. Residual puddles, deep and dangerous, lurk and your villain, who we now know is color blind, thanks to your new, artful set up, does not see the beautiful, shimmering but deep and dangerous turquoise blue water.
Oh, and did Ms. Ditzy, win a course with Monsieur Master Chef in a cute and adorable contest? If you go back and insert such a scene, why, yes, of course she did. Got at A+, too!
Your MC thinks quickly and, despite being in excruciating pain, fashions a splint out of a nearby fallen branch, thus allowing him or her to get up and kick the bleep out of the antagonist. That is one MC not to be messed with!
2. Mean girls (and boys).
Your heroine, Sally, is madly in love but falls even mad-lier in love when a handsomer, richer, sexier, guy comes along and catches her eye (plus other parts of her anatomy).
Could be the basis of a suspenseful/comic/sad situation, but if bf #1 is never mentioned again, if Sally never gives him another thought, or never has even a transient moment of regret or what-if, you’ve got a heroine so self-centered and maybe even narcissistic that no reader can relate.
Not just girls, either. Just read the headlines to find plenty of examples of guys who are far less than stellar. You really expect a reader to stay with this kind of guy for very long? Their wives divorce them, their girl friends dump them and so should you.
The fix.
Check your characters for basic decency or, in extreme cases, mental health, but don’t forget that even villains must have a redeeming quality.
3. Info dumps.
Blah,blah, blah. And then this happened and after a while that happened. Blah,blah, blah. Then they went from here to there and that’s why blah blah blah.
Info dumps stop the plot in its tracks. They are boring to read and, in fact, boring to write. Readers hate them and writers should, too.
You should be on info dump alert whenever you review your manuscript and see long, dense grey blocks of text or lengthy paragraphs of narrative. You should also pay attention whenever you bore yourself writing. Trust me, it happens. 😉
The fix.
Serve in bite-size pieces. Instead of one long, boring info dump, create several interesting scenes sprinkled throughout the book that convey the needed information in an interesting, provocative, dramatic, suspenseful way.
Speaking of boring—
4. Do nothing, go nowhere dialogue.
“Hi, George.”
“Hi, Bill.”
“Nice day.”
“Yeah.”
“What’s up?”
“Not much. Bought new windshield wipers for the car. You?”
“Just got back from the dentist.”
Bored, aren’t you? Just imagine your poor, defenseless reader.
The fix.
Ye olde trusty delete button. (This is a great place to use the kind of indirect dialogue I talked about earlier this month…Anne. 🙂 )
Or, if you absolutely positively need to have Bill and George meet, you need to give us a reason and make the encounter riveting. Bill is dating George’s ex and wants to warn him that she is Very Bad News? They’re competing for the same job and are secretly sticking the shiv in each other? They’re on the same Seal Team and are joining up to assassinate the world’s worst Bad Guy?
5. Where are we?
Your MC goes on a Caribbean vacation but, after enjoying a rum punch on a terrace overlooking a crescent of white beach, opens a suitcase containing a wardrobe better suited for the slopes of Vermont. Because you began with the idea of a sexy ski holiday, but changed your mind in mid-manuscript when a YouTube video of white sands and turquoise water beckoned?
The fix.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas and, in fiction, a scene that starts in the Caribbean ends in the Caribbean. Your MC can go to Vermont next week.
And don’t forget—
- Your MC is swanning around in a Chicago penthouse in Chapter 1. In Chapter 4 s/he is homeless and living in a dumpster. In January. And not in Australia, either, where January is summer. Let’s keep it in the Northern Hemisphere and explain what happened.
Besides—
A scene that starts in the kitchen ends in the kitchen. Unless you tell the reader why the characters are suddenly in the basement of a haunted house. Here’s where a transition sentence or, even better, a scene break is essential.
A scene that begins on the phone ends on the phone and, by the way, unless they’re on Skype, characters on the phone cannot see each other. They can hear each other shout, whisper, or coo sweet nothings, but they cannot see raised eyebrows, reddened faces or piercing green eyes.
PS: How do I know? Been there, done that, and not so long ago, either. 😉
6. Huh? (It’s called continuity in the movies.)
Movie fans love to point out bloopers like this. Book readers will notice,too.
- A blue eyed demon when introduced. Brown eyed devil half a dozen chapters later.
- MC works in Starbucks. She’s there every day. We never see her anywhere else. She’s a World Class barista. Then why is she suddenly a new hire in the electronics section at Best Buy where her boss is chasing her around the displays of headphones, routers, and TVs?
- Chase scene starts with the guy in a Ferrari and the gal in a junker. Ends with her in the Ferrari and him in the junker. Huh? How come? Wha happened?
The fix.
Your style sheet to the rescue.
What’s a style sheet?
Funny you should ask. Here’s where Ruth tells All.
7. Dropped subplots.
Self explanatory: A character or situation is abandoned or left dangling in space.
Jane and Jake, your MC’s sister and best friend, hate each other but, against all odds, on one dark night, they share a sizzling hot kiss. Then what happens?
They fall in love and live happily ever after? They join opposing intelligence services and swear eternal vengeance? The next morning, they shrug, say meh and mark it down to too much craft beer? Or do they make plans for a second date?
We last saw Jim when his car was skidding out of control on an icy mountain road in Alaska as he is escaping the evil clutches of Mr. Nasty. The car lurches wildly, careens over a cliff. Then what happens?
Jim’s amazing driving ability allows him to right the car before it crashes? Or it doesn’t and the car is totaled but Jim is rescued by friendly locals? Or are they maybe not so friendly? And, by the way, it’s not a dream. It’s a real situation and Jim absolutely has to get out of it.
Do NOT leave your reader in the lurch, wondering what happens next.
The fix.
Complete the arc and let the reader know!
However, if we’re talking about minor characters like Jane and Jake, go to the nuclear option and delete. (Keep the kiss in a Future File. Might make a good short story or even morph into another scene in another book.)
8. TDTL: Too Dumb To Live
The detective who sees Mary Z. with a bloody axe leave a murder scene but never suspects Mary Z is the killer.
The wife who finds lipstick on her husband’s tighty whiteys but believes his obviously ridiculous story about working late reprogramming a malfunctioning robot.
The superhero who can fly over the tallest buildings but is such a klutz s/he can’t get up the stairs to save The Love Of His/Her Life from the dastardly villain.
How do characters like this remember to breathe?
Readers will not care.
The fix:
Please, do yourself (and your character) a favor, and give him or her an IQ over room temp.
by Ruth Harris (@RuthHarrisBooks) February 25, 2018
What about you, scriveners? Does your plot have holes? Or continuity issues? Does your WIP need some road repair? Which of these problems are you most likely to fall into?
Anne is poisoning people again over at her book blog. This month she’s talking about mercury poisoning.
BOOK OF THE WEEK
The NYT bestseller is now absolutely FREE!
“A SPECTACULAR, RICHLY PLOTTED NOVEL. Racing to a shocking climax, this glittering novel is first-class entertainment, a story of love and money, and how both are made, lost, and found again.” ...New York Times
DECADES (Park Avenue Series, Book #1)
Available at All the Amazons
OPPORTUNITY ALERTS
EVERYTHING CHANGE CLIMATE FICTION CONTEST NO ENTRY FEE. Submit one piece of fiction up to 5,000 words using the impact of climate change as an element of your story. The winning story will receive a $1000 prize, and nine finalists will receive $50 prizes. Also, there will be an anthology of selected winners. The contest sponsor is the Imagination and Climate Futures Initiative at Arizona State University. Deadline February 28.
The Nelligan Prize. $2000 first prize for a literary short story, any length. Plus publication in the Colorado Review. Must be previously unpublished. Fee $15. Deadline March 14th
75 Words Flash Fiction Contest from FanStory. Write a flash fiction story that uses 75 words. Write a story (any topic) using exactly 75 words. Title does not count towards the word count. Enter for your chance at a cash prize. Deadline: Mar 18th
Eludia Award for a Novel or Story Collection Contest from Women Writers Over 40! $1,000 and publication by Sowilo Press is given annually for a novel or story collection by a woman writer over the age of 40. Using the online submission system, submit a manuscript of any length with a $30 entry fee by March 15
Red Hen Press annual Nonfiction Contest. $1,000 prize and publication by the prestigious Red Hen Press. They’re looking for an essay collection, memoir, or book of narrative nonfiction. Florencia Ramirez will judge. Using the online submission system, submit a manuscript of at least 150 pages with a $25 entry fee. Deadline April 30
Wergle Flomp Humorous Poetry Contest NO FEE. The First prize is $1,000 and there’s a second prize of $250. Also 10 Honorable Mentions will receive $100 each. The top 12 entries get published online. Judge: Jendi Reiter, assisted by Lauren Singer. Length limit: 250 lines. And there are no restrictions on age or country. DEADLINE APRIL 1st
Write Romance? Harlequin Romance (HQN) takes unagented submissions (via Submittable) for Romantic Suspense, Historical, Medical, and many other subgenres. Check out Harlequin’s guidelines here.
Thanks for another grand pile of advice. I must admit that my favorite is, “You really expect a reader to stay with this kind of guy for very long? Their wives divorce them, their girl friends dump them and so should you.”
Ain’t that the truth.
CS—LOL and thanks!
Excellent reminders, Anne. And such beautifully simple fixes. The thing is to catch’m so you can fix’m!
Tricia—Ruth here saying thanks!
I’m going to have to disagree with #7 on nuking the minor subplots. I’m taking a secondary plots workshop, and am studying a lot of books for their subplots. Even though a subplot may be with relatively minor characters, it may have importance and give the reader information the main character doesn’t know. Too often, we’re told to delete what’s unnecessary and take what’s actually really kind of important. I always thought a subplot had to be this separate element, not something that’s maybe one or two scenes and resolves itself.
Linda—#7 presents alternatives for different situations. Nuke em if they are minor/irrelevant. Otherwise, subplots can be valuable if, as you say, they add info. However, in those instances, the arc needs to be completed.
Always great information.
D. J.—Thanks! Hope it helped.
Too dumb to live happens so often in horror and other movies. Drives me crazy.
I consider a plot contrivance just as much of a plot hole, or at the very least really lazy writing.
Alex—Good point about plot contrivance. Thanks! Also agree about TDTL. Why *do* they go down into that dark, dank, creepy cellar where they *know* Bad Things Happen?
So sorry, Ruth! Btw, I hopped over to your herein linked article about style sheets, and I highly recommend it! It has some real jewels.
Tricia—No problema! Thanks for your kind words about style sheets. Essential for every author. Saves so much time and aggro.
We call it TSTL (too stupid to live) in the romance world, and SO many heroines fall into this category! My favorite is the gal who walks into a deserted warehouse to confront the killer ALL BY HERSELF. Yup, I’m all for ‘isolate the protagonist’ but come on! Nobody but an idiot would accuse a murderer of murdering when you’re all alone with said killer. What does she think he’s going to do? Give her a candy?
Sorry…got carried away with my own personal peeve. Good post, Ruth! (as always)
Melodie—Nah. She thinks he’ll take one look at her, realize that LOVE is The Answer, and all will be well. 😉
This is a great post. I’ll never forget the time I wrote that my MC drove off to pick up her young son at school. My editor pointed out that the baby was still asleep upstairs. I had totally forgotten about the infant. Then I had another scene where the MC buys a special Xmas gift for her boyfriend and then gives it to him but they start talking about stuff and he never opens the gift. My sister read the book after it was published and asked me if he liked the gift. After re-reading the scene for the millionth time, I realized I’d forgotten to add his reaction to opening the gift. And two editors didn’t catch this faux pas either!
Patricia—Thanks for sharing some great examples. Two editors + a sister? Scary, isn’t it? Yikes!
Thanks for the great advice. You and Anne always come through!
Christine—thanks! We do try. 🙂
Wonderful advice as always! Gonna have to deal with #7 a lot as I revise – when drafting, I tend to include all the subplots as they come to me, and see which ones I want to pick up later. It’s very helpful as I’m coming up with the story (hmm… could use a secondary villain here… oh wait, there was a disgruntled rival 200 pages ago, I’ll use him!). But yeah, lots of it will end up on the cutting room floor.
Irvin—Oh, yeah! Disgruntled Rival is perfect. Also a great example of how our unconscious is our best friend: the DR was already there, just waiting for you. He was a gift you gave yourself.
Some great LOLs here Ruth. But great advice! Some of these are too easy to happen when on a writing tangent. Style sheet to the rescue indeed! 🙂
Ha! A very fun (and educational) post!
Thank you 🙂
Excellent post, as always, Ruth! My alter-ego, the developmental editor, wishes she could say none of these *alerts* pop up. Unfortunately, more than one is often encountered — with #1, 3 and 6 being the top contenders. And it seems that the draft stage contributes to these problems.
I regularly urge authors to read their manuscript, then read it again, and again! Read each scene. Determine if it does what it needs to do or they want it to do. Keep a bucket of steaming asphalt at the ready — and a trowel…
This is a cut, stick-on-wall article! :O)
Thanks for sharing and reminding us of these story-killers.
Maria D’Marco
Maria—Thanks! Love your image of steaming asphalt and a trowel. Need to be kept right next to/under our desks. 😉
I had one of those moments in my paranormal novel (still looking for publication). I wrote a scene where the villain–a Lord and cabinet Minister–rushes through the Royal Residence and past the royal security force, sword in hand, to duel the hero. Then I realized no security force would allow such a thing. So I had to relocate the duel, and then go back and rewrite the scene where a character gifted with precognition predicts the scene of the duel.
I’ve always hated reading or watching holes like that, so I’m very careful to make sue they don’t creep in to my fiction.
Fred—Thanks for sharing a great example of the kind of plot/pot hole writers need to look out for—and then correct!
Really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for the good advice.
Paula—Thanks for the kind words. Glad to hear you enjoyed it! 🙂
Loved the style sheets. I will make one. Bought your book by browsing around. I’m a fellow boomer starting to write fiction at 70+, retired, math teacher, widow, grandma, ggma (great grandma), what an interesting life I’ve had. On to new adventures and fun. I’m writing a not so cozy mystery takes place in Northern AZ. I’ve written millions of words but all academic, newspaper, or technical. I’m used to MLA and APA (dissertation-and other happy rot). Editor wants Chicago Manual of Style, had to buy the honker manual. Some interesting differences. Plus Word hates Arizona cultural names. I’m making up my own Arizona dictionary. For example, chilli, note this word is red penciled, chimichanga, frybread, crown dancer, and more. Lots of Spanish, and Native American spelling. Think I’ll include the Arizona dictionary in the back of my book. I read Bessie mystery series, takes place on the isle of Man, a Manx dictionary, was included. Loved it and the series. Can’t wait to read your book. Just like Christmas,.keep on chugging.
Martha—Thanks for the kind words about style sheets. They’re indispensable! I love your idea of including an Arizona dictionary…I bet readers will love it, too. Good look with your cozy and hope you enjoy the book. 🙂
Helpful and humorous! Thanks Ruth!
B.G.—Glad you found it helpful (& humorous). Thanks!